Hello again! I'm back! I know it was a bit of a wait…but you know how the holidays are…hehe. Well also I've slowly been working on Family Bonds chapter 15! So I'm very proud to say it's almost finished up! Well just remember to read and review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket...but if Natsuki Takaya is ever interested in selling it...she can look me up the phone book!
Ch.2: No attachments, No regrets
At the main house
Hatori Sohma quietly closed the shoji doors leading to the guestroom beside his work office, the stoic doctor sighed tiredly as he ran a hand through his slightly mussed black hair to straighten it out. "Oh there you are Haa-san! So how is our precious little flower doing? Is she awake?" came a very familiar and annoying voice from behind the doctor, 'for the love of kami cant you just go home now...' Hatori thought with a sweat drop as he turned around to face into his office.
There reclining rather comfortably in the wicker chair beside his desk was Shigure closing a thick medical text book that he had been thumbing through during the wait, 'no doubt just looking through the anatomy section...pervert' the taller man thought as he walked over to his large cluttered desk. "I thought you went to see Akito" Hatori stated flatly as he sat down in his swivel chair and began to straighten folders and papers, Shigure seemed to ignore the statement and he looked over at his friend with a pleasant grin that never quite seemed to reach his eyes "you were in there for quite some time...I was starting to think that you hand kidnapped our young flower and whisked her off to some far away exotic island to elope!" Shigure exclaimed dramatically.
Hatori however was in no mood for such theatrics today, not that he ever was when it came to Shigure. "You know what? Despite the fact that I've known you my entire life it still never ceases to amaze me how much of an idiot you can be at time" the dragon said coolly as he glanced up at the novelist briefly before opening up a small file drawer at his desk and placing his papers inside of it.
Shigure pouted managed a few melodramatic tears that sadly were lost on Hatori as he ignored the dog, "oh Haa-san why must you always be so cruel to me?" Shigure whined which only caused Hatori's mild headache to grow 'kami-sama...does he ever know when to stop? I cant take this today my head is killing me...he needs to go' Hatori thought to himself as he massaged his temples to try and dull the pain. "She was awake for a few minutes but then I gave her some pain medicen to ease the pain in her wrist and ankle. I believe the ankle is merely sprained but I'm afraid her right wrist is broken...but I wrapped them both and put her arm in a sling to prevent to much strain" Hatori said monotonously.
Shigure's brow furrowed slightly as he frowned "oh dear...that sounds bad. Poor Tohru-kun, it sure will be difficult for her around the house...she has so much to do and then work and school on top of that..." Shigure sighed sympathetically as he rested his chin on his hand. Hatori paused slightly before finally looking up from his filing at the man across from him "that's what I wanted to discuss with you Shigure" Hatori said very professionally causing Shigure to sit up in attention "hmm?" the dog of the zodiac replied questioningly. Hatori leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs with his hands folded neatly on his desk "Honda-kun's wounds are not in such condition that they should be taken lightly...and the only way for her to properly heal without complication would be to cut out any strenuous work and have plenty of rest.
However with all of her duties at your house and with the stress of school and other home related things I don't think that it would be in her favor to recuperate in the midst of all that stress" Hatori said calmly and seriously. Shigure raised a curious eyebrow as he leaned back into the chair as if to take in all that his friend had just informed him of "so you're saying that...Tohru-kun shouldn't come back to the house?" Shigure asked Hatori suspiciously. The doctor chose to ignore the tone of voice his friend had chosen to use "yes. Not permanately of course but just for about three weeks until her ankle and wrist are healed a bit more so that it isn't so hard for her to get around. If she were to go home now she could risk injuring herself further or getting sick from to much strain" Hatori said in the same seriousness with just a hint of defensiveness.
"Amah...I see. That would make sense I suppose, my it sure if strange to see you show such concern for someone outside of the family. But I have one question, where on earth would she be staying pray tell if not at my house?" Shigure asked with a cheeky grin as he leaned in towards the desk. Hatori narrowed his eyes and glared at Shigure "You know very well I'm only concerned as a doctor...it's my duty to worry about the health of others and that's all. And don't use that accusatory tone with me Shigure, I'm not you." Hatori retorted as glared down on the novelist.
