The Second Lesson
She's running. Running, running, running but she can't run fast enough. She feels it getting closer behind her but she can't seem to get away. "Lucy," it whispers, calling her name, trying to lure her towards it as it chases her. "Lucy."
She shakes her head and pushes harder, trying to get away. She feels the ground start to shake. It runs through her feet and up inside her body, rattling her bones. She staggers to the ground, knowing she's done for.
When it grabs her she gasps and her eyes fly open.
"Lucy. Lucy, wake up."
She sits up in bed, her breathing heavy, like she really has been running. Her hands feel clammy. She rubs them on the bedspread. She can hear her heart pounding, beating hard against her chest.
Brittany is crouched on the floor in the darkness, watching her closely. "Lucy," she calls softly. It isn't until Lucy makes eye contact with her that Brittany reaches out and lays a gentle hand on Lucy's arm. "Lucy, it's okay. It was just a bad dream. You're okay."
Lucy nods silently. Her glasses are on the side table, under the window. Even though there's moonlight coming through the curtains, everything is a little blurry for her. "Brittany?" Her voice is scratchy and thick.
"It's okay, Lucy," Brittany coos. "You're safe here." Her hand runs soothingly up and down Lucy's arm, calming her. "Just take a deep breath, let it out."
Lucy, her mind still fuzzy, does as she's told automatically, breathing deep through her nose and then releasing it through her mouth. She repeats this a few times until she feels her heart slow.
"It's okay, Lucy. Don't cry," Brittany says, standing and sliding into the small bed. Lucy wasn't aware she was crying, but when she lifts a hand, yes, her cheeks are damp. "Just relax, it's gone, it was just a bad dream," Brittany insists gently, scooting next to Lucy and pulling her into her arms. Lucy lets her, stiffening for a moment before relaxing into the hug. Her father used to do this when she was really little and had a bad dream. Only when she was really little though.
Brittany keeps muttering things into her ear, holding her close and rubbing her hair and arms and sides. Everywhere she can, she touches and tries to sooth, rubbing calming circles into Lucy's skin.
When she's sure Lucy has calmed down Brittany eventually pulls away, "Did you want a glass of water?" she offers softly, "Kells always wants water after a bad dream."
Lucy shakes her head.
(No food or drinks after dinner Lucy, it will make it harder to fall asleep.)
"Do you miss your parents?"
Lucy shrugs. "Yes."
"We won't watch anything scary anymore, okay? I promise. My mom will be upset if she knows we gave you bad dreams on your first night."
"It's not your fault, Brittany." Lucy replies, her voice a low whisper. She has scary dreams whenever she doesn't sleep in her own bed. Even when she falls asleep on the couch at home during a movie, or when she was just little and napped in her parents bed. She can't sleep soundly unless she's in her own bed.
"Do you have a stuffy?" Brittany asks, looking past Lucy in the darkness at she sheets she's tangled in, searching.
"A… a what?"
"A stuffy? A stuffed animal? Something to hug at night?"
At home, Lucy has a few stuffed animals, but they stay on her bookshelf. They're special. She doesn't want to sleep with them and get them all wrinkled and squished. She also has a shelf with all her China dolls; her father buys her a new one whenever he goes away. He tells her they watch over her when she sleeps. They stay on the shelf too.
"No," Lucy answers, a little embarrassed.
But in the moonlight she sees Brittany smile. The taller girl pulls away and pads over to her own bed, pulling one of the stuffed animals from the army at the foot of her bed.
"Kelsey has about twelve all on her bed at once, it's like a mountain of bodies. I have seven I sleep with," Brittany explains. "One for each day of the week. That way it's fair. They're my favourites. All my other ones are in the basement with our other toys. Here," she hands Lucy something soft and plush.
Lucy looks at it, but its dark and she doesn't have her glasses so she can't tell exactly what it is.
"This is Gideon," Brittany explains. "He's my Sunday stuffy, because Sundays are the hardest because you have to get up and go to school in the morning." Her voice softens, gentle and comforting, "He'll protect you when you sleep. He's really strong. He's the strongest of my stuffies."
Lucy can make out four legs and a head, but she still doesn't know what kind of animal she's holding. "What is he?"
"A goat. Well, a baby goat. He's only got stubby little horns. But he's really brave and really strong and he'll keep you safe, I promise."
