I'm So Hot For You
And you're so cold!

Love that song. Good stuff.

You know what else is good stuff? This chapter.
Bah! I'm excited. This OC is one I love dearly... Oh Evander Nash.
Hope you like him too.

Oh. And a quick note: There is a lot of Aussie slang, It will have an asterisk (*) and will be explained at the end.
And I like to put anything that has to do with a cell phone in brackets ([ ]). It's just my thing. I think it looks pretty that way =)

Now for the Protocol:
word count: 4,872

[I do not own any KHR characters]
I claim all rights to Evander and Nathan Nash

And please give props to Ausumist and Kyoasaurus. The are my betas for this story.

Enjoy. _Dee_

I pat myself down. One last check for the necessities: doodle, wallet, phone? Sweet. My eyes then shift to the two duffle bags now tossed in the back of the truck. I guess those are important too. Looking back to the house, I take in the sweet air of the Gafa*. A deep breath is sucked in while running my hands through my hair, only to crack my knuckles over my head afterwards. Eh, fuck it—I'll yawn while I wait for Dad too. I'll check my phone.

Three minutes pass.

"Dad! Hurry up you wombat*!"

I watch the door and see he's not coming. I head inside and call for him again. Nothing. After a quick check for him downstairs, I head upstairs to find him. The bastard better not have carked* it up there. I haven't even left yet.

My eyes dart left and right while I chuck a chewie* in my mouth. I'm not too crazy about eating this stuff all time. It's chewy, sticky and loses its flavor quickly (unless minty), but I have been craving a piece for sometime now. A fruity piece. It's making my mouth salivate as my jaw lightly smashes it. It's not helping me hear Dad though. I stop chewing. All the sugar bleeds out while I now hear muffling sounds coming from Dad's room. I'm betting the guy cracked a fat* and is taking care of it before we leave.

Can't blame him, it's uncomfortable walking around with a fat doodle.

My quiet steps ease over to his door, and I now hear him talking to someone. Probably one of his offsiders* from work. I know he has like 3 or 4 of them, but I've only met one. I just call her secretary lady. She's never told me her name, so that's all I've got. She's not bad looking; late 20's, brunette, average body. Nothing extraordinary—it's probably a good thing. I would've tried to fuck her then.

I silently crack the door open and hear Dad's phone flip shut. I'm not sure while I felt so compelled to eavesdrop on him. It's not like he has some good oil* he is keeping from me, but I stay completely quiet as the door opens more and I see him standing in front of his mantle and looking at his picture of Mom. I bite my lip curiously and continue to watch silently as he starts talking to it:

"Evaline, I know you're probably spitting the dummy* right now with how I'm letting Van go to Japan. You always wanted everyone together, and hated even when your sister would leave for only a few days at time for Italy." His large hand first rubs over his forehead before trailing down to rub over his tanned neck. "I think going to Japan will be good for him. I know I've told you before, but I found out our nephew Hayato is out there. That's all he's got on your side. Maybe meeting him and being out on his own will help him get his shit together."

He is silent now, and I'm leaning against the wall outside his room. Ugh. It's weird seeing this. Really fucking weird. He's being emotional? I look back in the room at what my girls call my future self: 198 cm of muscular man. 39, ruffled dirty blonde hair, and a chiseled square jaw that even I'm jealous of. He's awesome, he's an asshole, and he 's my fucking dad. I love him. But seeing him like this is not something I know. He starts talking to her again:

"I know that you don't find that as a good enough reason to let him run rampant in another country, but I know you'll keep an eye on him. Hopefully you'll smack him when he's acting like a fucking ocker*." He rubs the back of his neck again; "I miss you Evaline. Still love ya too."

Fuck. Should I even go?

I can hear dad's boots knock on the wood floors towards his door, and I slink downstairs. He doesn't need to know that he was heard. Shit. I'll never tell. Now at the bottom of the stairs, I speed into the kitchen and grab the first thing my hand feels as I watch his feet march down the steps. I shut the fridge and look away from the stairs.

"You're about to sit on a plane for almost ten hours, are you sure you want to do that drunk?"

