disclaimer: i own nothing. thanks.
Sitting on my bed alone in the very small room I am expected to live in for the next 2 to 3 months I start feeling sorry for myself. I know I shouldn't and that I can tell my father the news, but I don't want to ruin this experience for him. I think back to the phone call when I told him I would indeed join him on the crab boat. He had been asking me to do it for quite some time and finally I had given into the pressure. He was ecstatic at the news. Ever since being diagnosed with leukemia at just 10 years old I want to do as many things as I can. Now at 21, my view has changed. I just don't want to go through the treatments and all the pain anymore just for a chance at living. I want to have a few good months and then if I need to, I'll go to the hospital. I know what I am doing is very risky, but so is coming onto this vessel. I could just as easily die out here than if I was just sitting around Seattle, WA.
A knock on my door snaps me out of my daydream.
"Hey, honey," My dad says coming into the room. His smile immediately turns into a frown. "What's wrong?" He asks me.
That's one of the bad things about my father. He can always sense when I am feeling low.
"Nothing," I reply plastering a smile on my face, "I'm really excited to get started."
His blue eyes meet my hazel and he looks intently at me searching for the truth that is threatening to spill from my lips. Before it does I jump up and start ruffling through my duffel bag. I'm looking for some clothes to change into so, I can help out on deck. Staring into my red bag like it was the most interesting thing in the world, not wanting to meet my father's serious gaze, I wait until he leaves the room for me to change to look around and sigh to myself.
"Get yourself together," I whisper.
"Talking to yourself already??" A voice asks with a laugh, "You've only been out here an hour."
I fake a laugh and look into the hazel eyes I had seen earlier. I can feel a blush creeping up my neck. Not wanting to make it awkward I joke, "Oh, you know… just talking to the 'ol crab gods." I force a laugh, but my joke is lame and I know it. I shake my head and look back down at my duffel bag.
"I'm Jake," He says breaking the silence, "Phil's son."
"Megan," I tell him reaching out to shake his hand. I look down and see that his forearms are very defined and that he has tattoos. Of course, he has to have two of my biggest weaknesses right out in front of me. He is also wearing a plaid shirt and I love a boy in plaid. This was going to be a very long trip.
He clears his throat and I am shaken out of my daydream. I tend to do that a lot I guess…
"Sorry," I say with my face blushing even more. I don't dare look at his face and kick myself for turning into the shy version of myself. This always happens with boys that I think are cute. I get all awkward and shy while boys who I happen to not be attracted to have no affect on me whatsoever. I can be as sarcastic as the next person with people I am completely comfortable with, but those dang boys that tug at my heartstrings. Damn them.
He smiles at me and cracks a joke that causes people in the galley to burst out laughing. I just feel myself blush even more. I look at the creases made by his wide smile finding myself captivated. I watch him as he walks into the galley still smiling and joking with the other crewmen. I tear my eyes away just in time for a fit of harsh coughs. I reach for my make up bag which contains the pills I need to get by. The first hour and I am already starting to fall apart. I just need to get this medicine flowing through my veins and then I can get my head on straight. I'm going to need to stay sharp these next few months. No Jake, no Jake, no Jake, I think to myself and I head to the bathroom carrying my supplies.
"Hey," Jake says grabbing my hand which causes electricity to shoot through my body, "You okay?"
I smile at his concern and reply, "yeah, I'm fine."
I keep walking towards the bathroom smiling to myself.