Lucy smiles. A baby goat. A kid. It's almost her favourite. Lambs are Lucy's favourite animal, baby sheep. Kids are almost lambs.
"Thank you, Brittany."
She can tell Brittany is smiling. "No problem." She leans over and pulls Lucy into another hug. Lucy reacts faster this time, letting her arms wrap around the other girl's body. "Sleep tight, okay? No more bad dreams."
"No more bad dreams," Lucy repeats, squeezing Gideon close to her body as she lies back down.
After saying a silent Grace to herself Lucy inspects the plate placed before her. There's scrambled eggs and toast. And something else. She doesn't know what the third thing on the plate is.
She woke up before Brittany and Kelsey, so she opened the curtains a little wider and read some more from her book until Mr. Pierce poked his head in the room and the other two woke up. They tromped downstairs and joined Anthony on the couch to watch cartoons until Mrs. Pierce called them for breakfast; Brittany's eyes flickered between the television and the clock on the wall the whole time. Lucy didn't want to be rude and ask what she was doing, but she had been curious.
And now here she is, looking at her plate a little hesitantly. She'll eat it. She knows to eat what's given to her. She just doesn't know what it is.
"Um," She looks around the table, hoping someone will help her out. "What… what is this?"
Anthony looks at her like she's some sort of alien creature. "Breakfast. You eat it."
"No, no I know that, what's…" she points to the third thing on her plate helplessly.
Mrs. Pierce comes up behind her, hands hovering above Lucy's shoulders as she leans over to see what she's pointing at, still careful not to touch Lucy if she doesn't want it. "That's bacon, sweetie."
"I've never had that before."
"Never?!" Brittany and Kelsey say at the same time.
"You don't have to eat it if you don't want to," Mrs. Pierce says before moving back to the counter to finish making her coffee. They kids are eating breakfast in the kitchen, since there's only the four of them. They don't have to eat in the dining room.
Lucy isn't a rude little girl like her mother sometimes makes her feel. She picks up a piece of the bacon and bites it. Then she chews. Then she swallows. Then she smiles.
It's really good.
Brittany's grinning at her, "See. It's delicious." She's wriggling around in her seat; she seems more fidgety than yesterday, but she's still smiling at Lucy.
Brittany's right. It's really tasty. Lucy thinks it might be her new favourite.
"How was your night, Lucy?" Mrs. Pierce asks. "Did you sleep alright?"
Lucy thinks back to what Brittany said last night, about how her mother would be upset if she knew Lucy had bad dreams on her first night there. She sees Mrs. Pierce's smile, and thinks about how kind she's been. How sweet and nice and warm. She doesn't want to make Mrs. Pierce sad.
(Don't tell lies Lucy, it's not proper.)
(God doesn't love liars, Lucy.)
(You must never tell lies, Lucy.)
"Yes," she answers. "Brittany let me borrow her Gideon."
Mrs. Pierce smiles at her and then gives a look of approval to her daughter, "That was nice of her."
"You never let me borrow your stuffed animals!" Kelsey yells from across the table.
"That's because you smell."
"Brittany, don't say that to your sister."
"But she does."
"Brittany."
"Sorry."
"I think she smells, too."
"Anthony, don't start."
"I do though, I think she smells."
"See Mom? We should totally sell her. She smells bad."
"At least I don't have stupid hair or holes in my ears."
"I don't have stupid hair."
"It's all short and stuff."
"I'm a boy. Boys have short hair."
"Kells you're supposed to have holes in your ears so you can wear earrings."
"Well they look dumb."
This is the strangest family Lucy has stayed at yet.
Lucy eats all the bacon on her plate first, not touching the eggs or the toast even though she's supposed to eat in a circle, taking a bite of each in a row so one doesn't get left for last and get cold on her plate. That's how she's been taught to eat. Lucy figures it's okay to not have proper table manners once, since she's showing her appreciation of the bacon to Mrs. Pierce by gobbling it up right away.
Charity comes into the kitchen and starts up a high-pitched mewing, twisting between Mrs. Pierce's legs. While the kids eat Mrs. Pierce gets the kitten her breakfast, who chirps happily at her until the bowl is placed down. Once she's finished the bacon Lucy remembers to act like a lady and eats the rest of her breakfast slowly. Anthony is eyeing the crusts Brittany has on her plate that she hasn't eaten. Kelsey is telling her mother about a toy she saw on a commercial that she wants for Christmas. Brittany eats and continues to fidget.
