Chapter two

{Will now display locations}

Carousel Boutique

I awoke to find myself laying on a luxurious sofa-no idea how I got there-, surrounded by classy digs and dresses hanging from the walls. And on mannequins.

Horse-shaped mannequins.

And suddenly I was standing bolt upright, my last few minutes of consciousness rattling back into my head. Well, THAT can't be right. So I dismissed it as hallucination.

I walk tentatively over to the doorway and looked around; in the distance, I could see thatched roof cottages, and some larger structures overlooking them. I decided that if there were… humans… in this place, they must be in that direction. God almighty, I hope there are.

I stuck to the bushes and trees as best I could (even though I saw neither hide nor hair of… anything) and eventually came upon… a schoolhouse? Great… fat lot of help a bunch of kids would be. But I paused in my leafy camouflage, seeing not human children exiting the school, but MORE FACACTA PONIES! Are there no people here?! Oh, god… this is a thousand times worse than bigots…I'm stuck on AN ALIEN PLANET! There goes my constitutional rights! I'm probably going to end up in some laboratory somewhere and- are those three wearing capes?!

My internal invective was interrupted by three of the smaller ponies screaming something about crusaders and rushing off down the block. I couldn't see any other ponies in the street, nor any better options, so I followed them, sticking to the shadows and hedges, trying to figure out if there was some way I could possibly introduce myself to the locals without a repeat of this morning's spectacular fail.

And now that I've written it down, that sounded a lot more diabolical than I intended it to be. Fuck. Whatever. I found them playing perilously close to a construction site, taking turns leaping over one another on…some kind of motorized scooter. …What. I swear, I had too knock the cobwebs out of my head; I thought I was going crazy…er.

The white one with pink and purple hair stood in front of a mud puddle, seemingly daring the orange one to leap over both, as a yellow one with an enormous bow in her red hair stood by watching. I cringed as the scooter- riding equine (Did I really just write that?) clipped the white one, dragging her into the mud. The orange ones' scooter snagged on its cape, dragging it off into the distance while the panicked yellow one chased after her. The white one continued to flounder in the mud.

I would have thought the whole thing was hilarious, if a wheelbarrow of construction paraphernalia wasn't about to fall on her. I swear, I don't know where… whatever I felt and did next came from. Maybe Papi's old stories about the Caballero from olden times had worn off on me. Maybe - and here's a selfish thought if ever I had one- I just wanted to make a good impression so that the locals didn't draw and quarter me. Or maybe it was because she was so goddamn cute.

I was leaping out of the bushes.

I was vaulting over bystanders.

I was halfway there.

I was looking into her horrified eyes as she scrambled to get away from me.

I was baseball sliding into the mud puddle as someone screamed.

And then, finally, I was being crushed under wood and steel.

Then… I blacked out again.

In Canterlot Castle

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, steward for the last month, sat idly on the throne whilst her husband patrolled the grounds outside. There had been reports of strange creatures sighted in the outland farms, but no actual incidents…aristocrats jockeying for favor with the temporary regent, and Aunty Tia just sent a letter extending her vacation for another two weeks.

How could Celly stand it? No wonder Woony had gone nuts. No wonder Discord wanted anarchy. No wonder Chrysalis wanted to wrap everypony up in big, soundproof bubbles so they would SHUT THE BUCK UP. She had a throbbing headache and her back was cramped from sitting regally in one position for hours. This was the most boring-

*BOOM*

THE SENTINEL IS COME.

Cadence shouted in the middle of the nearly-empty audience chamber, rearing up on her hind legs. The Royal Advisor turned towards her, interrupting his conversation with Captain Aquilinus. "Majesty? What ails you?"

"Wha- I-…you didn't hear that just now?" she said breathlessly, looking around. Her heart was aflutter, and sweat beaded on her brow.

Advisor Puddinghead XIX gave her a worried look. "Um…Majesty, I did not hear a thing…art thou feeling ill? 'Tis been a long day for us all, mayhaps we should close chambers early?"

"I…" Everypony was staring at her. She considered the ramifications for a moment, before it was decided for her.

IT BECKONS YE.

