Disclaimer: The only thing I own are my socks and draws.

This is chapter one. Short and sweet, just how I like them. The next few chapters will be some high level fights, just to get your blood pumping.

Kosame and Kaira

"Do you understand?" Tenzou asked for what seemed to be the thousandth time. In truth he had only asked him thrice, but the boy had an uncanny ability to annoy the hell out of him.

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto replied, bored. So the shadow clones could share memories? And? It wouldn't do him any good now, so it wasn't a big deal. He wasn't even a ninja yet!

Tenzou sighed, rubbing his forehead, sensing his student's thoughts. "Think idiot boy! Think about what you can accomplish with such a technique!" He was loathe to do it, but he had to get him to see the benefits outside of learning techniques. "Imagine the pranks you can pull… all the information you can gather…" he trailed off, yearning Naruto to understand.

"Hmmm… I see the potential for pranks, but why would I need information?" he asked, eyes squinting stupidly. Tenzou hated the expression, and Naruto knew it.

"Too blackmail, of course. You may not be a ninja now, but you will be in a few years, and you'll need to know everything you can."

"Okay, okay, Stiff-san, I get it… can I go now?"

Tenzou sighed again, but was happy to be rid of Naruto… he was so infuriating! And he did it on purpose!

By the time Tenzou looked up, Naruto was sprinting away, no doubt on his way to Ichiraku's.

"He can be annoying, can't he?" a feminine voice spoke.

Tenzou snapped to attention, turning to face the speaker. How had this person snuck up on him?

"Who are you?" he asked, eyeing the tattoo on her arm… she was ANBU, but she didn't have on the standard gear.

"Does it matter?" she said, circling him.

Like most Kunoichi, she had an amazing physique, and oddly colored hair. Deep blue strands hung limply around her face, parting every so often to show the gleaming gems in her ear. She was short, shorter than him, at least, but he couldn't guess her age.

"Yes," he replied. "It matters."

"You don't recognize my voice, Tenzou-kun? I am Kosame."

Kosame? He'd always thought Kosame was a man. "I didn't recognize your voice, Kosame-san, because you never speak." He said, relaxing.

"Touché." She replied, still circling.

Tenzou didn't like feeling flustered, and he didn't like mystery. "What do you want, Kosame-san?"

"Nothing that you can offer. I came here to see how Naruto's training was going. Was he successful?"

"Yes. He learned the technique in record time." He paused, glancing toward the village. "If you'll excuse me, Kosame-san." he said, turning to walk away.

"Do you know why he does it?" she asked.

He stopped. "It?"

"Watch him sometime… you'll understand."

He turned around to ask her what she meant, only to see a puddle of water wear she had been standing. Mizu Bunshin? Or something else…

Naruto was sprinting along the roof tops towards his home. His belly was full, he was tired, and more than ready to retire for the evening.

Contrary to popular belief, he didn't eat ramen all the time, but it was his favorite food. The stuff just wasn't filling enough unless he ate massive amounts of it, and it never had enough meat in it, not after the Forest. Teuchi-jiji would fix him different meals now, but for the same low ramen price.

He glanced to his left and his right, grinning at his Kage Bunshin. The technique really was amazing, and he planned to take full advantage of it.

I can prank someone in east Konoha, be in class in west Konoha, and be learning more ninja techniques from Urutora jiji! I'm so awesome.

Lost in his thoughts, Naruto didn't notice the body dropping silently in front of him. He did, however, feel as his body slammed into what felt like a brick wall, ceasing all motion, jarring his bones and muscles.

"Ow! What the fuck…" he trailed off, looking into the face of one of prettiest women he had ever seen. Her hair was fiery red, but kind of spiky, like his own, and much longer, almost like a mane. Her eyes were big and dark, and in her left eyebrow was a… a ring?

"Why do you have that in your eyebrow?" he asked, pointing. The woman laughed, kneeling down to help him up.

"It's for protection. It's what makes me unique."

"Ummm… okay." Weird… "My name's Naruto." he introduced himself, remembering proper manners. "And you are…"

"I am Kaira. You should know me, Naruto-kun."

"What? How?"

"We have met before, you and I…" She paused, and Naruto grew annoyed at her mysteriousness, "in the forest… we played tag."

"Ohhh! Stiff-san!" he exclaimed. He remembered his time in the forest vividly… it was the only time he had truly felt free. "Number three or number two?"

"Number three."

"It's nice to see you again Stiff-san Number three."

