"When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one." ~Epitaph of Technical Sergeant Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988
My first day on the S.S. Tipton had already passed and I haven't told a living soul that I was gay, yet. The opportunity never showed itself – and, anyway, I was rooming with a boy – Cody Martin – and I was absolutely frightened that he would kick me out because I was gay. Past experiences taught me that homophobes think that gay people are always sexually active.
So I kept quiet about my sexual orientation. Who could blame me? I was absolutely terrified now that I was actually on the ship and was no longer in dreamland. And to make matters worse, there were no openly gay person on board whom I could ask for help. The situation was quickly deteriorating into my worst-case scenario.
Some would say my fear was unfounded. Perhaps it was. But imagine living for 15 years, in a world where everything was catered to other people – and your interests were left in the dust. Your interests were practically ignored. Imagine that. I couldn't find the courage to tell – at least, not yet.
I lived my first six months on the S.S. Tipton while in the closet. I made our room extremely messy so Cody wouldn't doubt that I had 'manly' qualities. I had attempted to date many girls (all of which failed, especially when I barfed into one of my date's purse). I pretended to like Chelsea – I was bored and thought it would be interesting to see how long I could pretend to be a butler. (Obviously, not very long)
Yet, there were also other times when I was impressed at how dense some people were. When other guys were fawning over girls, I was fawning over cake – although I guess that could be interpreted for immaturity.
The ship was full of hormones. London chased after every guy she met, while Zack conversely chased after every girl. Mr. Moseby and Mrs. Tuttweiller seemed to have something going on. Cody spent six months trying to ask Bailey out – while Bailey seemed quite impervious until the corn cob festival.
Nobody recognized that, I, a member of the supposed testosterone-crazy species of males, did not utter a single word that related to the admiration of the female species. But the suppressing my sexual orientation was the sole reason why I left Virginia and came aboard this cruise. I had to escape that cycle – yet I found myself trapped in it, once again.
So I decided that Hawaii would be the perfect time to step out of the closet. Everyone would be happy and having a good time – there would be no reason for anybody to care that I was gay. Why would they? Slowly but surely, I was reversing back to the positive mentality that people in Boston had a 'live and let live' paradigm.
So when the Teen Cruise docked in Hawaii, I sought out Mr. Moseby, who had acted as a second-father to me on the ship, and told him I was gay. His reaction was quite unexpected. He laughed at me and told me that nobody as smart as me would voluntarily choose to go down the "devil's path". He was no longer my second-father.
I sought out Zack and found him hanging out at a juice bar on the beach front. When I told him I was gay, he looked at me oddly and told me that I was hurting self-esteem by insulting myself. I didn't quite understand what that meant – so I assumed he didn't understand the meaning of being gay; and rather only understood the homophobic usage of it being an insult. When I told him that it meant that I was attracted to people of the same sex; he slapped me and told me I was out of my mind.
I found Cody and Bailey on a date inside a Hawaiian-style restaurant. I sat down and told them I was gay. Bailey blinked twice, then stated simply, "Woody, this is why I forget half of the things you say." I understood why she would tune out my announcement of having 11 toes – because it was disgusting. Being gay is not disgusting. I told her that and she shook her head. Cody simply told me to leave our room and find somewhere else to sleep. As if I would do anything to him at night.
I found London wandering in one of the ABC Stores in Hawaii (nicknamed by the locals, "All Blocks Covered") and wondering aloud where all the jewelry were. She was the only one who didn't seem bothered that I was gay. "People are different. Some people are poor, some people are rich. I learned that a long time ago. It's not right to judge people because they are different – it was the only rule Daddy taught me." London, being quite stupid, actually said something smart. London would be my only friend for the next few months as I resolved to open the hearts and minds of my new friends aboard the S.S. Tipton.
How was it? I don't think I did quite as good a job as the last chapter. Please review and tell me what you thought!