When I came to, I felt dirty, disoriented, and thirsty. It took a little time for my eyes to focus. When they did, I realized it was night. The awareness that someone was shaking me registered at about the same time. I looked to see who it was. I didn't recognize the man crouched over me but he was easily the most handsome man I had ever seen. He had short black hair and angular features that were both refined and masculine. He wore a leather jacket with a mandarin collar. My gaze followed the dragon painted on his sleeve to his hand. He was offering me an open bottle. Instinct kicked in. I took it and began chugging like a frat boy at a keg party. I was nearly at the bottom when he handed me another one. It's a good thing he had a six pack. I had a vague notion that I wasn't swallowing but it didn't raise any flags at the time. I just kept going, and as the contents of the bottle in my hand disappeared he handed me the next one. I am a little ashamed to admit that I wasn't taking much trouble to ensure all the contents were making it into my mouth. I could feel some sliding out of its corners and dripping down my chin.

"Napkin?" he held out a stack of them. The logo told me he picked them up at the seven-eleven.

I set the last bottle down and took one. "Thanks" I said and wiped my face clean. It was more than a one napking job so I took the rest of the stack. Then we just sat there without saying anything for a while.

"Who are you?" I asked. I was loosing the disoriented feeling and starting to come to my senses.

"My name is Takeshi" he answered. He had a pleasant voice, calm and deep.

"What happened? Where's Chow?" As I remembered what was going on before I blacked out, I began to panic. I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to stay calm, but they didn't do much. In fact I couldn't even feel them.

"Chow had to go out of town unexpectedly. He asked me to look after you. Here" he was offering me his hand and straightening to stand. My body followed and I found myself looking up at him. At 6 ft 3 and about 200 lbs of solid muscle he was taller than I expected. I haven't seen many Asian men that are over six feet tall,I mean I know they are out there and all, but I had just never seen one before. Our eyes met and they lingered a second. It was like setting off a roman candle. Before I could blink we were making out like two teenagers on prom night. When I felt the ground pushing against my back and buttocks, I realized I was horizontal and the rational side of my brain kicked in. What the hell was I doing? I pushed him away from me. He didn't insist, he just rolled off and said," You need a bath" then he grabbed my hand and yanked me to my feet.

" what? You can kiss my ass!" I said feeling pretty darned defensive. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh!" I said, and rolled my eyes then started walking off in high dudgeon. What a rude dude! He didn't say anything and followed.

We had walked about a mile, and I was just calming down, when my brain kicked in again. Why would Chow send someone to "look after me"? What was Chow doing in the woods in the first place? Was he stalking me? How long had I been out? What was that nasty stuff I had just been drinking? How could I drink if I didn't swallow? What kind of person tells a perfect stranger they need a bath? Who are these people? Why could I see the faces of bats that were circling over head?What the hell is going on? I was working myself into a frenzy with my internal monologue but a flash of headlights up ahead told me I was close to rte 44 so I settled down. "Who cares? I am almost home." I told myself mentally. Once I got there I could forget about Chow and his GQ buddy, take my bath and get back to " The Rake Who Tupped Me". I never got tired of reading that book.

"Well, thanks for refreshments, and ah, you know… " I said as I picked up my pace. There really wasn't a way for it to not be awkward.

Takeshi, or Tak didn't say anything. He just let me walk on, cross the street and head up the driveway. I was almost to my sun room when I heard him whisper into my ear,

"We aren't done yet" . It didn't startle me, I felt him coming.

" I think we are" I retorted. It was a shame to throw cold water on whatever was going on between us but really, all I knew about this guy was that he was hot and he was a friend of Chow

s . That last fact was enough to convince me it was all I wanted to know about this guy.

" You aren't thinking straight" he said evenly.

Questioning my reasoning powers has always been a hot button with me. It inevitably gets me to say things that are more appropriate coming out of the mouth of a pugnacious teenager than a mature woman. I turned to face him and said,

" Oh, I am thinking straight you arrogant ass. I thanked you for the drinks and appreciate the sentiment, but I can look after myself. Tell Chow I said thanks and have a nice life, and you do the same" It was as clear a dismissal as anyone could give. I turned to keep going but he took my arm.

" We need to talk"

" No, we don't. This is goodbye" I yanked my arm away and opened my screen door.

" We are not done yet" He said again.

I got inside the sun room, yanking the screen door shut and said through it . " Listen, we have nothing to talk about. We are like strangers who met in an airport, its time now for everyone to get on their own flights. Good bye" I stared at him and waited for him to go. I wasn't opening the door to my house until he took his leave.

" But we are on the same plane. If you would take a moment to think about it you would realize this fact" he was starting to sound a little impatient, and it pushed me over the edge.