I look over to Dad. "Huh?"

He points to the thing in my hand. "The coldie*."

I look down to see I grabbed a Victoria Bitter*. "Oh this? I grabbed it for you."

He nods and walks forward. "Right."

"No, really." I hand it to him.

He gives me a smirk while grabbing the beer. The fridge opens and the Victoria Bitter goes back to its resting spot. Ehh, I think he caught me, but I'll never admit it. That was too weird for me to want to talk about.

He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. "You ready."

I grin. "Hell yeah."

"Alright then, let's get you going."

Almost to the airport, I sprawl out in the seat and do the mental math for everything he's mentioned thus far. He said the two-bedroom apartment is going to be 73,000 Yen a month, and my monthly allowance is 330,000 Yen. I think that's a little over 650 Euros for the rent and about 3,000 Euros to play with, but that doesn't include food and utilities. With all the money I saved up, I should be more than fine for a while. In fact, I bet I could afford a damn maid. Hmm, a hot maid sounds awesome… I'll have to remember that idea.

I then ask, "Hey Dad, how old do you have to be to get a license there?"

"18 for cars, and 16 for bikes, but there are a lot of fees and expenses to getting those."

"Ahh."

"Before getting any ideas, go buy a Kerosene heater."

I cock a brow. "Why?"

"Cause most apartment complexes around there don't have heating. Only some have the heated tiling, and I'm sure you don't want to be cold in the winter."

"Gay. I'll try to remember that." I'll tell secretary lady to remind me.

"But other than that, you should be fine. I've already taken care of the R.E.A Fee, Security Deposit, Residence Fee, and Landlord's Prezzy*."

I shift in my seat a bit. "Landlord Prezzy?"

"Yeah, like thanks money for letting you live there."

I roll my eyes. "That's fucking stupid. Sounds like some lurk* shit."

"It's not illegal, It's their custom. Just like insulting yourself out of modesty."

I flinch. "What the fuck?"

Alright, I can understand move in fees, fees for vehicles, and I guess shonky* landlords wanting your money. But insulting yourself? Fuck that. I'm Evander Nash; if I can make a girl believe it, I'm goddamn invincible. I'll talk my way in and out of any thing, but none of it will be self-degrading. That's not my style.

My dad is giving me a crazy look now that he is at a stoplight. "What?"

"I've never heard of a woman being impressed by a man who looks down on themselves."

"The Japanese believe arrogance is rude, Van."

"Yeah? I don't see any beauts rooting* on my doodle if I say, 'my dick may suck, but please let me fuck you.'"

My dad starts chuckling and hits the gas. "That's exaggerating it."

"Then what the hell am I supposed to say?"

"You're a beautiful woman?"

I give him a dumb look. "Che. After I say that one dipshit."

"I'm not your love professor."

I laugh, "Yeah, and you're sure as hell not my doodle advisor, either."

There was a hug as they parted.

An overnight flight.

One terrible breakfast.

A loud, covered yawn at the baggage turnstile.

Ten hours have passed.

Putting both duffles in one hand for a moment, I rub my eyes again as I look for this girl that my Dad said would pick me up. She's supposed to drive me to get everything set up around town today, as well as show me around. Look at that dad of mine, like London to a brick*, that man is a god among men. A good guy, but not that great. Who the hell puts their son on a flight that wakes his ass up at 6:30 in the damn morning?

Nathan Nash.

Now where the passenger pick up is I start looking around for this 'cute and short Asian girl' that my dad said I needed to find. Fucking dill*, doesn't he know that most Asians are short compared to us? I shake my head, but then smile when I see a cute and short Asian girl holding a cardboard sign that said:

'Mr. Evander Nash'

I grin at how cool my name looks and walk over to the to the classily dressed lady. Seeing my name look like that has me damn near gleaming in confidence. All I need is Apollo to shine down on me at this point. Now to bust out some Japan-speak:

"Please excuse me, but are you Yamamoto Mizuki-san by chance? My name is Evander Nash."