Shigure grinned goofily and nodded his head "Ok. Ok! I'm sorry Haa-san, you know I didn't mean anything by it" Shigure chuckled lightheartedly. Hatori simply rolled his eyes "and as to her accommodations. She will stay here...at the Sohma estate so that I can keep an eye on her and treat her regularly. It wouldn't be wise for her to stay here in the main house but I'm sure I she would be fine in my guestroom at my house. I'm rarely there so she would have plenty of privacy," Hatori said plainly.
Shigure gave him a perverted smirk "your house? Why Haa-san! You dirty old man!" Shigure teased. Hatori felt a slight blush warm his cheeks "shut up you idiot." he grumbled as he tossed a paper weight at Shigure, only narrowly missing him, "hey! Haa-san you almost hit me!" Shigure gasped in shock "I missed" Hatori said bluntly. Shigure whimpered sadly "by the way where are Kyou and Yuki?" Hatori asked as he looked around noticing for the first time that neither boy was present, Shigure quickly changed back into his normal carefree attitude "oh those two silly boys were moping around here like someone had died! It was most depressing so I told them they should go home and do their homework, after all they do have school tomorrow" Shigure said rather proudly.
Now it was Hatori's turn to quirk an accusing eyebrow at Shigure "and they actually listened to you?" Hatori asked in disbelief, Shigure shrugged and smiled sheepishly "well...not exactly. I simply threatened to call Haa-kun and Kagura-kun and tell them to come over...that seemed to get them moving a little faster" Shigure giggled very pleased with himself. Hatori sweat dropped and shook his head "idiot" he cursed under his breath as he returned to his filling.
At Shigure's house
The two boys had gotten back to the house about an hour ago and neither had spoken at all during the walk home. It wasn't as if they spoke a great deal to each other on a regular basis but today it was different, the silence that had hung between then was not hostile as usual. It was more uncomfortable and awkward than anything else and both boys couldn't really find the strength to look at each other. All either one could think about was the parking lot incident and then the accident and then Tohru…and then that opened the flood gates to a whole river of other thoughts.
By the time they had gotten back to the house each boy nearly sprinted to their respective calming areas, for Yuki it was his secret base and for kyou it was the roof. By now the sun was beginning to dip down into the mountains causing the blue sky to darken and streak with bold magentas and golden oranges. Kyou sat up on the roof with one arm resting on his raised knee looking up at the sky, Kyou's face looked frozen in thought as he tried to sort through the day's events. 'Damn it…I don't understand any of this! Why is this happening to me…I'm not…not gay…but I…it felt so right then…so…so…oh crap why does everything have to be so complicated' Kyou thought with a shaky sigh as he leaned back to lay his back on the chilly roof tiles.
Kyou lifted his hand towards his face and gently ghosted them over his lips as he thought back to his earlier incident with Yuki, 'it was just so…intense…I never…I never felt like that before…so weak, so needy, so vulnerable…I hated it…I hate it…I hate him' Kyou thought as he closed his eyes roughly to stop the onslaught of salty wetness that had been threatening to slip out from his eyes. "Damn him…why do you always have to win? Why do you always have to make me feel so inadequate, so inferior…in school, in fights…. and now this…in this…what ever the hell this thing is that we had today…" Kyou whispered to himself as he reopened his eyes to gaze up at the darkening sky.
'Tohru…she always liked the sunsets…I wonder if she's awake now? I guess her and that mutt should be back soon' Kyou thought with a sigh of relief at the though of Tohru. Tohru, the girl he had so many unknown feelings for, the girl that listened to him and treated him like a human being, the only person…he knew would be able to make him forget this day. The only person who's smile could take away all his problems and worries, that smile that could erase all his worries about Yuki, the kiss, his feelings for Yuki, and his questioning of his own sexuality…all of it could be gone if only she was here.
