All That's Left of Yesterday
Chapter Two
You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant
Am I so insignificant
Isn't something missing
Isn't someone missing me
Max stood and stretched her limbs, trying to shake off the weariness from the last three hours of musing in solitude during the first watch.
Unbeknownst to the Flock, it wasn't a coincidence that they happened to be staying in this particular cave, in this particular area, just a few miles from the Pacific coast. It wasn't simply another night of rest at just any convenient location. Max had purposely brought them here, taking an unannounced detour, all because of one single tidbit of newly learned information.
From Jeb.
Apparently, he had tracked down the whereabouts of Angel and Gazzy's parents. Max wasn't sure, at first, which part of that she should be more shocked about. There was the fact that the siblings' parents could possibly be found, which was an astounding thought in and of itself. But there was also the fact that Jeb – Jeb, of all people – had been the one to fork the details over.
The only reason Max believed his claims at all was because he had, soon before, revealed the mystery of her own parents, which her mother confirmed to be nothing but the truth.
It couldn't hurt to check it out, right?
She walked to the southwest corner of the cave, where Fang was sleeping, and frowned at how tense and rigid his body seemed, even at rest. It shouldn't have to be like this, she thought, for the ten thousandth time in her approximately fourteen years. She wanted this whole ordeal – being mutants on the run, trying to take down the force of baddies, resting in caves and trees along the way – to just… be over, once and for all, to not have to deal with it anymore.
Fang's eyes opened immediately, but sleepily, the moment Max nudged his foot with her boot.
"Your watch," she whispered, hers eyes darting away from his in an instant, as if she thought they might expose her little secret.
A hollow feeling crept its way into Max's abdomen as she turned on her heel, not waiting for acknowledgement. She hated that he didn't know.
But Max couldn't tell him yet, not when she still remembered the way disappointment had washed over him the last time they failed to locate their families. So why throw out that false hope? Instead, she chose to bear the burden of it alone.
Well, that, and she also just wasn't… ready, yet. Wasn't ready to let them go.
She couldn't let them go, any of them.
But she would.
If the offer of a better life presented itself for any of the bird-kids, she would accept it, embrace it, and let them go, even if it left her heart mangled and tattered, burning like a salted open wound.
All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore
"I need to go for a fly," she said quietly, walking back toward the opening as Fang followed.
Abruptly, she turned around and cocked her head to the side, briefly looking past Fang for a moment, still considering that it might be pointless to even bother checking the place out. But she saw the way Angel clung tightly to Celeste, probably enduring another nightmare, the way Nudge was curled uncomfortably beside the small girl, protectively surrounding Total, and the way the boys were sprawled on either side, brows slightly furrowed, ready to be on guard and fighting at the drop of a dime, if need be… and an overwhelming sense of guilt smothered her residual inhibitions.
When this was all over, when Itex was no longer a threat, the kids needed more than she could ever offer them. More than a pebbly stone floor to sleep on. More than roasted rabbit, with a side of charred squirrel, for dinner. More than one bath a fortnight. Just… more. So, even if it meant losing them, giving up her role in their lives – mother, sister, friend – she would put up her brave front and face it, for them, her family, the only people in the world she would sacrifice her whole self for.
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
"I won't be long," she added, unfurling her wings as she strode nearer to the rocky ledge of the cave front.
And with that, she was in the air, beating her wings almost reluctantly as she escaped Fang's scrutinizing gaze. She hadn't lied, but her omission of details tugged uncomfortably at her insides.
Max tried to vanquish to feeling, unsuccessfully. The only reassurance she could provide for herself was in the knowledge that she wouldn't be giving anyone up right now. Even if the location checked out as OK and she deemed it worthy of further appraisal (a.k.a. making sure the family was suitable to relinquish her "babies" to), it wouldn't be safe to hand them over just yet. Itex needed to be out of the picture first, and that gave her time…
She suppressed a humorless chuckle as she suddenly found half an ounce of comfort in Itex's existence.
Fending off the ludicrous thoughts, Max started to focus on the earth below her, remembering with precise detail the route Jeb had described for her.
The barren landscape below, shrouded in winter's icy cloak, mirrored the aching dread that was slowly encompassing her mind and forcing her chest to tighten. She frowned at a small quintet of evergreens surrounding a fallen sequoia, tragically covered in the season's frost.
Above, the stars winked relentlessly, vying for her attention as the wind spoke to her in cautious whispers, almost comfortingly. And she was ever-grateful for the distractions Mother Nature now offered.
The chaotic sound of the sea, relentlessly beating against the tall cliff face, saluted her arrival to the could-be future home of Angel and Gazzy. She took notice of how the liquid scenery stretched far past the horizon, like a silvery sheet embalmed in moonlight.
The sight was something to be marveled, for sure. Something she could be satisfied about the young kids waking up to every morning. Certainly, this was the kind of place they used to dream about, back in the days when they still dared to dream about living a normal life – in the days before Iggy had experienced the ugly letdown of finding out that his parents were nothing more than money-grubbing disappointments.
Max wondered what exactly Iggy would do when all of this eventually played out. She considered the possibility that he may want to stay with Gazzy, his little pyro compadre. She didn't really know if the siblings' parent's would accept him into their family, if that was the case. Then again, maybe he would want to stay with the remains of the Flock…
But should all of the others' parents be located, what would become of his situation? Obviously, she wouldn't abandon him if he didn't want to try the "family" thing again, but would it ultimately end up with Iggy and Max as the skeletal fossil of what used to be a family? And would Iggy acquire Fang's role as her right-hand man?
Fang.
What the hell was she going to do without Fang?
Would he really leave her, though? Or would he fulfill his oath of never parting with her again?
Feeling utterly revolted and nauseated at the mere notion of losing them, him, Max shuddered and wedged the thoughts into the back of her mind, from where they would, no doubt, spring forth and torment her again, soon enough.
Within minutes, she spotted the very home she'd seen in the pictures Jeb had provided and found a suitable perch in a nearby tree, again taking in the sight before her, while the murmur of the surf boomed in melancholy mockery.
She roosted there, momentarily, entirely unaware of events the night would soon deliver…
It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No, I must be dreaming
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
You still rolling with it? I am going to try with ridiculous determination to get the next chapter up tonight because it's a shorter one. But, as always, I'd like to see how people felt about this chapter before we move on.
So… your thoughts? Review? Purdy please?
Do you even want another chapter?
XD