A Confession As True As Love

The spring air was lovely today. Something about a warm breeze sent tingles up my spine and tickled my skin. I took in a deep breath of the beautiful spring day, enjoying the scent of the roses in the bed bordering the sidewalk. I gazed at the trees swaying slightly to and fro in time with the flowers.

"It's such a lovely day, don't you think?" I asked Rosaline, who was clinging to my arm during our afternoon stroll.

"I've never known a boy your age so interested in the weather Damien." She commented.

"I'm just…attempting to make polite conversation." I said. "Are you not enjoying the weather?"

She fanned herself under her umbrella that threatened to attack me in the eye every time we took a step. "It's much too warm."

"If you think it's warm now, wait until this summer." I joked. I chuckled to myself and looked at Rosaline's expression; it was as cold as ice, absolutely no expression on her face what so ever. I stopped my foolish chuckling and kept my thoughts my own. She was a proper debutante, I gave her that much. There really wasn't anything appealing about her; she was spoiled, snobby, and downright…distasteful. My father couldn't pick a suitable fiancée if she actually presented herself with a ring and a sign bearing "Suitable Wife". This was going to be a miserable lifetime but I had no choice in the matter anymore than I did when she showed up in my sitting room with her dreadful mother.

I saw a small food cart in the park and led Rosaline over to it. I gave the vendor some money for two apples and handed one to Rosaline. We sat together on a park bench and chewed on our apples. Rosaline was not providing much conversation so I gazed out at the park in front of us. I saw families playing ball together, kicking it back and forth, and laughing. I missed those days with my parents; when I looked forward to going to the park with them and spending all day with them. I sighed internally and then out of the corner of my eye, I found someone very familiar. It was Jack Twist.

Jack was dressed in his casual trousers, the same type he wore to school every day. His shirt had a low collar and his chest straps were a charming red color. He was accompanied by a giant sheepdog. In his hand, Jack held something small and round in his hand as he pet the floppy eared mongrel. He tossed the object away from the dog and the dog obediently followed it. Jack clapped his hands while he waited for the creature to return the ball to him. When the dog trotted back, Jack took the slippery ball out of the dog's mouth and praised it with hugs and kisses.

The whole thing was so adorable to watch; Jack was so happy with that fluffy creature and it was obvious that the dog felt for him the same. I looked over at Rosaline who was gently nibbling at her apple. At this point, I had two options; stay and please the fiancée I didn't sign up for, or play with my best friend.

"Rosaline, would you excuse me? I forgot I had made plans today. I left the wagon where we entered the park. Allow me to escort you there and you may drive home for the afternoon."

She sighed. "Fine." I took her hand and escorted her back to the wagon. I kissed her cheek and wished her a good day. The moment she left, I raced back to where Jack was still playing fetch with his dog. I huffed and puffed when I finally reached him. Jack looked up at me, startled to find me running in the park towards him.

"Damien? Why are you out of breath?" Jack asked me, standing up to face me.

"I…was…just…jogging." I lied.

"Damien, are you sure that's what you were doing?" Jack asked me.

"You're seeing right through me aren't you?" I smiled.

"Actually I saw you with…your fiancée. I've been watching you watching me." Jack smiled. Blood rushed to his cheeks, illuminating his face. He was a good blusher.

"What? What makes you think that?…I wasn't watching you. I just noticed that you were here." I tried so hard to think of something better than that but I couldn't.

"Damien, come on." Jack said.

"Okay fine so I'm transparent and a bad liar. I was watching you. What's the big deal?" I could feel my cheeks getting warmer and I turned away from Jack.

"No big deal. I already told you that I was watching you too. You seemed really disappointed."

I sighed. "I have nothing in common with this girl. I don't understand why my father thinks she would be a good wife. I can't see this being a good idea." I sat down on the grass Indian-style folding my hands in my lap.

Jack sat down next to me. "Then why can't you tell your father that you changed your mind? That you can't do this?"

"I can't tell my father anything. He doesn't understand me. I think all he cares about is being wealthy again."

"And that's not what you want."

"Of course it isn't. I don't care about being wealthy again. I just don't want to marry someone that I don't love. But I can't disappoint my father and I have no choice."

Jack sighed. "It seems rather unfair Damien."

I snorted. "You have no idea Jack." I shoved my shoulder into his and smiled at him. He returned my smile, sending warm feelings all around me. Jack was a great person to talk to. No matter what it was, Jack could always cheer me up and make me feel special. No one made me feel the way Jack did; he was my best friend and the best man I ever met. Jack invited me to meet his dog Max. Max seemed friendly with me, almost as if he trusted me too. The three of us played in the park until the afternoon transformed into early evening.

"I have to go now Jack." I suddenly said, rising from my knees while Max heavily protested.

"Must you go now Damien? We were having so much fun together." Jack whined.

