A/N: Since I had some extra time on my hands I winged out a chapter two for you.
I do not own Mai HiME or Mai Otome.
Chapter 1: Hidden Power: Part 1
If you would have told me as a child that I would be a woman of great power, or a teen able to summon some type of power at all, I'd have thought you odd. Now I know that was the truth. However even the things foretold in the best of intentions can hold dark things unknown for many. It was a power, but, great was in the eyes of the beholder. Great in ideal that it could destroy many things, or, great in the ability to be commanding are things humans often want, yet seldom need.
To be strong is something more than wielding guns, or a robot dog. I know that now. Back as a child I saw it as a burden, my curse. I also viewed the curse as my way to make my revenge possible. While I hated the power surely because of the responsibilities, it was the power that enabled me. The same could be true for the others, though the reasons differed. We hated it, but, it was with it that we could be who we were.
To kill hundreds of people on a whim was a power so deep that it could corrupt the soul. To fly into outer space was something very few could even imagine let alone be capable of. Those were only a few powers, these were only a few sins caused by our abilities. That's just the problem. Our power granted us abilities we could use, but, as a result we paid a price mentally. We broke down, some of us worse than others. Great power indeed. It was influential, but, to this day what the HiME could better be called was doomed.
We were the devil's advocate. What else could we be called? We deceived each other. We fought each other both in fear and in malice. In the end, we split apart in the fight. I remember it like it was yesterday. The gems, it was the star, perhaps even worse than any star could ever be. By running form our fate we damned ourselves into another HiME battle worse than anything we'd ever had known. This time though, the power didn't end after killing our child. No, this time the blood was from each other, the carnage capable of destroying the ones we loved through the power the gems held.
Nowadays we call this a contract, we know the power and the sins it can cause. Back then though…back then we had no idea. We had no clue the devastation. The person, who figured it out last, is the one who in the end saved us all. The real story of what happened is locked within only a few gems. The knowledge trapped within only a few pairs of eyes. Some are still alive from the events, some never fully died. Today I sit here at my desk, a girl who looks like me, yet clearly not me, is sitting in my office. She is alive even if she was thought to be dead. She should have been killed. Why is she here now?
"Nina… you should have known better than this." I sighed as I sat in my chair. Her eyes were downcast. She was a part of a war before, she is older now, and her life has proven meaning. Her return has granted me a problem and it seems like I should correct it. She lived. However the hell that happened I'll never know. Is it a miracle, or a curse to tell me that she will become me? She looks like me; she has that same brazen attitude. Other Otome students also look like younger counterparts of what we used to be.
I can tell that this won't end well. Her eyes state she saw something she shouldn't have. I can only fear the worst now as she plays idly with her hands. She's pretending. Funny, isn't it? She became an Otome, she fought with such strong power, yet, she should be dead. Like me, she still stands. The others that own a resemblance to us may also be our new incarnations. This will rise questions from past ashes long gone, but, now in her eyes I see worry, I see confusion.
"Were you my mom?" She asks me. She had someone raise her. A man that has a striking resemblance to a man of my past, idiot though he was back then. We all have seemed to live and grow, why should this child not be mine? Why shouldn't a child who looks like me, talks like me, and over all reacts like me…why shouldn't she be me, or at least my child? I don't remember giving birth to her, I am sure she had a different mother, but, that doesn't mean a thing.
We all had parents in the past too, even if they didn't have powers, we did. This girl is skilled, almost too skilled to be some girl who merely wishes to serve a master. She's too independent, like me, too self involved. She's a mirror of my inner child. So, I could be her mother. Perhaps not by blood, or by legality. "I do not know Nina. I do know you should be dead by what all the records state, yet here you are before me. What did you see to make you ask that question?"
The power of an Otome incarnation is one that is complex. That was something we never could understand. It's an added power, one that only the true HiME bloodline allows for. If one isn't from the HiME bloodline, they function as an artificial one would do, they would be granted power, but, not the full effects. We still don't know how, or why, all we know is that a birth like this happens. Perhaps we aren't meant to know, but really, it won't matter. We couldn't stop fate before, and, we can't stop it now. I hate saying that aloud though.
