Chapter 2: Saying Goodbye

Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything you recognise belongs to CBS and the producers of NCIS.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed and checked the story as favourite. The sniper scene makes an appearance, I changed a few things so it makes sense, also in this story Shannon's father passed away instead of him and Joann getting divorced. I'm sorry if it might bother you. Grammar errors are mine.

Enjoy*

Jethro groaned as he rolled towards the warm body next to him. He pulled her closer, burying his face in her hair, inhaling the smell of her shampoo. He nuzzled the back of her neck, placing soft kisses on the exposed skin. The redhead groaned and swatted at him half heartedly. He chuckled softly and placed a kiss in her hair. He entwined his fingers with hers and held onto her tightly.

"Gibbs… you're squishing me." Shannon moaned softly at the tight hold her husband had on her. She could feel him tense momentarily before easing his grip. She turned in his arms and placed a small hand on his chest, drawing invisible patterns on his shirt. "What's wrong?"

Jethro opened his eyes slowly, the usually crystal blue eyes slightly grey from a deep slumber. He gave her a lazy smile before shaking his head, "It's nothin' Shan."

She lifted one eyebrow at him, a clear indication that she didn't believe him at all. She touched his cheek softly, stroking his morning stubble. "Don't lie to me Jethro Gibbs. You tossed and turned the whole night, and I know it was a nightmare, so spill it."

Jethro smiled before clearing his throat, "Dreamed you were taken from me and Kel, leaving us all alone." His voice was strained as he spoke.

Shannon frowned, leaning in to kiss him softly, he pulled her flush against him. Pulling away, she took his face in both hands and kissed the tip of his nose. "I'll never leave you Gibbs," she rested one hand over his heart, "I'm always here."

Jethro nodded and leaned down to kiss her again, savouring the feel of her lips against his. He rolled on top of her, kissing her slowly. She clutched his shoulders, and he could feel the faint sting from the burns on his skin.

Shannon's small hand slipped inside his shirt, caressing the scar on his hip tenderly.

They were interrupted by a loud cry coming from down the hall. Jethro pulled away resting his forehead against hers, she smiled at him while stroking his cheek, she gently pushed him off of her.

"I'll get her." Shannon pressed one last kiss to his lips before disappearing out the door.

Jethro listened to the fading footsteps. He scrubbed one hand over his face yawning loudly, he was in desperate need of a good cup of coffee. Rolling onto his back, he waited for his wife to come back with their daughter. The crying seemed to continue for several minutes, he lifted his head off the pillows making sure he'd seen Shannon head in the right direction.

Getting out of bed he padded down the hall to the nursery. The soft yellow walls created a calm effect in the room, calming even his racing heart. He made his way toward the bassinet that stood near the window, allowing the sun to heat the tiny bed. He peaked over the side, expecting to see Kelly, only to find it was empty. He scratched the back of his neck and trudged towards the stairs, panic slowly starting to set in his body, the crying seemed to be closer than it actually was.

"Shannon!" He called above the crying, hoping to find where his wife and daughter was.

Jethro rounded the corner of the living room, Kelly's cries were becoming louder and he was starting to feel more terrified by the fact that he couldn't find her. He spotted her car seat on the kitchen table, facing the window that overlooked the back yard. He hurried towards it, hoping that he'd be able to comfort her until he found Shannon. He shuffled around the table, pulling the blanket off that was covering it.

His heart stopped.

His baby girl wasn't there either. His heart pounded in his ears, he couldn't have missed Shannon coming down the stairs or passing through the living room. He turned on his heel and rushed towards the stairs.

"Shannon! Where are you, where's Kelly?"

The crying had reached a deafening volume.

Jethro shot up in bed, his breathing heavy, his hands shaking with panic. His eyes darted around the room, trying to remember where he was. He swallowed heavily. The cries were still surrounding him, drawing him out of his stupor. Throwing back the covers he rushed towards the bassinet at the foot of the bed.

A sense of relief washed over him when he saw Kelly inside, her face red from crying. Picking her up quickly, he cradled her close to him offering her comfort for the time being. "It's okay Kelly, Daddy's here." She turned her face towards him trying to find something to suckle on. Jethro stood motionless for a while, trying to get his brain to function. He was thrown off by seeing Shannon in his dreams, feeling her so close to him, so real. Kelly's whimpering broke through his muddled thoughts, looking down he saw her sucking on his shirt.

The house was slightly chilly in the early April morning, making it just that more unpleasant to be up early in the morning. Jethro hurried down the stairs towards the kitchen, Kelly still firmly clutched in his arms. He darted around the kitchen trying to locate a clean bottle to make her formula in. The baby became increasingly restless as he struggled to measure the correct amount of formula. He managed to calm her down, rocking her gently from side to side.

He sank down on the couch, relaxing briefly. He offered the bottle to Kelly, she stared up at him as she latched onto the bottle, drinking thirstily – her one hand clutched his pinky, the other one twisted in his t-shirt. Jethro stroked her soft curls, smiling down at her, he wondered if she knew how much comfort she offered him over the last few days since coming back to DC, to the house he had once shared with her mother. His heart thudded painfully as Kelly wrinkled her nose, looking just like Shannon, he took a shuddering breath fighting the onslaught of emotions.

