-Blame Amanda, and me getting high off of paint fumes.


Edward Says


It seemed to Roy Mustang that no matter what, Edward Elric absolutely had to make a contest out of everything. Normally, it was something such as retorts or snide remarks, challenging him in getting one up on the other. Edward often came up with things that proved he was in fact, childish. For example, on this day, he wanted to play an easy game. Trivial and seemingly simple as it was, a game of Simon Says, or in this case, Edward Says, seemed to be quite audacious, considering they had been assigned to paint the office which was in dire need of a fresh coat and color. He insisted it was for pure fun and to pass the time, though with the look in his eye, it was quite obvious there was a warmongering stirring within the boy.

At the beginning, it was very simple.

"Edward says to put your brush down and touch your nose and blink three times."
"Edward says to stand on your left leg and jump up and down."
"Edward says to pat your stomach and rub your head."
"Edward says to lick your elbow."
"Hey, Fullmetal, Fuck you."
"Edward says to shut up and listen." Ed said, snorting in laughter at the Colonel who actually attempted to lick his elbow.

"Edward says to touch your tongue to your nose."
"Fullmetal, this is pointless."
"Edward says to pick your brush back up," Ed said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Edward says to paint a line approximately three feet to my left and move the brush upwards, keeping it straight."
Roy eyed the boy. Now why was he giving direct orders of what way to paint? There was obviously something bubbling inside the blondes head, and it disturbed him.
"Edward says to bring the brush downwards about two feet to the right from stroke you just made, yeah, right there, and start curving it in a little bit."
Ed was now standing behind him, pointing and continuing to give direction to the older man. His hands were moving in casual gestures and pointing to certain spots on the wall. His brow was furrowed in thought, and was evidently taking this very seriously. He shook it off and could only assume it was something with no manifest product, just something that had been conjured up by the adolescent.

Two hours later, it was finally stated, "Edward says stop, step back, and look at…our work."
At this point, the eldest Elric had stepped backward, with a devilish grin on his face, and was carefully watching the Colonel's expression go from apparent ennui, to obvious horror.

"How in the FUCK—"
"Let's just say, I have quite the imagination, and from what I gather, I believe it's reasonably accurate." The blonde said, with a wink.

"I want to KNOW how you managed to be able to instruct someone else to paint a NUDE portrait of ME onto the wall…AND HOW WOULD YOU EVEN FIND OUT THAT—"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"