When they're all finished Brittany grabs Kelsey's hand as she jumps to her feet, tugging her sister along with her. "What?" Kelsey groans.
"We're gonna be late!" Brittany bolts from the room, dragging her sister with her, and Lucy can hear the pounding of them running up the stairs. She gives a curious look to Anthony, but he's too busy stealing the uneaten crusts of Brittany's toast to notice.
Lucy stands, taking hers and Brittany's plates over to the counter. When Mrs. Pierce smiles and says, "You are such a polite little thing," as she takes them from Lucy and begins to load them in the dishwasher Lucy feels a small swell in her chest. All she wants is for people to think she's good enough.
"Mom, you better be ready to leave soon!" Brittany hollers through the house.
"We have plenty of time," Mrs. Pierce calls back, taking a sip of her coffee and leaning against the counter.
"You do remember that my class got bumped up an hour, right? So now you have to drop me and Kells at the same time! Dad's car is broken!"
"Oh crap," Mrs. Pierce winces to herself quietly.
"Mom!" Brittany yells when she gets no reply.
"Okay, honey, we'll make it. Don't worry!" She looks down at the robe she's wearing and then helplessly at the two children in the room. Anthony is trying to coax Charity closer with a piece of egg. The table still has dirty dishes on it.
"I can clear the table," Lucy offers.
"Oh," Mrs. Pierce looks torn for a moment and then says, "Thank you, honey. Things are just a little hectic right now, we're always running around on Saturday mornings." She leaves to go get dressed, brushing a hand on Lucy's arm as she goes.
Lucy begins gathering the ketchup and barbeque sauce containers – Brittany likes barbeque sauce with her eggs, Lucy had tried not to grimace – and as she's opening to refrigerator to put them away there's more stomping as Brittany comes running down the stairs and into the kitchen.
She's standing in the doorway, panting. She's still wearing her Winnie the Pooh sleep shirt, but her shorts have been switched for white tights. "Where are my leotards," she growls at Anthony.
He shrugs, "No idea." Charity is still sniffing at the egg in his fingers, not sure if she can eat it.
"Anthony, this isn't funny. Where are they?"
"I didn't take them!"
"There's a note that says will return for ransom in my closet where all my leotards should be."
"Maybe it was Kelsey."
"Kelsey can't spell ransom! Where are they? We have to leave in like, ten minutes because my mom has to drive me and Kells to two different places and they both forgot and my dad's car won't work."
"Maybe the new girl did it."
Brittany turns to look at Lucy, standing next to the open refrigerator, and then glares back at the other boy. "I'll tell my mom you were the one who broke the tap in their bathroom because you and Jake were playing Army Mechanic."
Lucy has no idea what this means, but clearly Anthony does. "Garage. Trunk of your dad's car."
Brittany growls and then runs out of the room. A few seconds later there's a slam of a door.
"Why did you-?" she beings.
"She beat me at Operation on Game Night. It was her punishment."
"She…?"
Mr. Pierce comes into the kitchen then, carrying Jacob on his hip. He smiles at Lucy, "Good morning, Lucy."
"Good morning, sir."
Mr. Pierce blinks a few times, holding back a smirk, before looking at Anthony, "Have you seen-"
"I already told Brittany where I hid her silly dance costumes."
"-Kelsey's bag?"
Lucy closes the refrigerator and stands there silently. The rules of behaviour in this house are strange. She thought she was learning. But clearly not.
Mr. Pierce frowns at the boy, "I'm going to ignore that one for now. Have you seen Kelsey's bag?"
"Her backpack? It's in the basement," Anthony offers helpfully.
"No, her art bag. The pink one with-"
"With the furry handle that Charity was chewing on? Her mom put it in the laundry room to hide it so the cat wouldn't try and swallow it."
Mr. Pierce nods and leaves the room, nearly walking into his daughter as Brittany – still running – bursts into the room, now wearing the white tights with a black dance leotard over top. There's a gym bag over her shoulder. She runs over to the refrigerator – Lucy hastily moves out of the way – and pulls a bottle of water out and stuffs it into the bag.
She looks over at Anthony, "I hate you."
"Hate is a strong word, Brittany," Anthony says in a high voice, imitating Brittany's mother, "You shouldn't use strong words like that when you don't mean it."
"But I do mean it. And I'm telling my mom you-"
"Telling me what?" Mrs. Pierce asks, poking her head in the room.
