Chapter 1 - Table discussion
The question had come at something of a surprise. The five of them had met up today to go over their notes together in a last minute preparation for the exams in the following week, which if all went according to plan, they would pass without hassle and let them go on their winter holidays without a problem. Five hours of solid study had preceded before one of them - returning from a toilet break - had thought of the question, prompting to ask this very question.
"What are your plans for Christmas?"
Its desired effect was an unwelcome one. But it still resulted in this regular temple study session diverging into an equally regular discussion on their respective plans for Christmas. It was a very simple question in reality, one that nobody really thinks much about it. Between friends and family, the question could be - depending on familiarity - be honestly or dishonestly answered with varying degrees of humor added, all the while communicating in reply to the simple question concern for those who didn't quite have the same joyous plans that the asker might have. In this, none of the girls was afraid to explain their plans; Rei was going to be busy with the shrine a busy place for lovers to come for trinkets to buy on Christmas day and alike, but still have time later on to have Christmas cake with her grandfather and Yuichiro.
Makoto, having no family of her own; was going to stay at Usagi's place to stand in for Mamoru since he was for some miracle of timing currently in London and unable to return for Christmas. Finally Minako was expecting visitors to come over and spend a traditional Christmas day with some of her extended family who made the trip this year- talking at length looking forward to seeing her cousins since she hadn't seen them in such a long time, even if they were only small children last time they met. All of them had exciting plans that seemed to top the previous plan as each one told the others; except for one member.
"So what are you doing this year?"
"The same as usual I guess" Ami replied quite shyly
"What do you mean by that?" Usagi asked, quite curious at what to her was a cryptic answer.
"Well, I'm not quite sure of mother's schedule this year, so it's probably just going to be just me again"
This statement not only surprised everyone. All the girls knew that Ami and her mother were rarely home together, but it hadn't really occurred to them in the past that this arrangement might even extend to this time of the year.
"But doesn't your mother work in the Clinical side of the hospital now?" Rei asked, she had a better recollection on Ami's mother, and to some degree the practice and function of hospitals.
"Yes, but she still does shifts in the Emergency Room…and especially at this time of the year when the demand is a lot higher" Ami replied honestly "they are often short handed in experienced doctors and they call her and others with experience in to watch over the ER"
"Does this happen every year?" Makoto asked, fielding the same question Minako was about to ask.
"Well, she worked last year…and the year before…" Ami trailed off when she saw that everyone was quickly getting the wrong idea, quickly covering she went on "…but she and I did spend Christmas together the year before that…so it works out okay, it just depends on the schedule"
Ami sighed, as she hoped that her reply would bury the tension she briefly felt talking about this with her friends. This subject did worry her sometimes since they didn't really understand how accustomed she was to the situation, but from their looks, Usagi especially, they didn't seem to understand. Now that the gauntlet had been dropped, there was no returning to quiet study, as predicted, all of them jumped on the subject.
"So what about this year?" Rei asked
"Well, I haven't asked mom since she has been quite busy, but…" Ami continued "but as I said, I think she is going to be working this year as well"
The last thing Ami wanted to do was have them worry about her, but that hope had all but died when she told them the truth. To the other four; the atmosphere in the room felt like it had become freezing tundra compared to the relative warmth of a few seconds ago. The heated table, the cozy atmosphere of Rei's room, and the general sprit in the air that accompanies both their study sessions and this certain time of the year, all but vanished as each girl felt a painful ice cold pane of guilt go down each of their spines. Having just discussed their own plans for this year, as is often the case in the human psyche, they now felt an unfathomable shame.
"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Makoto asked, breaking the momentary silence.
"It's something I'm use to, so I didn't think I'd tell you" Ami answered.
"That's not the same as enjoying it" Rei replied sternly, now chipping in her own opinion.
"I don't enjoy it…but at the same time, I understand the reason"
"Reason?" Usagi asked, only because she didn't get it and wasn't afraid to admit it. However, for once had asked a question everyone else wanted to hear the answer to.
"Well…" Ami started "the hospital is usually very short staffed around this time of the year and most of the senior members of the staff have their holidays then…so it's usually up to mom and the others to take over the wards during this time of the year…I know it sounds silly, but I'm alright with it…because I know she cannot leave the hospital. Her patients depend on her...they certainly don't want to be there, and her fellow residents depend on her too for support and to help make tough decisions...and they certainly don't want to be there either…and if I want to become a doctor one day, I have to be ready to do the same things, because even on days I don't want to…I have a responsibility to my patients to be there"
Her answer sounded to the others, at most, like an excuse a five year old would be making, but the part at the end brought it home that she wasn't making up excuses, rather accepting a fact of life that took growing up with the same eventual goal. It wasn't selfishness on the part of the mother, or denial on the part of the daughter. The girls kept silent, wanting to say something, but conceding the moment wasn't right for objecting. The moment passed and the absence defeated objection turned into guilt again as didn't feel worthy to be in the same room as Ami as her sermon concluded. Their thoughts about what was fair on Christmas fell away as they understood much better the relation between their friend, and their mother who - despite her usual absence - was still an inspiration to her daughter.
"Ami…" Usagi was the first to speak after a minute of silence, "don't you get lonely?"
