Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything affiliated with the series. The idea for Hermione's Multiple Personality Disorder came from the show United States of Tara, which I also don't own. This story was inspired by the song She's a Rebel by Green Day.

Kyle was met with a sea of staring eyes as she entered to common room. Many of the first and second years overlooked her completely, but every post-pubescent boy in the room had their eyes glued to the new and improved Head Girl. Harry Potter finally broke the silence.

"Mione, is that you?" he asked, genuinely unsure if the stunning girl before him was his bookworm best friend.

"Not anymore," Kyle said in a sing-song tone of voice as she resumed her exit. Harry followed her, confused to no end by her bizarre response.

"Hermione, are you okay?" he asked when he caught up with her half way down the corridor.

Kyle whipped around and pinned him forcefully against the wall. "Do not call me that. I'm not that boring little snot Granger; I'm Kyle von Stefan and I've never been better."

"Okay……" Harry said, not understanding in the slightest. "So…Kyle, what's with the new look? Not that I'm complaining, mind you," he grinned as he peered down into his friend's ample cleavage, but then flinched when she moved, half expecting to be punched in the stomach or groin area. Instead Kyle smiled back.

"You wanna see more, gorgeous?" she asked as she unbuttoned her third button.

Harry backed away, suddenly nervous about where his flirty banter was taking him.

"Uh, Herm….I mean Kyle, I can't do this. Not with you." With that he turned and walked quickly back toward the common room.

"Wait….you!"

Harry froze. 'Did Hermione really just forget my name?' Kyle ran toward him wearing a pissed off look that rivaled his own.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?" Kyle shouted at Harry. "A perfectly willing girl offers to show you her tits and you just run off? Am I not good enough for you? Is that it?" her voice grew louder and louder as she went on. "Or is it that my tits aren't good enough for you? Well, what've you got to say?"

"What's my name?" Harry whispered, barely loud enough for Kyle to hear it.

"What?" Kyle asked, confused by the strange turn in conversation.

"I asked you what my name is. You don't remember, do you Mione?"

"Don't call me that," she muttered.

"Do you?!" Harry yelled.

"No," Kyle said flatly. "No, I don't fucking know."

Harry turned sadly.

Grabbing his arm, Kyle murmured, "She was special to you, wasn't she? Granger, I mean."

"Yeah, she was my best friend. Why are you here?"

"What's you're name?"

"It's Harry, now why are you here?"

"Because she couldn't handle it. The stress of perfection would have driven her mad, so I get to have fun while I have a body of my own." She began her trek down the hall once again.

"Kyle…" Harry called out after her, "don't hurt her."

Kyle smiled at Harry and turned the corner.

As she descended the Grand Staircase she receives appreciative looks from many of the boys. In return they received a mischievous grin from Kyle and angry slaps from their girlfriends. One boy, however, legitimately caught Kyle's eye. He was a tall boy with piercing grey eyes and platinum blond hair. He stared at Kyle as she walked toward him, almost being drawn to him like the pull of a magnet.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Draco Malfoy smirked as Kyle walked toward him like a moth to a flame. "My favorite little Mudblood is all alone without her posse. What ever should I make of that?"

"I take it you knew her too," Kyle said, disappointed that she didn't get to make the first impression on the libertine demon that was standing in front of her.

"I don't quite understand you, Little Princess," Draco said condescendingly.

"What I mean, Skipper, is that you knew Granger. I, however, am not her. I am Kyle von Stefan, and I think that you want me."

Malfoy was stunned. Granger had never had the audacity to clash with him in any way, let alone in public.

"You…you really aren't her, are you?" Draco stuttered.

"Nope," she responded. "So was I right?"

A/N: Same note as before: I hope you're enjoying this so far. Feel free to review if you have a request for something crazy that you like to see Kyle do.