Part II – Chaos and Despair

Bart Allen could handle anything. The Teen Titans who had babysat before had nothing but wonderful things to say about the Kent twins, even aside from the fact that their father was Superman. Bart had even sort of hung around with Jonathan once, at the Kent Farm in Smallville. Cool kid. His palms were sweating, and he didn't know why. His first instinct was to run, but his finger pressed the button for the doorbell on it's own. The door swung open and Bart found himself face to face with Bruce Wayne, his harshest critic, next to Uncle Wally, of course.

"Good, you're here." Bruce said, opening the door wider so Bart could pass.

"Yeah, did you think I couldn't find the place?" Bart asked nonchalantly. "KIDS!" He knelt and swept both Kent twins into a hug. "How are you guys?"

"Hi, Unca Bart." Jonathan said, and Lara patted his cheek sweetly. "Luv Unca Bart."

"Are we going to have fun tonight or what? I have all kinds of games planned. We can play hide and seek, and have races…" Bart looked up at the twins mother, who was tapping her elegantly shod foot. "Um, we'll tell quiet, calm bedtime stories and no snacks without brushing your teeth after."

"Exactly right." Chloe said, as Clark and Lois came from the kitchen, arguing about an article that Lois was working on. "Clark, Bart's here."

"Bart." Clark nodded. "You have one mission tonight. Keep my kids safe and out of trouble. That's it. Think you can handle it?" He folded his arms over his chest. "We're only ten minutes away at the Metropolis Plaza Ballroom."

"Piece of cake, Big Blue, don't sweat it." Bart spun the children around, producing chimes of giggles. "It's all good."

"Bart, I expect this to go well." Bruce warned. "Try and control yourself. Don't live up to your name tonight if you can help it."

"Geez, Bats, it's two four year olds. What's the worst that could happen?" Bart set the kids down. "You all just go and have a good time."

"Okay, but remember, ten minutes away, less if I run." Chloe said, and Bart nodded, patting her on the shoulder gently. She turned and looked at Clark. "You know, maybe it's not too late, we can not go…"

"Chloe." Clark put his hands on her shoulders. "Tonight, Lois Lane is getting recognized for her expose of the organized crime syndicate here in Metropolis. This is huge. The next step is a Pulitzer. How would you feel if you weren't there to accept it?" Clark looked down into his wife's face and smiled. "I had to rescue you off the top of the Metropolis State Building the night you first started following that story."

"I remember." Chloe took one of Clark's hands in her own and pressed her cheek against it. "I really thought I was done with and then everything was okay, because of you.…" Chloe sighed and looked up into Clark's eyes. "I thought you were mad at me…"

"Never." Clark grinned, leaning in to kiss his wife. A quick, sharp clearing of a throat broke the mood, and Lois shook her head.

"I'm ready." Lois interjected, taking Bruce's arm. "We pass the Metropolis State Builidng on the way. You guys can reminisce more there." She grinned at her husband. "I'm so glad you never saved me from anything."

"Right." Bruce laughed, winking at Clark. "Good thing. We'll go ring for the elevator."

"Are you sure you'll be okay? The twins can be hard to handle, but if you stay one step ahead of them, you should be alright." Chloe turned to Bart. "Jonathan has a stuffed toy he liked to sleep with, and Lara needs her nightlight. No sugar, please. It's late enough and if they have even one grain…"

"Chloe, sugar doesn't affect them." Clark said, towing her out the door. "Night, Bart. See you when you get back, and don't forget, if you need help, call."

"Will do!" Bart waved as the door closed behind Clark and Chloe and he turned looking for the children, who had mysteriously vanished. "One step ahead, my eye. I'm going to need a mile head start.. Here, kiddie, kiddie…" A squeal of giggles gave Bart his first clue. Heading off up the stairs, he wondered why anyone would make such a big deal about watching two little kids.

"But you gotta put me through!" Bart wailed into the JLA communicator three hours later. "J'onn, this is life and death." The Kent twins had drained the super fast teen of nearly all of his powers. Eating hadn't helped because he didn't actually get to eat anything he'd made. Everything had been appropriated by four little hands and the cry "Me too! Share with us, Unca Bart!" Now, they were being sick in the bathroom, and Bart cursed the little tidbit of info that had been left out of Garth's helpful advice. Kryptonian/Human children vomited. A LOT. Especially after a gallon of ice cream.

"I'm aware of your care taking arrangements with the Kents this evening, Bart. I didn't feel that Clark would mind if I kept an eye out from here." J'onn J'honz looked at the monitor. The Kent home was ashambles. "Human children should not be subjected to the amount of ice cream you fed them. I believe it might even be toxic for them."