Kelly pushed her bottle away, full for time being, she turned towards her father again and snuggled into his chest. Jethro tapped her back softly, making sure any wind that could bother her came out.

Jethro looked around the dimly lit living room. It was exactly the way they left it before moving down to Camp Pendleton. It was more lived in and more personally decorated than their base house. Looking down at Kelly, Jethro wondered if coming back to Washington was such a good idea, what if Shannon wanted to be buried back in Stillwater, it wasn't something they ever really discussed. He hoped to find the answer in his daughter's kind grey eyes.

Lifting her higher he pressed a soft kiss to her temple, causing her to gurgle softly. He offered her his finger so she could wrap her hand around it. She grabbed his finger immediately, pulling it towards her mouth. She wrinkled her nose slightly as she tasted his finger, resulting in her father laughing softly. She held onto his finger even more, snuggling into him and letting out a soft yawn.

Jethro sighed and closed his eyes for awhile. He listened to Kelly cooing to herself softly, his panic was still gnawing away at the back of his mind, reminding him that she could have been taken away from him as well. He'd given no thought as to what could have caused his nightmare, all he thought about was the paralysing fear of waking up to discover his daughter was gone as well. The small voice in his head reminded him that he'd loved her before she was born. He'd loved his wife unconditionally, but the little girl had stolen his heart the first time he saw her grainy sonar picture.

There was a light knock on the front door, breaking the silence that had seemed to surround the house. Jethro grit his teeth in annoyance, he wasn't up to visitors a day before his wife's funeral. He made sure Kelly was still fast asleep in her car seat before trudging towards the front door.

He stood in front of the door for a while, grateful for the curtain that Shannon had insisted on hanging in front of the oval window. Yanking the door open, Jethro came face to face with his mother-in-law. They stared at each other for a while, neither knowing what to say.

Joann Fielding squared her shoulders, looking the man in front of her up and down. Taking in his appearance she wondered how many nights sleep he had had since finding out. He was far from clean shaven, his cropped hair clearly hadn't been combed in a while, and his blue eyes were dull and accentuated by the dark circles around them. Her anger dissipated somewhat. Placing a hand on his cheek she stroked his beard softly.

"You look like hell Jethro."

Jethro only looked at her, a lot of things raced through his mind. Had she seen Kelly when she was born? Was she still blaming him for taking her daughter away from her? Maybe he should have thought about all these things when he had called her to tell her when the funeral would be. He licked his lips and stepped aside allowing her inside, he took her luggage from her and placed it at the foot of the stairs.

Joann walked into the living room, her eyes already scanning the area for signs of her granddaughter. If Jethro couldn't look after himself she was more than sure he couldn't look after an infant. She spotted the car seat with the small baby inside and walked towards it. She saw Kelly fast asleep, giving the baby a once over she was temporarily pleased to find that the little girl was in fact well looked after.

Jethro pushed past Joann and took his spot on the couch, resuming his visual over his daughter. He met the older woman's glare and gave her one of his own. He chose to stay quiet, she'd start ranting sooner or later. She sat down next to him, resting her hand on his knee and squeezed. She turned towards him, her eyes shining with tears.

"She's grown so much in a month." Jethro only blinked, he couldn't answer.

Joann removed the soft blanket, revealing the sleeping baby some more. She stroked the bottom of her foot, making Kelly groan in annoyance.

"She was smaller?" Jethro's voice was raspy, he cleared his throat. He leaned forward and adjusted the knitted cap on the girl's head, making sure she was still warm.

Joann squeezed his knee gently, nodding in confirmation. She felt a strange sense of sadness and sympathy towards him for missing Kelly's birth, but it was still greatly over shadowed by the anger she felt towards him. She had always liked Jethro from the moment Shannon had invited him for dinner one night, comforted that Mac would of liked him, but it all faded when he had left with her daughter.

Jethro rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the irritation his shirt was causing on the burns on his shoulders. He ran a hand through his hair, he couldn't grasp the fact that Kelly had been smaller at birth. She was already tiny at just one month old, tinier than any baby he'd ever seen. He covered her with the blanket once again.

He propped an arm on his knee, resting his chin in his palm. He cast a sideways glance at the woman next to him before looking around the room. The atmosphere between them couldn't be more tense. The last time they'd seen each other she'd blamed him for things that were out of his control. He could feel her eyes burning holes in the back of his head as she glared at him.

"What?"

"Three years since the last time I saw you and you can't even apologise for taking my daughter from me." Jethro looked at her indignantly.

"She was my wife. I wasn't going to leave her in Stillwater." he growled through clenched teeth.

"You forced her to go with you, she didn't want to leave."

"Bullshit! I'd never force her to do anything." Joann's eyes widened in shock, she hadn't expected him to be aggressive.

Squeezing his eyes shut to fight off the pounding headache, he scratched his beard in irritation, trying to calm down. He looked down at himself. He'd been wearing the same sweats for the last three days, his t-shirt probably longer. His beard was at least a week old. He rested his head in his hands, his lack of sleep was making him more irritable than usual.