"It's not so lonely…I can watch television, sometimes I just like to read" Ami replied, forcing a cheerful face, again she felt like she was depressing her friends with her very word.
The topic was quite a sensitive one already and every time she brought up her family situation, Ami felt guilty for reactions she got from everyone else. It was bad enough that she was the daughter of a divorced couple, something society in this country frowned upon, but to have them fret over her mother's work situation at this time of year, it was almost too much. Ami didn't feel especially proud to admit her circumstances - knowing well how much all of them cared about her - and had decided to keep this little piece of information quiet until she was asked, which in hindsight seemed to make no difference in dulling the reactions she was expected to get.
"I won't allow it!"
All the girls looked to the source of the announcement. Typically, it came from the one of them who had the most heartfelt - if not quite always well placed - concern for situations like this, Minako Aino.
"We are not letting you spend Christmas alone this year!" she repeated "Nobody should be alone this time of the year!"
"Minako…" Ami sighed, seeing that her friend was serious. Minako was as loyal a friend as they came, but even Ami sometimes had to worry about what she was thinking, since not every plan Minako came up with applied to the rules of common sense.
"You're not going to convince my mother are you?"
"Maybe?" Minako answered without a trace of wit in her voice.
"She'll say no..." Ami answered straight away "...and I'm not even sure she has Christmas off yet, so let me find out that first before..."
"Then what about if she doesn't?" Makoto joined into the argument.
"Then I'll…"
"…stay here"
All of them turned to Rei, who upon prompting continued to explain her idea
"You can stay here…we could always do with the help around this time of the year"
"You're not thinking of putting a guest to work are you?" Usagi challenged Rei's idea, already seeing an imaginary ulterior motive.
It didn't take much for the two of them to start fighting over something and now that Rei had spoken on this seemingly trivial subject, any hope of returning to study was doomed.
"No I wouldn't!" Rei quickly objected "But as I said...if she should like to do something more than read alone, then I would love her to come over!"
Usagi at once quickly worked to come up with a strong rebuttal, knowing if she didn't, Rei would be both victorious in this argument and maybe steal Ami away to. Already in Usagi's exaggerated imagination, she feared that Ami would slave away keeping the heated tub hot while Rei enjoyed a steamy bath. When she had failed to find fault in the argument Rei had made, Usagi went to the next best thing and offered an alterative solution.
"How about you come over to my place?
"Eh?" all of them replied.
"Yeah...Makoto is coming already! I can always get my parents to let you come over as well" Usagi repeated, already lit up to the idea. Once a sparked rebuttal to Rei's plan, the blonde-haired teenager was already imagining a girls night on Christmas eve, though like always, Usagi's imagination could be charitably described as heavily romanticized compared to reality.
"We'll have sweets, cookies, ice cream…"
"Do you want to invite her over for Christmas or fatten her up?" Rei rebutted, at once shooting down the dream idea that Usagi came up with.
"Are you calling me fat again?" Usagi turned around and winced.
"No, but now that you bring it up…" Rei teased, seeing the opening and knowing very well how to exploit it.
And from their, Rei and Usagi's argument changed from competition over who could host Ami for Christmas, to the intricacies of dieting for high school girls, an argument that could last half a day or more with these two fighting, though rarely did either take it to heart. While this was going on, Minako returned to the original topic, now throwing her ideas into the realm of suggestion. Being the person who started this argument, she felt somewhat responsible for making Ami feel left out, even if her previous plan had been shut down, she could still join in the argument and offer to help out.
"You could always stay over at my place" Minako quipped "I mean it might be a tight squeeze, but more is the happier right?"
Ami sighed, first at her friend once again getting the proverb wrong, and second at the suggestion, being she was simply jumping on the idea bandwagon that Usagi and Rei had started, both of whom reacted.
"Squeeze in?" Usagi suddenly focused her attention on Minako's idea "are you going to fit her in a closet or something? How are you going to with so many people visiting your place?"
"No, but it's a lot more merrier than your place"
And now the argument changed once again as Minako and Usagi now argued who had a better house. It was an argument that nobody could win since neither of them had the space for Ami and neither could guarantee they could let her stay over. All it did was make the general volume of the discussion raise a notch and sank Ami in further despair. She was now feeling guilty at how her friends were going out of their way to find a solution for her. None had a solution of course and all that was being accomplished was time being wasted. Finally after all three potential hosts had argued for several minutes, Makoto finally input her opinion.
"You know, if we're worried about Ami staying alone" Makoto started "I could always stay over at Ami's place instead… I'm only going over to Usagi's place because I don't have family to visit this year, so I can easily make the swap"
Usagi turned head at hearing the that suggestion.
"But Makoto…" Usagi whined, the idea brought a new kind of despair to her "you promised… I spent all of a month getting my parents okay with you coming over"
"Is that all you could think of?" Rei murmured quietly
"Hey, it took me a lot of effort!" Usagi asked
"But didn't they say yes straight away?" Rei replied, at once deflating the courage that Usagi had bolstered to talk them into the idea. Once again in rebuttal, Usagi's idea spoke volumes of the amount of planning that was neglected from her idea.
"Well if you're going over, then I'm going over too!"