The girl gives me a pretty smile. "Ah yes. It's great to meet you Evander Nash-sama. Welcome to Japan." She bows to me.

Did this girl seriously call me –sama and bow? Ahh man. She has a petite body, layered hair that frames her heart-shaped face, and big eyes that her she tries to make look innocent with how she wears her eyeliner. She's very cute—her and the doodle will meet tonight.

I put my bags down to bow back, "Please take care of me."

Since there is a lot for me to do today, we waste no time on extra formalities and head to the car. I have to grab my student attendance visa, set up a bank account here, get that damn inkan* thing and get it registered, and then sign all that damn housing paperwork. Fuck, I hate being busy like this. Now pulling up to the Immigration Office, and all I can think is how much I want to just take a fucking nap. I pull my hand up to my mouth and yawn again.

"Nash-sama, are you ready to go inside?"

I look over to her, "Hn? Oh yeah. I'll be right back Yamamoto-san."

Fingerprints. Photograph (smile!). Payment. Out. There goes an hour of my life that could've been spent sleeping. Fuck this.

After a few more hours, I finally finish all of the stupid particulars that had to be done in Tokyo and find myself in the town of Namimori. It's looks like your typical Japanese suburb, from what I've seen in the stuff I read about Japan. Lots of people walking around, small shops, kids in uniforms, girls in uniforms, old people. Nothing too special. What the hell is my cousin doing out here?

Tokyo girls look way better.

I hear Mizuki let out a small yawn as she keeps chauffeuring me everywhere. I check her out again, thinking how it was too easy to get us on a first name basis. This system of honoring others in Japan will definitely help me out in my future pursuits. Hah, what's even better is that I've got her believing that I'm here in Namimori to teach at the middle school. Dad must not have told her company too much about me. What an awesome guy.

"Mizuki-san, are you tired? We can stop and take a break. You have to be tired from driving me around everywhere today."

She gives me that cute smile of hers again. "Oh no, I'm fine Evander-sama! Don't worry about me. But would you like to stop?"

I give her a gentle stare. "I think we should stop and eat. Do you know of any local shops around here that are good?"

"Do you eat sushi?"

She looks ahead to watch the road again, and I hold in a laugh. Do I eat sushi? I lived on a giant island that has a steadily increasing Asian population. I'll play ignorant. It will probably help me out later.

"Actually no. But when in Rome, you do as the Romans."

She looks at me weirdly. I guess she's never heard that statement.

I chuckle, "I'd love to try it." I give her my grin that my girls told me they loved the most. "Please take care of me."

She looks at me with a surprised expression for a moment, and then looks back to the road ahead. "It would be my honor to Evander-sama."

She thinks I can't see her cheeks lightly blushing. Yeah, she's definitely a cute one.

So a few more minutes of driving, and we park across the street from a two-story house that has a fabric shading over the doorway. It's actually a sign that says "SUSHI." Talk about local. I'm actually pretty excited. Dad and I eat sushi a lot; he would always tell me that it remind him of Mom. I guess he met her and Aunt Lavina in a sushi shop way back in the day. I just eat it 'cause some sushi tastes awesome.

But we get out of the car and watch some kid like my height run out of the place with a baseball bat, a cap on his head, and a large smile on his face too. Not only is that one tall fucking Asian guy, but he looks happy too. I shrug my shoulders—good for him. I then look back to Mizuki who is checking her skirt and blouse. Her hands are making her small breasts bounce—nice.

Now they are sliding down her sides. She's got a good shape.

They rub past her hips and push the skirt down. I look away.

"Are you ready Evander-san?"

I look back to her, "Yep, let's go."

I open the door for Mizuki and tell her to go inside first, before sitting down at the bar. An older man, probably in his 40s, comes out of the back with one of those large knives you use for Sashimi. He seems surprised by our presence for a moment, but quickly breaks a large grin loose and welcomes us. We say hey back. I order some sake and for him to surprise me with any roll that has eel in it.

"Sake? Can I see an ID?"

I give him a blank stare, "Oh yeah, no problem. But I'm just coming in from Australia, is my ID from there ok?"

