"Life would be tragic if it weren't funny."

-Stephen Hawking

Chapter 2

Alarms blared in the Red Lions cockpit but neither he nor Red was paying attention. Both of them had their eyes set on that Galra bastard to notice anything else.

Zarkon was right there!

If he could kill that bastard now, he could end the war and all of this would be over.

He couldn't let this opportunity pass!

A flurry of voices was echoing from the speakers, probably his teammates, but it all sounded like jumbled words that were more distracting than anything.

Keith was too angry to stop his attacks and Reds own fury only encouraged him more.

Together they fired beam after beam from their mounted gun at Zarkon only to curse as that blasted shield that surrounded the Galra ruler deflected every attack they fired.

Keith slammed his fist in anger.

If they could just get rid of that shield…

"Keith!" a voice snapped at him and Keith blinked as Shiro's face appeared on the corner of the screen. "Fall back! I've rescued the princess and taken her back to the castle. We have to go!"

Keith stared at his long time friend in shock and shook his head in frustration. "Zarkon is right there Shiro! We can take him out!"

Shiro narrowed his eyes at him and ran a hand through his short white bangs making the scar across the bridge of his nose more prominent, "There's too many of them Keith! We only have three lions out there and I'm not much help in this battle cruiser that I stole. We have to fall back!"

"But Shiro-"

"Hey guys?" Pidge said, her image appearing on the right corner of his screen, "We could use some help over here!"

Hunk's face appeared below Pidge's face on his screen, his orange strip of cloth tied around his head falling down his face, he looked nervous, "Guys! There's too many of them!" he pulled at his black hair in fear, "What do we do?!"

"Paladins! Get back to the castle!" the princess commanded. "Keith, I need you to pick up Shiro's ship, it sustained some damage!"

Keith grunted but changed coarse and steered Red in Shiro's location, "On it!"

Pidge pushed up her glasses making her brown eyes more visible, "Hunk and I will cover you guys!"

"Thanks!"

Keith passed battle cruiser after battle cruiser until he had a clear path to Shiro. Hunk and Pidge covering him as he made Red grab the smoking ship in her paws before starting to make his way back to the ship.

"I've got Shiro guys!"

Two cheers accompanied his statement and he grinned.

"Everyone, return to the castle." Shiro said, "Coran get ready to put down those shields, we're coming your way!

Coran's chipper voice answered them back, "Already on it!

"We're all ready here," the princess responded. "As soon as you all get inside, I'll wormhole us out of here!"

Something suddenly slammed into him and Keith let out a shout as he slammed his head on the console. He was dimly aware of Shiro's own surprised shout and his friends calling out to them in concern.

Stars danced in his vision and he shook his head to get rid of them. He didn't notice the blood running down his temple but a swipe at his lower lip let him know he'd split his lip.

"Keith?" Pidge's voice called.

Hunk's voice called after her, "Shiro buddy? You okay?"

Keith shook his head a little more and blinked.

"Fine," he managed to say. "Shiro?"

There was a beat of silence before Shiro's voice answered back, "I'm fine. Coran, the shields!"

"We're trying!" Coran answered back, there was a bit of fear in his voice, "It's not working though! I think the Galra shield is stopping us-"

Pidge's voice drowned him out, "Wait. Guys look! The shield!"

"Guys?" Hunk asked, a bit of excitement entering his voice, "I don't know what's going on but I think we can wormhole out of here now!"

"Princess!" Shiro shouted.

Keith's head felt like it was throbbing but he steered Red to the wormhole that the princess had just opened. Making sure Shiro's ship was still clutched in Red's paws he made a dash to the wormhole and followed in after the green and yellow lion.

Red suddenly started shaking and Keith held on for dear life as the sound of his friends screams echoed around him. Something was wrong.

"Guys, I'm going to throw up!" Hunk cried.

"What the hell is happening?" Pidge screamed back.

"Princess, what's going on?" Shiro yelled.

The shaking suddenly grew worse and Keith screamed along with his friends as they were thrown in different directions.

Keith's eyes grew wide in fear as he saw the battle cruiser that Shiro was on slip from Red's paws and started heading towards the yellow lion.

"Shiro!" he yelled.

"Hunk, grab Shiro!"

"Wait, Pidge what's going-"

"Paladins!"

"Keith!"

The alarms in Red suddenly grew louder and Keith shouted as something heavy collided on his arm. That arm was definitely broken, or at the very least badly bruised.