" No we are not, you pushy jackass. Now buzz off, this is my final adieu and it's a giant Fuck you!" I said and shot him the most venemous look I could muster. I wanted him to know I meant business. He looked suprised for a second, then his expression changed and for a moment I thought he was going to laugh.

" You have such an angelic voice, its ridiculous for you to curse and try to be bitchy, Mae -chan." Mae-chan? What now we were friends? I just glared at him and didn't say a word. Maybe if I didn't say anything he would go away.

"Clearly you are not thinking straight or you would realize you are someone who needs answers. I am the only one who can give them to you. Lets go, we have to get inside so you can get cleaned up and then we will talk" he could have been reading the weather report, that's how calm his voice sounded.

I opened my mouth to unleash every and any colorful insult I could come up with, but stopped myself as I noticed an ant crawling up a blade of grass about fifty yards away. How could I see that? Maybe there was some sense to what he was getting at after all. I did need a shower, and I needed answers. What was the worse thing that could happen? If he had wanted to hurt me he would have done it by now. It seemed the only danger I was in was of throwing myself at this more than willing stranger. I had more self control than that, so there was no danger at all.

" You have a point" I said, reluctantly.

" I am glad you have decided to be reasonable". I told myself to ignore the noise coming out of this mans mouth. It's like the buzzing of a fly, I told myself and held my tongue. I really wanted to get showered and informed so I could send this arrogant a-hole packing. We were inside now. I was about to tell him he could wait in the living room and watch some TV but by the time I set my keys on the kitchen counter and turned to tell him, he was settled comfortably on my couch ,actively channel surfing. Why didn't this surprise me?

I headed back to my room, grabbed a pair of jeans , the tazer in my underwear drawer (just in case), my purse and my "fever for cowbell T-shirt" then headed towards the bathroom. I popped my head into the living room and saw Tak had settled on a re-run of " Hell Girl" . If he noticed me, he gave no indication.

Everything about that shower was intense. I must have been stinky because the water just smelled incredible. It had a sweetness I never noticed before. My shampoo and shower gel also seemed to have developed subtle layers of fragrance since the last time I used them. The water felt like a silky caress and I swear I could see each drop falling as if it were in some kind of High Def slow motion. I had my first orgasm just standing there rinsing off. That was cool but kind of weird and random. Maybe Tak had slipped an aphrodisiac or worse into whatever I had been drinking . There was definitely something a little off about me tonight. I wasn't someone who made out with strangers, was rude,and got off in the shower. That might be the definition of normal for some folks , but it was not my usual cup of tea. Once I got over the after shocks , I dried off and dressed. I wiped off the steam from the medicine cabinet mirror so I could comb my hair and put on some lipstick. When I saw my reflection I didn't bother with the comb or the lipstick, I ran into the living room.

Tak, hit the mute button. " I am ready to talk" I said. He turned the T.V. off.

I was at a loss for words. The story Tak had just told me was incredible. I mean I know it could happen, probably happened every day, but somehow I thought being a forty year old woman living in a small town in CT meant it couldn't happen to me.

" Four days ago" was all I managed to say when I regained my voice. Then I ran to my computer and logged in. Sure enough, there was an email from my company stating that in compliance with their "three consecutive days no show, no call" they regretted to inform me I was no longer their employee. I don't really know why that was the first thing I felt anxious about when I learned I was a vampire. Maybe it was just that for sixteen years my job had been the only constant. Lovers came and went, friends came and went, my boss changed about every four years, but every week day for the past sixteen years I had known exactly where I was going to be and what I was going to be doing.

At first I felt numb. Then I felt bitter. Sixteen years and all I got was a lousy e-mail. I was going to have a T-shirt made up with those words on it. Now what?

Tak was still sitting on the couch, when I powered down my PC and headed back into the living room.

"Chow wants you to join him in Louisiana" Tak was saying " that's where he had to go. He just needs a couple of weeks to find a place and get settled in with his new employer Eric Northman and then you are to join him"

I didn't say anything. No need to discuss joining Chow in Louisiana, it wasn't going to happen I told myself.

" He says he thinks he can get you a job at the bar he is working at, Fangtasia. They have a few things you could do in the office. You are too new to work with the humans. It could be dangerous for everyone."

I still said nothing. Since I had no intention of joining Chow anywhere, his ideas about my employment were irrelevant. I'd figure out what I was going to do, like I always did.

"once you get more, um, accustomed to your new situation, you could work as bar tender there to or maybe a dancer"

Ok, that got a rise out of me.

"Tak, let me ask you a question?" if he had known me better he might have realized my tone was lethal.

