He stared down at the paper in front of him, not really comprehending what was on it. From what he could tell, it had something to do with the shipment of supplies, but he just could not focus on it.
He forced himself to take a deep breath before leaning back in his chair.
He needed to focus. He had a job to do after all.
A job he did not deserve to have.
He feels himself begin to shake slightly as the thought filled his head.
No.. no that was not true, he told himself.
He deserved to work at the Future Foundation. After all he had….
Killed off ten of his fellow classmates.
He bit his lip at the thought and quickly tried to force the thought away, reminding himself firmly that even if he had murdered them, it was his duty to make up for his sins and help save others from the same fate.
For a second, he succeeds. He relaxes slightly, a small smile filling his face as he begins to see the haze around him fade slightly.
To his horror though, a more deadly enemy soon took a hold of his mind.
A eerily familiar voice filled his head, mocking him, insulting him.
What right do you have to work at a place like the Future Foundation? You robbed our classmates of their futures, yet you sit back and pretend like you save the world. What a hypocrite.
His hands formed fists as Junko's voice filled his head.
He frantically tried to tell himself that he was deluding himself, that he truly did deserve to work at the Future Foundation.
But, of course, he failed.
Junko's voice seemed to grow stronger with his defense, almost as if it only powered the dark part of his mind where her memory resided.
You may blame me Makoto, but I did nothing. I only gave you the scenario and left it in the hands of you and the rest of our class. Maybe if you were smarter or even a bit less oblivious, everyone would have lived and I would have been defeated without any bloodshed.
But you could not stop it. Do you know why?
You are worthless.
He tightened his fists at the Ultimate Despair's words as they filled his head, bringing with it all the insecurity he had previously locked away.
You were worthless the minute you walked into Hope's Peak Academy and you were worthless the minute you defeated me.
Lie to yourself all you want, you know that I am right.
No matter how much you hate me, you have to admit that I was worth something. You also have to admit that the rest of the survivors are worth something, especially that blonde you love so much.
But you were never worth a thing in your entire life.
His nails were now digging into his palms as her words impaled him like knives.
It's probably pity that generates the friendships you hold with the rest of the survivors. After all, why would they want to associate themselves with you?
You are only a pathetic waste of life who got lucky enough to win a lottery of high schools.
And what do you do when you attend the academy? You murder half of your class.
Sayaka, Leon, Chihiro, Mondo, Kiyotaka, Hifumi, Celestia, Sakura, even my own twin sister Mukuro, who liked you so much.
You killed them all.
I know it. You know it. And most of all, the rest of the survivors know it.
He could already feel the tears pricking at his eyes as he vainly tried to come up with a defense against Junko's words.
They are good actors, are they not? I daresay, I have to say Byakuya is truly the best at it.
I mean, look at how good he is at pretending he likes a piece of trash like you!
He will leave you eventually, you realize this right? Like Toko always said, you do not deserve him by a mile.
He already knows what a worthless murderer you are and he will probably make the smart decision of leaving you all alone in this mess of a world soon.
Haha.. Maybe he will take up Toko's offer and become her boyfriend. You have to admit, they would make a beautiful couple.
They would surely be a better couple than you and Byakuya.
He was positive that his nails had broken skin as he clenched his fists even tighter,
But that will not be the end. Of course it won't.
Because the rest are going to leave you too.
Do you think the sweet Aoi is going to want to pretend to be the friend of a murderer for the rest of her life?
"... shut up.."
Do you think Yasuhiro wants to deal with the fear of being with two murderers all the time?
".. Shut up.."
Do you think Toko will be alright with losing the man she loves to a murderer who is crueler than she is?
" Shut up."
Do you think Kyoko truly cares about being your friend and is not pretending to do so just to make sure you do not kill again?
"Shut up!"
If so, you are more idiotic than I thought.
"SHUT UP!"
His scream echoed within the office, silencing all noise in the room. He pays no mind to this, as he shoots up from his chair, visibly shaking with anger and terror.
That was not true. It could not be.
He quickly glances around the room, his heart plummeting to his feet as he realized that everyone in his general vicinity is staring at him in shock and confusion.
He feels as if the haze around him was choking him as he stared at their startled faces. He gasps slightly at this and raises a hand to his throat, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
He had to get out of there.
Without even pausing to think about the possible repercussions of his actions, he sped out of his office desk, his only thought being escape from the suddenly
Suddenly, he feels a hand wrap around his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. He pauses reluctantly, turning quickly to see who was holding him.
He chokes slightly as he meets his boyfriend's annoyed blue eyes.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" his boyfriend hissed quietly, his voice dripping with anger.