"Mom-we-need-to-leave-right-now!" Brittany yells, all as one word.
"Kelsey is just getting dressed. But you can go and put your boots and coat on if you're in such a rush." Brittany does as she's asked, leaving the room faster than Lucy has ever seen anyone move. Anthony follows, muttering about how much he hates her back.
Mrs. Pierce moves over to the sink to sip the last of the coffee she put down when Brittany began yelling at her.
"Mrs. Pierce?" Lucy asks carefully, because she is really confused. When the woman looks over at her with a smile, Lucy continues, "Why is everyone running around?"
"Saturday mornings Brittany has dance lessons and Kelsey has art class," Mrs. Pierce explains. "They used to be an hour apart, so we had more time to get ready in the morning, but I'd forgotten Brittany's class moved up a time slot. Now she starts at the same time as her sister. And of course," she smiles, "Their lessons can't be in the same area of town. That would make things too easy."
Lucy understands now why Brittany was so fidgety. She still doesn't understand why Anthony hid her clothes, but she figures Mrs. Pierce won't be able to give a proper explanation for that.
"Brittany has ballet Saturday mornings and Jazz on Thursday evenings," the woman continues. "And Kelsey just started up the beginner art classes, she likes drawing and painting. Anthony has swimming lessons Monday afternoons, it lets him blow off some energy."
She studies Lucy for a moment before asking, "Did you want to come to Brittany's dance lesson with her? I'm sure we could find an outfit of hers that would fit."
Lucy's mind slows to a stop. "I… p-pardon?"
There's a shouting match going on in the hallway. Mrs. Pierce lays a hand on Lucy's shoulder as she leads her out of the kitchen and towards the racket. "Roger and I like encouraging our kids to have a creative outlet, even the ones that aren't ours. You're welcome to go to Brittany's lesson today, I'm sure her instructor won't mind. If you like it then I can enrol you for lessons. You wouldn't be at the same level as Brittany, but it would be a fun thing for you to try. Brittany loves dance."
They reach the front hall just as Brittany finishes screaming up the stairs at her sister and then runs out the front door towards the car, slamming the door in the process. Lucy winces, feeling the vibration run alone the floor and up into her bones for a moment.
She still hasn't decided yet if she likes that this house is so loud and lived-in.
"Well," Mrs. Pierce asks as she takes her coat out of the closet.
"I… I don't know how to dance," Lucy manages to come up with, not really sure how to respond.
Mrs. Pierce smiles and gives a small laugh, "Well that's why they're called lessons, sweet heart."
Even if Mrs. Pierce is offering to take her, Lucy knows she can't go. Because if she likes it, it will be too hard to say no when Mrs. Pierce offers to pay for her to take lessons. And Lucy doesn't even have any of her mother's rules floating through her mind at this point, but she knows she can't let Mrs. Pierce do that. She's already taken Lucy into her home and is taking care of her like she's her own daughter, Lucy could never ask the woman to pay for dancing lessons for her.
"I… I'm alright here," she answers, trying to be polite.
Mrs. Pierce gives a small, sad smile, and Lucy isn't sure if she's said the right thing. "Okay. But let me know if you change your mind." She turns away to grab her coat as Kelsey finishes shoving her feet into her boots, "Come on, Kelsey, before your sister drives herself to dance class."
When the leave and the door closes the house suddenly feels a lot quieter. Lucy stands still in the front hall for a moment, taking in the stillness. Even this stillness feels more awake and warm then the stillness of her house with her mother. She knows she shouldn't like it, because that is her real home, but.
She wanders through the house. Mr. Pierce is in the kitchen making coffee and watching Jacob, who seems more intent to fire his cereal across the table than eat it.
Anthony is in the den, watching a loud television show with people in bright outfits. There's lots of yelling and explosions behind them and they start fighting with strange creatures in clunky costumes. Lucy stands in the doorway, watching.
"What?" Anthony asks, looking over at her from where he's hanging off one end of the couch. He never seems to sit properly in his seat, it's strange.
"What are you watching?"
"Power Rangers. Duh." He rolls his eyes at her, as if every child is expected to know this, and goes back to watching the television and ignoring her presence.
Lucy was never allowed to watch Power Rangers at home. (Violence on television isn't for little girls, Lucy.) Mostly she'd watch The Bugs Bunny and Tweetie Show or the 101 Dalmatians cartoon when she was allowed to watch television. Or daytime soap operas or the cooking channel with her mother. Or the court channel with her father.
