Britta shook her head as she pulled the paintball clips from the quivering hands of the guy she just shot, the others in his group also handed up their clips. She loved paintball as much as the next gal, but they'd all promised each other that this year they wouldn't participate. For realsies. She even scheduled a shift during the opening social so she wouldn't be tempted. Yet here she was.
It was Jeff's fault of course, as were most things. But in this case she didn't have any ire stored up for him. Not really. She'd known for a while that something had changed between Jeff and Annie since just before she left. Britta found herself strangely okay with the entire thing. But now it was looking to fall apart and she knew Jeff was probably not fully in control of his own actions.
She couldn't let that happen. Not just for what Jeff might do to the school, but what he might do to himself. He had taken it hard when Annie didn't come back after her first three months, but instead of sliding further down to darker habits... he changed. Britta caught him actually teaching his class once. When she asked him about it he mentioned having spoken to Annie and how she'd given him some ideas on the lesson. He had even taken charge in some of the Improve Greendale Committee meetings. It was like he was trying to make a better version of himself for Annie to come back to.
And Britta didn't want to see the old Jeff any time soon. But she would if she couldn't help him. Because as bad as things were now... The worst part was yet to come. And Britta couldn't decide if she should be the one to break the bad news, or if she secretly hoped that she wouldn't have to and Jeff would see Annie's latest status update on his own.
But she would have to deal with that when it happened. Right now she had more pressing issues.
"You," Britta motioned her gun at the one student in this little group she hadn't shot yet. "What's this year's theme?"
"What?"
"The theme jackass. Every paintball game has one. What's this years?"
"P...pirates."
"Good lord they're reaching now," Britta rolled her eyes. "You got a handkerchief in your pocket there, you used it at all?"
"No?"
"Good, give it to me."
"Why?"
"Because the theme is pirates and I need to start looking the part."
The student handed Britta his handkerchief and she proceeded to tie it to her head. The students she shot began limping away but she wasn't completely done yet.
"One more question, any of you taking law?"
"I am?" one of them said.
"Professor Winger, you seen him?"
"Teachers can't paintball."
"I don't think that's stopping him this year," Britta said. "And right now I may be the only one that can. You seen him?"
"Magnitude mentioned seeing him heading toward his classroom."
"Good, now get the hell out of here, paintball is going to get ugly this year. Savvy?"
"What?"
"Getting in character," Britta said, turning to make her way towards Jeff's office.
"Well you just Britta'd it."
Britta let out a huff through her nose then spun around and shot him in square in the chest.
"Only my friends get to say that to me."
...
His clothes were torn and he'd already bruised himself in several places but he didn't care. He'd fought his way past scores of students and janitors but he didn't care. He'd even threatened to eat Redhead student's soul if he didn't buzz off, but that didn't matter.
He'd finally made it back to his room. At least he'd managed to accomplish one thing today. Now that that was over he full intended to reach his next more important goal. That one was a the bottom of a bottle.
How could he have been that dumb? To actually think that there was a chance for them after everything that happened? Annie was young, and had her whole life ahead of her. She clearly had made the decision to actually enjoy that rather than spending her time with a guy that would just drag her down in the end.
And he deserved it. He had known how he felt about Annie for a very long time yet he didn't act. Deep down he knew before he put on Borchart's love headphones and he didn't act. Then, after he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved her, he sat on that knowledge for a whole year. He could remember no less than twelve times that he should have said something, but each time he either got wrapped up in his own issues or chickened out. Annie deserved better than him.
It was time to drown his sorrows and let the contents of that briefcase both mock him and console him with what might have been. None of it mattered now. Annie said specifically not to wait for her. What other way was there to interpret that besides her letting him know that now she was letting him go?
Then he opened the door and the resigned calm he'd lulled himself into at reaching his door fled.
It was gone.
The students... those goddamned students had taken it!
Without even realizing it, Jeff had ejected a clip from his paintball gun and slid in a new one. He would find the punk or punkette that took his briefcase and shoot so much paint at them there would be a silhouette shaped like them against he wall.
He was about to spin around and charge back into the school but a sudden slow clap held him in place. He looked back into his room and spotted Chang. He could only conclude that the briefcase had given him such tunnel vision that he somehow missed the diminutive Chinese man dressed like a pirate.
"About to get some payback Jeff?"
"Who took it Chang?"
"Oh I don't know," Chang shrugged. "It was gone when I got here... we're talking about a sandwich right?"
"My briefcase!"
"Oh, no idea there either," Chang said. "But I can tell you're about to do something crazy and stupid, and I want in!"
"No undergrad or co-ed wins!" Jeff said feeling a thrill of anger running up his spine. "It's teachers verses students!"
"Chang yeah!"