"And so will I!" Minako replied
And just like that, the argumentative plan shifted from one of them hosting Ami, to Ami hosting all of them. It was a plan with just as many flaws as before, but still a heated debate continued on despite reality pressing down the idea. Ideas were exchanged and with minor alternations, Usagi's previous idea about a girls' night on Christmas was somehow re-floated. But even with the addition of Minako — who insisted on going — it was still and idea that carried the same lack of realism as her previous plan.
"If you three go, then I'll have to go…"
"Don't you have to look after the shrine?"
"I'll get Yuichiro to pull double shifts!" Rei answered before jabbing at specifically Usagi "...and if I leave you three alone, you might end up destroying her apartment"
"We will not!" Usagi replied angrily.
Now that the unrealistic arrangement included all four of them, Ami was left to sigh and wait for them to expel their own arguments on each other. She just smiled and waited, knowing that eventually one of them would come to their senses and ask her the question on what she wanted to do. It took time to exhaust the argument to its logical conclusion, but it was Rei who eventually asked, and Ami — after having all of several minutes to frame it — replied in turn.
"Well, I know you really want to…and I really appreciate it…but is it really a good idea burden others because of me?"
"Huh?" they all replied, wondering how Ami could still argue against any of their ideas
"But Ami, we can…" Usagi started before she was cut off.
"No..." Ami started to explain "All of you have plans already, I've just heard them"
Ami first looked at Rei and then made her way around the table counter-clockwise explaining her reasons.
"Rei, you have to watch the shrine and prepare for the New Year, and if I stayed here, you'd have to take time out to teach me everything to be useful…I can't burden you for time at this busy part of the year"
"Then I guess you can…" Usagi again started, not yet getting it.
"…Usagi, your family is important too, you can't burden them more by not being there or inviting more guests, you have extended family visiting too don't you…Minako, just the same, you have extended family visiting, you can see me any day of the year, you haven't seen them at all for a year…"
'Not that I actually want to see...some...of them' Minako silently thought.
Ami finally turned to the final girl in the group "Makoto…I don't want you to change your plans on my account…Usagi invited you because your extended family aren't around this year, and from what I've heard, has already gone to the effort. My family is here and even if they aren't home the whole day, I will still see them"
With one slow turn of the head, she had silenced all of the opposing ideas and calmed everyone down, but Ami's second sermon of the day had brought the room to a deathly silence. Despite being told otherwise, all of them wanted to do something anyway, though upon hearing her logical objections, they now silently looked for a way to be there for Ami. Each of them gave it several minutes before they had exhausted their ideas to the logical flaw that Ami had reproached them for. Like it or not, it was unfair to everyone else's prior commitments for Ami to invite herself or have everyone stay with her.
"Are you sure?" Rei asked again
"Yes"
"Then I hope your mother can spend Christmas with you this year" said Minako finally said, getting the final line in on this debate.
With that, all of them paused talking for a moment, that passed and Ami's motion for them to continue studying was indication enough to move on. In a few minutes, the sound of scribbling pens on paper and pages being turned replaced the absence of noise from before. While all had come to unspoken agreement to stop talking about Ami's disposition, they continued to silently think about their friend. Among the four, it was Usagi who was still adamant to change things. She alone still believed she could try convincing her parents, but the firm objections that Makoto and Ami had both put on her to prevent doing that. While the others silently festered thoughts about their friend's plans, Ami had other thoughts of her own to consider.
Unbeknownst to them, Ami was concerned about the present arrangement, but not entirely for the reasons that she had explained. Originally she had plans, but for a head cold suffered by Ami's material grandmother, those plans had stalled as questions had been raised on if she could come to visit Ami and her mother in Tokyo. Several days ago, after consulting with other members of the family, Ami's grandmother announced her reluctant decision to stay at home. The news had been a blow for Ami and upon being reminded of the present circumstances surrounding her Christmas plans, she had turned her thoughts to wonder about if her mother would have Christmas off, despite no evidence thus far to indicate such.
It was something to hope for, but it was unlikely and as much as Ami could pray, her own sermon stood as a wall barricading her own wishes from reality. With that conclusion made, Ami made a note to investigate the question when she got home. For now, even under these circumstances, this wasn't the time to ask herself questions. Ami already she questions to answer on the page in front of her, and surely questions from her friends which would soon follow. For now, Ami needed to only concern herself on the questions she knew how to answer.
Once upon a generation ago, the inn would've been a source of pride and distinction, the kind that other inns like this still had, but this inn and the hostess who ran it hadn't been as fortunate. The recession that still gripped the nation had forced this inn in the remote north to close three quarters of a decade ago and was left to fall apart. The grounds were messy, the drained hot springs were long covered in moss and the gardens were overgrown. One casual glance of the building aside the mountain would make one think it was beyond use, but its appearance belied the casual observer. The sturdy design of the structure had survived the test of time and as a result the building had recently become inhabited again.
As far as base camps went, it was a depressing state of affairs; they could house everyone without exposing themselves to outsides, but their ability to do much else was mitigated by a lack of magical source to produce anything useful. None the less, despite this most unfavorable factor in establishing the base camp, its discrete location made it the primary choice for the commander. It was undetectable by their enemies, the common people — who never even came closer than a few miles — and even the authority they once reported to. Even with the latter most element disposed from existence, it was an important element to the plan, it was too far away from anyone to be easily found.
