Itachi pulls away first because he feels like he should, not because he wants to. He knows Sasuke understands because he grins hugely up at his brother.
"I'm going to go clean my kunai!" Sasuke announces. He gives Itachi a quick squeeze before racing up the stairs.
Itachi stops smiling as soon as Sasuke is gone. And his features slide back into a familiar grimace. He's already making plans to leave. And he knows it's foolish, but he wants to spend his last days in Konoha with Sasuke.
Itachi has calculated what will happen this upcoming weekend.
They'll go training. Sasuke will try his hardest to impress Itachi, who will shower him with praise in hopes that it will make up for all the praise he doesn't get from their parents.
And then the two brothers will sit together, relaxing.
Sasuke will take a nap because Itachi tells him to, and Itachi will watch him sleep. Watch his chest rise and fall steadily. And he will gently push back the black locks that are trademark of the Uchiha clan. And he will…He will kiss his brother. On the lips.
And then he will wake Sasuke up and they will do it again. And again and again. And Sasuke will do it willingly, too.
This is what Itachi imagines. And this is what will happen because Itachi wills it.
But what Itachi does not foresee is the choking sensation, the tightening in his chest that feels like love. But Itachi does not know what love is, so to him it will only hurt.
And Itachi does not cry, just as he does not love. Because he doesn't know how.
And Itachi can't bring himself to say the words goodbye aloud. Because it will make him feel that sensation that he doesn't understand.
Itachi knows he can only move forward, can only grow stronger and faster and be great. But Itachi sometimes thinks he'd rather have the ability to do the former.
He hopes that Sasuke will understands, but feels that choking sensation again ( he will later identify this as regret) because Itachi knows with deadly certainty that Sasuke won't.
Because all of the things that Itachi loves about Sasuke and what Sasuke so admires about Itachi is what will forever separate them.
Sasuke is not Itachi. He does not see the bigger picture. That Itachi can't stay and be the fun loving brother that Sasuke wants him to be. That Itachi can't change his destiny to become a dangerous ninja. That Itachi would rather sacrifice his future in hopes that Sasuke can have the freedom to be Sasuke. Itachi will be all the things he does not want to be so that Sasuke can be whatever he wants. That Itachi will always love Sasuke, even when it seems otherwise. And even if Itachi's love isn't enough for Sasuke, Sasuke will always be enough for Itachi. Always. And that, Itachi thinks, is all that matters.
~Fin