"I know, I almost don't want it to end. But alas, my parents will be very worried if I am not home before dark. And then I will earn a sound lashing for leaving my "fiancée" in a lurch." I said fiancée with a certain distaste; I don't think I would ever warm up to the idea that she will stand opposite of me on the altar.

"Well maybe we could meet tomorrow evening." Jack suggested. "The creek behind the school house is very secluded and private. Your father won't be able to bother us there."

I smiled warmly. "Sure thing. I'll sneak down after dinner tomorrow night. Meet me at the school house and we'll make a run for the creek."

"Sounds like a….a good idea." Jack said. He grew uncomfortable and allowed his eyes to wander to the ground. He folded his hands behind his back and blushed as red as the roses.

"See you tomorrow night Jack." I said, turning to leave the park.

"See you tomorrow Damien." That night, I lay in bed and relived my day with Jack. We were so care free; I wished every day could be like that.

During afternoon tea, Father informed me that I would have no need to escort Rosaline today; she and her mother were going on a trip to the nearest village to plan the ceremony. I couldn't care less about the reason; all I knew was that I was going to be able to see Jack after all tonight. My palms grew sweaty and my stomach turned; why did I feel that way? Jack. And I think I knew why.

Drisella commented on my odd behavior after dinner in the kitchen that night. "You seem jumpy tonight boy. Is there something troublin you?" She had asked, scrubbing away the leftovers of our meal.

"No Drisella. In fact, I feel prodigious."

"You feel what boy? Speak English a'fore I keel hall ya into the river." She warned.

"It means to feel wonderful, spectacular, good. I'm meeting a friend tonight for a…time to…you know….spend time with…with a friend." I struggled with that sentence. If I had said anything remotely resembling the "d" word, I would be strung up by my britches and tried for witchcraft and blasphemy.

"Have a good time Damien. You come in late though, ya Pa gave me permission to spank ya. So don't make me do it."

"Alright Drisella. I shall return before the moon is full, I promise." I grabbed my satchel and snuck outside. Mother and Father had gone to bed for the night and did not notice my absence. I hustled for the school house and found Jack, sitting anxiously by our tree. When he saw me coming down the road, he jumped from his spot and ran to meet me. He seemed unsure of what to do so he shook my hand and led me behind the school house. There nested a narrow path leading down the creek. We walked down the path, silent as the grave. Neither one of us knew what to say to one another nor did we know what we were doing.

The rumbling of the creek rang crystal clear in my ear. Without thinking, I grabbed Jack's hand and ran with him down to the mouth of the creek. I stopped and gazed at the black waters, the peaceful serenity overwhelmed me. I took in a deep breath of the night air, breathing in the scent of the oak trees and rushing water. Jack cleared his throat and that is when I noticed that I was still holding his hand. I laughed nervously and dropped his hand, bringing mine to the back of my head. I couldn't believe I did that but I could've sworn that Jack was blushing in the moonlight.

"Come on Jack. Let's get in the water." I encouraged.

"But, I can't swim." Jack admitted.

I laughed. "That's okay Jack. See? The water is far too shallow; you'll be able to stand in the water. Come on silly." I took his hand and pulled him into the creek. He looked like he wanted to scream but we both knew if they heard us, we would be done for. Jack lifted the bottoms of his trousers, to keep them from getting wet, and he slowly made his way into the creek still holding my hand. When he finally made it into the water, he didn't let go of my hand nor did I want him to. Jack tripped over a rock but I caught him and held him up. He looked up into my eyes and we just held each other for a moment.

Jack blushed even more than before. He looked down at his hands resting on my shoulders. "Thanks Damien."

"N..no problem." I cleared my throat and separated us. "Come on, let's go further up the creek. We can catch some fish." I led Jack up the creek a ways and searched for fish under the glossy waves of the creek running passed us. I pointed one out to Jack and tried to catch it with my hands. I made a huge splash and came out empty handed. I looked over at Jack and saw that he had taken the crossfire of my attack on the fish.

Jack smiled and splashed me right back, soaking the front of my shirt. I wasn't going to take that sitting down; we started a splashing battle. Every time he splashed me, I came right back with full force sending huge splashes his way. We were both soaked from head to toe by the time Jack held his hands up in surrender. Jack was the first to leave the water, shaking off his shirt and taking his overall straps off of his shoulders in the process.

I rung out my own shirt and sat down next to a tree. Jack found me and sat down next to me. I felt around the ground for where I put my satchel down. When I finally found it, I set it in my lap and dug around for the leftover rolls Drisella made for dinner tonight. I offered one to Jack and he took it gratefully. We ate our bread in silence; I talk to Jack on a regular basis, why do I find myself unable to find something to talk about when we are all alone?

"I'm really glad we decided to do this." Jack said. "I can't remember the last time I had this much fun."

I smiled. "I only have this much fun with you." I blurted out.