Sitting in what would've been a banquet hall many years ago, seven persons sat around the low table, their attention all loyally focused to their commander, who only a month ago was thought to be gone from this earth. He was a general, one who had been one of their most notable leaders and had also defied the authority which no longer presided over them. The 'general' as everyone referred to him, was a bitter veteran of war, and had only days before been recalled from the icy fortress of exile, which had been his punishment for attempting to slay the woman who herself led the throne to its recent demise.
Thawed from his tomb, he had returned to the same movement of loyal officers who shared his original goal for the kingdom. Their task in recovering him had been part of a plan, one that would provide a shining beacon to other factions of the disorganized remains and return to dominance their place in the universe. Even with their collective anger and embarrassment at how their organization had resorted to such menial hiding places, his successful recovery so far placed their trivial feelings at what the kingdom had become aside from the main issues that presently blocked the path back to power.
The movement that brought the general back from exile had only seven members, all colonels of the kingdom, all ignored general braids in favor of the tactically incompetent, but completely loyal, quartet of officers that their former authority had chosen to lead the last offensive against their natural enemy. All of them were survivors of the aftermath of that offensive and so badly was the resulting purge in ranks from the fall of the royal court, that all of them — to the general at least — were the last true faction that was loyal to the kingdom and the interpretation of the mission that the general had subscribed to before his exile.
There were other factions of course, but even with news of the general's return, it wouldn't do anything to halt the battles being fought between alternative factions, each subscribing to a different reinterpretation of the mission that the kingdom had inherited. Many tried to reestablish the military high command, but just as many were trying to launch coups to succeed the place of their dead queen. Either way, the internal wars had robbed them further of experience and abilities and what could've been a resurrected power had vanished into a shadow of its former self.
The general looked down the table at his legion of loyal men and women, his new subordinates.
"So tell me a story" he asked finally, his low voice directed to the colonel in the first chair on his left.
"It will be one that wont please you" the colonel replied.
He was an middle aged man and had rose through the ranks through his specialty of intelligence gathering, but his ascendancy to command had stopped short by the four generals that Beryl had adopted. Had they not been chosen over the established court of qualified officers like himself, it was possible that he could've defeated the Senshi early on, adopting a method of attack that would've insured success. But plans laid down by a tactless queen forbad his method from seeing fruition and in the absence of his, or any competent military leadership, their kingdom was now a shattered internal mess.
"Azrael" the general started "If the downfall of dark kingdom from that wretched witch Beryl wasn't displeasing enough…or that it was because she had taken no advice except from those turncoat incompetent drones she selected above us...there is no greater displeasure you can add to what you've already told me"
"Very well general..." Azrael corrected his general.
"Now tell me what you know"
Azrael breathed silently before briefing his general on a recollection of events since the fall of the kingdom.
"As you know, the kingdom had been felled by the senshi after a fairly erratic campaign to collect energy for Beryl...and it resulted in the royal court being eliminated in the process...all by only five senshi?"
"Only five?"
"Five…Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter...and of course...the princess" The colonel replied before explaining further "They apparently went in person to the royal court to settle with Beryl...what happened exactly isn't very clear, but its results are fairly obvious...the complete obliteration of the palace and the court"
"And they survived?" the general asked
Azrael sat up straighter as he began explaining the post-beryl past "For a time we weren't sure...we had assumed that maybe the sheer force that the Dark kingdom had might have eliminated our principle adversary...but...I cannot recall the name of the group….but at the time our forces were debating among ourselves who would take beryl's place…a group had forced the senshi to show themselves, which disproved the belief at the time that all five had been killed with the destruction of Beryl"
"And this group? Elaborate"
"They almost succeeded in whatever they were doing, I cannot determine their true battle plan, but it appears they were almost successful in the same tactic that the queen attempted"
"But…they failed" the general mused "What happened?"
"Pluto happened" the colonel answered and continued "along with her return, Pluto brought with her the child..." the colonel paused for a beat "...who was apparently born sometime in the future...during a new moon kingdom...this I cannot be sure...I don't have quite the understanding I should...but it turns out she too is a senshi…however by the time we learnt this fact, my ability to monitor these events were cut short by the growing faction wars in our own kingdom..."
"So by the time we lost contact, there were seven… and your talk of a child from the future…" the general concluded
"Yes general" Azrael says, "if the person is really who it is...which given Pluto's existence is quite possible...it means that the moon kingdom will return at some point in the future…when we learnt this, we had decided to seek you from exile"
It was a conclusion that haunted everyone at the table. Their goal was to prevent a second Moon Kingdom, one of the reasons — at least according to their interpretation — that the Dark Kingdom had first come into existence in the first place. News of a new senshi, could only mean a continually existing second moon kingdom and there wasn't a single man or woman in uniform that didn't fear that among all else.
