"I-I don't know."He finally said. As soon as the words entered my mind, my heart dropped. I didn't know what to say; but then again, what else could I expect from James. He had everything he had ever wanted, so why would he want me? I sat up, pushed the sheets off of me and stood up.
"Austin! Wait!" Said James, as he grabbed my arm.
"Let go." I say, refusing to look at him. He sighs.
"Austin, I don't know if I love you because I don't know what love is. I just don't know." James sighed again, putting his head in his hands. I sit back down, on the edge of the bed.
"James, love is when you lose your breath with every kiss; it's when you can't stop thinking of them at any given moment. It's when you'd give anything for them. Absolutely anything." I replied.
James sat silent for a while. "Austin, this whole time you've been here for me. Whenever I needed you. And I thank you for that. I think, I don't love you yet, but I will. Eventually. Or very soon. I definitely care about you. Deeply. I'm too scared to say I love you because there's a chance I don't mean it. I can't take that chance. Not with you. You're too important to me. "As he spoke he began to cry. I was shocked by his sincerity.
"James, is all that true?" I ask cautious. I couldn't wrap my head around what he said. His voice enchanted me, and soon we were kissing, in each others arms. His arm snaked its way around me I grabbed his wrists.
"James, no I can't make love to you not knowing that you if you love me or not." I say. It took great amount of effort to stop James. Not because he fought me, but because I wanted it too.
"Then I'll fall in love. Right now."
He closed his eyes and squeezed his lips together. It took large amounts of self-control not to laugh at him. I kissed him gently as our lips parted I stand up again.
"It's OK for you not to love me yet." You don't have to be in love with me right now. I just don't want to make love to you, when it means more to me than it does to you. So I'll go now, and call you later. Or something. "I say turning to leave.
"That sounds like a good idea." He responds quickly.
I sigh, kiss his forehead, then leave