There was that migraine again, too. "Yes. I fear something is amiss. I must…uh…convene! Yes, that's the word, convene with the detail regarding the security of the outer settlements. We are hereby adjourned." Cadence quickly trotted out of the hall. As the doors closed behind her, she let out a sigh of relief. Well, at least I'm out of that stuffy room. Thanks, sudden schizophrenia.

IT BECKONS YE.

She reeled as the voice urged her onward, south and down the mountain. Gosh…pushy, aren'tcha? She sped up, hurrying to the Barracks to meet her husband, just as he was returning from patrol.

"Honey? Is something wrong?" a voice from behind her asked. She turned around to see Shining Armor, captain of the royal guard…and her husband of two years. "You look…exhausted." He gave her a passionate kiss as they sat down in the hallway outside the Barracks. She leaned against him, listening to his heartbeat.

"I don't know how my family does it. Listening to power plays all day, hearing the tiniest of squabbles blown up into giant feuds. And if that wasn't the hardest part, now I've got this booming, telepathic voice screaming at me every five minutes."

"…I'm sorry, what was that last one?" Shining said with no small amount of apprehension in his voice.

Cadence sat up and rubbed her temple. "Alicorns, especially ones governing emotions, have a sort of limited telepathy. Usually, only other alicorns in distress, or a being just as powerful, can contact us that way. But whatever this…thing is…it's pulling me towards Ponyville."

Shining Armor listened understandingly, but at the final word, he leapt to his feet, startling his wife. "We should go there, then. I've spent too much time away from Twily, and we haven't seen her since the wedding. She probably misses us like crazy, too."

"I think that would be perfect. I've never even seen her house! And I can get to know her friends better, too!" Cadence secretly hoped for another excuse to do a silly dance with Pinkie.

Shining looked pensive for a moment, tapping his chin with his hoof. "But what about Canterlot? We shouldn't just leave the place without a ruler and head of the guard."

"I think Puddinghead and Aquila can hold down the fort till we get back. We'll just tell them that we're checking out the reports of strange monsters by the Outlands and-"

IT BECKONS YE.

"OW. Okay! Fine! Enough already." Shining gave her a strange look. "Whatever we're going to do, let's do it fast before my head explodes."

The couple agreed to meet at the train station in fifteen minutes. If they felt the need for an extended stay in Ponyville, they would send for their luggage later. And if Shining wasn't there in twenty minutes after Cadence arrived, she would go on ahead without him, try to solve this conundrum as quick as possible, for the princess' sake.

Another three booming reminders and a rushed explanation to Puddinghead later, and Cadence was standing outside the Canterlot Station. Passers-by waved at her, knowing she preferred informality outside the castle; very much so. Luckily, she didn't have long to wait; Shining hurried down to her side, no longer wearing his lavender Specialist armor.

"Y'know, Shining…I think the closer we get to Ponyville, the quieter the voice gets." Cadence mused. "Less insistent, too. I think as long as we're aiming to GET there, whatever it is, is satisfied."

Shining sighed as they boarded the train. "That's a relief," he whispered. For a minute, I thought those headaches were gonna knock you right on your hot, little flank."

She gave him a devious smile. "Why Captain Armor," she whispered back, "Such language in the presence of royalty! I may have to throw you in the dungeon when we return…"

"Oh, my… is milady going to…punish me?" he said suavely. Both of them shared a naughty giggle as they stole away to the private car.

Ponyville Library

Rarity galloped through the city streets, sobbing hysterically; finally, she reached the home of Twilight Sparkle. "Twilight! Twilight! HelphelpHELP!" she squeaked as she threw open the door, sending poor Spike flying. "THERE'S A THING… IN THE PLACE…AND DOGS AND SELLING ME AND NOOHOHOHOHOOOO!" she wailed, stamping her hooves.

Twilight Sparkle looked over the banister at her freaked-out friend, and swiftly teleported down. "Rarity, RARITY! Calm down! I can't understand you!"

Rarity's head was buzzing, but she took a few breaths and calmly (For Rarity, anyway) reported her crisis to the librarian. "This morning, I went looking for Opal- to give her a bath- and sitting outside the Boutique was… was some kind of monster! It was tall as Celestia, had fur only on its head, ragged clothes, walked on two legs and had ICKY SQUISHY GRABBY SPINDLEY PAWS! The fiend grabbed me all over and then said he would take me to my owner! Don't you understand? IT WANTED TO SELL ME LIKE A PET!"