"What do you mean Damien?"

"Well, you already know that I have a fiancée who is cold as ice. I don't have much fun with either of my parents anymore either. You're the only one I can turn to and I feel like I can tell you anything."

"I feel the same way Damien. My father died when I was a little kid. It's been just me and my mother and she's too depressed to even ask if there is something I want to do."

"I'm sorry to hear about your father Jack." I said.

"Thanks Damien. You know, you're the first person I ever told that to. You must be pretty special." Jack winked at me. I don't know what overcame me but I ignored the sweating of my palms and the butterflies in my stomach.

"Jack, I think I know why I can't get along with my fiancée."

"Besides the fact that she's a cold fish?" Jack teased, taking another bite of bread.

"Jack, the truth is that I'm attracted to someone else. I think it may even go beyond attraction, in fact I'm certain of it. I'm in love with someone else."

"Then why don't you tell your father that you're in love with someone else? It sounds really simple Damien." Jack said.

"Because…everyone in town knows my family and if they found out who I was in love with, I would be tried for sin against God and God only knows what else."

Understanding was starting to creep its way onto Jack's face but he asked anyway, "Damien, are you…?"

"Yes. I'm attracted to boys. I think deep down I've known all along but I've kept it in for so long and I've never told anyone before."

"Damien," Jack took a deep breath and continued. "I am too."

"You are?" I asked with disbelief. "But what about the time you dated Sarah Ballard? She really liked you."

"I only went out with her because I didn't know how to say no. But I never felt anything for her. I felt horrible for breaking up with her but I couldn't take it any longer. And besides, there was someone else I was in love with."

"Oh." I should've known.

"Damien, it's you."

I looked up at Jack's face. There wasn't a sign of mockery or counterfeit; he was sincere and serious. "Jack, are you…really in love with me?"

"Of course I am Damien. You're smart, caring, kind, warm, gentle, and you were the first real friend I've had since my mother and I moved here." He smiled warmly at me, taking my hand in his. But then he suddenly let go and dropped his head. "I feel silly for confessing this to you when you said you've already fallen for someone else but I'm glad I told you about me liking men."

"Jack. The one I love is you too." I confessed.

Jack's head snapped up and hope filled his eyes. "You're..you're just saying that."

"No Jack. I mean it. You're the one I think of when I open my eyes in the morning and the one I think of when I close my eyes in the evening. When I'm around you, I get nervous, my palms sweat, and there are butterflies in my stomach. You're sweet, gentle, and so full of life. You brighten every room you walk into and you always put a smile on my face. I'm in love with you Jack Twist."

Tears spilled from his eyes and he threw himself into my embrace. I kissed his hair and held him close to me. This is what I wanted for so long. His very touch sent shivers up my spine and filled my whole body with warmth I have never experienced with anyone else. Fear replaced my happiness in an instant as the reality of my love for Jack set in; what we were doing was seen as a sin by everyone in town, Jack and I could never be together. Jack pulled away from me and confirmed my fears.

"Damien, what are we going to do? We can't be together; we'll be burned at the stake!" Jack's tears of joy were replaced by tears of fear and horror. I wiped the tears from his eyes.

"We'll find a way."

"Damien, I want to be with you, I honestly do. But you have a fiancée, you're to be married after school ends and then what will we do?"

I gently grabbed his shoulders, trying so desperately to make him understand that my love was not fleeting; that I would love him with all of my being and do anything to keep us together. "Jack listen to me. We will find a way to be together. You know that Rosaline means absolutely nothing to me. I won't let society separate us because they don't know true love and true happiness. Please don't push me away Jack, please say you'll be with me."

Jack gave in and laid his head on my shoulder once more. I cried into his hair with happiness. "I love you Damien Maslin." He muffled into my shirt. "I'll stay with you no matter what."

"I love you too." I lifted his head to look at me, closed my eyes, and leaned closer to him. Our lips with some hesitancy but we succumbed to our feelings and melted into our first kiss. Jack's hands cradled my face while I ran my fingers through his hair around the back of his neck. Our lips molded together in ways that defy all description. My breath came faster and faster but I wanted more. We broke the kiss and tried to catch our breath. We pressed our foreheads together and stayed there for a moment.

"I know I already asked this but what do we do now Damien? We can't deny what we have together so how do we move on from here?" He unfolded himself from me and leaned against the tree, gazing at the stars. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder.

"We'll take it day by day. And one day, we'll move North together, to a place where our love will be accepted. I don't want to leave your side; I want to be with you forever and ever. If we have to, we'll meet every night here, in our spot, where no one will bother us and we can be together."

"You really think that will work? What if we get found out before we can move away?"

"I believe it has to work. Our love is strong Jack, that much is evident. Do you believe our love is strong?"

"Yes." Jack whispered.

"Then we'll be okay. So long as we're together, what can possibly go wrong?"