Joann touched his shoulder, but he shrugged her off, she let out a frustrated huff and placed her hand on his shoulder again, making him face her. His eyes were guarded, and trying to avoid her gaze.

"Why don't you go clean up."

Instead of answering he just stood, checking to make sure Kelly was warm enough. He trudged to the stairs, trying to will his tired body to climb the stairs. He made it halfway before Joann's voice stopped him, his back facing her.

"Then we can talk." He ignored her, continuing further up the stairs.

Joann Fielding took in her surroundings. It was the first time she saw the house her daughter had called home for the last few years. The last she had seen her daughter was in a hospital room, tired and weak from labour. She had hid her anger while visiting, but she had harboured hatred towards Jethro. He'd taken Shannon away from her, and now she was gone forever and she couldn't help but blame him.

Joann let out a shaky breath, wiping at the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She looked at the little girl sleeping peacefully in her car seat. She had expected to find the poor girl crying and screaming while her father was passed out drunk, trying to handle the guilt, but she had been wrong. The little girl in question seemed to be content, her father although sober, she could still see the guilt eating away at him in those baby blues. Losing someone was never easy, but losing a child was unbearable. A new set of tears made their way down Joann's cheeks. Wiping her eyes quickly she made her way into the kitchen, hoping to find something to keep her thoughts occupied.

Jethro stared at himself in the mirror, now clean shaven and his hair combed. The dark circles were still there, the usually blue eyes almost grey. He did look like hell, or worse. The familiar nausea was churning his stomach again. He stared at the chain around his neck, two metal tags hanging from it, his wedding band joining them. The gold seemed to glow slightly, maybe it was fate taunting him. He looked himself in the eye again, the angry red marks on his shoulders caused his thoughts to wander.

The warm desert air was starting to cool down, like it usually did at night. A few men grumbled under their breath, a few curses being muttered. A couple of lights in the city were being turned on as the sun started to set, casting eerie shadows of the towering buildings.

Jethro pulled two laminated pictures out of his trouser pocket, holding them up in the last few rays of sunlight. He ran his fingers over them. He smiled at the woman staring back at him, reminding him that there was someone waiting back home. He turned his attention to the other picture, a proud smile gracing his features.

"It's one beautiful little girl you got there Gunny." Jethro's spotter spoke over his shoulder.

"You got that right." The other man smiled at him before taking his place near the window as well.

"I can't wait to get out of this hell hole. See my lady, at least until I get deployed again. What 'bout you Gunny, any plans after you get discharged?"

"Move back to DC, find a job." Jethro grumbled, putting the pictures back in his pocket.

"Sure as hell ain't gonna miss you Gunny." The young man muttered. Jethro snorted and moved in position, observing the city through his rifle's scope.

The inky sky was illuminated by several street lights, making it easy to spot any activity down in the streets. Jethro could see several Marines moving into position. His spotter frequently relayed information to the others of where possible ambushes might occur.

The quick flash of a light reflecting caught Jethro's eye. Repositioning himself he could see another sniper in the building across from them, a quick assessment made it clear that they weren't fighting for the same team.

There was a distinct whistle that broke the heavy silence before all hell broke loose.

Gunfire broke out between the buildings, making it easy to spot where several of their enemies were hiding. The ambush was looking more and more like a trap, as if they knew. One successful sniper shot after another rang out through the window.

Silence once again descended.

Jethro eased away from his perch near the window, taking a few seconds to assess the damage. He took in the amount of bullet holes that surrounded the window. He swallowed and unconsciously touched the photos in his pocket. A loud crash broke through his thoughts.

"Shit, their coming through the back door, we've got to get out of here Gunny." Jethro felt his muscles jump into action, carrying out the task of retreating with practised ease.

No amount of practice could help them to get away quick enough. There were several men shouting, their thunderous footstep coming up the stairs. Rushing through another door that led them to a second set of stairs, Jethro grabbed his spotter by the arm and dragged him down the stairs pushing him towards the front door.

He had his pistol trained on the stairs while ushering the somewhat stunned young boy out of the house. The rain of bullets stopped briefly, giving them an opportunity to run, but it was too late. There was a loud explosion, deafening anyone close by.

Silence.

Jethro pushed himself off the young man, his ears ringing and an intense pain slicing through his shoulders. His vision swam, he turned back towards the house, trying to determine what happened. The door they had crashed through was gone. The heavy smell of gasoline hanging in the air.

Jethro closed his eyes briefly, thanking whoever was watching over him that they had gotten away just in time. He was spared another day, and blessed that he'd get to see his family. He touched his pocket, feeling the pictures he always kept close. Opening his eyes his vision was more blurry than before, he could barely make out the man's face in front of him before he drifted into unconsciousness.

Was it fate that he had cheated death once again, or was he supposed to die that day, maybe then his wife would still be alive?

There was a knock on the door.

Jethro pulled his shirt over his head, opening the door quickly. He stared down at Joann who seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. He side stepped her and walked towards his bedroom. His bed was still unmade, he sank down on the mattress, resting his head in his hands. The throbbing of the oncoming headache was making itself known. He looked around the bedroom, noting how bare it appeared without Shannon's things laying around. He looked up when a dark shadow fell across the thick carpet.