And suddenly there was fire.

A burst of searing heat and noise and pain wrapped around him and suddenly he was falling. Falling fast. His own scream was blocked out as the screeching of metal and the sound of alarms grew louder in intensity.

He saw bits of green and- was that an ocean?

Mercifully, he lost consciousness before he hit the ground.


His eyes slowly eased opened and he groaned. Everything hurt. He could feel the blood from his temple gushing down the side of his face and he let out another groan. A look around his surroundings showed him the dim lights of the cockpit and he sat a little straighter before he hissed out in pain as the movement jerked on his arm.

He glanced down at his arm and winced. He was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to bend that way. Crap. It was definitely broken.

He slumped back in his seat and looked up at the ceiling before his eyes shot open as the previous events suddenly came back.

The others!

Shiro!

Were they okay?

He tapped his helmet and called out to his friends a few times but only static answered him.

A sudden banging from outside caught his attention and he slowly looked behind him to where the door was.

"Hello?" a voice yelled. "Anyone in there?"

"Here," he wheezed, clutching at the spot where his ribs were located, "I'm here."

More banging.

"Hello?"

Keith tried to answer back but only managed a moan of pain before the blackness took him and he lost consciousness once again.


Keith moaned as his eyes slowly flickered open and he noticed a rocky ceiling lit in dim lightning.

"W-what?" he stuttered out.

A face suddenly appeared above him and Keith's instincts kicked in as he threw a wild punch at the person's face only for it to be caught in the person's hand. "W-where the hell am I?" he threw another punch and let out a growl of frustration as the person caught his other fist in their hand again.

He blinked his eyes rapidly before they narrowed on the person, no girl in front of him. "Who the hell are you?" he asked angrily.

The girl, still holding both his fists in her own hands tilted her head, "Your savior."

Keith's eyebrows furrowed before he looked closer at her. The girl looked about his age with short brown hair, some of the bluest eyes he'd ever seen and was wearing what he could only describe as a toga. The white gown had a shoulder drape, and brown trim on the drape, hem, waist, and neckline that complimented her caramel skin.

She was pretty.

He'd even go so far as to say she was beautiful but for all he knew, she could be a serial killer in pretty clothes. He'd seen enough in the news to know that it was usually the pretty ones that turned out to be killers.

He couldn't let his guard down though; no matter how cute she looked as her gaze bore into his.

"If I let go of your hands, will you attack me?" she asked him.

Keith startled and tried pulling his hands back to his side. No dice. She wasn't budging.

"Only if you attack me," he replied after a third attempt.

The girl nodded and slowly, carefully, loosened her hold on his arms. He immediately brought them back to his side before clutching his right arm to his chest. Hadn't his arm been broken?

He brought a hand to his temple and noticed there was no blood. No injury. A swipe at his lip confirmed that he didn't have a split lip anymore either. What the fuck?

"You're a male." The girl stated.

Keith frowned as he brought his gaze back to her. She was watching him so intently that he felt the sudden urge to blush. "Y-yeah," he frowned as looked himself over, "Why, don't I look like one?"

He knew he wasn't the most attractive guy out there but it was pretty obvious he was a guy. Right?

The girl shook her head at him and smiled a little. Keith felt himself relax a little. "I'm sorry. I just haven't seen a man in a very long time. I'd forgotten what you all look like."

Keith nodded in understanding as he looked around the place. Where they in a cave? If they were it was one of the coolest caves he'd seen in his life. Small lights hovered on the ceiling giving the cave a bit of light. The place looked cozy with its red couch and small bed that he was currently standing on with his dirty boots.

Flushing, he instantly climbed down and mumbled a small apology at the girl before taking a seat at the edge of the bed. He glanced down at the sheets and noticed the red bloodstains on the sheets and he instantly felt even guiltier.

"Is this from me?" he asked as he pointed at the bloodstains that stood out from the white sheets. The girl nodded as she took a seat on the carpet on the floor before crossing her legs and looking him over.

And the guilt continued to pile on.

This girl had saved him, treated his wounds and what had he done to repay her? Tried to punch her in the face.

Awesome.

The girl put her hands under her chin and continued to gaze at him in silence for so long that Keith started fidgeting. Was there something on his face?

"What's your name?" she asked suddenly.

Keith startled before he narrowed his eyes at her. "Why do you want to know?"