"…when you resumed observations, you mentioned that the senshi were fighting each other" the general continued
"Yes and no..." Azrael answered "...at the time we resumed contact, there was a total of nine, Uranus, Neptune and Saturn had appeared and all were united behind their commander…but there were other senshi…ones we have never heard of, were the opposing force"
"Nine…I count ten"
"The child was absent for the majority of the conflict I'm referring to, when we resumed contact, they had apparently just slain another enemy, then she disappeared...I would assume to return to her own time" Azrael explained and then continued "none the less, we became concerned when we saw Saturn and the two other missing senshi…but the result of this conflict was a stalemate victory"
"What do you mean?" the general, wondering at Azrael's choice of words.
Azrael stared his general in the eyes. By trade, the colonel was an intelligence officer and had lead the task of keeping tabs on the senshi while the other Colonels around the table searched for where the general had been exiled to. Even with his expertise though, he had to admit to himself that he didn't faithfully carry out the task completely. He could blame the internal conflicts that had forced him to aid surviving generals — most of whom were now dead — and the necessary actions he took to find the colonels around this table, but he couldn't use that as an excuse. It was his failure to pick things up faster than led to the reason why he didn't know how the last battle the senshi ended.
"We don't know the true outcome general" Azrael carefully explained "my intelligence assets at the time weren't in the right place...but it would appear at least some Senshi were killed…but since there have been no conflicts since the end of this particular battle...there had been no way to confirm this"
"Which still leaves at least several senshi alive today…" another colonel piped up.
"Denisa, your observations are as always, ever so useful to stating the obvious" Azrael rebutted, annoyed by the interruption "...but your point is noted, the problem lies in their remaining strength, which we have no clear picture of"
"And not getting a clear count on remaining senshi isn't really saying a lot about your abilities as an intelligence officer…"
"Enough!" the general ordered in a low booming voice, surprising his two arguing subordinates "It is fighting like this that resulted in the fall of the kingdom...I will not allow this to affect our mission"
"Our mission?" Denisa asked
The general waited for a moment before he continued to speak.
"Despite your information Azrael, we have to admit to ourselves that speculation on the outcome of their final appearance isn't fact...for which…we have to assume that all the senshi have lived. As such, we will assume that we are still facing the full force of our opposing side..." the general explained calmly "...with the further evidence of the child you mentioned... it indicates that all nine must be alive, at least at some point in the future"
Azrael nodded in agreement, even at being told he was incorrect, Denisa was still adamant at her assessment of chief intelligence officer, thoughts was satisfied at the rebuke he received.
"So what can we possibly do that will prevent the new moon kingdom?" Azrael asked, knowing the answer "we cannot create a negative energy force, or subvert the population against the senshi, we just don't have enough power to..."
"...our former leaders and other factions tried such methods...and that only shows how lacking in foresight that they were"
"Then how do you propose we act?" Denisa, frustrated with waiting for the general to answer.
"Clearly the problem is the senshi...without the direct ability to build our own kingdom for a long time...the only thing we can do is prevent the resurrection of moon kingdom. As with us, for that to occur, it is my belief that they will require their full strength to achieve the goal of resurrecting their kingdom" the general explained "therefore...nine senshi are needed to achieve this goal…but if we were to eliminate one, would they still be able to achieve this goal?"
The others thought about this and then nodded. Even Denisa could see the merit in such a line of thought. One inherently ironic footnote in the Dark Kingdom was the lack of leaders who were willing to think such brutal measures, at this table the general knew were the only loyal colonels left with such a mindset. Azrael was the only one who actually thought about it, and even he had to agree
"It certainly would make the task harder" the intelligence officer replied "but without proper knowledge of how they brought about the second moon kingdom...its not for certain if just taking out one will do, we'd have to take out at least three for the effect your thinking of"
"I have thought about that and you are correct...it will take a concerted effort" the general said "but if we can take one or two out, we have a chance at preventing what our forefathers brought to an end"
There was no disagreement, and with that all of them had signed off on the plan. With a goal marked and a leader to take them there, their campaign had begun.
The awkward moments following the conversation had mortally wounded any chance of the study session continuing. After only an hour of silent study, everyone excused themselves for the day and returned home. Between their conversation about her plans and the distraction of the temptingly nice weather outside; nothing could be done to prevent them calling it a day earlier than expected. Ami did feel especially sorry for Rei who had called for the study session, only for the others to make a quick exit after that brief interruption, which had none the less broken the rhythm of study in any case. In the end, it was just Rei and Ami studying, but soon the host gad announced that she had things to do and the session of study soon ended. With no choice, Ami had packed up and made her way for home.
With nothing else to think about during the walking from the temple to her own home, Ami had returned thought to the conversation before. It was really a matter of perspective; on the one hand they were right, and it wasn't just for her to spend it alone when she could go to their place, but Ami was never one to be selfish so the idea would have never occurred to her. But on the other hand, she was right; Usagi, Rei and Minako were ill-suited to accommodate her. Rei was the best candidate, but she still couldn't really be distracted or burdened at this time of the year. Makoto being in a similar situation made the most sense, but her commitment to Usagi ruled out the possibility. In the end, as Ami kept reminding herself, this all really depended on what her mother was doing. Ami made herself certain to ask her tonight when she got home, which according to the whiteboard this morning, she was supposed to be home early, a perfect opportunity to talk about this straight away.