"I made coffee and some breakfast. It looks like you could use some." Joann spoke sternly, leaving no room for an argument. She gave him a guarded look before turning and leaving him alone.

Jethro walked through the living room, glancing at his watch again, he stopped next to an empty car seat. Panic gripped his throat and he had to take a moment to stop himself from bursting out. He caught a glimpse of Joann holding Kelly and glared at the woman pacing around his kitchen. She stopped giving him one of her own glares.

Jethro balled his fists. He had to get control of his emotions, his mind was running in circles, the panic each time more intense than before. He took a deep breath, assuring himself that no one would take Kelly from him.

Jethro stared at the dark brew that filled the white mug, hoping to find something to say in the black liquid. He cleared his throat once again. He didn't mind the silence, but he was starting to feel uncomfortable with the way Joann kept looking at him, he tried avoiding her gaze as much as possible. He sipped the bitter coffee, taking a moment to appreciate the taste, it had been awhile since he had a good cup of coffee. Joann sighed drawing his attention to her.

"What?" A brief look of outrage flashed across her face at his abrasive tone.

"Don't you speak to me like that. Once was enough." Jethro grit his teeth.

"This is my house, I'll do what I want." Jethro mumbled into his coffee cup as he took another sip. He could see Joann bristle with anger. It was more than just grief she wanted to blame on him.

"I'm aware of that Jethro. Maybe if you had stayed in Stillwater none of this would have happened." Jethro's head snapped up at her words, his blue eyes cold.

"I had to leave. I never said Shannon couldn't visit, she made her own choices." Jethro spoke through gritted teeth, looking the older woman directly in the eye. "What happened to Shannon has got nothing to do with me being deployed."

"Maybe if you hadn't been deployed you could have saved her, stopped her from testifying." Joann's words dripped with anger and accusation.

Jethro only glared at her. He'd asked himself that question more than he had cared to admit. What if he hadn't been deployed, would he have been the one who saw the shooting? He saw Kelly stir in her sleep and another bothersome question seemed to consume his thoughts. What if he hadn't survived the explosion and both he and Shannon were gone?

Kelly started crying softly breaking his tumultuous thoughts. He stood and took her from her grandmother, she reluctantly let go of her, her expression slightly pained. Kelly looked up at her father, her cries quieting down. Her large grey eyes seemed to calm him down some. He took his seat once again, cradling the baby close to his chest. Jethro pressed a gentle kiss to her soft hair, causing her to gurgle softly.

Joann appeared next to him taking his empty plate and mug. She placed the dishes in the sink and stood next to him again, resting a hand on his shoulder. She could feel him tense and then relax somewhat when she didn't say anything. She felt bad for her earlier comment, the young man had put his life on the line to protect not only his family but his country as well, only to comeback and find his wife was dead.

Joann reached down and touched the little girl's cheek, stroking the soft skin. The silence that usually surrounded the house settled once again.

Dinner that night had been a stiff affair, more accusations had been flung at each other through the course of the day. Each one wanting to blame the other for something that was out of their control. Jethro looked at his daughter closely as she lay next to him on his large bed, raising one eyebrow as she stared up at him. He'd grabbed her as soon as possible, eager to get away from Joann and escape to the solitude of his bedroom.

Kelly gurgled as he massaged her stomach softly, trying to get her to fall asleep. She grabbed one of his fingers, like she usually did when he tried to get her to fall back asleep between feeding's. The past few nights he'd been more awake than asleep, trying to get in contact with one of his contacts down in Mexico and to find a way to go to Cuautla himself.

Jethro listened as Kelly's breathing evened out. He sat up and gently lifted her into his arms, holding her close for a little while. He traced his fingers across her face tenderly, committing each line to memory, Kelly groaned softly. Laying her down gently in her bassinet he covered her with the soft fleece blanket. He watched her a little while longer.

His various arguments with Joann raced through his mind. She had accused him of not understanding what she as a parent was going through, and although he had vehemently denied it, it did stay with him. Losing a loved one and losing a child were on completely different sides of the spectrum. Jethro rubbed a hand across his face roughly, he'd never admit it but Joann had been right. With time he'd get past losing Shannon, but the thought of losing his daughter was unbearable. It scared him that he might not always be able to protect her.

Jethro pulled at the tie that seemed to tighten more and more around his neck. He had woken up in a foul mood and had no intention of changing it. Kelly had kept him up all night, a welcoming distraction from all the nightmares, but a pain in the ass when Joann tried to tell him what to do. Kelly clumsily tugged at his tie tightening it even more around his throat. He took it out of her small fist and loosened the ever tightening noose.

Joann scowled next to him, clearly unimpressed with his mood. He rolled his eyes and stared out the darkly tinted window. The whole world was cut off from them. The car rolled to a stop, the large church looming over them. Jethro wrapped Kelly in her blanket tightly, an attempt to keep the cold wind at bay. In the distance he could see several people gathered together. The door opened and he waited for Joann to step out, tucking Kelly even closer to him he braved the outside world.