"Australia? Is that so? I think you're the first Aussie I've gotten as a customer."

I smile and hand him the ID, " Ah yeah? It's an honor. I've been told that the sushi here is to die for, so I'm excited." Mizuki looks at me crazily—she never said that.

The sushi-ya seems so flattered by the statement that he barely even looks at the ID before handing it back and pulling out two cups. As awesome as that move was right there, I wasn't too worried about it since it does have a picture of me on there, it's just that the information says that my name is Nathan Nash and that I'm 39 years old. It doesn't always get me through since I can only pass for a 21 year old with a slight baby face, but it's a legitimate government ID that does work on its own occasionally. But using it—along with some kind of small chat to distract them while they're checking it—always works in getting me the okay to drink.

Getting that ID was the worst and best drunk idea ever.

The sushi man, who told us to simply call him Tsuyoshi, kept the sake and rolls coming as Mizuki and I begin to unwind from all that sitting in the car. Though I'd rather be outside, drinking with her, this works too. I'll just try to spend some time outside later, or tomorrow. Depends on how committed Mizuki is to this boyfriend she keeps talking about. I'm thinking I can still get her, cause right now she's crying about all the crap he does that hurts her.

I shake my head; glad I don't waste time on relationships.

Tsuyoshi and I exchange nods, and my man with the knife tops her sake off.

Then my arm wraps over my drunk guide's shoulder. "Don't be upset by him." Then I start comforting her. "He's obviously an asshole that doesn't deserve you. So right now, let's drink to us being happy."

She looks at me with reddened, puppy dog eyes full of desperation. Then a smile breaks through, she nods her head yes, and replies, "Yeah, to us."

Day One = Winner, Winner, Fuck After Dinner.

My eyes creep open to the sounds of something rustling in the sheets. It's dark. Comfortable. I'm tired. What time is it?

I sprawl myself out, stretching out everything as I yawn silently. The little tears crawl to the corners of my eyes like they always do, but are too chicken shit to jump. I rub them out and look over to the rustling sound.

Whoa, who the fuck is that?

My head does a double take as another yawn comes and goes. There's a naked girl in my bed. She must have kicked the covers off in her sleep. I raise a brow. Nice ass.

I let of a small laugh, "Oh. Mizuki."

Damn I can't stop yawning. I force my eyes to widen as I sit up and rub my face, sucking a deep breath through my nose. I give myself the good ole' 'hungover head scratch.' Where the fuck is my phone?"

[WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!]

I look over the bed and see my phone glowing through the denim of my jeans as it tells me that it's 5:30 AM. Shit. I have fucking school today. The sheets rustle next to me again:

"Nnn?" Mizuki rolls on her back, rubbing her eyes with that sleepy and confused look. Whoa, where the fuck did her tits go? The ones she has now are nice, but small. Padding… that's some deceptive shit. "Where am I?"

Shit. Looks like we both got too drunk.

"Umm, I don't know."

Her eyes snap open. "Evander-san?"

I smile. "In the flesh."

The guide gapes at me while I get out of bed and grab my phone, turning on my flashlight app to find a light in here. I still have no idea where the hell I am, but I'm not too concerned. Mizuki is here, which means I have a ride. That will be taken advantage of.

I flip the switch and see both of my duffle bags tossed against a wall. Seeing how my shit is strewn all around it, I must have used more than the three condoms I had on me last night. I walk over to the small box I had in there. Two missing. Damn… That's awesome. Too bad I don't remember any of it. That sake is something fierce.

"Hic…"

I look to the bed. "Hey why are you crying?"

Oh. Yeah. Boyfriend.

Now the tears are spilling as she chokes out some kind of blabber. My Japanese isn't good enough to understand all that mess. And now she's bawling. Crap. I got to stop her before I get to feeling too awkward about this. I just don't like seeing girls cry… it's like watching someone punch a kitten.

I search around and grab a pair of basketball shorts, slipping them on as I walk over to her. "Hey." I ask again. "Why are you crying?"

"M-m-my boyfriend!"