Walking down the corridor towards the door to her apartment, Ami looked skyward. Apart from the blinking lights of a 747 taking off from Narita, she could see a cloudless sky with the first twinkle of stars in the night sky and more importantly to her, Ami could tell by just looking that the clear early evening skies that it promised to be a chilly night ahead. Even without having the news weather forecast in front of her, Ami knew how cold it would be, from both living through past winters and just from the knowledge obtained, it was enough to tempt the thought of spending her time tonight at the heated table that sometimes occupied her bedroom. But Ami also had work to do, and her computer wasn't quite as easy to move around as semi-portable heated table. The reverse cycle air conditioner would have to do.
"I'm home"
Nothing replied, which wasn't all that surprising. Shrugging at the thought, Ami exchanged her shoes for slippers and walked to the kitchen where she flipped on a few lights. By the time Ami started for her room, she had already suspected by now that she had beaten her mother home. With the seemingly random work roster that her mother got at the hospital, along with the commute, it would be no surprise if she was being wasn't home yet. Ami entered her bedroom briefly to drop her bag off by the desk and turn on the air conditioner in her room to start heating it up for her study session. Finished with that chore she returned to the kitchen. After confirming nobody was home except herself, — a common affair for Ami — she proceeded to check the whiteboard on the wall.
Since the two rarely saw each other, the two of them had a whiteboard to relay messages or plan details. As expected, the side of the board with mom's message was the same since this morning.
Home: =5:30, might be delayed
'Okay, it's almost 6:00…which would mean…" Ami sighed as she turned her head expecting and then seeing the blinking red light on the phone, which at once told Ami knew what was going on. The event was one she had grown up with for years, so the disappointment had worn off long ago. Deciding to not delay the inevitable, Ami walked to the phone and pressed the play button
"1 recorded message" the monotone computer voice declared, as though it was the first such occasion this had happened, before a real voice came on, "Hey Ami, its your mother…I'm sorry I cant make it home when I said, I might need to stay back another hour or two…"
Ami didn't really need to listen to the rest of the message; it was the same old story with her mother. Ever the dedicated doctor, her mother was often the first to volunteer to stand in for someone if they couldn't make it to work. From an outside perspective, one would easily call if selfish and neglectful of her daughter, if it weren't for the fact her job was a doctor that sometimes worked in the Emergency room. To Ami this was reality, day in and day out, a five in seven chance her mother wouldn't be home at all, let alone on time. But like Ami had explained before, to her friends it wasn't something she had problems accepting. It in fact served for her a warning of what her tenure as a doctor might be like.
With a few key strokes, the message was stopped, deleted and reset to record future messages. Deciding what to do after that was almost a routine for Ami, given how many times this occurred. For now she had a choice, between making dinner or a shower before study. On reflection while she weighed her choices, Ami decided to check the fridge, which told her at once that dinner would have to be light. Both Mizuno's could cook, but at the same time both didn't like to waste food. For a moment, the idea of making a soup was tempting, but upon inspection of the cupboards, there was nothing to make it with. Seeing that there were no leftovers left and that they were coming up on shopping day, Ami's conclusion came to an obvious answer.
"Guess I'll have a shower" Ami spoke to nobody but the walls
With that, she closed the fridge, flipped off the kitchen lights and walked off to her room.
Not for the first time in her life, Saeko wished she lived closer to work. It wasn't that the hospital was too far away in terms of distance, but Juban Secondary Hospital was a long commute to her home in terms of time and with the track work currently being done on her train line today, it had added to the delay that had come in the form of overtime. She had known about the train work and had she tried as much as possible, at least for today to avoid the traditional peak hour rush coming from the other districts. This wasn't hard to accomplish, but more often than not, there was always a problem that came up at work to prevent her leaving, which as of late was a problem with increasing frequency.
Among the current in-house problems between doctors and the administrative operators as of late, there wasn't enough doctors on call at the moment. There were nurses, chemists and a plethora of administration staff but with so many new doctors either going off to train in the United States or being redirected to the country hospitals, it felt like senior doctors like herself were being stretched thin. It was something of a subject that politicians and media were all barking about the various reasons. Popular debate pointed to the ongoing rescission, an aging generation, youth not wanting to take on difficult jobs, the brain drain to America, the training being outdated and all manner of popular arguments, but nobody seemed to offer a solution.
Dr. Saeko Mizuno, while not quite able to suggest her own solutions, was at least doing her part in trying to stem the time before more doctors could fill the billets at hospitals. Long since moved into the clinical side of things, Saeko however still worked as a doctor for the emergency room sometimes, it was a hard job and harder still given that she didn't have as much support she needed, but given the alternatives, she merely worked with what she had. It had earned her a reputation as a miracle worker and while it bought her respect of many of her peers, it only aided in adding to the workload the administration left her professional work ethic could handle. Smart, diligent and conducting herself in the manner as a trained professional should, Saeko worked with an excellent team, that had in some places had been created from the ground up.