Joann walked next to him as they made their way towards the large group of people, each giving them a look of sympathy. Jethro squeezed Joann's hand softly, hoping she'd accept his brand of comfort. She looked at him, squeezing his hand in return, she met his eyes and the broken look in them was too much, she dropped his hand rushing towards the entrance to the church. Jethro stopped short of the large group of people, hoping they won't notice him, he wasn't in the best of moods to deal with them.

Across from him in the group of people he could see his father talking with someone. Jethro closed his eyes, he should have known Joann would have told Jackson when the funeral was. He didn't want to face his father, not now at least. The older man spotted him and Jethro grit his teeth painfully, holding Kelly to him even more.

Jackson Gibbs tugged at the woman's hand insistently, forcing her to go with him. He excused himself from the small group of people he was currently talking to and made his way through the crowd. The woman following behind him, although reluctantly. He could see his son tense more the closer he got, but his son's reluctance to talk to him was dampened when he noticed his granddaughter snuggled closely to her father. Jackson stopped in front of his son, his blue eyes meeting Jethro's.

"Leroy, it's good to see you despite, the circumstances." He was met with silence. Ignoring his son's behaviour he pulled the woman – who had accompanied him – so she stood next to him, he smiled at her and turned back to his son. "Eileen, this is Leroy."

Jethro looked at the woman's offered hand not bothering to return the gesture. Turning back to his father he glared at him in anger, but the older man seemed oblivious.

Jackson stepped closer and inspected the little bundle his son was holding. "She's more beautiful than I imagined." Jackson spoke softly as he looked at the little girl. "Got her daddy's hair colour."

Jethro pulled the blanket tighter around Kelly and adjusted her in his arms. She groaned at being bothered before seeking more heat. He nodded at the woman he now knew as Eileen, he met his father's eyes briefly before pushing past him making his way for the church.

The service had gone by in a blur, the only thing Jethro could focus on was the casket. He looked around the group of people that were gathered around the open grave, he'd long since stopped listening to what the priest was saying. Everyone appeared to be mourning, even the woman his father had introduced him to. He felt the anger in him rise again, he wondered how his father could move on after his mother had passed away.

Joann clasped his free hand tightly as the casket sank into the earth, he struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. He squeezed Joann's hand and she leaned against him, her sobs muffled in his shoulder. Jethro held Kelly just a little closer, she was his only comfort. He knew this was the closest he'd come to seeing his wife for the last time.

Jethro watched as several people broke away from the group, he'd made it clear that he didn't want to see any of them any time soon. Something that had caused a quiet tiff between him and his mother-in-law on their way in the car. Jackson looked at him, his eyes brimming with tears, he scowled at him and the older man turned his back to him walking away. Joann sniffed next to him touching his arm gently.

"I'll wait by the car." Jethro watched as she walked away before turning his attention back to the open grave.

His breathing was a little shaky, from either anger or sorrow, he wasn't really sure. He stared into the open grave, the roses contrasting with the dark wood as they lay on top of the casket. He felt conflicted to say goodbye to someone he loved, although he had lost fellow marines and friends, this wasn't the same. He cleared his throat looking up at the bright blue sky. He dropped the lone red rose onto the casket.

"I'm sorry Shannon."

Joann watched as Jethro made his way back to the car, his shoulders slumped slightly. She wiped at her eyes again. Jethro adjusted Kelly and continued walking, Joann looked from Jethro to the little girl, wondering if he was capable of raising a child. He had hardly showed any emotion during the short while she had been staying with him, it was only a matter of time before he started drowning himself in alcohol. She'd take Kelly if it came down to it, at least the little girl would then have a stable future.

The late afternoon sun filtered through the window heating the small dining room, Jethro sat in front of the window soaking up the heat. Kelly suckled on her bottle content with the warmth and calm atmosphere that surrounded her. The house was quiet, the only noise coming from outside. Jethro heard the shuffle of feet above him, alerting him of their guest. He sighed, mentally chastising himself for inviting the woman to stay.

Kelly pushed her bottle away and stared up at her father, the corners of her mouth twitched slightly, as if wanting to smile at her father. He kissed her forehead gently and cooed at her softly, his gruff voice causing her to gurgle back at him. He stroked her soft hair, the dark strands showing the hint of red in the sun light. The little girl grabbed one of her father's fingers, gripping it in her small fist.

The shrill ring of a phone broke the tranquil atmosphere. Jethro stood quickly, rushing towards the phone.

"Yeah Gibbs." There was a brief moment of static before getting an answer.

"Gunny, it's Luke." Jethro looked around the corner making sure he was alone.

"You get anything?"

"Yeah. Pedro Hernandez seems to be a regular down in Cuautla, you can find him at the local cantina. Any particular reason you lookin' for him?"

"Heard he's got some good lumber for building a boat."

"You and those boats."

Jethro gave a weak chuckle, "Yeah, is what Shan always said." The words were only just audible.

"I'm sorry for your loss Gunny." Jethro grunted his thanks and ended the phone call.

Jethro scrubbed a hand over his face. He leaned against the kitchen counter looking at nothing in particular. He turned towards the quiet footsteps that thumped across the wooden floors. Joann walked into the kitchen smiling at him tightly, she looked at Kelly before doing what she had come down for. Jethro shifted against the counter, walking up to her, he placed his hand on her shoulder.

