Okay so let's skip past the boring parts of my life and go right into when I started training to get into the Survey Corps. I'd vowed as soon as I saw my mom die that I'd fucking destroy every last god damn Telie in existence. Like, all of them. Forever. Until they're all dead. For good.

Right now there's some jackass with no hair screaming at us. Whatever, man. He yells at Armin, too, and right when Baldy says his name, I do everything in my power to hold down at laugh.

"ARMIN ARLERT."

God, Armin's such a tool. My face remains totally straight, I'm not even flinching as the drill instructor says something about his parents cursing him with such a horrible name. And really, it's true. Like fuck, even Armin's name is annoying. But as least his hair's cool… Hm… Couple Armin's hair… With Mikasa's scarf…

I snap out of my own daydream as the dude walks past, not even glancing in my direction. I hold down a smirk. Yeah, you better walk on, Baldy. I'll fuck u up until your hair grows back.

This training is gonna be a piece of cake.

At least, that's what I tell myself and everyone else before the stupid fucking 4D gear hands my own ass to me. Shit I hate this stuff. And yeah, I just said 4D gear. I'm not totally sure how it works, but it's said that only when you've mastered it, you start seeing things from other dimensions. Like unicorns flyin' around or you start smelling leprechaun farts. I'm not totally sure about that last one, but hell if I'm not gonna see a unicorn!

I clench my hand into a fist. Those five extra seconds I spent training today is totally gonna pay off! IM GONNA BEAT THIS MANUEVER GEAR BRING IT ON, YOU HEAP OF TELIE-KILLING GARBAGE

As soon as I'm raised up, I swing down, slamming my face into the ground. How the hell my neck doesn't break, I don't know, but I have enough conscious to look up. Look up and see everyone staring at me. Even Armin and Mikasa. Mikasa just looks disappointed, and Armin's eyes are wide and shadowy.

"SHUT UP, ARMIN!" I yell, watching him flinch.

"E-Eren…" he replies softly.

"CA-DET!" Baldy screams at me. "YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN FAILED THE ODM TRAINING. You, and only you, are the biggest god damn disgrace in. Humanity's. existence‼!"

As he's blabbing, I'm pushing myself to my feet. It doesn't take him too long to notice something around my waist-level, and whatever it is is enough to cut him off mid-scream. He reaches towards me, and I put my hands out to try and push his weird fingers away.

"CUT THE HOMOPHOBIC BULLSHIT, CADET!"

My ODM belt is suddenly grabbed, and yeah I can see the broken piece. SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS BROKEN THIS WHOLE TIME MY NECK COULD'VE BEEN SNAPPED I COULD'VE DIED AND THEN WHERE WOULD WE BE, HUMANITY? HUH?!

SHIT!

Whatever. So anyway, a few days pass before we're set up in Trost. Mandating the wall or whatever. Some bitch that was stupid enough to eat a damn potato in front of Baldy was blabbing about taking food from the Commander. I blocked most of the drabble out, scanning the inside of the walls. The area we've all been confined to. Born into. A great majority of us don't even know what it's like outside the walls.

My hand clenches into a fist, nails digging into the skin of my palm. Suddenly, I feel breath on the side of my neck. I jump away, hand positioned at the hilt of my ODM blade.

Potato Girl is grinning at me, drool stuck to the front of her chin. I grimace at the disgusting sight, watching as she pulls a shaky inhale in, her hands rising to hang limply in front of her like some kind of damn dinosaur.

"You… You have food, don't you?"

"What?" I respond, my foot shifting back. "No, I don't have any food!"

She takes a step forward. "But… I… I can smell it on you!"

My expression falters for just a moment, nerves getting the best of me. I steel myself again, hiding the vulnerability before she can really see it.

"Everyone is totally poor. We're in poverty. How can I have any food?"

She shifts forward towards me, giving a light airy laugh as her mouth opens a bit wider. "I dunno…" she almost sings the words. "Maybe it's those friends you have. The blonde one seems like he'd always keep some cheese on him."

I frown at her, slightly concerned. "I know Armin looks like a mouse, but you don't have to take it that far…"

Distantly, as an echo somewhere across town, I hear an irritatingly familiar shout. "THANK YOU, EREN!"

I turn towards the sound, wondering how in the fuck—

I'm suddenly tackled. I roll with the force, almost immediately feeling the edge of the wall pass by me. Ah, shit.

My hand finds the edge, the impact jerking my body swiftly. A hand grabs my foot. I look down, meeting those crazed eyes behind those glasses again. Seeing that constant drooling grin. She's climbing up, hands gripping fistfuls of my pants and pulling herself towards me.

"W-Where's the food?" she asks. "Where's the food?"

"Oh my GOD, Sasha!" Connie's voice came from above us, and I can tell he has his hands on his shaved hair. He always does that when he was stressed, which was a lot of the time. "What in the f—"

A loud, loud sound of lightning striking makes his cursing inaudible. From my place hanging on the edge of the wall, I see the Telie's face. Large, looming over us with its stupid cutesy features. DAMMIT I HAVE TO STOP DOING THAT. MONSTERS. MONSTERS, EREN!

"EREN!"

FUCK, ARMIN! HOW?!

I grit my teeth. No time to worry about Armin's apparent supernatural hearing ability now; I had my first Telie to kill.

I let go of the wall, hearing Sasha wail as we begin falling. She even scrambles up to hold onto my back, and I don't bother to pull her off. She was a teammate, after all. And part of me was thinking we'd need all the warm bodies we could get.

I draw my swords, feeling the air continue to whip past us. As I shoot upwards and begin to swing us towards the top, I let my inner self come out, screaming commands at my teammates from above.

"ALRIGHT, BITCHES! LET'S FUCKING DO THIS! TEAR THESE TELIES TO THE GOD DAMN BONE! LET'S MOVE IT‼"

As I shoot up past the edge of the wall and do a cool 720 spin, I hear my teammates sound off in agreement. I land on my feet, still spinning. When we stop, I'm turned in the opposite direction I want to be in DAMMIT

I quickly spin around, staring at the Telie above me. Sasha is clinging to my back like some kind of baby monkey, and I hear her scream RIGHT IN MY EAR. OKAY SASHA YOU'RE GETTING KILLED FIRST.

I take in a breath and slowly let it out, focusing on the Telie staring back at me.

Black, beady eyes and a constant grin. I was going to slash every inch of it up.