"That asshole you told me about last night?"

My arms wrap around her small body, pressing her face in my chest. She wasn't a girl blessed with a cute crying face. I'm not even sure if this is what she said about her boyfriend since I was more concerned with eating and getting us both drunk, but we'll see.

Her body stops shaking so much and she sniffs loudly. " Well yeah, but…"

"But what? Are you going to beat yourself up over one tiny mistake?" She looks up to me, and I show her my pointer and thumb almost pinched together, "You don't even have to tell him." I take that hand and stroke her hair.

"But…"

I give her my comforting smile and reply, "But nothing. Don't worry about it. Let's just get ready and get out of here,"

As much as I didn't want her to feel bad about it all, I also wanted her to stop cause her puffy eyes aren't cute. But you can bet your three-legged dog that I wouldn't admit that.

"Thanks for the ride Mizuki-san. Sorry for the misunderstanding about my age. I hope I can be forgiven."

She bites her lip and looks towards the road. "It's alright. It's also my mistake for not realizing you're only 16."

I give her a smirk, totally satisfied with the expression I saw on her face when she watched me out of the bathroom with my uniform on. Priceless.

I give her a quick wave and shut the door. She drives off immediately. Eh, the ones in their 20s usually do that. I shrug my shoulders. It's not my problem to deal with now. I need to find out where my class is so I can start looking for my girls of the year. I like to scout them out early to plan my approach. Different girl, different approach. Time is of the essence too.

Now sifting through the crowd of people in the school yard, I look at this large plaque in front of me. What the fuck is this? Looking closer, I see that this thing is obviously how you find your name. Talk about a waste of my time. I look around and find a small group of three standing off to the side:

"Excuse me, I'm a new student here and don't really know how to find my class. Could you help me please?"

The three girls all eye me for a moment, look at each other, and then they all nod yes with pretty smiles on. Thank god the Japanese can always be counted on to say yes, even if they don't want to.

So after a few minutes of my fake searching with their actual searching, my name (Evander Nash) is found. Class 3-C. I'm not sure what that means, so I'll just ask; "So what does 3-C mean?"

One answers, "Its just what we call the classrooms here. You are in the C class of the third years."

I frown dubiously. "Is being in the C class supposed to be a bad thing?" I was told that my test scores were Dux*. Then again, I did actually try. All that earbashing* from Dad was getting annoying.

Another one answers this time, "Oh no! The classes are just named with letters.

I nod my head. "Ah."

Then the cute one of the group asks, "So where are you from?"

"Australia. You?" I smile.

They all laugh and say they're from here. Well one came from Sendai a year ago, but I doesn't really matter. I then ask if any of them are in my class to be nice, but it seems that they aren't. None of them look old enough for me anyways. I only root* girls 16 and up. So after a quick thank you and small bow, I leave them with, "I hope to see you three around."

They all wave and I walk away. One, two, three.

I look back—they're already congregating.

After solving the problem of finding my name, then the one of finding my class, I give a thank you and a goodbye to the cute girl who also looks too young for me. Then again, on my way to class, the girl who led me here that this place is a junior high school, and that year three is equivalent to year 8 in Australia. So my new problem is figuring out how the fuck my dad got the bright idea to put me in fucking middle school. I'm in year fucking 10 of high school*! How the hell did he fuck that up? I'll just text him real quick and get to the bottom of it.

[Evander:] WTF man?

[Dad:] What? I'm in a meeting.

[Evander:] You put me in Junior High.

[Dad:] Aren't you a year 8?

[Evander:] No. Year 10 dipstick.

[Dad:] I'm just a man trying to pay the bills. Make it work.

What a dick.

I slide open the door and watch everyone in the class' heads all turn towards the door. They are all giving me crazy stares. I just shrug my shoulders and look over to the woman walking towards the door. Average height, little plump, full lips, ring on the left hand. Hmm, not really what I'm looking either. She looks at the class and announces, "Students, this semester we have a new student transferring from Australia to study." She glance at me. "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

I smirk at her and then turn towards the class. "Hey, my name is Evander Nash. I hope to learn a lot from everyone while I'm here, including the improvement of my Japanese. Please take care of me."