"Come on Ben you're not even trying anymore!"
"Fine, fine, I'll do better next time. You were saying?"
"Let's burn this shithole down."
...
She had gotten a little cocky. She admitted that now. There was no real way of getting around it. Sure, she knew she was still the only one around that could take Jeff out of the game if he was doing what she thought he was doing, but that didn't mean she could take on an entire crew of pirates armed with paint pistols. Particularly when that crew was headed by Mike and all of them were one hundred percent committed to the theme.
"Yarrrr!" Mike screamed as he and his crew blasted paint at the overturned table she hid behind. "Up yer ballllls!"
Britta rolled her eyes, she had to find a way out of this. She was not getting taken out of the game by a meat-head like this. Of course any time she inched just a little to peek around the corner, she would almost get clipped by a paintball, so either she would need to make a crazy dash for it or wait them out.
"Captain!" she heard one of them yell. "I just scored more ammo from the math club!"
"Load em up boys!"
Britta let out a disgusted grunt. So much for waiting them out. She had to be smart, she had to be unexpected, she had to do something that would really change the game and give her a chance of getting out.
"Hey Mike!" she called out.
"That's Captain Mike chick-dude!"
"Fine Captain Mike... time out okay?"
"What?"
"Time out, I'm calling a time out."
"I don't get it."
"You know, a time out! Like when two people are playing a game and-"
"I know what a time out is boob-face. I'm saying I don't get why you think there are time outs in paintball!"
"Because deep down you're a... decent guy?"
That was met with riotous laughter.
"Oh come on! I'm not even here to play! I'm trying to find Jeff Winger!"
"Who?"
"You know who Jeff is! He beat the crap out of you a few years ago!"
"I think she's talking about the Vengeful Phantom," she heard one of Mike's crew say quietly.
"You're looking for the Vengeful Phantom!" Mike said. "Are you nuts?"
"Who... someone please explain during this time out we're taking!"
"We're not taking a time out!" Mike shouted. "And someone explain the Phantom!"
"Of all the legends of the sea The Phantom is the spirit of Vengeance," one of them said in hushed tones. "They say he roams the halls with another, smaller but just as deadly spirit at his side. He seeks to find and shoot those that stole his buried treasure, all that cross his path die instantly, cast into Davy Jones Locker room and are given automatic f's if they're in his class."
"That's not how the story goes," another said. "He's searching for his lost love, the one that left him and promised to return, only she never did, now he seeks to make all hearts as black as his and to shoot anyone that may have joy yet."
"Look it doesn't matter which version!" Mike said. "The point is that to meet the Phantom is to meet pretend death!"
Britta shook her head. "How are there legends of the sea? The game has been going on for two hours!"
"Don't question sea lore sea-bitch!" Mike shouted.
"Oh that is it! Time out is over!" Britta cocked her pistols and whipped around. She didn't care if this took her out of the game. She was going to make sure that she took this asshole with her.
Even as Mike's crew leveled their guns at her, shots rang out, but none of them came at Britta. Instead she watched as they lurched forward, groping a their backs where they'd been hit. Britta tried to see what was going on but Mike was still in and firing at her.
In a burst of motion she rolled to the ground, feeling the air of a paintball whiz past her head. The moment she curled back upright she fire, hitting Mike squarely between the legs. The bully fell to his knees in pain and Britta stood triumphant.
But she didn't care, she was more concerned with who had so expertly taken out Mike's crew. They slowly began to disperse, a couple of them dragging Mike away. Once they finally cleared out, Britta got a good look at her ally.
"Abed!" she jumped at him, ignoring the fact that he was dressed head to toe as Jack Sparrow. She hadn't yet seen him since he got back. Abed laughed and wrapped her in a hug. She cringed just slightly when his arm skirted over a gash on her elbow. The price of paintball inspired acrobatics while wearing a sleeveless pirate blouse.
"I thought you were sleeping," she pulled away.
"My body could feel that paintball was happening," Abed said. "Like a sixth sense or spider-sense... let's go with spider-sense."
"So you just happened to have a Jack Sparrow costume lying around?" Britta eyed him up and down.
"I went to the Dean's office," Abed said. "For whatever reason he didn't want this costume. I figured I'd grab it before Jeff did."
At mention of Jeff, Britta's smile faded. "You haven't seen him have you?"
"No," Abed said. "But I know he's here and I know why."
"Annie's text," Britta said.
"Or her status update."
"I don't know if he's seen it yet," Britta said. "I think he destroyed his phone again."
"We need to find him before he gets a chance to connect then," Abed said. "Some of the students have been talking about buried treasure, smart bet says Jeff is going to be there."
"Let's go," Britta said.