(Lucy, you're going to be our little politics girl, just like your father.)
She hovers in the doorway a little while longer, watching what happens on the screen. Kids she knows from her last school, and the one before that actually, watch and love this show. They play pretend at recess, acting out scenes and pretending to be the characters. They're loud and shout and play-fight a lot. But Lucy's never watched it, so she was never included.
She watches it now, for a few moments. It does look like fun; the characters are like superheroes, protecting their city. They have powers and get to wear bright colours all the time.
But she knows she isn't allowed to watch this. She doesn't live with her mother right now, but the rules should still apply. Shows with violence and fighting and blood and things like that aren't for little children, especially for little girls. She does want to watch, to see why everyone likes it, but knows it isn't right. So she leaves.
Charity is in the hallway, batting at a piece of balled-up tinfoil with her paw. It jitters and rolls awkwardly along the floor, and the kitten jumps around, chasing it like it is the most fascinating thing in the world.
Lucy remembers Kelsey mentioning teaching Charity to play fetch.
The ball of foil bounces down the hall and bumps into her feet. Charity runs forward and pounces, paws trapping the ball. Then she rolls, flopping onto her back on top of Lucy's feet and looks lovingly up at her, hoping Lucy will play.
"Oh, you're too cute to say no to," Lucy says, bending to take the foil ball and lightly tossing it down the hallway. It only goes a few feet, but Charity leaps up and chases it along the floor, sliding into the wall as she does so.
Once she orients herself again, the kitten picks up the bit of tinfoil in her mouth and trots happily back to Lucy, dropping it at her feet and sitting expectantly, tail swishing and big eyes looking up imploringly at Lucy. Lucy can't help herself, she smiles slowly and picks up the foil to throw it again.
The pair make their way down the hallway; Lucy throwing the ball and Charity running after it, and Lucy taking a few steps to follow. Eventually they reach the stairs. Lucy eyes them, looking up to the second floor and then back down at the small kitten at her feet, who is fixated on the ball of foil in Lucy's hand.
Really worried she's about to break the Pierce's kitten, Lucy tosses the tinfoil up onto the fifth stair from the bottom. The kitten happily scampers up and grabs the make-shift toy, flopping down and curling onto herself to play with it. Lucy moves up the stairs and takes the foil and tosses it up to the very top. Charity chases.
They make their way back to Brittany and Kelsey's room, where Lucy changes from her nightgown into a dress to wear for the day, all the while tossing the foil across the room for Charity to fetch. Then she brushes her hair, tidies her small space in the room, and then goes to the washroom to brush her teeth. When she's finished in there she tosses the foil again for Charity, but this time she throws the foil a little too far. It sails into Mr. and Mrs.'s Pierce's bedroom.
Charity makes a happy yowl and runs after the ball. But she doesn't come out of the room.
Worried the ball has landed somewhere the kitten either can't reach, or will hurt herself trying to reach, Lucy takes a few slow steps towards the bedroom. She doesn't even need her mother's voice in her head to tell her this is wrong.
(Never enter someone's private space, Lucy. It's rude and invading.)
(Lucy, God doesn't love little girls who go snooping where they don't belong.)
She reaches the doorframe but stops; the door is half closed, blocking her view. She can't hear or immediately see Charity. What if the kitten is stuck? She's only just gotten here, and she really likes it here, this family is nice. She doesn't want to be forced to go because she hurt their cat.
But this is Mr. and Mrs.'s Pierce's room. She knows she isn't allowed to go inside.
A dull thump echoing from the room inside jolts Lucy into action, her need to make sure the kitten is okay greater than her mother's voice in her head. Pushing the door open she steps inside.
There's a picture frame on the floor, right next to where Charity's sitting. The cat is looking up determinedly at the table next to the bed, apparently having tried already to climb up to get the ball and knocking the picture frame over in the process.
The kitten stretches up on her back legs again, pawing at the top of the table, and gives a soft, pleading mew. Then she changes tactic suddenly, landing back on all fours before jumping up onto the bed. From there she walks up onto the table to get the foil.
Lucy rushes over, catching the reading glasses the cat knocks over. She places the glasses and the picture back on the table, and then reaches to pick up the kitten and take her out of the room. Unfortunately, Charity has other ideas. Her paw comes out and knocks the foil from the table, sending it skidding across the carpet. The cat leaps off the table to chase after it.