The girl shrugged. "I just wanted something to call you instead of 'hey you' but if you don't want to answer that's fine too." She grinned, "I'll just call you mullet."

Keith's jaw dropped and he brought his hands to his hair self-consciously; did it really look like a mullet? "Keith!" he practically shouted. At her raised eyebrow, he lowered his voice. "It's Keith. And it's not a mullet." He felt the need to add.

The girl nodded and flashed him a smile that made his legs quiver, "Nice to meet you Keith. My name is Leah but you can just call me Lance."

"Lance?" He frowned, "Isn't that a guys name?"

She shrugged and her smiled turned mischievous, "It's a nickname that took when I used a bunch of lances to kill the pythons." She tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear, "Besides, I kind of like it. It suits me, don't you think?"

Keith nodded absently, the name Leah sounded like it was suited for someone who was a girly girl but she didn't strike him as someone that would gush over makeup like most girls.

He pulled a black strand of his hair in his fingertips before asking another question, "Were you the one who healed me?"

Lance nodded.

"I-but how?" At her confused expression, he elaborated, "My arm was broken! I'm pretty sure of that. And not only that but my ribs don't hurt anymore, I don't have a bruise on my forehead and there's no split lip anymore!"

Lance looked like she understood.

"Did you put me in a healing pod? How long was I out? Where's Red?"

Lance flailed her hands, "Whoa there! One question at a time." She reached behind her and finally finding what she wanted, thrust granola bar at him. "Eat this. You must be hungry."

Keith took the offered treat cautiously and sniffed it a few times. Lance rolled her eyes before taking it back, ripped open the wrapper, and bit a small piece off. "See? Not poisoned."

Keith waited a few seconds then nodded as he took the bar back from her, "Sorry, it's just-"

She grinned at him. "Better to be safe than sorry right?"

He grinned back and took a bite of the granola bar. "Exactly."

Lance placed her hands on the floor behind her and leaned back before looking up at the ceiling, "Ok, let's see. No I did not put you in a healing pod. You were only out about half an hour maybe? And if you mean the Red giant robot, it sunk into the ocean."

Keith promptly choked on his food and Lance looked at him in worry as he started coughing. She got to her feet and threw a water bottle at him, which he gladly drank.

Satisfied that he was no longer about to choke, he turned back to Lance, his expression panicked. "What do you mean it sunk into the ocean?

Lance looked at him in confusion, "You know, it sunk into the ocean just like Jack did when Rose let go of him in Titanic even though there was plenty of room left in that piece of wood."

Keith's mind reeled, "You've seen the Titanic?"

"Uh, yeah. It's a good movie. Sucky ending but good nonetheless."

Keith blinked at her furiously, "Are we on Earth?"

"Nope. But it's pretty close to it. We're on my home planet Cloyetera, home of the Amazons."

"Amazons?"

Lance nodded.

"Like those women from Wonder Woman who are all fierce and strong and their motto is pretty much 'no men allowed on our home unless they wanna die' Amazons?"

"I don't know what a Wonder Woman is but yeah pretty much." She scrunched her eyebrows together, "You've heard of us?"

Keith nodded as a giddy feeling suddenly took over his senses, "In Greek Mythology! I've read books about the Amazons about how fierce and powerful they were! In fact, there are tons and tons of books about you guys! Wonder Woman being one of them!"

Lance blinked at him curiously before the right side of her mouth twitched upwards, "Is that so?"

Keith nodded enthusiastically, "Wait." He looked her over again like it was the first time and he gripped her legs as he leaned in close to inspect her face, "Are you an Amazon?!"

Lance leaned back a little. Hadn't this guy ever heard of personal space? Jeez. "Yes?"

Keith reeled back, a smile so wide on his face that it had to hurt, "Holy crap! Holy shit! You're an Amazon! I've met an Amazon!"

"Language," she lightly scolded him.

Keith didn't seem to hear her as he mumbled to himself, letting out an excited squeal whenever he glanced back at her.

Were all males this weird she wondered. Her father and brothers hadn't acted this way around her, well only a few times but not to this extend.

"Wait, if Red sunk how are we going to get her out?"

Lance blinked her blue eyes at him. "Her?"

He waved a nonchalant hand in the air. "Yeah, she's obviously a girl."

Lance raised an amused eyebrow at him and grinned. "Obviously."

Satisfied that Lance knew Red was a girl (I mean obviously) he asked her again, "So? How are we going to get her out?"