Kyou was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the creaking of the roof ladder. He hardly even heard the shuffling of feet on the roof before someone began to speak. "I figured you'd be up here" came a familiar voice that Kyou had been trying to forget, the cat in question quickly shot up to his feet "What the hell are you…" Kyou started to question shakily as he backed up from Yuki nearly stumbling on the tiles. Yuki reached out and grabbed Kyou's sleeve pulling him back towards Yuki and away from the edge, "watch it! You could have fallen and broken your neck, stupid cat," the dark haired boy sighed as Kyou wrenched his arm from Yuki's grasp.
Kyou felt his face heat up again slightly at having the other boy touch him "shut up! No one asked you to come up here!" Kyou retorted as he walked pass Yuki and sat back down in his original spot. 'This is too much…I cant see him right now. Damn it why me? Please just go…go…I'm way to confused to see him right now' Kyou thought to himself as he tried to close his eyes and ignore the presence of the slightly shorter boy. 'Kami, why does my stomach feel like this…like before back at that damn show…I don't understand and it's pissing me off! What did that stupid rat do to me now…why does he insist on making my life a living hell' Kyou screamed in his mind as he buried his face in his palms as his arms rested on his knees.
Suddenly Kyou's body stiffened as he felt sudden warmth lingering in the air beside him, looking up from his hands he saw Yuki sitting down on the roof with his legs outstretched about a foot away from him. Kyou bristled and nearly hissed at the dark haired boy as he snapped his head around to look at him "wh-what the hell is wrong with you? Can't you hear good rat-boy? I told you to go AWAY," Kyou yelled through gritted teeth as he leaned towards Yuki intimidatingly. Yuki however was less than intimidated and he glared Kyou right back immediately recognizing this familiar "game". "I live in this house too idiot. So I have just as much right to be here as you" Yuki replied coolly as he stared down the very agitated cat, "I DONT care…just leave me alone damn it!" Kyou hissed as he used his hand to shove Yuki's shoulder. "Yuki leaned his face closer to Kyou's "make me" Yuki hissed coldly as he grabbed Kyou's hand from his shoulder and held it tightly between them.
Yuki could feel something building up, something boiling up inside of his chest urging him forward, urging him to push Kyou over the edge. He could see it in his eyes; Yuki saw all the anger, confusion, and desperation swirling around the boy's maroon eyes. And he wanted to test it, he wanted to know how far he could push it, he wanted to know once and for all what was waiting at the end of this game of playing with fire. After all that had happened that day and all the things he'd been feeling since the day Kyou moved in, he had to know how the other boy felt. He had to see how the game would end, if it could end. He knew that once he found out that would be it. And he wanted to…no he needed to find out.
Before Kyou could think of a response Yuki pulled Kyou's arm towards himself causing Kyou to be yanked into Yuki. In an instant Yuki's lips were pressed against his in hard needy, passionate kiss, nether of them was sure who had started the initial kiss but after the first few moments of shock both boys were full on participants. Yuki let Kyou's hand slip from his and it rested on Yuki's warm trembling chest, As Kyou leaned more into the kiss he bit lightly on Yuki's bottom lip begging entrance. Yuki closed his lust-clouded eyes as he admitted Kyou entrance and leaned back onto the cold roof, his pale lithe fingers reached up to Kyou's wild orange hair. Kyou swept his inexperienced tongue around the sweet moist cavern of Yuki's mouth, then as their tongues met a new spark was set off and a new more intimate battle for dominance.
As the kiss intensified Yuki's hands found their way down Kyou's back and snaked up under his shirt. Kyou let out a small moan into Yuki's mouth as the rat's cold fingers brushed over the sensitive skin of his lower stomach and up over his chiseled abs. Kyou's mind was fogging over with a million and one thoughts but none of which were at all comprehensible, all except one. The need to breathe was one that wrenched at both boys' throats and forced them to finally pull away from ravaging each other's lips in order to take in some much needed oxygen.