Thankfully the cat manages to pounce on the tinfoil before she crashes into the bookshelf against the wall. She flops over, rolling on her back and kicking her feet in the air as she clutches the foil in her paws.
Lucy stares at the bookshelf.
(Lucy you should never touch people's private things, it's impolite and unacceptable.)
There's a massive bookshelf just sitting there, calling towards her. She walks over hesitantly, very unsure of herself and aware that she shouldn't even be in here much less snooping around.
But, books.
Charity plays happily at the base of the bookshelf while Lucy steps close enough to read the titles. Each shelf is stuffed with books, all lined up on each shelf, with some even squished in to fit on top, lying on their sides. Her hands reach out, tracing over the spines. Some are new and fresh, some are worn and broken in. They're all different sizes and colours, with different fonts scrolled along their sides, displaying their titles.
Lucy doesn't even hear specific words her mother's voice says to her anymore; inside her head now is just one massive yell, her mother telling her that no, no this isn't acceptable.
She reaches to take one of the books off the shelf, her mother's voice in her head screaming at her that she's a sinner and a very bad little girl.
But Lucy can hardly hear, she's too enthralled. A whole shelf of books she's never read.
It doesn't matter that they're books for adults, that they aren't stories about little girls finding hidden gardens or little boys befriending baby deer. They're still stories she's never read, and they're calling to her.
Sometime later Lucy is sitting at the base of the shelf, book in her hands, Charity purring in her lap. The book is difficult, with long words she's never heard of and big blocks of text that are dull and dry. It's about some people, in Egypt she thinks, and they have some old treasured piece of paper that other people are trying to steal because of what's written on it. She's only a few chapters deep in the story, but she's already trapped within the pages, living their adventure in a faraway land.
"Oh, there you are."
Lucy yelps, shuffling backwards in fright, scaring the cat in her lap in the process. Charity digs her little claws into Lucy's thighs before leaping up and running out of the room. The thick paper-back tumbles from her hands, hitting the floor and losing her place in the story.
Brittany is standing in the doorframe, no longer in her dance uniform, a curious smile on her face.
Lucy is frozen, her fear of being punished swelling up so big inside her that she can't move.
"I didn't mean to scare you."
Lucy shies away, knowing she's about to get in trouble.
Brittany gives her a funny look, "What's wrong?"
She can feel her lip quivering and her eyes growing really big. She knew this was wrong. She knew it was wrong to come in here and she knew it was wrong to stay in here but she did anyway so she deserves any punishment she gets.
"What?" Brittany looks concerned now, like maybe Lucy has hurt herself.
Lucy's voice is very quiet when she says, "I'm sorry."
Now Brittany is giving her a confused look. "For…reading?" She steps into the room and crouches down, picking up the book Lucy dropped. Inspecting the title, she says, "Or are you sorry for reading something old and boring?"
"Um." Lucy frowns, not sure why Brittany isn't getting mad or telling her parents Lucy was in their bedroom. "It isn't boring?" Her words come out as a question, because she's really unsure of what's going on.
"It's one of my dad's books, so it must be boring. Come on," She takes Lucy's hand and drags her to her feet.
"Shouldn't we put the book back?" Lucy asks as Brittany begins walking away, book in hand.
"Well don't you want to finish reading it?"
Lucy gives a really shy look. Yes, she does. But she knows she shouldn't.
Brittany chuckles lightly at her, "Lucy, it's only a book. My dad won't get mad at you for reading a book."
"But-"
"You can ask him if you can borrow it," Brittany shrugs, "If that will make you feel better. But he won't mind."
"I'd rather ask," Lucy replies softly, taking the book from Brittany and placing it back in its place on the shelf. Once it's slid into place she follows the other girl from the room.
"How was your dance class?" she asks, both because it's polite to ask, and because she really does want to know.
"Fun!" Brittany says, leading her down the stairs. "We started learning the steps to a new piece today, they were really cool. Hard, but super fun!" Brittany leaps down the last few steps as she says this, clearly in a good mood.
Lucy smiles shyly. Brittany is a really amusing girl. "I'm glad you had fun, you seemed really worried this morning."
Brittany nods, "Mom says I'm impatient."
Lucy has been told she's impatient too, many times, so she understands what Brittany means.