Lance waved a hand at him. "I can probably get her out with my telekinesis, but it might take me a few tries. She's bigger than most things I've lifted with my mind."

"Telekinesis?" Keith asked, his mouth twitching upwards yet again.

"Yeah, but only me and my mom have that ability." She started naming her abilities with her fingers, "I can also throw lightning bolts, I have super strength, I can heal, and I'm a darn good sharpshooter if I say so myself."

Keith was practically shaking in excitement at this point, "Telekinesis? Lightning bolts? Ability to heal? Holy shit!"

"Language!"

He waved her comment off and frowned, "I need to get in touch with my friends! We were separated in our battle with Zarkon! I have to get back to them and let them know I'm okay!"

Lance's eyes grew wide as she suddenly got to her feet and gripped his arms, "You fought Zarkon? How are you not dead?"

Keith seemed to take offence to that, "Because I'm a Paladin of Voltron! Me and the others fought Zarkon with our lions!"

"Voltron?"

"Yep."

"You're a paladin of Voltron?"

Keith seemed to puff his chest at that, "Damn straight. I'm the red paladin!"

Lance stared at him in complete puzzlement before she put her hands on his head and closed her eyes.

Keith swallowed at the close proximity and looked at the side, "Umm, what are you doing?"

"Checking for head injuries. You obviously still have a concussion."

Keith batted her hands away from him. "I'm telling you the truth!" he growled back at her.

The looks she was giving him looked a lot like pity and he didn't like it one bit. "Keith, Voltron is just a bed time story that parents tell their children to get them to sleep. It's not real."

Keith seethed, his good mood instantly gone, "How do you explain Red then?"

Lance hesitated and Keith plundered on. "If you help get in contact with my teammates, I'll prove it to you!" he scratched at his black hair in frustration and groaned, "Well, it's only three of us right now. Shiro can't get Black out unless we find the Blue paladin, but I'm sure we'll find them soon and we'll be able to form Voltron!"

Lance still looked dubious.

"Please," he whispered, his voice pleading. "I'm telling the truth. Please believe me."

Lance gave him a long look before finally nodding, "Okay. I'll believe you." Keith sent her a relieved smile and Lance blushed as she turned to the side and crossed her arms, "I'll still want proof though." She added stubbornly.

Keith grinned and opened his mouth to say something else to her when Lance suddenly tensed and whipped her head around and tilted her head slightly.

Keith was instantly on his guard and he reached for him Bayard at his belt only to notice it wasn't there.

"What is it?" he whispered to her. "And where's my Bayard and sword?"

Lance didn't say anything for a few seconds to him and just when he thought she wasn't going to answer him she finally spoke, "Amazons. They're coming this way." She bit her nail anxiously. "It was only a matter of time I suppose. You made quite the entrance. As for your weapons, I think they're still in the Red lion's cockpit."

Keith blinked before letting out an annoyed sigh, "And you didn't bring them with you?"

Lance whipped her head back to him and glared, "I was a little busy saving your life and keeping Red from fully sinking to notice. So no, I didn't bring them with you."

Keith groaned but understood. He still didn't like the feeling of being defenseless but he suppose he could still use his fists if the need arose. "So? What do we do?"

Lance opened her mouth to reply when an alto voice spoke over her, "Lance. We know you're in there. We have a few questions for you, come out or I'll beat that pretty little butt of yours." The voice drawled.

Lance rolled her eyes and Keith felt the urge to snicker but held it in.

Lance sighed and looked back at him, a hand on her hip, "Look I'll go explain the details to them. They might come and kill you or they might let you live."

Keith balked, "They're Amazons! Isn't it their rule to kill men who trespass on their home?"

Lance hummed, "Well yeah, but I'm hoping I can convince them otherwise." She shrugged, "You have a fifty-fifty chance."

Keith scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, "I'd like to live thank you very much."

"Oh Lance," the voice outside sang, "I'm getting irritated."

Lance sighed and started heading out, she turned back to Keith and made a beckoning motion at him and he cautiously followed after her, "Just stay behind me okay? Don't show your face just yet."

Keith swallowed but nodded. "Okay."

Lance turned back to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Hey," she whispered. "Do you trust me?"

Keith stared back at her and found that the answer was yes. He did trust her. Sure he hadn't known her for very long but in all the time that he'd been in her presence, he hadn't felt a hint of malice from her.