"Toxic? For them?" Bart looked around. Chocolate syrup, strawberry sauce, whipped cream, sprinkles and melted ice cream marred the almost pristine cleanliness of the Kent kitchen. The sound of retching from the bathroom, followed by sobs meant that Lara was done being sick and that Jonathan's turn had come. "I'll never look at a hot fudge sundae again, I swear."

"I WANT MY MOMMY!!" Lara screamed, sitting down in a puddle of unidentifiable mush that Bart hoped was ice cream. "I WANT MY DADDY!"

"I'll see if I can find Karen. She may be able to help. J'honz out." Jonathan had stopped throwing up and added his wails to his sisters clinging to her for dear life.

"No, no…J'onn! Don't hang up!!" Bart cried, as the JLA com beeped again. "Karen?"

"No, Bart, it's Clark. Everything okay? Is Karen alright?" Clark asked, away from the party. He'd gotten his award, danced with his wife and shook hands with half the big wigs in Metropolis. Not even Chloe could fault him for going home now, if Bart needed the help.

"Oh, we're all fine." Bart singsonged. "Right kids?" He held the communicator away and cheered in a small voice. "YAY!" Then he brought the communicator back. "See, right as rain."

"Okay." Clark frowned. "You were waiting for Karen?"

"To ask her which bedtime story she likes to read them. We've read through half the books in the twin's room and none of them seem to be doing the trick." Bart lied, hoping that Superman didn't have a built in voice lie detector. Because that would be bad. "I like 'Stinky Cheese Man' myself, but the kids weren't buying it."

"Heh, 'Stinky Cheese Man.'" Clark laughed. "Try reading them something else. And not 'Three Little Pigs'. The Question had the kids up in arms about the timber and brick lobby, as well as the treatment of pigs before they are slaughtered. Not a good thing. I know…sit them down and put on 'Babe'. It never fails to put Jonathan to sleep."

"Yeah, sure." Bart nodded, seeing light at the end of the tunnel. "Pig movie, got it."

"Babe" lasted until the piglet was separated from it's mother. The resulting wailing from both twins caused Karen Starke to appear on the deck, impatient and annoyed. Bart was never so happy to see Powergirl in his life, regardless of the fact that she looked ready to kill him. But right now, Bart would have welcomed death too.

"Hey, brainless." She said, scooping the filthy twins in her arms. "What possessed you to put on a movie where the kid gets taken away from it's mother?" She soothed her tiny cousins and rocked them a little, singing Kryptonian for them. "And what did you do to the place? Clark is going to freak."

"You have to help me." Bart pushed his red hair from his eyes desperately. "Please, Karen. I'm begging you and I'll do anything, I swear."

"Hmm." Karen looked at the two sobbing children in her arms. "Anything?"

"I'm on my knees, woman!" Bart sank to the floor and the Kent twins bounded out of Karen's grip and piled onto Bart with a pleased whoop.

"Westle!!" Lara crowed and Jonathan jumped up and landed on Bart. HARD. The young hero gasped, and then sped around them, enclosing them in his arms.

"There. That should do it. Keep them going until they're good and tired. Then wash them up and put them to bed." Karen wiped at her white uniform and groaned. "And never feed them strawberry sauce again. This will never come out." She turned and made her way back to the terrace. "Stay out of trouble, kids."

"No, Karen, wait…WAIT!!!" Bart called, as Karen lifted off, waving.

"On Patrol. Just stopped by because you called. You're fine, Bart. Just clean up before Clark gets home." She blew kisses to the children, who were clinging to Bart's ankles.

"Unca Bart! Westle!!" Jonathan pulled Bart down, and pinned him to the parquet floor. "I won!"

"NO, I won!" Lara called from the stairs. "Watch me, Unca Bart, I FLEWED!"

Remembering that Lara was not powered, Bart jumped up. "No, baby, please, don't slide down!" He sped over and caught the girl in mid air, making her giggle.

"Unca Bart do it again!!" She laughed, clapping her hands. "Again!"

"No, not again. Never again!" Bart cried to no one. Jonathan had snagged his sister and took off. Bart sighed. "Here, kiddie, kiddie, kiddie!"

"Everything is fine." Clark said, sliding into his seat. "Bart seems to have everything under control."

Bruce raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? I want to find that hard to believe."

"I know." Chloe smiled brightly, relieved. She sighed and held out her hand to her husband. "We're at a party. It's time to dance with your wife."

"Of course." Clark grinned, taking her hand. "Got your boots on?"

"Shut up." Chloe laughed, rising, and settling into Clark's arms easily.

"Shutting up." Clark laughed. "You look amazing tonight, Lois." His voice was teasing, and Chloe blushed.

"Clark.." Chloe grinned. "It is funny, though."

"You'll always be Chloe to me." Clark bent and kissed his wife. "And you look amazing tonight."