The other girl leads her into the kitchen and then opens a door Lucy never noticed before. "Where are we going?" she asks, watching Brittany walk through and begin to go down some stairs.
"The basement," Brittany calls over her shoulder. "We usually play down here."
Lucy follows her down the stairs, holding tight to the railing. There's a wall along her one side, but it's open on the other, easy for someone to fall over.
Brittany has probably purposely jumped over before. Anthony too.
At the base of the stairs there's tile floor, with a bar stand and stools, but the rest is carpeted. The stairs sit in the middle of the basement, to the right there's a door to a washroom and cold cellar, as well as what is probably Mr. Pierce's office. To the left is a big open space, with a couch, a few chairs, and a television.
Brittany's little sister is already waiting for them, curled up in a tight ball on a very worn looking couch. When she hears them she lifts her head and blinks at them, yawning. She looks a lot like Charity, curled up as she is.
"Where's Anthony?" Brittany asks, leaping up to stand on the recliner, which rocks slightly with her weight. She brings her hand up to her face, as if shielding herself from the sun as she scans the basement. "I thought Dad said he was down here."
"I was having a cat nap," Kelsey says, fully sitting up and shaking her blonde hair out of her face. She's still acting very much like a cat. "I didn't hear him."
Brittany frowns, "Maybe he-"
Anthony leaps out from behind the sound system unit, roaring loudly at them. "The Dark Lion Prince Anthony is here!" he yells, waving his arms around.
Brittany and Kelsey both shriek and bolt; Kelsey leaps over the back of the couch to get away and Brittany jumps down from the recliner, sending it fiercely rocking back and forth. As they run past Brittany reaches out and grabs Lucy's arm, dragging her along.
"Quick, across the river!" Kelsey yells, leading them to the part of the basement with tile floor. The girls ignore the bar, opting to jump across the tile and land safely on the carpet on the other side. "Get to safety," Brittany yells at Lucy and her sister, letting go of Lucy's hand. There's a stack of small pillows leaning against the wall. Brittany runs over and throws them on the tile just as Anthony reaches it. "Those are crocodiles, they'll eat you!"
Kelsey has run off, seeking shelter inside the office. Lucy stands dumbly, watching Brittany taunt Anthony because he can't cross the tiles. Anthony has dropped down onto all fours and is pacing and growling at Brittany.
"Come on," Brittany insists, taking Lucy's hand and tugging her into motion again. Lucy lets herself be dragged along, a little unsure of what exactly is happening. "We have to hurry and get to Pride Rock before he figures out how to cross the river!"
Brittany leads her into the office space, where Kelsey is crouching behind the rolling desk chair. "Where is he?" she hisses at them.
Brittany presses down on Lucy's back, forcing her to crouch alongside them. "He's stuck at the river," Brittany whispers back. "He'll figure out how to cross soon; jumping on the crocodile's closed mouths."
"Or he'll go back," Kelsey adds, her voice quickening with excitement. "And get reinforcements. The dark lions are trying to take over the kingdom."
"We have to do something!"
"I'll go check it out," Kelsey says, scrambling forward on hands and knees. "I'll yell for you to run if he crosses the river. If he goes back to his kingdom, we'll have to chase him and stop him."
"How?" Brittany whines.
"If we have to chase him, we can herd him into the jungle; even a lion can't survive on his own in there. There's too many scary things."
"Good idea," Brittany agrees. "Okay, be careful," she says, pulling her sister into a quick hug before shoving her forward. Kelsey takes off, quickly making her way across the carpet on her hands and knees.
Lucy and Brittany wait silently for a long moment, waiting for a signal from Kelsey of what to do. But eventually the confusion at what is going on takes control of Lucy and she blurts out, "What are you doing?"
"Shhh," Brittany insists, pressing a finger to Lucy's lips.
Lucy leans back, away from the touch. "Brittany," she says, keeping her voice lower, "what's going on?"
Brittany grins at her, "We're playing. Anthony's the prince of the dark lion kingdom, he's trying to take over our home."
Lucy is very, very confused. "What?"
"It's a game," Brittany insists, eyes wide and happy. On her face is her ever-present smile.
"I… I don't understand."
"It's make-believe, Lucy. Haven't you ever played that before?"
(Playing pretend is for toddlers, Lucy. Grown women live in the real world, not some fantasy world they create in their heads.)