Keith nodded and placed his hand on top of hers, "Yes."

She grinned and started heading out, Keith hot on her heels making sure to stay hidden behind her back. It's a good thing she was a bit taller than him, the thought irked him for some reason but it would keep him hidden from the dangerous women that would pretty much kill him on sight.

As they made their way out of the cave, the dim light from the light bulbs was replaced with the light from the moon. The ocean looked very blue. It was beautiful; he'd never seen an ocean so blue and clean.

His father had taken him to the beach when he was younger and he remembered how he hadn't wanted to take one step inside because of how grayish and brownish it looked like.

But the ocean in Lance's home planet was nothing compared to this one, he felt the sudden urge to take a swim and just float around as he gazed at the moon. Perhaps Lance would join him.

And cue the blush.

Keith shook his head and Lance shot him a worried glance before turning back at the women standing a few feet away. There were about twelve of them from what he could see and holy shit they were tall.

Taller than him and Lance.

All of them were wearing togas like Lance was but in different styles. Some had it long enough that it covered their legs and feet and others had togas that cut above the knee like the one Lance was wearing.

Swords, shields, and arrows with bows were strapped to their back.

They were stunning.

They looked like those fashion models that he'd seen on magazines, and even though some of them looked pretty buff, they were still stunning.

Still…

Lance had them beat in the beautiful department.

Keith stood closer to Lance and gulped.

The twelve women suddenly dropped into a crouch and Keith startled.

"Princess Lance," a pretty buff woman with yellow cat like eyes said, "We saw something pretty big fall from the sky. Are you all right?"

Princess? Keith thought.

Lance waved her arm and the women stood in one fluid motion. Lance scratched her nose and cleared her throat, "Right. Um. About that."

A red head with freckles spread on her cheeks took a step forward, "Do you know what it was Princess?"

Lance fidgeted uncomfortably and Keith pinched her arm, "Keep it together," he hissed at her.

Lance sighed in defeat, "Okay, first of all don't get mad and try not to freak out at what I'm about to show you okay?"

The twelve female warriors looked at each other before nodding back at Lance.

Lance took a deep breath and stepped to the side to show Keith.

The woman gasped and one women let out a shriek before promptly fainting.

The next thing Keith knew, he had eleven weapons aimed in his direction and Lance immediately stepped to his side and put an arm out as her other hand pinched her nose in annoyance.

"Wow. You guys never listen do you? You just did what I just told you not to do."

"Princess," a blonde with curly hair hissed, "Step back. Let us eliminate this intruder."

"No can do Cesti, this guy is my guest." Lance answered back.

"But the rules-" a woman with green skin and brown hair snarled back as she aimed her arrow at Keith's head.

"Forget the rules! He can help us fight the Galra!"

Wait. These women were also fighting against Zarkon Keith thought.

"Lies," the woman with the yellow cat eyes snarled before spitting on the floor and leveling him with a glare, "All men do is lie and seduce women."

Okay. Rude.

Keith rolled his eyes and a woman with blotches of blue on her skin screeched at him, "He looked at me! Now I'm going to end up pregnant!"

The women tensed and took a step forward.

Were these guys serious?

Lance sighed in annoyance, "First of all," she leveled a glare at the cat eyes lady, "I believe him and he hasn't tried to seduce me once so there," she leveled her blue eyes to glare at the woman with blue blotches on her skin, "And second of all, he can't get you pregnant by just looking at you," Keith nodded back furiously before Lance continued, "He has to touch you. Then bam! Pregnant."

The twelve (the one who'd fainted was awake it seems) women paled and took three steps back.

If Keith didn't have a variety of weapons aimed at his person he would have laughed at the ridiculous lie that Lance had just told. Nonetheless, his lips started twitching upwards and he had to bite the inside of his cheek before he laughed and got himself skewered by one of the Amazons.

"Now then," Lance clapped her hands together and the women turned their gaze back to her, "I think it's time to go talk to my mother."

She looped one arm around Keith's arm, ignored the scandalized screams from the women, and strode forward towards the forest pulling Keith along with her.

Lance and Keith walked ten steps before Lance turned back to the warriors, "You guys coming or not?"

Keith found it damn amusing when they scrambled after them, some even tripped on their own feet as they hastily followed after them.

"Damn," Keith said to Lance, "You're pretty badass."

Thirteen voices answered him back in annoyance, "Language!"