"You know my name now Naruto-kun, you don't have to call me that anymore."

"I may know your name, but you'll always be Stiff-san to me!" He declared.

Kaira leaned forward, putting her face mere inches away from his. She pouted, eyes fluttering heavily. "Do I look so stiff now, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto had seen women flirt before, so he knew the game she was playing… and he wasn't interested. "Yep." he said shortly, putting his hand against her chin and pushing it away.

Kaira laughed, but allowed him to push her face away. "You're a smart boy, Naruto-kun… don't let anyone tell you different."

Too weird… Now that he had figured out who she was, the mystique fizzled away, and he was ready to go home. "I was on my way home, Kaira-san, so I'll just be going…"

"Go ahead, Naruto-kun, I just wanted to see if you remembered me."

Weird, he thought again, turning to hop off of the roof.

"You should open up some, Naruto-kun. Not everyone hates you."

"Wha-?!" he turned around, but only saw a pitiful little ember falling to the ground. "Far too weird." he reiterated. Shaking his head, he hopped down from the roof, continuing on his way home.

"Wait a sec!" he exclaimed as he landed. "Those stupid Kage Bunshin just kept going…" he though about the ramifications of independent thinking clones… "those stupid Kage Bunshin kept going!" he yelled with a smile.

"So what do you think about him?" Kakashi questioned.

"He could fit in with us just fine. He can use Mokuton, which is a plus. It makes him unique." Kosame replied, reclining back in her chair.

They were in a "secret" branch of the Hokage tower, discussing who they would get to replace their fourth and fallen member. The mission to Kumo had stopped a potential war, but one of their own had died. It was a small price to pay to keep Konoha safe and prosperous.

There a flicker of light in the corner, a flame fell to the ground, and Kaira stepped out of the shadow's, falling into the seat next to Kakashi.

The room was rather small and barren, holding only a circular table in the middle, surrounded by five chairs. There was a book case against the far wall, but it was empty. There were no doors… only those with a special seal could get into the room.

"So fill me in." Kaira said, looking at the both of them.

"We'll be extending an invitation to Tenzou to join us." Kakashi said.

"Oh?"

"Yes." This was Kosame. "Over the next few year we'll get him up to speed, and when Sempai is enlisted to train the last Uchiha, he'll be able to take over."

"I still don't see why one of you can't just assume control when I retire."

"Because an ANBU squad should only have one leader, Sempai. There are two of us." Kaira told him.

"That's why I said one of you could lead."

"Wouldn't work." Kosame mumbled. Kakashi sighed, giving up. These two were the oddest women he had ever met. There was silence for a few moments, so Kakashi began to inch his hand towards his breast pocket.

"Do you know who he is?" Kaira asked Kakashi.

"Who?" He hated it when they expected him to know everything. He was an A-Class ninja, not a psychic.

"Uzumaki Naruto. Do you know who he is?"

"The Fourth's legacy… what of him? He's what, seven, eight?"

"Seven. If he were eight we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Kakashi just looked at her.

"Only three genin teams are allowed to pass each year. It is a fact that both the Uchiha lead team and the Hyuuga lead team will pass. It is also a fact that the children of those legendary jounin will also pass. These leaves Naruto-"

"Wait. How do you know he won't be on either the Uchiha or the Hyuuga lead teams?"

"You are slipping, Sempai." Kosame said, joining in. She pulled a slip of paper from her breast, and handed it to Kakashi.

"I see," he said, eyes scanning the paper.

"The teams have already been determined, six years before they even graduate. Amazing, isn't it, how much of a ninja's life is planned before hand…." Kosame trailed off, her gaze far away.

"The clans teaching's have not changed, so there is almost zero chance that the teams will be incompatible. Uchiha Sasuke will be paired with the only medic-type, Haruno Sakura, and a "true Shinobi", Honoka Karuson." Kaira continued.

"True Shinobi? And how do they know already know what type of ninja Haruno will be? She isn't from a ninja clan."

"Honaka will follow the rules to the letter." Kosame answered. "His father and grandfather were the same way. Ideal Shinobi."

"And Haruno Oogata is Sakura's stepfather, and a retired medic-nin. Her mother, Haruno Karen is a disabled chuunin. She was once a genjutsu user." Kaira supplied. "They will impart her with some techniques, or they will be failing their duties as parents."