It was a demanding job and it only added to the inability to spend time away from the job. Saeko had gone to her share of conferences and lecturers, done the graveyard shift more than anyone else and she had rarely taken a sick day. Combining these factors into her already stellar reputation; Saeko was a woman who yearned for a break. The problem was of course the same problem that prevented her from leaving on time; the workload just didn't allow it. There just wasn't enough doctors to allow for vacations between staff and new doctors were not staying long, they were either residents on training — before they were hired by a private clinic — or visiting groups from other countries, but Saeko and her doctors were left in dismay as the failed to hang on to any of them.
As a result of this, on an average of five nights a week, Saeko was asked by the administrators to stay behind and watch over the junior residents, all of whom in her opinion lacked not only experience, but the work ethic that her generation had. A harsh generalization but it was none the less true. Today alone had justified her opinion again, after her timely departure today was delayed because a resident had called in sick. The resulting inconvenience in her day followed, which involved taking four hours to stand in for the sick resident while another senior doctor was recalled from their day off. Now after almost five hours the time she was suppose to leave, Saeko was almost home. It had long since become a habit, but it didn't mean that she wanted it to stay like this.
"I'm home"
Nothing, which like Ami had noted, wasn't too surprising. It was getting late and expecting her daughter to be up and about was about as unlikely as it was her getting off on time anymore. Like her daughter did five hours ago, she proceeded to take her shoes off in the same manner Ami did, walk to the kitchen and turn the lights on, and just like Ami, she checked the board and phone for messages. Once that was done she proceeded, just like her daughter, to do the same things as before. To an observer, this arrangement of events would almost seem comical, but was none the less a sign that despite their relatively little contact, both still resembled each other, not only in appearances as many noted, by in mannerisms and even thinking pattern.
After determining the fridge was about as promising for dinner as Ami concluded several hours earlier, she proceeded to her room, but not before noting with some surprise the light under Ami's door. Well this was certainly a rare surprise, but not one that she got annoyed or excited about. Given her attendance in cram schools, Ami rarely stayed up late to study unless it was before exams.
"Ami?" Saeko knocked on the door softly.
Inside, to what would've been a present surprise to her mother, Ami was almost about to fall asleep at her desk. But the sudden notice of her mother's arrival home however electrified her back into wakefulness.
"Yes?"
Confirming that she was awake, Saeko opened the door, to find her daughter looking back at her from the desk where she had her notes spread out and her laptop running.
"You know shouldn't really be working at the computer this late at night" Saeko warned her "how much more do you have to do?"
"I'm actually done for the night, I was closing up" Ami replied, this much was true; she needed to get some sleep if she wanted to tackle the exam tomorrow.
"Alight" Saeko returned "I'm sorry I wasn't home sooner"
"It's alright" Ami smiled as she got up to hug her mother.
"How did the study session go today?" Saeko then asked while she embraced her only daughter. For the moment, Ami didn't really have an answer to that, having five hours of time, it hadn't really occurred to her, just that she had to ask her mother something. She'd almost forgotten to, but Saeko did remind her.
"We got some work done, but we had to finish early" Ami replied "everyone else had other plans"
Releasing from the hug, Saeko wondered to herself how Ami's friends ever planned on passing exams when they didn't put in enough study. Ami had long since told her about the study habits of her classmates, and while they had been gradually improving, they were no where near as diligent as they needed to be. Usagi was by far the worst, and at least according to Ami, the one who had made the most progress in recent times. That it took three years of free tutorage from her own daughter to accomplish, was a footnote that Saeko choose to ignore.
Before Ami could ask her question, her mother turned to enter her own room and drop her purse and jacket on the hamper. She was quite tired and just wanted to get some sleep. Despite the assurance that she could come to work at ten the next day, Saeko had lived too long to believe in an adult guarantee. Ami followed her five steps to the door, but no further.
"Mom, can I ask you something?"
"Sure" Saeko replied as opened the door to the walk-in robe. While they never really saw each other, it was actually quite rare for Ami to ask for anything.
"The others were talking about Christmas plans this year…and I was just wondering" Ami paused for a second "what are our plans?"
Saeko stopped changing for a moment and pondered about that for a few seconds, it had dawned on her that she hadn't really thought about it for the first time since hearing the news on her mother's change in plans. She knew the administration's roster owed her some days off, but with the staff shortages and the complete lack of guarantee in getting a day off—
"I'm not sure" Saeko replied honestly "I'm pretty sure I'm working this year though"
"I see" Ami replied, her tone not quite disappointed, rather use to the news.
Saeko finished donning her nightgown and walked out again to face her daughter, who showed the face that had heard it all before. There was no denying it, last two years she had promised to be home, but it ended up being an awkward day where she could only be home for a few hours, leaving Ami to keep her mother company. But with her mother staying home, Ami's plans now consisted of nothing.
'Maybe that was why she is asking' Saeko pondered realizing for the first time what Ami was actually thinking.
It hadn't happened before and despite the schedule Saeko endured, Ami never really spent Christmas alone. When she was married, her husband would take Ami out to an amusement park and after he left, Ami and herself spent the day at home. But as she grew older, so did her ability to spend time off on this day lessen, always the resulting consequence of becoming a more experienced doctor. It made you more valuable to the staff, especially when experience was becoming a rare quality.