I can see people making comments left and right, but for some reason find myself more interested in this guy the teacher told me to sit next to. Staring at a guy? Definitely a first that I'm not proud of. I sit in my desk and watch him glare at me more. He looks like he's ready to punch me, or something. White crew cut, silver eyes, and spunky* scar crossing over his left eyebrow. He looks like a bounce*, and it looks like I'm his new target.

"Alright, let's get class started"

The bounce gets this nauseated look and passes out while the teacher starts going over Japanese history, talking about some guy named Oda Nobunaga*. I vaguely pay attention as I stare at the woman, drawing her and the podium in my notebook. Taking notes is something that I let some girl do, and then schmooze some free copies of them at the library—usually the day before the exam. I'm the master at the art of regurgitating knowledge. I listen and make C's, then make A's on the exams. It evens out.

Plus, Oba Nobunaga is dead. If he can't help me get laid or get me out of trouble with angry men, then he's useless to me.

After about an hour, a break finally came. The bounce woke up. A pool of drool was left where his mouth was just at, and there's a small string of spit that just broke the line that connected to his mouth. It looked fucking hilarious, but seeing as I really don't want to waste any energy in possibly fighting with him for laughing, I just shake my head and smirk.

The guy looks over to me again. I can barely see it from the corner of my eye, but he's glaring at me again. I finally look over to him and ask, "Can I help you?"

He stays quiet.

"Do you have something to say to me?" I stare—intrigued. Now I'm really curious what is this guy's problem is.

"Do you like boxing?"

I flinch to his offbeat question. "What?"

There is a small grumble, then his eyes shift to both sides of the room. I'm pretty confused with this guy. Then for no reason he starts yelling, "AGH! THIS IS TOO MUCH TROUBLE!" He pauses and turns his attention to me, still yelling, "My name is Sasagawa Ryohei! I'm the captain of the boxing club, and my motto is 'TO THE EXTREME!'" His eyes look bright with passion as his tone lowers; "You must join the boxing club."

I'm damn near speechless.

This has to be one of the coolest men I've ever met. Not only is he dumber than a box of rocks, this guy is obviously as tough as nails. Doesn't look like he wastes time on details either. That's always a good thing in a man. I think I just found a bloke to take in as a friend. This year will be eventful if he's around.

"Well my name is Evander Nash. You can bet your ass I won't join the boxing club, but I sure as hell want you as a friend."

*Gafa – Great Australian Fuck it All (I lol'd when I saw this was something that was known as common slang)

*Wombat – An animal indigenous to Aus. that eats roots and leaves (just thought it sounded funny in that statement)

*Carked – Died

*Chewie – Gum

*Offsiders – Assistants

*Good Oil – Good info

*Spitting the Dummy – To get very upset at/about something

*Ocker – An unsophisticated person

*Coldie – Beer

*Victoria Bitter – An Australian Beer

*Prezzy – Present

*Lurk – Illegal/underhanded racket

*Shonky – Dubious, underhanded

*Like London to a Brick – It's used to say something of 'absolute certainty'

*Dill – Idiot

*Inkan – It's this stamp thing that the Japanese use as a signature. I'm pretty sure that every Japanese person has one of these, and it's strongly urged to foreigners to get one, but not required. I'm guessing it's like signing something and giving someone the last four of your Social Security Number (if you're American).

*Dux – top of the class

*Earbashing – Like nagging someone

*Root – Fuck

*Year 10 – In school terms for Australia, that means he's supposed to be a sophomore in American high schools, or a second year in high school in Japanese standards. This is a plausible concept since a lot of Australian schools teach Year 7 to Year 12 in one school. They have an interesting system down there.

*Spunky – Good looking

*Bounce – Bully

*Oda Nobunaga – A damiyo (feudal lord/noble) that achieved control over the province of Owari (around the modern city of Nagoya) in 1559. As many other daimyo, he was keen in uniting Japan. Strategically favorably located, he succeeded in capturing the capital in 1568.