Edwards POV

The hotel room I was in was as black as night. The only light that was in the room came from the window. I had locked my door and kept it locked. I asked the secretary not to let anyone up to my room, not even my family. I was too ashamed of myself to see anyone. It had been twenty years since I left Forks Washington and everyday since then has felt like a knife went into my heart. Twenty years ago I left the love of my life and even though I know I did it to protect her I doubt it did any good. The rest of my family is worried about her because for some strange reason Alice can't see her future anymore. I didn't tell them that after I heard that little bit of news I went to go check on her and found her in the arms of another man. As much as I wanted to rip his arms off I quickly turned around and left because it's what I wanted to happen. I wanted her to move on and have a normal human life and with me around that wasn't possible. She was a human and I was a vampire. It could never work between us…even if I wanted it to. I sighed and leaned my head against the headboard. My memory drifted to the day I left her and the hole in my chest started to throb.

"Okay let's talk." She said. Her arms were folded across her chest and her eyes looked worried like she was waiting for something to happen. I wanted to cry, if I could've and I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be alright. But I didn't, instead I silently growled and made my face go blank as I answered her.

"Bella. We're Leaving." I said aloud. My angelic voice echoed off the walls. The hole in my chest was where my heart should've bee. My heart hasn't beat for more than a hundred years. But now it felt like my heart was missing. Like it was never there in the first place.

She looked at me, confused. I could tell she had no idea why I was saying this. I growled silently again as I waited for her response. "When you say we…" she said as I cut her off mid sentence. She didn't need to finish the rest of her sentence I knew what she was going to say.

"I mean my family and myself." I said aloud again. My voice sounded hollow and my chest throbbed with every word I spoke and everything I remembered. Her face danced across my mind along with him holding her. Every memory hurt as bad as if it was happening right this minute.

"Okay, I'll come with you." She said. There was hope in her eyes. I knew she was hoping I would say yes and take her with us. But I shook my head and sighed.

My hands grabbed the hole in my chest as I got up and walked over to the mirror. I looked at my reflection as I spoke the next part. "You can't, Bella. Where we are going…it's not the right place for you." I said as I continued to stare at my reflection, my mind quickly drifted to Emmett's thought a year or two after we left Forks.

"My brother looked so bad that it actually hurt to look at him. I'd seen him angry, and I'd seen him arrogant, and once I'd seen him in pain. But this—this was beyond agony. His eyes were half-crazed. He didn't look up to glare at me. He stared at an old picture of Bella with an expression like someone had lit him on fire. His hands were rigid claws gripping the picture frame." I stopped my brother died in his thoughts then when I told him to get out of my room. I haven't seen my family since then. I didn't need or want their sympathy. My thoughts drifted back to the last day I saw my Bella and my heart throbbed.

"Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you Bella." I closed my eyes and sighed a deep frustrated sigh. That was the only bit of truth that was spoken that day. She disagreed but in my mind it was the truth.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're the very best part of my life."

I wanted to tell her that she was the very best part of my life as well and that I couldn't leave her even if I tried. I growled again, this time a little bit louder, but not loud enough for her to hear and continued with my lie. "My world is not for you." I said aloud grimily.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised you'd stay!" She shouted at me as she looked like she was going to cry.

"As long as it was best for you." I said as coldly as possible. I wanted to hold her as she cried but I held back my body and my feelings. I had to let her go. I sat back down on my bed again and flashes of her face, him holding her, and the necklace Alice had given me the last time I saw her went through my mind. I fiddled around with the bedside table drawer until I got it open. I took out the necklace as my memory drifted back in time again.

"No! This is about my soul isn't it! Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!" she shouted. I shook my head and stared at the ground. I wanted to protect every inch of her and that included her soul. To me her soul was the most important part. But Bella didn't see it that way. So I had to say what I never wanted to say to anyone in hundred years. Especially not the love of my life.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I said aloud again. Flashes of her face came to my mind and my chest throbbed. That was the biggest lie I had told her that day. I did want her to come with me, I wanted her to stay with me forever but that wasn't possible. I fiddled with the necklace some more as my mind drifted from pictures of him holding her and her laughing to her in pain from what I had told her. Me and my big mouth. I growled as my mind went back to the day I left her. I couldn't take the pain anymore.

"You…don't…want me?" She asked the tears forming in her eyes. I could smell the salt water.

I became the burning man again as my granite fingers tried to rip my face apart. "No." I said aloud. It echoed off the walls and the ache in my chest felt so much worse then it did earlier. For a spilt second I wondered if she ever felt like this, but then I pushed the thought away as the picture of her laughing and the man holding her came back into my mind. No, she was better at coping then I was. She was living her life, while I was too ashamed to even come out of my room and see my family. I let my mind remember the more important parts of that lie. I made her promise to take care of herself for Charlie's shake, not for me. Even though knowing she was alive and happy has kept me somewhat sane for the past twenty years. She nodded and I growled again as her words felt like weights on my empty chest.

"I will." She said. The tears streaming down her face.

I snarled as I said the next part aloud. "And I will make you a promise in return, I promise that this will be the last time you hear from me, I won't come back. You can move on with your life without anymore interference from me. It will be as if I never existed." I whispered. I didn't want it to echo off the walls. It hurt badly enough without having an echo. I snarled so loud then that somebody probably thought I had a wild animal in here. I got up then, walked over to my dresser and grabbed my iPod. At first I couldn't listen to music at all but now it wasn't so bad. Bands like Skillet, Nickelback, Crossfade, and Evanescence helped me cope…sometimes. Right now what I wanted to hear was "My Immortal" by Evanescence. I knew it would describe exactly how I felt right now. I skipped the first verse and then pressed play and listened to the lyrics as Bella's face danced across my mind.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I stopped the song after that verse and fiddled with the necklace Alice got me again. It had a 24kt gold chain and it had four 24kt gold hearts and a golden key attached to the chain. One of the hearts turned out to be a locket and when I opened it, it had a picture of me on one side and Bella on the other. I smiled and whispered "Thank you Alice." I closed the locket after that and replayed the second verse. I smiled as I started to sing along to the song with my angelic voice. Pictures of Bella's face and the necklace still dancing across my mind.