I drove into the gravel driveway that had willow trees bending and shadowing over it up to my childhood home. As I began to unload my bags out of the car I observed the place that held so many precious memories to me. It seemed not much had changed, my father always was a consistent man so it wasn't much of a surprise I'd find little change to the place other than just passing of time. It was an old wood two story home with a little wrap around porch that I had spent most of my summer days relaxing and reading on until Jax would come blazing into the driveway on his motorcycle and whisk me away on some crazy adventure for the day. However, now I found myself standing on the once familiar porch feeling out of place and very hesitant to go inside but this was my home once again. I had sold my small one bedroom apartment and made arrangements for my belongings to be sent here after Gemma called me that one night, I couldn't bear the thought of selling my fathers home. I mean I had already accomplished what I set out to do when I left so wasn't it time to come back anyways?

I finally opened the creaky, old wooden screen door and unlocked the front door. The smell of old leather and old spice consumed me as I entered the house, I never realized exactly how much I missed this smell... or my father for that fact until now. I sat my bags on the couch and began to look around and get reacquainted with my home. It was like going back in time, like the world had stood still and I was still that 18 year old wild child, however the only difference was the absence of noise coming from my dad's garage where he constantly stayed working on bikes and then Jax's arms wrapped around my waist. Everything in this home reminded me of that boy, although I knew he would be a man now, not the adolescent boy I left behind that night. Every place held a sweet memory, the couch where I'd fallen asleep curled up to him on cold winter days, the kitchen where I'd cook for him while he relentlessly teased me and the stairs where Jax chased me up more times then I can count. While I was away I taught myself not to think about Jax even though many times I almost broke wanting to just call him up to hear his voice but I never gave into those desires. Although, no matter how strong I was while I was away, being in this house broke my walls down and my body carved to see him again.

After I unpacked my things in my old room I quickly showered and got ready for the funeral, I was already behind schedule. I zipped up my black dress with lace at the top, slipped on my black heels, and rushed out the door. I dispised knowing I was going to be late but it being a small town meant it wouldn't take that long to drive to the church. When I pulled up and parked I immediately noticed all the motorcycles there and subconsciously wondered which one was Jax's bike. I quickly walked up the few stairs and opened the front doors, inside I was greeted by a lady who pointed me in the direction of the chapel where the funeral was being held. I thanked her and found my way to a set of heavy double doors, I took a moment to collect myself and my nerves. God damn was I nervous! Being as quiet as I could I pushed the door slightly open enough for me to squeeze through. I entered right when the pastor came to saying, "Jack Clemont is survived by his daughter Harley Clemont and among many more family members" and almost on que many people turned to look at me entering the chapel. Feeling their eyes burning through me I made my way to the front pew that was reserved for family but on my way there my eyes felt pulled to him as if my whole body was a magnet just for him. He was different than I last remembered him, but he still had his long dirty blonde locks and his piercing eyes, he definitely had more muscles under his clothes and the beard of a man instead of stubble of a teenager. I honestly didn't think Jax Teller could be any sexier but seeing the man Jax Teller grew into be made me feel like a fool! I had to pry my eyes away from him because I felt like his eyes were tearing into my soul. I quickly sat down and tried to give my full attention to the pastor reading bible verses but I couldn't help but hearing a few whispers behind me, some asking if it was really me or the "damn I'd like to bend her over" comments, which I tried to ignore.

After the service was over they called each row to come up and say there last goodbye, starting from the back to the front. I watched as people went by recognizing most of the faces and getting acknowledgment from the most familiar ones. Now it was Gemma, Clay, Jax, and most of the gangs turn to walk up. I received a slight nod from Clay and a smile from Gemma but nothing at all from Jax. It made my heart fall to the ground. I waited until everyone had exited before I finally walked up to the coffin, in all honesty I was scared shitless. This would be the first time seeing my father in years and he would be laying in a casket. I approached slowly and put my hand on his cold lifeless hand and finally shed a tear. He looked almost the same except his once peppered hair was completely white and he had more wrinkles than I had remembered but he was still my father. Before I left I whispered, "I'm so sorry, if I could take it all back I would, I love you Daddy" and that was the last time I'd ever tell my father I loved him.