Jethro passed Kelly to Joann, taking the glass from her. She was slightly surprised by his actions since he didn't allow anyone to come near the little girl. He filled her glass with cold water and placed it in front of her on the dining room table. He took a seat across from her, staring out the window for a while, he clenched his jaw a few times trying to find the right words to say. He cleared his throat and turned back towards Joann.

"Jethro spit it out before it chokes you." Jethro gave her a rare smile.

"Would you mind looking after Kelly for a few days? I still have a few things to do in California and I don't want to have her in a car that long."

Joann looked down at Kelly and smiled softly, "I don't mind one bit."

"Thank you." He leaned forward and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She returned the gesture, but he could see she was trying to find the real reason for him leaving for a few days.

The muted sounds of a one sided conversation travelled down the hall, spilling through the cracked door. Jethro tried to tune out the muffled voice, focusing on the task at hand. His bed was littered with various articles of clothing, amongst the small piles of clothes Kelly stared up at her father curiously.

Grabbing a few t-shirts and jeans he threw them into his duffel bag, zipping- and placing it near the door. He stared at the clothes that were strewn around Kelly, her hands fisted in one of his t-shirt, stretching the material slightly. He pried the shirt from her tight grip.

He started refolding the clothes, keeping a close eye on his daughter. She looked at him curiously, her eyes never leaving him. Jethro smiled at her and continued with his tedious task. The little girl's grey eyes met his and he felt as if she could see exactly what he was planning on doing. It brought a whole new light to his dark plan.

Was killing the man who killed his wife justifiable?

Sighing, he returned to folding his clothes and a few of Kelly's as well. The little girl yawned loudly, kicking her legs slightly. Jethro grabbed the warm bottle on the dresser offering it to her, she twisted away trying to avoid the bottle, with a little coaxing she finally started drinking.

Jethro paced around the room trying to get Kelly to fall asleep. Her eyes started drooping, but she still fought to close her eyes. Humming softly, he could feel her starting to lose her fight, her little body started relaxing and her breathing evened out. He pressed a kiss to her hair, holding her close. He felt bad for leaving her for the next few days, she hadn't been out of his sight since the moment he first held her, but he had to do this for his own sanity.

Jethro laid a sleepy Kelly down in her bassinet. She moaned, unimpressed that she wasn't being cuddled any more. He pulled the chain from his neck, holding it in his hand. The tags and gold band glinting in the light overhead. He placed the chain under her small pillow. A silent promise that he'd come back.

Long forgotten country music filled the pick-up, Jethro listened to the familiar tunes of some old country song. He hummed with the tune, trying to remember the first time he'd heard the song, doing anything to distract himself. He checked his watch trying to calculate whether Kelly was up or about to wake up screaming at the top of her lungs. He had no real concept of time, he was only focussing on what he was planning on doing.

Jethro swerved the pick-up to the left suddenly, missing a small animal. He cast a quick protective glance at the sealed bottle of Jim Beam on the passenger seat, satisfied when the amber liquid sloshed inside the glass instead of spilling onto the floor. His last intention was to drink himself to oblivion, but coffee wasn't cutting it any more, it only intensified the pain instead of numbing it. He could hear Joann bitching, but her opinion was the last thing on his mind.

He had passed through Mexico City during first light and was now almost halfway to Cuautla. Jethro's stomach clenched slightly in anticipation. He'd long since learned to trust his instincts, something he picked up in the Core, a gut feeling as he had come to call it.

He had killed men before- men he hadn't known or seen in his entire life- all he knew was that they had done something wrong and he was the punisher. Now things were different, he knew the face, knew what said face had done. He couldn't help the feeling of satisfaction that sat in the pit of his stomach, driving him to continue, that there'd be justice for the one he loved dearly. Something else seemed to bother him as well, what if his target had a family back home, an infant daughter who depended on him.

Jethro turned down the radio, silencing the old country tape. The last thing he needed was his conscience to deter him from his goal. A small board flicked past him and he could barely make out what it said. Cuautla 15 miles. A sense of determination rushed through his body, making him more eager to visit the city.

There was a small cantina on the outskirts of Cuautla, well hidden from the flood of tourists that seemed to dominate the city. A small dirt track leading to it, thankful for the directions Luke had given him over the phone, Jethro located the small shack of a building easily. The sun was high in the blue sky, an indication that it was high noon. Jethro wiped the sweat from his brow and adjusted his dark sunglasses, making his way towards the cantina.

A thick smoke cloud hung in the air of the small building, making it almost impossible to see. Jethro could feel his eyes burn from the smoke, causing him to close them for a moment. No one seemed to pay attention to him and he was silently thankful. Making his way towards the furthest corner, he slid into one of the empty booths. The table was still sticky from something that was spilled on it earlier, he pulled his face in disgust and opted for folding his arms across his chest.

Moments later a woman stood next to him, her clothing suggesting that she was there purely for male customers. Jethro order brusquely, while she wiped the sticky table off with an old rag. She nodded and walked away.