"yeah, sure. That's why I am here"

" Do you think I spent eight years studying Statistics so that I could dance at a vampire bar in Louisiana? Is there anything about my physique that gives you the impression anyone would want to see me earning my bread and butter as a dancer of any kind? You do realize I am a 40 year old woman, right?" I decided to leave it at that.

Somehow, I didn't get the impression that Tak or Chow would "get" that what I did was none of their business and what they were doing wasn't any of my concern. Chow could go to hell-I met the man coffee, he turned me into a vampire, that was all. That's where the connection ended . Tak had been helpful but he was guilty of having poor taste in friends and had definitely overstayed his welcome, as far as I was concerned.

" Are you that old? I thought you were in your early thirties. Well I think your hot enough to be a dancer. I mean, you don't have abs of steel or anything but not everyone is into that. Don't be so hard on yourself, Mae."

" I was not fishing for compliments!" I hissed, exasperated. I was reaching the end of my thread. It was just to much: The date from hell thing; The vampire thing; the job loss thing; the knowledge that I was a member of the undead because I had met the most petty vampire in the world for coffee thing (Tak had attributed my being turned by Chow to his twisted sense of humor. He said Chow turned me so I would have eternity to learn a piano concerto. It was just to asinine to countenance). " This is bullshit" I said, mostly to myself.

"Relax, its not that bad" He might have been going for warm and reassuring, but it sounded like cold and stupid to me.

" This has been great, Tak" I said with every ounce of sarcasm I felt ," Thanks. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to retire for the evening and you need to go" My mother raised me better than that, I know but considering how rude I had been to him earlier did it matter? Besides, she raised me to believe rude people had no reason to live and well technically I wasn't alive anymore so I'd found a loop hole.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be " He got up and headed towards the door. Before he walked out he set his card on my kitchen counter. I was just about to push him out the door and bolt it shut when he looked at me with something I can only describe as compassion.

" It's been a trying night, I understand. Don't worry I wont hold a grudge, just call me when your ready Mae-chan"

"My name is Maeve" I said as I pushed him out the door and bolted it shut. All I needed was a cigarette and a cup of Joe and my world would be right again. I put a K-cup in my machine, fished out a coffee mug from the cup board and pushed the brew button. When it was ready I headed toward the living room with my mug and dug through my purse for my cigarettes and lighter. I was already starting to relax, it was a pavlovian response to the prospect of caffeine and nicotene. I popped the cigarette in my mouth and flicked my bic and tried to take a drag. That's when I had an epiphany- you have to breath to smoke. " No, No, no- this can't be happening damn it!" I yelled at my television screen. Well, guess quitting just became a moot point. Disgusted I threw my cigarettes back into my purse and took a swig of coffee.

If anyone stuck a red hot poker in your mouth that was covered in dirt, you would have a first hand experience of what that swig of coffee was like for me. I immediately spit it out, creating a mess on my floor and table. There would obviously be no more latte's in my future. I couldn't smoke or drink coffee anymore- I broke down and started crying. It's always the little things that get you, you know? I didn't cry long once I noticed my tears were blood, eww. I was grossing myself out. I headed into the kitchen for kleenex and paper towels. As I cleaned up the mess, I tried to find the bright side in all this. There is always a bright side. Everything happens for a reason, right? Yeah. All I could come up with, was that I was that I would never grow old and die (because I was already dead).

On the down side: I had been bored when this started and now it looked like I was going to be eternally bored, My maker was a stalker and the class clown, I didn't have a job, the first man to arouse my interest in years was a friend of the man who killed me, my dating pool had just gotten alot smaller and scarier, and did I mention that I couldn't smoke or drink coffee?

Eventually, the practical side of me kicked in to stop the insanity. I was going to need something to eat tomorrow, nothing in my fridge would do anymore. I remembered the seven eleven napkins, and headed down there to get a six pack of True Blood. If they were stocking the stuff, there must be other vamps in the area, right? Funny how I had never thought of it before. The great reveal and all the other things going on in the world seemed to have nothing to do with me. I should have been paying more attention, I guess.

As I pulled into my driveway, after my munchie run, I felt tired. "Thank goodness, my house has a basement" was what I was thinking as I got to my sun room and noticed a coffin , a case of True blood, and a cell phone. It had a card attached to it, I read it once I had everything inside. " Get some rest, I will call you tomorrow we have more to talk about- T p.s.- my name is Takeshi not Tak" It was nice to see could push his buttons too.

I changed into my p j's, and as climbed into my coffin and began to pull the lid down. I was just thinking that the clerk at the seven eleven was human and it hadn't fased me at all when the coffin lid shut and I was dead to the world.