"We should take care of your cut first," Abed said. "We're not far from Jeff's office, we could clean the wound with some of his scotch, he might even forgive us later."
"If he did have scotch there and we used it, he definitely wouldn't forgive us," Britta said. "But he cleaned out his liquor supplies a few months ago."
"Jeff's not drinking at school anymore?" Abed raised a brow. "Character development."
"Chyaw," Britta nodded. "Character development that's about to go out the window if we can't find him before he does something stupid."
...
"This is so stupid!" Duncan yelled out, leaning his entire weight against his office door. "I'm a Professor! I'm not playing!"
"Everyone plays!" Todd bellowed through the wood. "If you're on campus you're a target."
"I don't even have a gun!"
"Says the man working for the East India Trading Company!"
"That doesn't mean a thing! The stake my ancestors had company went defunct when it did!"
Todd just laughed and slammed the door again. Duncan pressed on shoulder against the door while trying to stretch out the other one in an attempt to grab a chair, or a bookshelf... anything he could use to barricade the door with. How was skinny Todd this crazy strong?
Just when Duncan didn't think he could hold out anymore, he heard a manic laugh... one that he recognized all too well. Moment's later Todd screamed out in pain while thuds of paintballs reverberated on the door. Duncan took the opportunity to grab his chair and jam it against the knob.
In the end, it didn't matter, the person behind the door turned out to be even stronger than Todd and the door burst open moments after Duncan placed the barricade. To his surprise it wasn't some roided up student but Jeff and Chang, both dressed assorted pirate gear that looked like they'd taken it off of dead students. Jeff looked especially formidable with his torn, castaway, looking shirt showing everyone just how jacked he was.
"Oh Jeff, you scared the biggie out of me!" He looked them over again, noticing the insane glee in Chang's eye and the haunting anger in Jeff's. "In fact you still are... if you'll excuse me I need to slink my way to the bathroom."
Chang threw a gun at him and Duncan reflexively fumbled for it until he caught it and looked at them in confusion.
"You're joining my crew Duncan," Jeff said.
"You're crew... no... no Jeffery I can't do that. I've never participated in paintball and I'm not about to start."
Chang aimed his own weapon at Duncan.
"I said you're joining my crew," Jeff said.
"Y... you're press-ganging me!?"
"Call it whatever you want," Jeff said. "We're changing the game. Teachers vs students. Time to show these snot nosed brats what a real paintball game looks like. Come on Duncan, think about it. Every year you come here in the vain hope that one, just one of your students will really actually understand what you're trying to say. And yeah, a lot of them take one credit then leave and you don't care. But there are other ones that take your first class, then your advanced class, then your even more advanced class and you find yourself actually learning their names and you get excited when they answer questions and when they look at you that certain way that makes you feel like the teacher you always wanted to be until they leave you to go to some other better college with even handsomer professors even after you told them how much you admire their work and how empty your classroom will be without them! Don't you want to get some pay back for that?"
"I do!" Duncan growled and stood up a little straighter. "But to be clear I have no bloody idea what you were talking about just now beyond hurting students."
"Good enough!" Jeff yelled and threw an eye patch into Duncan's hands. "We're going to rendezvous with the Ladder's professor next."
"I love that guy!" Chang said.
"He's stone cold," Jeff said. "Let's go."
"Oh Jeffery, before we go," Duncan said. "I was wondering if I needed to bring anything extra to the welcome home mixer you were planning."
"You were planning a mixer?" Chang said.
"It was just supposed to be a Core Four thing," Jeff muttered. "Let's go."
"Yes but will Annie be bringing her new beau?"
"What?"
"Sorry that's an old word for significant oth-"
"I know what it means Duncan. What the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh you haven't seen? Oh my..." Duncan said tried stepping around him. "You know I think I know where the Ladders professor makes his lair."
Jeff grabbed Duncan's collar and pushed him back in the room. "What. are. you. talking. about. Duncan?"
"Annie's facebook status... it... you know she updated it..."
"What did she say?" Jeff loomed over him and his eyes widened with a touch of madness. "Did she miss her flight or something!? Tell me she missed her flight Duncan."
"It wasn't a post. Just an update... the one that says she's... 'in a relationship'."
Duncan, a registered psychologist knew how to recognize the stages of grief. That was psychology 101. What he didn't expect was to see most of them play out all at once in Jeff's face. The way his friend's eyes fell, then lit up in anger, then darted back and forth as he tried to process it before finally turning steely gazed and distant.
"Makes sense," Jeff said. "Let's go, the Ladder's Professor isn't going to help us destroy the school by himself."
"Um... Jeff I'm not sure you being in the game is healthy-"
"Then we're going to find rum," Jeff said. "Lots of it."
"Rum... you say? Oh what the hell, I never did like this school anyway."