"I'm sorry to say it Ami..." Saeko said "...but with the short staffing problem, I don't know if I can get the time off"
Saeko could tell when she was hiding something when her look now changed to more sullen one, though even if she asked, Ami wouldn't say so. It was merely one of the things that Saeko's divorce had effected on Ami's upbringing. Saeko had been a strict study master and concerned about her daughter's health as a new doctor was of any patient while Ami's father was far different, quite okay with her playing around in place of study. What easily created conflict was her ability to live up the standards of both parents' standards. Whenever Ami naturally started being more adapt at following her mother's traits, such as studying; her husband would try to convince her to do something else. At the same time, whenever Ami wanted something, like father had encouraged her to do, Saeko would say no because at the time, her salary alone couldn't afford certain luxuries and she didn't want to spoil Ami.
When he left, Ami stopped displaying traits of him and squarely focused on the traits Saeko gave her. For certain, one result of her upbringing after her divorce, was Ami becoming afraid of asking for things. In recent times, this trait had softened up thanks — Saeko was sure — to the friends that Ami made, but her daughter still hid her feelings, even on asking for her to stay for Christmas. That was always a big hurdle for Ami she knew, because while she wanted her mother home for the holidays, Saeko had it almost hammered into her how important it was for her to be at the hospital. As a result, the excuse she had for not being home had become as normal as the one she used for not being home any other time of the year.
"Is there something your friends discussed?" Saeko guessed, while tired, her deductive reasoning never really slept. Clearly they brought up their plans, and maybe Ami discussed her…lack of plans; having only met her freinds formally all at least once, she could guess at their suggestions.
"Yes" Ami went on and explained "They suggested that I go over to their places"
"And why don't you?" Saeko leaded up against the door to rest, despite being two decades her senior, Ami still was about as tall as her mother, if you didn't notice the age marks or more mature doctor's expression, you could almost say she was an older sister to Ami.
"Well…" Ami started to recite what she had said before earlier in the day "Usagi and Minako already have a full house, relatives are visiting them. Rei has the temple events to worry about... and Makoto is staying with Usagi"
"So don't you stay over as well?"
"Usagi had to spend a few weeks getting permission…and they just don't have the room, Minako is pretty much the same"
Saeko pondered for awhile, Ami was right about not burdening the temple at this time of the year, the preparations and activity from Christmas to new years required too much attention.
"What about Setsuna?"
Ami froze for a moment. Despite all the things that happened during the last battle, they did remain pretty strongly connected to the other senshi, but besides the occasional meetings, Ami didn't really think of them as a place to spend Christmas with. It wasn't cold feet, it just had never occurred to her and in this case as well, even they had an excuse.
"I spoke to Setsuna last month, I think they were planning to go to Hokkaido for a ski-trip, if I asked them, they'd have to revise their booking"
Defeated of all possible options, Saeko rolled her back onto the door and looked upwards at the ceiling. Ami's friends were all too busy — though Saeko briefly wondered how hard it would be for Ami to stay at either Usagi or Minako's — and though from the sounds of it, she was right in not burdening them. Sending her to see her sister or her brother was one of the few things that came to mind, but without a real idea on what they were doing, it was pointless. Thinking about them for a while however did remind her of something else she had to do. While not really one for western traditions, her family did adopt some of the Christmas fervor in presents. While Saeko couldn't answer that question now, she could at least buy herself some time to ask about getting Christmas off.
"I'm not sure what my plans are but…" Saeko started to make her pitch "but do you finish school on Friday?"
"Yes, we don't even have a Saturday class this year" Ami replied, surprised that her mother had to be reminded when her holidays were starting.
"How about you and I go do some Christmas shopping then, I still have to buy presents for my family. So how about we do that this Friday?"
It was very unusual for her to make plans like this at all, so it understandably took Ami awhile to formulate a reply "are you sure you can get the time off for that?"
Knowing that the question wasn't suppose to be offensive was really what made it more so, but that it stung more for being true was really what bugged Saeko. Trying to get home on time, on a selected day was simply impossible…but what the heck, she'd try to anyway. If they couldn't give her Christmas, they could at least give her an afternoon and evening to do the shopping and do something with her daughter.
"I'll do my best"
With that, Ami started to smile again, when her mother she would do her best, she meant it. Sure there was the quite possibility that the administration would try stopping her, but there had been times in the past where she pulled through for Ami.
"I hope you can get the time too" Ami replied standing back upright and turning for her room. "I need to get some sleep"
"Goodnight Ami" Saeko replied quickly.
"Goodnight mom"
Just like that, Ami returned to her room, closed the door, and a minute later the light under her door dimmed out. Saeko now pondered about the promise she had just made; well it wasn't the first time she had said things and not been able to follow through…but there were also an equal number of times when she did. Closing her own door and turning out the lights, Saeko slumped into bed and wondered about it for another few minutes. At the end it was all the same, despite all she had learn about adult promises, she still believed to try.
'I will do my best'
Author's commentary: The first chapter can be a real pain to write, though it was a lot worse by the time I came back to re-read everything in terms of a clarity. What my problem was really establishing all the ground details for the rest of the story, asking myself 'how much information is too much' which was a common problem. Overall Its a decent start and it lays the ground work for this hopefully soon to be finished work.