Staring out the window Jethro shifted in the leather seat again, the heat was slowly starting to get to him. He could feel small droplets of sweat roll down his back, causing his t-shirt to cling to him even more. The heat was different than what he had experienced on his deployments. It was sticky, the kind of sticky you only found in humid areas. He wiped his brow with the back of his hand, stopping the salty droplets from dripping into his eyes.

The waitress came back giving him the Corona he ordered, before attending to the men who seemed to find pleasure in harassing her. Jethro scanned their faces quickly, trying to see if he could see him. None of them resembled who he was looking for and so he turned his attention back to the window staring out it once again.

The sun was slowly starting to set, casting an orange glow across the landscape. There was a certain buzz about the small cantina. Each group of men and occasionally women seemed louder than the first. A radio blasted the little room with loud music.

Jethro rolled his head from side to side, releasing some of the tension in his neck. He sighed softly, the last five hours had given him time to think clearly about what he wanted to do. He had lost his resolve a few times- contemplating driving back home to be with his daughter- but then he'd realise she would grow up with out a mother and he'd be motivated once again. A fresh gust of wind blew through the small cantina, causing him to look up.

His hair was slicked back, his moustache as black as his hair. He made his way to the long bar and flopped down in a chair. Jethro balled his fists, his nails digging into the palms of his hands. He felt like killing him with his bare hands in front of everyone, watching as the life drained out of his dark eyes.

Jethro stood abruptly, marching towards the bar. He tried to act as normal as possible, paying his tab, he watched him out the corner of his eye. The waitress wanted to give him his change but he was already out the door, she shrugged her shoulders and returned to serving the customers.

The last bit of sunlight disappeared behind the horizon, leaving the world in almost complete darkness. Jethro drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, trying to keep busy. The door to the cantina flew open and a man stumbled out. Jethro didn't have to wonder who it was, he could recognise him anywhere. He waited patiently for him to get in his pick-up and waited a few minutes before following him.

They travelled down the road, turning onto yet another dirt road, the pick-up in front swerved dangerously. In the distance a few lights burned against a hill, a sign of some form of civilisation. Jethro switched off his headlights and followed the pick-up until it came to a rather quick stop.

The lights from earlier were in fact lights from a small village like residence. Pedro Hernandez stumbled out of his pick-up and headed up the few steps at the front door, before crashing through it in the same fashion than from the cantina. A few minutes passed by, until Jethro was satisfied that he won't leave, he started his old Ford and headed back to the cantina.

The grass rustled in the dead of night. Nature seemed to be more quiet than usual tonight, as if it knew what was coming. Jethro stopped for a while, listening for something that might have disturbed his surroundings. He clutched the case in his hand more forcefully before soldiering on. He stopped again when the grass rustled yet again. His muscles tensed, ready to fight whatever dared attack him.

A large rabbit hopped past him, stopping to look at him for a while. Jethro rolled his eyes before shooing the animal away with his boot. He rolled his shoulder before setting off again. He hadn't noticed any animal life a couple of days prior when he had staked out his sniper's nest. He had been more concerned about staying low in order not to be detected by someone.

Jethro stopped next to a large brush at the top of the hill. His nest was still intact.

He set down the case he was gripping, clicking open the clips. He ran his fingers over the rifle that stared back at him, caressing her. Taking it from the case he loaded it quickly before he placed her back in the silver case. Checking his watch he closed the lid and stared up at the black sky. His mind wondering back to a time where he'd stared up at the stars as well.

Their sweat slicked bodies were slowly starting to cool down in the cold night air. She shivered next to him, goosebumps braking out over her soft skin. Jethro tightened his arm around her, pressing her still hot body close to his.

"How are you not cold Gibbs?" Jethro looked down at Shannon, his blue eyes shining mischievously. He leaned down and kissed her languidly. He shrugged his shoulders, answering her question.

They lapsed into comfortable silence, the only sound coming from the radio in the pick-up. Shannon rubbed her cold toes against Jethro's calf, making him growl at her playfully. She giggled softly and pressed her cheek against his chest, and could feel his heart still hammering against his ribs. She sought out his hand and laced their fingers.

"Jethro, do you really have to go?" Shannon asked softly, hesitantly.

Jethro tensed slightly at her question. He shifted onto his side, looking down at her. He traced her lower lip gently before lifting her chin so she could look at him.

"Shannon, you know I can't back out now." He spoke as reassuringly as possible. They both knew this was coming sooner or later.

She gave a terse nod before pulling away from him. She turned onto her back looking up at the starry night sky. She wiped at her eyes quickly, trying to hide her tears. She could hear Jethro huff in defeat. The bed of the pick-up moved as he shifted towards her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

His warm naked skin pressed against hers, causing her to sigh. He wiped her tears, stroking her still flushed cheek. He leaned down, his lips pressing against the shell of her ear.

"I promise I will come back." Jethro whispered softly, drawing a shaky smile from her. Shannon pushed herself up on her elbows.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." They both knew she was right, there was no certainty that he would be coming back.

Jethro nodded and pulled her down on top of him, drawing a small squeal from her. His chest rumbled with laughter. They stared at each other for a while, enjoying the intimate moment between them.