"Hyuuga Hinata will be paired with Aburame Shino and Inuzaka Kiba. They will be the tracking team, with two Taijutsu users and one boy who can drain chakra. And of course there is the Ino-Shika-Cho team… need I say more?"

"Well, yes." Kakashi replied. "Because I still don't know why Naruto is important to this… just let him stay another year in the academy."

"We can't do that, Sempai, and you know it. He has too much potential to leave him there." Kosame jumped in, once again.

"So what are you suggesting? Disregard our rules and make him ANBU?"

"No, of course not. We will simply make our own Genin team."

"Impossible. Only three teams are allowed to pass each year."

"You forget, Sempai, that Hokage-sama also wants to see Naruto-kun succeed."

"And you two will be his jounin sensei?"

"No, no, we will continue our ANBU duties. Shiranui Genma will be the jounin sensei."

"And he's agreed?"

"Hai." they answered in unison.

"So you two have thought this all out then?"

"Yes." Kosame answered. "Genma is a very skilled special jounin. He has elite knowledge in ninjutsu, but he hasn't trained his body as much as he should have. He isn't an elite jounin, but there are six years in between now and Naruto's graduation. That is more than enough time."

Kakashi didn't have anything left to ask.

He had expected the Academy to be boring. It was still school, after all, and his first year of primary had been seeped in useless, pointless lessons and lectures. It was very stupid, he thought with a frown, to lecture children. According to Kaira-chan, kids responded much more to visual stimulation, and a lecture was everything but visual.

So yes, he had expected boring. He expected pointless and useless. He expected to be sneered at, ignored, and unfairly judged… but by kami, he didn't expect, after five whole years, to have learned virtually nothing! It was outrageous! So much time wast-

"NARUTO!"

Damnit!

"Yes, Iruka-sensei?"

"Repeat to me what I just said."

Hearing the class snickering in the background, Naruto decided to go for broke. What's the worst that could happen? He'd have to clean erasers? Bah!

"NARUTO!" Pause. "Repeat to me what I just said."

There was silence for a few moments, before Kiba and Ami laughed loud, hard, and long, quickly joined by half the class. Sasuke still sat stoically in his chair by the window, arms folded. His "fan-girls", as there was no other word to describe them, all sat around him, hoping to one day wait on his beck and call. Shikamaru only yawned and turned his head, and Chouji pulled out another bag of chips. He was crunching so noisily that he hadn't even heard the exchange between Naruto and Iruka. Sweet little Hyuuga Hinata sat ramrod straight in her chair at the front of the room, glaring at whomever dared stare at her too long. Aburame Shino gave a long suffering sigh and shook his head.

"Detention, after class." Iruka hissed, visibly restraining himself. Mizuki-sensei just chuckled from his position in the corner of the room by the door.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever jackass." Naruto mumbled. Kiba laughed even harder at that, giving Naruto a big grin. Naruto, in turn, gave him a thumbs up sign.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Iruka started as the class quieted, "tomorrow is the start of the genin exams. There will be written test, a Taijutsu test, and a Ninjutsu test. Any questions?"

No one raised a hand.

"Good. Dismissed. Naruto, you stay."

Naruto grumbled a little, but didn't move from his seat.

"Hey Naruto!" Kiba called from the doorway. "Come by after your detention!" He winked at Naruto, laughing his way out the door.

When the last of the students had cleared out, Mizuki and Iruka approached Naruto.

"What's your issue, Naruto? Do you not understand the importance of what we teach you?" Iruka implored.

Naruto tilted his head as if in thought, copying the Hokage by scratching his chin. "Yeah, I do… listen, Iruka-sensei, as much as I'd like to stay and chat, I've got other things to do, important things, so if you don't mind…"

Before he could blink, he was bound to his chair with thick hemp rope.

"You're not going anywhere brat." Mizuki said smugly. Iruka just frowned, really disappointed in Naruto.

"Bet."

"What?" Mizuki questioned.

"B-E-T. Bet. Make a wager."

"Alright brat. What do you want?"

"If I can escape in ten seconds or less, you have to buy me an entire new set of ninja clothes and equipment."

"And if you don't?"

"I'll do whatever you want me too."

"Whatever I want?"

"…Yeah, but no gay stuff."

"Okay. Have at it." He said, waving his arm. Iruka looked on, fairly amused.

Naruto just smirked, before slamming his head into his desktop, poofing into smoke.

Mizuki and Iruka glanced at each other, then at the ropes on the ground, the same thought running through their heads. What the FUCK just happened?