He can feel himself begin to shake more at his boyfriend's anger. Junko's words seemed to engulf him as he stared at the furious man in front of him.
He will leave you eventually, you realize this right? Like Toko always said, you do not deserve him by a mile.
"I-I'm sorry. Please.. I'm so sorry…" he choked out.
Byakuya examined him for a moment, and to his surprise, the anger in his countenance changed to… Worry?
"... Come with me. Now."
Without even pausing to wait for him to respond, Byakuya dragged him by the wrist into his office, glaring at anyone who dared to stare at them. Within moments, the duo were located in Byakuya's office,
The former Ultimate Heir quickly locked the door behind them before crossing his arms and sending him a slight glare.
"Explain your behavior just now. You were making a racket out there."
While his words were harsh, Byakuya's voice was anything but angry. No, now it was filled with nothing but confusion and slight worry.
He can already feel the guilt welling up within him as he manages a weak smile for his boyfriend.
"I am fine Togami, I just fell asleep at my desk and had a nightmare."
Byakuya raised an eyebrow at his words.
"That must have been an interesting dream, considering I could hear you scream from my office."
He winces at the news and looks away from his boyfriend.
".. I am sorry. I did not mean to disturb you."
Byakuya sighed in response and raised a hand to rub his forehead in aggravation
"... Naegi come over here."
He eyed his boyfriend nervously, but still shuffled over to his boyfriend's side. Once he was there though, his boyfriend immediately wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.
He felt his face turn slightly red at the unusual affection.
"..Togami?"
His boyfriend said nothing to him, instead choosing to silently comfort him by pulling him close and running a hand gently through his hair.
He could not help but smile slightly at the unusual affection. He found himself returning the hug, feeling oddly relaxed and peaceful as his boyfriend held him.
Somehow, he could barely feel the haze that was previously choking him as his boyfriend held him close. In fact, as he glanced around the room, he noted how bright the room suddenly was, as if some sort of hope still remained in the room.
He found himself snuggling closer to Byakuya, desperate for any relief from the haze that had consumed him that day.
He began to wonder if he should hug his boyfriend more often if it meant feeling so.. So…
Happy.
That is what he felt whenever he was with Byakuya.
Maybe he did not deserve it. Maybe it was an emotion not fit for a murderer for himself.
But for that one moment, he did not care.
"... Promise me that you would tell me if something was wrong?" his boyfriend finally murmured in his ear after a few minutes.
He looked up with a half-smile, tightening his grip on the heir slightly as he did so.
"... I promise."
Byakuya smiled slightly at him and lightly pressed a kiss to his forehead.
"Thank you."
With that, the heir pulled away,signaling the end of the affection moment.
He finds himself wincing at the withdrawal. The second Byakuya's welcoming arms let go of him, he felt the haze wash over him once more. He inwardly groaned at this as he noted the once again dull atmosphere to the room he was in.
Byakuya only straightened his suit jacket and gave him a stern look, already back to his cold poise.
"Do not make such a racket again. If you do, I will drag Kirigiri into this as you will be disrupting our workplace yet again."
He nods, trying to hide his displeasure at the return of the haze that had haunted him all afternoon.
"Yes Togami. I am going to go finish my work though, alright?'
"..Of course."
He managed a small smile to his boyfriend as he turned to leave the room. Just as he touched the doorknob though, his boyfriend called for him.
"... Naegi."
He turned when he heard his name being called, feeling both slightly confused and hopeful.
"Yes?"
For some reason, the former Ultimate Heir could not meet his eyes.
"I believe there is something I need to discuss with you after work today. This afternoon, meet me in front of the building once your shift is over."
He raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend's choice of words.
"Of course Togami. I'll see you then," he agreed.
He finally left then, heading back to his office with Byakuya's words swirling in his head.
What was it that Byakuya wanted?
He could not focus for the rest of the afternoon.
He tried, oh how he tried to focus on the paperwork that seemed to trickle in steadily throughout the day.
But for all of his effort, it was all in vain.
The numbers swirled around him endlessly, leaving him with no clue about what he was signing. The only thing he could do was sign off on page after page, his mind on an entirely different topic.
His boyfriend's mysterious invitation to meet up that afternoon.
He knew that it could be for any number of reasons, good or bad.
His mind just preferred to focus on the bad.
He found himself gritting his teeth as images of his boyfriend smiling sadly filled his mind.
"It is just not working out Naegi."
"It is not worth pretending anymore."
"It's over."
He groaned in frustration at the thoughts filling his mind. He found himself tossing away his pen, too annoyed to even keep up the pretense of working.