Shannon kissed him forcefully, nipping at his bottom lip. He parted his lips and within no time he tasted her. Old country music muting their loud kisses occasionally.

The old and annoying music was something she had come to associate with the marine beneath her. Music that would now keep her company while he was deployed.

Jethro pulled away, his breathing somewhat laboured. He tangled his fingers in Shannon's crimson curls, keeping her close.

"I can't promise coming back, but when I do, I'll promise you this." Shannon's blue eyes met his as he laced his fingers with her left hand. "I'll give you a ring for that finger."

"I hope you plan on proposing better than that." They both laughed softly. "All I want you to promise me Jethro... is that you'll come back to me."

Jethro nodded before kissing her again.

Shannon snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his chest. He looked up at the inky sky and for the first time in a long while the stars seemed brighter than usual.

Jethro bolted upright, his eyes darting around. His shoulders were stiff, it had been a while since he had slept on the ground. He rubbed his neck easing some of the stiffness. The sun was just starting to rise over the few hills, heating everything in it's way.

Jethro pulled the silver case closer, opening it slowly. He looked at the rifle. He still had a good hour and a half before he had to make the shot.

Several things seemed to run through his mind, each more complex than the first. His gut told him it was the right thing to do, the only way he'd get justice for Shannon, but then his conscience would bother him again. Was he any better than the man who killed in the first place?

Pulling the two laminated pictures out of his breast pocket, he tried to make a final decision. Shannon stared back at him, her eyes shining as she held Kelly for the first time. It was the only picture he had of the two of them together. Anger flared through his veins once again, he'd never see his wife again and neither would his daughter. It seemed only fare to serve punishment the only way he knew how.

The early morning heat was steadily becoming unbearable, nature seemed to be affected as well. There was a steady breeze blowing, causing small dust clouds to form. In the distance there was a steady rumble coming closer. Jethro adjusted his scope, training it precisely where the dirt track emerged from behind the hill. The nose of a pick-up came into view.

Jethro held his breath, following it with the rifle, his still dead on. His heart thudded in his ears.

Glass shattered.

The distinct whistle from the rifle echoed in his ears.

Jethro screamed, his emotions crashing down on him.

The waves crashed loudly and washed out, the water level rising slowly. The sun was just starting to set. Jethro kicked the sand half heartedly, he was somewhere between drunk and almost passed out. He stumbled on the loose sand before toppling over, crashing down on his knees, the bottle of Jim Beam still clutched firmly in his hand.

He pushed himself off the ground, stumbling again once he was upright. He bent forward resting one hand on his knee, his head hung low. He waited for his world to stop spinning before trying to walk again. He made his way up the beach towards his old Ford.

He leaned against it heavily, watching as the last of the twilight disappeared, leaving him in almost complete darkness.

He snorted at the irony of the situation. His world was dark, it had gone dark the moment he heard his wife was dead, until the moment he had met his daughter. Taking another swig of the bourbon; he closed his eyes and sunk down against the pick-up resting against the tyre. The burn of the alcohol had long since been numbed by the amber liquid itself. He tried to focus on the blurry stars above him.

Someone touched his shoulder gently.

Jethro jerked away, suddenly caught off guard. He tried to find the source of the hand, his vision more blurry than before. He blinked a few times, trying to discern the face in front of him. He rubbed his eyes violently, he glanced at the bottle of bourbon before looking back into those piercing eyes.

"Shannon..." He voice was hoarse from both the bourbon and disbelief. She smiled at him and touched his cheek gently.

He was well passed the phase where he needed a rational explanation for what he was seeing, he covered her hand with his much larger one. He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the tears to stay where they were, the alcohol was wrecking havoc with his emotions and his sanity.

The lump in his throat had become too much. He swallowed heavily as tears streamed down his cheeks. He wasn't really one for crying, but he was well beyond the point of caring about that now. He doubted he'd remember this. Shannon wiped his cheeks gently.

"Jethro, why are you doing this to yourself?" Her voice was soft, the way he remembered it.

"You're not real, are you?" A sliver of hope coursed through him as she smiled, but she shook her head.

"No, don't avoid my question." He returned her smile sadly. He shrugged his shoulder in defeat, was she real or was he fabricating things to make himself feel better?

Taking another swig of bourbon, he tried to touch the gold band on his left ring finger. Panic rushed through him as he touched his own skin instead his wedding ring. Realising he had hung it around his neck along with his dog tags, he reached for the chain around his neck. He touched his neck to find the chain, but he once again came up empty.

He was slightly confused, he never went anywhere without his tags. He looked over at Shannon and was met with a knowing look. It finally dawned on him that he had left them with Kelly the night before he had left. Shannon rested her hand on his knee.

"She needs you now Jethro." He nodded. "Promise me you'll be there for her no matter what."

"No matter what." He croaked softly. Shannon smiled, she pulled him closer and kissed his lips soundly. The smell of strawberries invading his senses. He closed his eyes and relished the feeling of her so close to him.

I love you.

Jethro blinked, there was no one with him, just him and a bottle of Jim Beam. His heart thudded painfully. Placing the bottle next to him he leaned back against the tyre, closing his eyes.

He had a promise to keep.

Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think.