I wiped my face trying to fix my running eyeliner and sneak out to my car before anyone would notice me but I wouldn't get that lucky. As soon as I had stuck my keys in the door I heard Gemma behind me, "not trying to sneak out of here are you?" I turned to her with a smile on my face, she was still as beautiful as ever and still scary as hell all at the same time. I always envied her. "A girl can try, can't she?" I joked. "Well I'm not going to let you go that easy, you've always been like a daughter to me Harley so I want you to know that even though I wanted to beat your ass for leaving I still have a lot of love for you baby and I'm really happy to see you back in Charming... Now with that being said I want you to come back to the clubhouse for a little after party for your Daddy." I really didn't know how to turn Gemma down although it isn't like she would have let me if I did try so I gave a half hearted smile and responded with, "Sure, just let me change out of this dress first." Satisfied with my comply, she put her sunglasses on and strutted back to Clay who was talking with a group of bikers. Jax was no where to be seen.

My room had looked like it exploded with clothes, I had every article of clothing that I brought with me all over the room. I didn't think the clothes I owned now would look right in the clubhouse, I'd be very out of place. After a moment of thought, I opened my old dresser and pulled out clothes I'd left behind. A black vest that zipped up and showed lots of cleavage with jeans and my almost knee high boots. I almost felt like the old me... Almost. I headed for the clubhouse feeling very anxious, would Jax finally talk to me? Or does he hate me?... Could I blame him?

I cut the engine and sat looking at the clubhouse, thinking I should probably turn around and text Gemma a simple apology. I didn't think I had what it took to be back in this life again but somewhere deep down inside the old remnants mentally slapped myself. I was Harley Clemont, my father taught me to be tough and hard not back down from anything and this was a challenge I needed to face head on. I need to find a way to make my old life work with my new life and I did just that. I shut the car door with a new found confidence and walked up the clubhouse. There were a few guys standing outside with slutty girls hanging around them, they were young and obviously new members so I had no idea who they were but that didn't stop them from getting to try to know me. One guy called out to me, "hey baby, you lost? Come here Babydoll and I'm sure I can help you out" he had a preverted grin on his face as he scanned me up and down, I simply shot him the finger and proceeded in. Not worth the attitude. I remember a time when I didn't even have to defend myself because I had Jax. God help a man that talk to me like that with Jax around.

Unlike most things in Charming that didn't seem to change, the clubhouse was not one of them. I couldn't tell if it was the overall appearance or the energy in it but it wasn't the same. "Looks like we have a doctor in the house," Opies voice called from the bar and I couldn't help but break into a smile. I quickly made my way to him and embraced him in a hug that had been long over due. Opie was such a dear friend, he could have been my brother if fate had been a little different. "You look good Harley, look like you did damn good for yourself" he said. "It wasn't easy Op, adjusting to life without the gang was tough but I kinda just buried myself in med school to forget everything and move on." He simply smiled at me and replied, "well I'm damn proud of you.. here I thought you were always gonna be a box of rocks and a hopeless romantic" as he teased me I gave him a little playful push and that's when I finally noticed Donna behind the bar serving drinks. "Donna?" I called to her, she looked up and smiled "I thought you were never gonna notice me" I apologized to her saying, "Sorry, my attention is kind of all over this place trying to get the feel for it again." As Donna and I started to catch up Opie slowly made his departure so he didn't get caught up in girl talk. Donna finally came out from around the bar and gave me a good look over, "my god! I'm so freaking jealous of you! I hated you growing up for being as pretty as you were but you are fucking hot now!" She exclaimed. "Oh shut up! You look really good too Donna. Being a mom and wife suits you well" she smiled and sat on the bar stool next to me as we continued to drink a beer. I didn't know how to subtly ask so I just asked, "how's Jax?" Donna took another drink of her beer before speaking, "I'm really not sure how to answer this but I knew you'd be asking.. So you want the truth or can I just sugarcoat it?" That was easy to answer, "I want the truth Donna" so she kept on going, "he didn't take it easy after you left" she explained, "that man was broken Harley, you did a number to his soul, it was like a black cloud followed that boy wherever he went... Then one day I guess he attempted to move on because he did get married even though that's over now." I was a little taken aback by that last part... well maybe a lot and not because I thought Jax would never move on but... actually that's exactly why, I know that's selfish but I never imagined Jax with anyone else but me even after I left. "So who did he marry?" Part of me didn't want to know and part of me had to know. Donna looked nervously at me and kinda laughed it off and held her hands up, "now I really don't think I should be answering that one.. Maybe Opie can do tha-" I cut her off before she could finish, "come on, just spit it out." After a second she finally did just that, "It was with Wendy." If it was possible to literally see red, I would have. I hated that woman with every fiber in me, since I could remember she was always after Jax. I knew I had no reason to be this angry because the moment I decided to leave Charming I knew that meant Jax wouldn't be mine anymore but I guess that didn't mean my jealousy would go away. I took another drink of my beer to hold in my ugly words and then carefully told a lie, "well I'm really happy Jax tried to be happy" and then the subject was changed to Donna and Opie's life over the years.