Lucy knows that sometimes the kids at school play pretend at recess, they run around laughing and screaming and imagining they're things other than themselves. But not a lot of the kids at school like her, no matter where she goes. They don't usually include her in their games. She's only trying to be exactly what her mother tells her to be, polite and sweet and a good little girl that God will love, but the other kids don't see her like that. She's quiet and shy, so they think she thinks she's too good for them. And she tries hard in school so they make fun of her for being smart. And they make fun of her for liking to read. So usually at recess when the other kids play and don't ask her to join, she's either alone on the swings, or in the shade near the school building's wall reading.
The day she learned how to use the school library was one of the best days of her life. It's hard now, because she keeps changing schools. But the libraries have so many more books than she does at home.
Reading is really the only imagination she has, where she gets lost in other people's worlds, living their adventures. She has dolls at home she plays with, pretends they're families and things like that. But she doesn't have a whole lot of time for playing. She's at school during the day, and after school and on the weekends she's either doing chores, doing homework, or reading. It's not as fun to play on your own, and Lucy doesn't have a whole lot of friends.
So besides reading, and pretending she's little Sara Crewe or other characters from her books, Lucy doesn't do a whole lot of make-believing.
Brittany's face falls when Lucy doesn't say anything. "Oh," she says sadly. "You… you've never played pretend before, huh?"
"No," Lucy says, her voice hardly there. "I don't know how."
Brittany sits still for a long moment, silently watching her. Lucy worries that Brittany's grown angry or upset with her, that she's silently judging Lucy because she doesn't know how to do something Brittany does.
"Everyone knows how to make-believe, Lucy. Maybe you just don't know it, but I know you do. But here, I'll teach you, okay? I'll show you that you know how to make-believe. When it's Christmas, and you imagine all the things Santa might bring you, how cool his workshop must be? Or when it's night out, and you see a falling star and you picture where it came from, what other universe it was a part of? Or when you wish really hard on birthday candles? That's make-believe."
Brittany shuffles closer on her knees, taking both of Lucy's hands and grasping them tightly. "All your books, when you get sucked into the stories and sometimes it feels like you are the characters? It feels like you're traveling alongside them. Like Peter Pan; when he goes on his adventures and you pretend you're one of the Lost Boys, following along and adventuring with them." Brittany's eyes are soft as she looks at Lucy. They're wide and excited, but they're soft. She's not scolding Lucy for thinking she doesn't know how to pretend, she's hopeful that Lucy will believe her. "Have you ever wanted to be Wendy? Have you ever, just for a second, thought what sort of quests you would go on with Peter if you were her? Pictured what would happen?"
Lucy stays quiet for a long moment before murmuring, "Yes."
"See," Brittany says, squeezing her hands. "All you have to do is believe. That's what playing pretend is, just believe, as hard as you can, and you can be anyone you want, you can be anywhere you want, doing anything you want to."
"Just like that?" Lucy breathes.
Brittany squeezes her hands again, "Just like that. It's like what Peter and Tinker Bell say: think of a wonderful thought." She smiles, showing her teeth, "All it takes is faith and trust."
Lucy frowns despite herself, "I thought that was for flying."
A small, hushed giggle bursts free of Brittany's lips, "It is."
"But I thought-"
"Lucy, the whole story of Peter Pan is about make-believe." Brittany sits down fully on the ground, crossing her legs and still holding onto Lucy's hands. "That's the whole point, all their adventures in the Mermaid's Lagoon or the Neverwood Forest or on the Pirate Ship? Haven't you seen the ending? Their adventures in Never Land aren't real, not for the parents at least, when they get home from their party. But Wendy thinks it's real. Maybe she dreamed it while she slept, maybe she imagined it while sitting in the window waiting for her parents to come home, or maybe she made it up as she told stories to her brothers until they fell asleep. But that's what the magic of it is. It doesn't matter that it isn't real, she believed it was real, so it was."
Kelsey starts calling to them from the other side of the basement. Brittany ignores her sister, still focused on Lucy. "See Lucy? Just leave the world behind, imagine anything you want, and when you play pretend, you can have it." She squeezes Lucy' hands one last time before letting go and turning to go after her sister.
"Thank you," Lucy whispers. Brittany didn't mean to, but she's given Lucy a gift. She's given Lucy a gift she'll never lose. Because that's what she needs. She can be good and proper, doing everything her mother wants, but maybe playing pretend, learning to let her mind wander? That's what she needs. And Brittany's given her that.