AS both boys broke away panting they looked up at each other with eyes full of passion and wonder as they stayed in their previous positions trying to regain use of both their lungs and brains. As soon as Kyou's conscious returned to him he rolled back off of Yuki and onto his behind as he looked down still red faced and panting at his rumpled shirt. Yuki could only lean his head back further and close his eyes as he allowed the cool evening air to caress his flushed cheeks, a quick breeze of cold air on his bare chest alerted Yuki for the first time that his shirt had become un buttoned some time during their little romp.
"Why…why did you do that?" a low hoarse voice drifted into Yuki's ears and he lifted his head to look up at the boy who was addressing him, "why couldn't you just leave…why did you have to stay and make me feel like that again. Why Yuki…why are you doing this to me" Kyou's voice was oddly serious and yet somewhat sad, Yuki's eyes were wide at the tone of the short tempered boy as he sat up slightly on the roof "Kyou…I…I think we need to talk. About what just happened…and…and earlier" Yuki was able to force out shakily as he tried to look Kyou in the eye. But the other boy still had his head down "I don't want to…I don't want to talk about…or think about…because…because I'm…I'm afraid" the cat said in a choked whisper as he lifted his weary frightened eyes to look at Yuki.
"I'm afraid…of what this all might mean…I don't understand these feelings and it's…it's pissing me off" Kyou said in a strained voice as the anger had begun to lace together with the fear in his voice. "This is weird…. too weird. I mean you're a guy…and…and you're…you're that damn rat…this is just…too much…I cant…" Kyou's words died off as his voice trembled with each word he spoke. Yuki sat up straight and bowed his head slightly letting his fringe cover his eyes and shade much of his face, "I know…I-I was scared too…when it happened but…but look…I don't want this to be too awkward…I mean I wish we could just go back to normal but…" Yuki trailed off. Deep down he knew that what he says was only partially true, there was a part of him that regretted pushing Kyou to this…that wanted everything to go back to how they were before today. But then another part of him was relieved that it had finally come to a head, part of him didn't want to forget what happened…part of him wanted to know where they could go from here.
But Yuki knew that it was a ridiculous wish and that holding on to that would only further complicate matters, and kami only knew that life in the Sohma household was complicated enough without adding this to it. Kyou looked up at Yuki and let out a bitter laugh "normal? When has life ever been normal around here? Especially after today…what happened earlier was not normal! What just happened now was not normal…we…this could never be normal!" Kyou yelled as he slammed his fists onto the rough rooftop. Yuki flinched slightly at the hard thumping sound and sighed "kyou…" he started to say but he was cut off. "It's true…it's true and you know it! Damn it you know it…and yet you insist on playing around with these sick little games! Don't pretend that you care about my feelings or that you feel sorry for what happened…just stop! Ok stop it!" Kyou yelled as he felt hot tears sting his eyes.
He turned away quickly not wanting Yuki to see him in the less than manly state he was in, but Yuki could see the hurt…the anger and the utter hopelessness in Kyou's voice. "And what about Tohru." Kyou said in a voice barely above a whisper, Yuki felt his heart skip a beat at the mention of the girl's name, the one person that he knew could possibly hurt the most because of this…the person he wanted to hurt the least. "What do you think she's going to think? Huh? What about her…I mean I thought we could…I wanted to…to…but it's all lost now. She was my one chance…my one chance at normalcy, at warmth, at a future…and you…you just TOOK THAT AWAY!" Kyou shouted at the other boy as he struck out his fist and punched Yuki hard in the left cheek causing the other boy's head to snap to the right.
Yuki sat there silently for a moment with his eyes wide as he held his bruised cheek and Kyou sat staring at the boy in question, panting wildly as he brought his fist back down to his lap. Kyou swallowed rather loudly as he awaited the usual retaliation, he waited for Yuki to spring to his feet and send the cat flying off the roof as he had threatened many times before but it never happened.