We were in the middle of talking about their kids when Gemma walked over to us, "Can I borrow you a second Harley, I have something for you." I nodded my head and followed Gemma upstairs. She closed the door behind us and proceed to open a closet that was in the room, she then pulled out a very familiar piece of clothing. My leather jacket that my dad had made for me. Gemma held it up and smiled at me, "I think it's time you got this back" I smiled back at her and tentatively put the jacket on. It actually felt so good to feel the cold leather against my skin. "You still look good in it, Sweetie. You might have wanted to forget about us but this world will always be a big part of who you are." I wasn't sure what to say, I knew Gemma wouldn't have been happy when I left so I was glad I didn't have to face her in the past but I had to face her now. "I loved the club Gemma, I just couldn't be who I wanted to be while having a life in the club, it wasn't easy to walk away." She tucked a piece of hair behind my ear so motherly and then said, "it wasn't easy forgiving you for leaving either" and with that Gemma struck me hard in face. It took a second for me to register what happened but the stinging in the side of my face helped with that. As I held my face and the boiling rage inside me, Gemma began to hug me. I was utterly confused but this was how it was with Gemma. "I'm sorry honey, I didn't like hitting you but that was for breaking my boys heart." She began to walk out the door before turning around and saying, "when you're ready, come enjoy the bonfire outside" and with that I was left to myself.

Gemma was a crazy bitch and no matter how badly I wanted to be pissed at her, I had that one coming so I let the anger dissolve. When I calmed down I slipped back downstairs, trying to make my way outside but I got stopped by several people wanting to know how I had been all these years and the usual small talk conversation. Finally, I was able to escape to a secluded table close to a fire and away from other people. I sat on top of the table staring into the fire and letting the day sink in. As I enjoyed the warmth of the flames a voice from behind me sent goosebumps all over my skin, "I always did like the way you looked in that jacket" his voice came across me like a haunted melody and my heart leaped. I slowly turned to look at him and he was glorious in the light of the fire, god have I missed him! I steadied my voice and teased, "yeah I remember you liking me better out of it though" his lips turned up in a slight smile letting me know he still had some walls up. "Listen, I wanted to apologize for not saying anything to you at the funeral.. It didn't feel like the right time to me." I brushed it off as if it was no big deal, "It's okay, I suppose funerals aren't the best place for something like that." Jax nodded in agreement, I felt like he was holding back something or just not being honest with how he felt. He played it cool but I could tell he didn't want to. "Come on Jax, drop the shit! If you have something to say just say it!" And with that the truth came out, "you know Harley I've tried fuckin' hard to forgive and forget but that seems truly fuckin' impossible! I thought I pushed how I felt away but the moment you came strutting into that chapel it all came back.. You fuckin' left me for a fuckin' piece of paper from a bullshit school! I've been beat senseless, had a gun to my head, and seen some tough shit but nothing will ever compare to that night you decided I wasn't good enough and I thought I could just be okay with you but I don't know how!" He drew in a deep breath like he was catching himself from going any further so I took my turn to talk, "I know I hurt you and I'll never stop apologizing for that." I paused trying to get a feel of Jax and then continued, "I don't know how I would have felt if it was the other way around and you had left me but I can promise it was the hardest decision I've ever made was leaving you Jax. It was like learning how to walk all over again." His demeanor softened a little and I felt his guard drop, he was a tough man and I hated seeing him so cut off towards me. "No matter how angry I am, I'm really glad you walked in that chapel today... I can't explain it but it was like all the oxygen in the world returned and it's a fucking miserable world when you feel like you're suffocating every damn day." I felt relieved to see his softer side but guilty all at the same time knowing I caused him such misery. He got up from the table, smiled down at me with that panty dropping grin and extended his hand to help me up. "I think we need to go have us a few shots darlin'" His smile was contagious and I grabbed his hand to go back into the clubhouse and jokingly said, "already trying to get me drunk?" Jax answered with a mischievous smile and the rest of the night was a blur.