"I think I did die. I felt dead." She looked about to cry. She didn't seem to have her normal smart ass attitude that would fight back. "But, I saw a dream. A woman like me, she looked like you. Next thing I know, I'm awake, although I was hurt pretty badly. I just want to know. Please. Are you my real mom?" She looked me in the eyes with, what was that look? Fear? Utter hate? I'd never be able to explain it. The emotions behind her eyes were too mixed up. Her voice was too hard to read. Yes, indeed she is too much like me.
"Do you have a place to stay?" I asked. I needed a subject change quickly. I needed to do all I could for her. A few years didn't make a difference for me. I know that now. I've had a long time to reflect, why should this girl, still a teen herself, be any different? She shook her head but the fire returned. The anger of being evaded a question she demanded an answer too. Yes, again, too much like me. "Stay with me then." I spoke with finality. Shizuru would be displeased with my choice. I still act on emotions too quickly, but, if Nina and I are connected in more ways than I care to admit, I have to be there.
I have to be the mother that my incarnations seem to lack. "If you are indeed my child, I do not know. You and I are in the same boat. I will not answer a question I don't know the full answer for. I can't promise you I'll ever know fully, and I don't think conventional methods will give you a means to an end. You'll need to decide for yourself what that answer is."
"And how, pray tell, do you want me to do that?" Her voice became sarcastic. A wall for protection I take no offense too. I am an expert in it after all. Even after all of this time, I still have one up on occasion. Actually, I'm surprised I'm as open as I am right now. I feel like yelling, but I settle on pity for the girl instead. I was in her place once too after all. Plus, if she really is my child, do I not also have a right to such information?
"You'll stay with me. Shizuru and I will explain. There are things you haven't been taught about the gem you used to wear. Then again, before you made such a claim, before I knew you were still alive, it wouldn't have mattered. Now you ask me if you're my child. I don't know, but, I can give you the answers to make your own choice." In the back of my mind I knew the answers would never be concrete. We would never truly know, would we? So why was I being so nice. Do I really care for her so much? Or am I just trying to fill a void I knew my own soul still lacks?
"If I am you're mother Nina, if that is the assumption you choose to make, realize I am a lesbian. Shizuru will be a second mother too you and as a result, if someone comes along asking her the same thing you've asked me, you may end up with a sister one day. We will be a family if you come to the view of such. As a result, I want to know now, can you handle that? I'm not a maternal person; I've no idea how to be motherly. If you choose to even find out, if you choose to pursue this choice will you stick with it, or cast us aside if it gets to be too hard?"
I don't think I've ever been so fearful of a response in my life. Even looking Shizuru in the eyes wasn't this hard. Would she reject the idea on the spot? If so then should I really care? She's not mine out of memory. I shouldn't be so fearful, but, then again, if she is my daughter how do I even act as her mother. Mine had left me long ago, she never really knew of hers. In the end, how would a mother do and act? I'm slightly boyish in my actions, I like to be a woman, don't get me wrong, but, I'm not exactly the picture of womanly elegance like Shizuru. Would I even have the maternal instinct to care about Nina the way a mother should? I can't say. I have no idea.
Then why did I make such an offer? Why the hell do I even care about her so much? She's a teen; she can take care of herself like I did. I know that in my mind. Logic tells me this. I did after all. In my heart, something pulls me. It's no way to live. It's no way to go on with life. Thinking you're mother hated you, used you, left you cast aside. That's no way to even continue to breathe let alone move forward in your life. I guess that was why I cared. I knew that, I had gone through that pain. I had lost that faith. I guess in the end, that's why I wanted to tell her. That was why I wanted to teacher her. Why I wanted to show her the real truth behind the gems.
That was why she was coming home with me tonight. Family. It's a word I can't explain well, and yet, here I am trying to piece one together for no real logical reason at all. I'm still just a child I guess. I still want to believe in such crap as family, love, and care. Have I sunk that low? I should be an adult, and yet…the look in her eyes. I guess she wants to know what she saw, just as I want to know what it is to have a real family. She and I aren't really that different. Perhaps that's all the proof I'd ever need that I could have been, or perhaps even am, her mother.
TBC~
Another chapter for you all, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave me a review to let me know how I am doing.
