Chapter One
Warning;; as always
"Okay, Lexaeus, you gotta hear this one. I swear you will laugh." Axel nodded, grinning.
"What are you idiots doing?" Larxene asked, stepping into the blue, circular lounge.
"Axel and Demyx are trying to make Lexaeus laugh." Marluxia chuckled, seemingly enjoying himself.
I looked back at Axel and smiled. He glanced over and me and winked. "Larxene'll like this one too. Okay, so, how many guys does it take to open up just one bottle of beer?" He looked Lexaeus dead in the eye. He shrugged and Axel smiled, tossing a thumb to point at Larxene, "None! It should be open when she brings it to him!" Axel let out a good laugh, joined by Demyx and even Marluxia. I stifled back a laugh as I looked up to Larxene.
"You are such an idiot!" The tall blonde stormed out of the room and Lexaeus smiled slowly but surely. It was an adorable little crooked smile. I heard Axel tell Demyx he won the bet and Demyx growl in defeat. I stood slowly and stretched.
"That was exciting." Marluxia chuckled again before standing. "Nice work boys. I'll see you after missions." He walked off into the direction Larxene headed. I watched as he disappeared into the dark hallway.
"You're with me, traitor." Demyx gave one of Lexaeus' big arms a smack. "And you, my friend, have the night off." He smiled over at me. I nodded and Axel stood finally. "What are you two gonna do?"
"The usual," Axel grinned. Demyx frowned and rolled his eyes. Apparently everyone in the Organization suspected Axel having feelings for me. Larxene told me but she said Marluxia told her who was told by Luxord who was told by Demyx who was told by Axel. Anything, of course, from Demyx is most likely a lie. I was just getting a little bothered with the jokes. I didn't know the truth.
Before I conked back into reality, Demyx and Lexaeus were gone. "You're more of a zombie today, Roxas. Is everything ok?" I looked up at the tall fire-red head. His green eyes were trying to see my most depths. The darkest most secretive part of me, I didn't even see it, but, I believed Axel could. I loved his eyes the most.
"I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away." I smiled and giggled. I only laughed in front of Larxene and Roxas. They were the most important, even if Larxene pretended to hate me.
Axel smiled and pulled me in for a hug. "I'm glad you're okay." He laughed, "But, uh, I think you've been spending too much time with me." He pulled away, still looking into my eyes. There was a dead silence; a moment of just taking in each other's gaze. It was almost as if we were having a staring contest because neither of us faltered. Then finally, I felt it…
Soft lips touched mine. I closed my eyes and felt warm finger pads on my chin, jaw bone, then grasp the back of my neck. I reached, blindly, for his coat. I grabbed part of the area on his chest, holding the material in my hands like I was holding on for dear life. What was this… a kiss? So the rumors must have been true? And, here, I am, condoning it?
"Ahem." I heard a voice from behind Axel. I pushed away quickly to see Demyx, shaking his head. "You two better be careful because I am sure as hell not making up some weird excuse for you two!" He grabbed his sitar and left the room again.
Axel looked back at me. "Where were we?" He grinned. I blushed.
His hands were reaching for me again and I pulled away. "We were talking about my spending too much time with you and your jokes coming apart of my vocabulary." I smiled, nervously. I didn't want to make him mad but I saw his brows move into a slanted position close to the bridge of his nose.
"Whatever, Roxas, you know, I hope your fucking day is as radiant as your smile." He turned and headed in the opposite directions to the rooms. I sighed, was he really going to do this? Apparently so he was…
"Axel!" I followed after him. He never stopped or looked back. I just tried to keep pace and reach him. Once he was almost to his door, I felt a small breeze, a tight grip on my arm, and a jerking sensation in my shoulder. I took a moment to realize what happened. He tricked me into coming to his room. "They told you, Roxas, didn't they?"
"Told me what?" I stepped back in defense. This wasn't like him. His usual funny, charismatic persona was a darker tone now. I noticed his fist clench. I was nervous.
"That I like you, Roxas, don't play dumb! Now is not the time!" He stepped closer. I watched his chest. It moved up and down as he breathed. I tried to gather my thoughts before he got even angrier. "Isn't it obvious? How could I not!" He grabbed my shoulders. "You're the only one I seem to see anymore!"
I took a deep breath. My chest was moving faster now. I had to have a heart because it was hurting as he got in my face. I kept myself in his grip. I wouldn't fight him. Slowly but surely I had pressed forward and encircled my arms around his long, thin stomach.
I felt him sigh before he held me back. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "Please don't be mad anymore." I pleaded, unsure of his expression.
He separated us then leaned down to me. Our lips touched. I gave in to the warmth and softness of his lips. The contact was an amazing feeling. Odd, but right. He deepened the kiss and held my body close to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he picked me up.
"Oh!" I let out as our kiss was broken. "Axel!" I exclaimed. He grinned and kissed me again.
"Don't be scared, I'm gonna make you fall for me." He grinned again.
I let out a little laugh.
He paused, pulling back. "What's so funny?" We were forehead to forehead now.
"I'm just glad you're making jokes again." I hugged him and kissed his forehead. "I was getting nervous."
"I don't think you know how hard it is to stay mad in your presence." He took a couple steps towards his bed. He sat me down on the edge and kneeled down in front of me, in between my legs. I let my hands fall to my lap. He took my cheeks in his hands and smiled. "You really are my heart."
"Your heart replacement, maybe," I tried to make a joke but he didn't laugh. I didn't think it was funny either.
"No, you are. I don't want a heart anymore. Because I figured something out," He replied, seriously.
"What's that?" I asked. He knew so much more than I could pretend to know. Ever since my memory loss Axel has taught me what I know. The others have verified things.
"When we get out hearts…. We won't have each other." Axel let his hands move to my knees. He stood and took a seat beside me. "We're be 'some bodies' but separately." He sighed.
"Oh…" I looked at my hands. This is all I have come to understand. I couldn't imagine. Life without the Organization? Demyx? Larxene? Axel? I couldn't imagine it, just couldn't.
"So I'd rather have you then a heart." I felt him bump my arm. I smiled. Me too; I liked this life for the most part. True, I wanted answers, but, I didn't want to start over again… alone.
"If we do get hearts… will you forget me?" Did I really just ask that out loud? I felt my face grow warmer.
"Never…" he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.
After a bit of silence, I heard him cheer up: "What's brown, white, and black all over?"
I blinked, thought for a moment, and then asked, "What?"
"Demyx," He grinned. I laughed. He always made stupid jokes on that poor guy.
"Demyx walked into a bar…" I tried to make another joke. This one could be funny? It was questionable.
Axel paused, and then laughed. "Oh!" He smiled, "Nice attempt."
"Teach me!" I nudged him. "I'm horrible at it…"
"Okay, there's a little trick." He covered my face. "Close your eyes." He pushed me back on the bed. "Lay down." I knew he was grinning. I felt him leaning over me now. My invisible heart began to race. His lips were on my neck. "Breathe." He opened his mouth and exhaled on the vulnerable skin. I shivered.
"Axel…" He did it again and I tried to reach for him.
"Shh… don't talk, just lay there." He caught my hand and forced it back on the bed.
"Next…" He kissed my neck once… twice… three times. "Relax, Roxas, I can feel you trembling."
"I can't with you doing that!" He started again, covering my mouth. The more he kept working his mouth on my skin the weirder I felt. I finally got to reach for his hair. I held onto him tightly.