"I…I love her too you know. And I know that…that Honda-san is a very caring forgiving person…she'd never think ill of you or anyone…no matter what mistakes you made…but…you have to figure out your real feelings for her on your own" Yuki said in a quiet yet eerily calm voice. "I have already accepted that my love for Honda-san is more brotherly than romantic…because I know that…no matter how deeply I love her we could never be…like that. Like a normal couple…but you…you have to decide that on your own. But me…I can no longer lie to myself and pretend to have hope…because I've excepted the truth of my weakness…my curse" Yuki finished solemnly as he turned to face Kyou with cold red rimmed eyes.
Kyou turned away and refused to look at Yuki "damn you…you always manage to do it don't you? You always manage to ruin it for me…everything I want…you always take it from me...ever since we were kids…I thought there was nothing left to take. But you proved me wrong" Kyou said hoarsely in a bitter tone. Yuki closed his eyes sat up on his knees preparing to take his leave "no…I just told you the truth…So I don't see why you have to act so childish about it…whether you choose to accept it or not is your business…I don't care what you do now…I…I cant deal with this right now" Yuki said with a hint of weary annoyance in his voice. As Yuki went to stand up he felt something tug on his sleeve and bring him crashing back to his knees, before he could utter a word of protest he felt warm lips being pressed to his roughly as a warm sturdy chest pressed against his own.
Yuki couldn't think as Kyou's lips continued their assault; all he could do was gently melt into the fiery kiss as he felt his heart begin to pump harder. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and to another area that he never particularly paid much attention to before, but now as he arched into the quick fumbling hands that caressed his chest he was well aware of his anatomy. But all to quickly Kyou pulled out of the kiss and Yuki gave a small-disappointed moan as the warmth left him, Kyou looked Yuki in the face with a hard flushed expression. "That's why…that's why I'm acting so childish. Because I know that I'll never be able to do that with her…with anyone…because I'm just so damn confused…and I don't know what to do and she isn't here to help me through this! So now what am I supposed to do smart-ass? NOW WHAT?" Kyou yelled at his cousin.
Then when he couldn't hold it in anymore Kyou slumped his shoulders forward and dropped his head so that his orange locks covered much of his face, 'damn it…what am I doing…I'm acting like such a fool. I can't believe I'm sitting here about to cry…about to friggin cry! And in front of that damn rat…why him…why now? Oh god…I can't take this…Tohru…why aren't you here? Why cant you be here to tell me it's all gonna be ok…why aren't you here?' Kyou screamed in his mind as he closed his eyes and senses to the world around him.
Then suddenly Kyou felt thin but strong arms cradle around his torso and pull him into something warm and frail yet at the same time sturdy. It wasn't until Kyou felt the small brush of lips against his forehead that Kyou realized what was going on. Yuki was holding him…Yuki was holding him? The same Yuki who had been his mortal enemy since birth, who had publicly humiliated him in front of his family countless times. The same Yuki whose eyes had once shown with pure disgust every time he claimed yet another victory on Kyou, that same Yuki was now gently holding him.
"Kyou…Kyou listen to me…I'll make you a deal ok? Whenever you need someone…whenever you feel like you want another body to comfort you…come to me" Yuki whispered in Kyou's ears causing shivers of pleasure to run down Kyou's spine. "Until Honda-san returns…and until we can over come…or sort out…whatever the hell it is that we're feeling now…we can seek comfort in each other…I'm not saying we have to be friends…or change how we think…but when we need it…when we need this. We can come to each other…no questions asked…no guilt…no attachments" Yuki said as his voice began to falter. He knew what he was proposing was outrageous and he knew that it would only lead to trouble…lead to more confusion, but something inside of him was telling him that he needed to do this…that this was the only way. And even now as he held his childhood rival in his arms so tenderly whispering into his ear, he couldn't help but feel just how right it all seemed somehow,
Kyou could sense this too and it scared him, but he was more afraid to let go than to stay in his arms. Kyou's mind tried it's best to mull over the proposition Yuki had made, everything in his head told him "no" and told him that this was a bad idea…that he was just asking for trouble. But this feeling he felt…that warm contented feeling he felt throb inside his heart as he wrapped his arms around the rat, told him that he needed to test this…to see where this strange, this new, this forbidden deal would take him. And before Kyou's brain could connect to his mouth he spoke up "ok…I'll…I'll do it" Kyou said in a voice barely above a whisper as he pulled out of Yuki's arms and looked him intensely in the eyes. Yuki smirked slightly and reached out a pale cold hand to caress Kyou's cheek and then he leaned in gently and kissed him on the lips, it was a chaste fleeting kiss but still just as powerful as any words at the moment could have been.