He told himself that he was being silly. After all, Byakuya had asked to meet with him after comforting him about his outburst in the middle of the office.
Of course, that also could have been due to the fact that he was only pretending to comfort him out of guilt for planning to break up with him later.
He barely noticed as the haze around him thickened as his thoughts turned more and more dark.
Byakuya could not break up with him, he could not!
He… He needed Byakuya in his life.
Yes, Byakuya was a stubborn jerk who had no sense of morality at times.
But, he could be so much more than that.
Byakuya was one of the strongest out of all of them, willing to see things the rest wanted to overlook. Even if he vehemently denied it, he had made himself the de facto protector of the group along with Kirigiri. He was the one who helped negotiate their terms of work with Future Foundation, the one who made sure all of them found safe places to stay at when off the clock.
However, even more than that, he was one of his best friends and the only person he would ever trust with his heart.
He could not begin to talk about the endless nights where the former Ultimate Heir had held him through the night, calming him from his nightmares with a snarky response that would always make him laugh. Byakuya had always been there for him since they had escaped the killing game, no matter what had happened.
Sure, he was not the most affectionate boyfriend in the world, but that only made his light kisses and affectionate smiles even more precious.
If Byakuya left him…. His world would begin to collapse.
After all, if Byakuya left him of all people, then who could he trust in this rotten world?
Surely the others would leave him as well if Byakuya did.
They would all finally realize that they did not have to stay with him, that they could finally go live their lives without him.
Most likely Yasuhiro and Toko would leave him first ,saying some nonsense about him being too cruel to deal with. Aoi would keep up the act a bit longer, but eventually she would go too, not willing to stay with the murderer of her best friend.
Kyoko would probably leave last, staying to the end only to make sure he would harm no one else.
He let out a frustrated yell at his thoughts, barely caring as heads swerved in his direction once again.
He quickly leapt back to his feet like before, but this time, he made a beeline for Byakuya's office.
He was going to go mad if he kept waiting for that afternoon to come.
His best bet was just confronting Byakuya now and getting answers.
He soon made it to his boyfriend's office. Just as he was about to burst in though, he caught sight of who was inside.
The rest of the survivors.
Kyoko and Yasuhiro were positioned by the desk, sitting in the chairs positioned in front of it.
Byakuya himself was sitting at the desk,his normal look of boredom clear on his face. Toko was hovering by the windowsill though, watching the scene before her while biting her nails slightly.
He stood by the door, watching the impromptu meeting in front of him with wide eyes.
"Surely I am not the only one who has noticed Makoto's strange behavior?" Kyoko's scathing purple eyes were on Byakuya as she spoke.
His boyfriend rolled his eyes in response.
"He claims he has nightmares. Though I must say, I have my suspicions that he was lying to me," he responded.
"Come on guys! We all have our own nightmares after the mess with Enoshima. It's only natural that the guy is tense," Yasuhiro intervened.
"I-I can't believe that. H-He's probably feeling guilty for manipulating my White Knight away from me," Toko chimed in, casting adoring eyes at Byakuya to his annoyance.
"Refer to me as your white knight one more time vermin and I will throw you out of this office," Byakuya shot back irritably.
"Still.. This worries me.. Perhaps we should pay closer attention to him, just see what is troubling him," Kyoko mused.
"Just let the guy be Kyokokins. Just leave him to Togamikins," Yasuhiro waved off her concerns.
"I am not his keeper Hagakure."
"You are his boyfriend. Same thing."
"Can we stop bringing that up?!" Toko whined.
"How about we focus at the topic at hand? We need to figure this out.," Kyoko interrupted, raising an eyebrow at their behavior.
"Just figure out what is wrong so we can end it already. That is all we have to do."
He froze as his boyfriend's words filled the air.
End it already?
"Yes.. That would be best," Kyoko agreed.
"Of course Master Byakuya is right!" Toko chimed in.
"Whatever dudes, I am chill with anything."
He staggered from the door, his heart racing.
His mind vainly tried to regain control with logic. Surely his friends were talking about whatever force was influencing his mind recently, not planning a way to end their friendships.
Yes, that was it… He was just letting his mind wander a bit too much.
Still, he found himself slowly backing away from the door, the haze around him darker than ever.
I told you so.
Junko's smug voice filled his head suddenly and he could almost imagine that damn smirk that would be filling her face as she spoke.
That was his cue to turn and run from the office, barely caring as he felt tears streaming down his face as he did so.
Sorry for the major screw up guys! I did not check the file before I uploaded it! Hopefully this makes up for it.