Twilight was horrified, putting her hooves to her mouth with a gasp. Barely thinking, she said "S-Spike. When the Crusaders get here, tell them there is an emergency, and keep them inside. Some monster has come trying to enslave ponies. Write to Cadence, tell her what's going on. If the crusaders try to leave, tell them that would only worry Rarity, Applejack and Scootaloo's parents. I'm only investigating. If you have to use force, do so… but KEEP THEM HERE. I'll try to be back in an hour or so. If I'm not, gather the Elements and alert Celestia."

Spike sat up groggily, rubbing his head. "Ugh…what? Argh…fine…" he muttered before flopping back down.

Twilight turned to Rarity with a fierce, yet tentative look on her face and uttered two words. "Show me."

Outside Ponyville Elementary

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DAREDEVILS!" three fillies in capes shouted to the heavens, much to the chagrin of their schoolteacher (and everypony in earshot). They galloped around the corner, where the new gym was being built, and Applebloom and Sweetie Belle began hopping up and down in place as Scootaloo donned her helmet.

"Oh, boy! What're we gonna jump over first?" Applebloom asked excitedly. "Gallopin' Gargoyle Gorge? Ooh! Ooh! How about Froggy Bottom Bog?!"

Scoots looked apprehensive for a moment. "Uh, how about we try jumping over something smaller first…" She couldn't believe the words were coming out of her mouth, but then again…she wasn't suicidal. "How about…each other!"

Her friends stopped bouncing. "Uh… wanna run that by me again?" the farm filly asked.

"I… don't think Rarity would like that. I mean, we get into enough danger wandering outside Ponyville. Our sisters would freak if we started getting ourselves hurt inside town, too." Sweetie added.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes in disdain. I think they would get freaked out just as much either way. "C'mon! I'm awesome on my scooter, maybe you girls could be too! Or you could probably be good at skateboards, or roller-skates, or something! Or maybe I'll be as famous as Rainbow Dash someday, and you guys will be my awesome stunt team!"

They shot each other a flat look before turning it on Scoots. She grinned sheepishly. "Eh…heh. Or… not…"

"I'll go first…" Applebloom sighed. She laid down on the ground, hooves over her head, as Scootaloo proceeded to rev up her scooter's motor. The orange Pegasus gained quite a bit of air leaping over her friend, and thus it was the farmer's turn to try. Over Sweetie's head she sailed, spinning out and tumbling as she landed. Unharmed, she giggled and rolled back and forth, trying to get back to her feet. Meanwhile, Sweetie leapt over her, and so the game continued. After a few rounds doin flips and spins, the girls were feeling pretty winded.

"Ah think we should take a break…maybe come back later?" the earth pony panted.

Sweetie Belle stomped her hooves. "Just one more round, okay? I feel like we're really close to getting our Cutie Marks!"

The Pegasus sighed. "Fine. We each jump one more time, then lunch. By my count, it's my turn to jump over you."

"OOH! OOH! I've got an idea!" Sweetie Belle ran over to an enormous mud puddle. "Jump this too! If this doesn't get us some kind of scooter Cutie Mark, I don't know what will."

"Good thinkin'!" Scootaloo adjusted her helmet and- tongue sticking out the side of her mouth for dramatic effect-, proceeded to jump over Sweetie Belle, tiny wings buzzing. And snagged her cape, yanking Sweetie Belle neck-first into the cloying mud.

The scooter was free of Sweetie's cape, instead hooking on Scootaloo's, and dragging her off into the bushes. Applebloom hollered "I'm comin', Scoots!" and followed after her, while the little unicorn slipped and slid, failing to find purchase in the slick mud.

Coughing and spitting, both from the mud in her mouth and the impromptu choking, she wiped her eyes clean to see… a monster as big as the princess charging straight for her. She screamed at the top of her lungs and threw her hooves over her head.

Rarity and Twilight turned the corner just in time to see the horrible beast from this morning pounce upon Sweetie Belle, just before a wheelbarrow full of wooden planks and other construction material slammed into them from two stories up. Rarity's panic turned to dread as she let out a heart-wrenching shriek: "SWEEEETIEEEE!"