"YUUUUKI-KUN! KYOOOO-KUN! I'M HOOOOME! I HOPE YOU TWO HAVENT DEMOLISHED THE HOUSE YET…OR KILLED EACH OTHER!" came an annoyingly familiar voice that caused both boys to involuntarily jump apart. "Damn dog…he hasn't been here two seconds and already I got a headache," Kyou muttered as he rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his mussed up hair. Yuki sighed as he stood up and stretched slightly "I'm leaving…Shigure might start to worry if he doesn't see anyone soon" Yuki said boredly as he scratched his head. Yuki turned to the ladder and began to walk towards it when he was stopped by a voice. "Yo rat!" Kyou called out causing Yuki to turn around with a slightly surprised look on his face, "just remember…that deal doesn't change anything…I-I still think you're a spoiled stuck up dirty bastard! And I will beat you some day. So don't think that this means I don't still hate you" Kyou said sternly as he tried to hide the forcedness in his tone.
Yuki smirked at the cat and then turned his back to him and began to descend the ladder "In your dreams.. Oh, and I still think you're an ignorant classless dunce…and trust me...about our little deal…love has nothing to do with it" Yuki said coolly before he disappeared down the ladder. Kyou smiled at the ladder where the boy had once been before he turned his gaze back to the vastly darkening sky. He took comfort in Yuki's words, for him love was a word that he was not ready to use especially in this new development, relationship or whatever the hell it was. He wasn't quite sure what the near future held in store for them but he knew whatever it was it couldn't be good.
Later that night as Yuki laid on his futon staring up at the dark shadow draped walls around him he couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to the day's earlier events. He couldn't believe what had transpired between then, after all the strange feelings he'd felt towards Kyou in the past few weeks he was dumbfounded that something like this was actually happening. He was torn between wanting to jump for joy and wanting to scream his lungs out and rip out his hair in anger, he knew he was playing with fire again and that was dangerous. But now he was also playing with his heart and Kyou's as well, he thought back to his words earlier that night love has nothing to do with it. He only half believed it himself when he'd said it but he knew that he would have to believe it. It was the only way to insure that he wouldn't get hurt.
He had always been good at keeping his emotions locked up, but with this…he was unsure if he could pull it off. He only hoped for his sake and for Kyou's that he could control his emotions and stay true to their agreement of "no attachments, no regrets". He just had to remember that Kyou hated him and probably always would, and he knew he should as well. But then again everyone knows that there is a thin line between love and hate, and crossing that line just may be easier to do than previously thought.
T.B.C
A/N: Finally I'm done! Sorry it was a little OOC for Kyou but oh well to bad! Sorry next time there will be some Hatori/Tohru goodness! Yey! So tell me how do you like it so far? Too angsty? To melodramatic? To much making out (hah! Like you can ever have too much)! Please tell me what you think! Also I was thinking about possibly putting a lime or maybe a lemon in the story (not until later in the chapters though…not soon). Should I? I've never written lemons or anything before so I'm not sure how it would be but please tell me if I should (I'd have to up the rating to M of course). And if I do write a lemon or lime should it be yaoi or a hetero pairing? Or do you want it to just be angsty and fluffy (wow that's an oxymoron lol)? Please let me know if I should continue or not…only your feedback will decide. So REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!
-Chizz