Sam sat at the kitchen table, distractedly surfing the web for a case and drinking a green juice. Dean walked in. His he was disheveled (a feat for someone with such short hair) and his eyes were red. Sam watched with a smirk as his haggard brother plopped himself on the chair across from him.

"So?"

Dean sighed and massaged his forehead.

"He came to my room, alright. He leaned on my desk and stared at me all night. I had to pretend to be asleep all night." He crossed his arms on the table and nest his head on top.

"Did you talk to him?"

Dean shook his head without lifting it.

"Dean, you're going to have to say something."

The man raised his head.

"Are you crazy? I can't just say something. What would I say anyway?"

"How about, why are you staring at me while I sleep?"

"Ha! Right. No. I will put wards on my walls. That should take care of the problem."

"What problem?"

The brothers turned to the door where Castiel was standing, looking as fresh as always. The Winchesters looked at each other.

"Nothing. Just a… my back. It's been bothering me since we came back." Dean stood up and stretched, his hands resting on his lower back.

"I can restore your back, Dean."

Dean gave a forced laugh.

"Oh, no no no. I'm actually feeling better. Much better, in fact. You two can…" Dean threw Sam a desperate glance. Sam smiled. Dean glared at him. "Anyway. See you later Cas."

Dean walked past Castiel, his eyes averting the angel's. Sam smiled at Castiel awkwardly and resumed his internet search with all his focus this time.

He had waited in the reading room until he had sensed that both of the boys had fallen asleep. He had waited in the dark with a mix of dread and anticipation. He looked at the clock. 2am. Silently, he got up and walked to Dean's room. He sensed it even before his hand touched the doorknob. Wards. And not your layman's kind. This was pretty powerful magic. His palms tingled as he lay his palms flat on the door. His heart sank. Somehow, Dean had found out.

Castiel back away from the door and leaned against the wall. Slowly, he slid against the cold concrete and sat down, his knees close to his chest. His head hung between his knees, his hand folded on the nape of his neck. Of course Dean had found out. That's what they did, find things out. And there was nothing he could do about it. He just couldn't walk up to Dean and ask him why he had set up wards. That would be giving himself away, plainly admitting his guilt by putting it into words. The pain in his chest intensified and his eyes burned. He didn't like these sensations. They had come with the gift. Human feelings. He had felt something similar after the fall, but never as strong as this. This was excruciating. This was unbearable.

Sam sat in the reading room, his laptop playing a video feed in a loop. Cas had gone out on an errand and Dean was in the shower. It had been three days since Dean had set up the wards. Each night, Castiel had waited in this very seat before walking to Dean's door, touching it and sitting across the hall until sunrise. Each night, he had looked more desperate, his face contorted as if in pain. Sam knew Castiel experienced some sort of feeling, but he had never seen him like this. At least not while he was himself. It just made any sense. It was as if… As if… Sam shook his head.

"Impossible"

"What's impossible?" asked Dean.

Sam looked up. Dean was wrapped in a towel, his hair still wet.

"Nothing." replied Sam. "But you should look at this."

Catiel stood in front of the door of the apartment. The neighborhood was clean, nondescript. The perfect place to disappear. He shouldn't have come. It was a mistake. He made to turn away when the door suddenly opened before him, revealing Mary Winchester. She gasped.

"Castiel. What are you doing here? Are the boys ok?"

"They are fine."

Relief.

"How did you find me?"

"I'm an angel." he said, matter of factly.

She laughed.

"Of course. Then why are you here?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. This was a mistake."

He turned to go. She grabbed his arm.

"This is about Dean, isn't it?"

Castiel faced her anew. How…? She smiled at him softly.

"Call it a mother's intuition. Come in."

The ball of anxiety in Castiel's stomach grew heavier.