Chapter 2:
A/N: Chained Loki Submission. TW: Abitof abuse goes on. angsty? In addition, we have a bit of timey-whimey mumbo jumbo to help change the tempo- this is post Avengers and Thor2 Also adding nonMarvel Nordic Characters that are canon... Loki doesn't appear here, so apologies. This is mostly a "mental" chapter. Many praises be to Marvel and Disney who own all rights here- please don't sue me. . . AND ITS FREAKING COLD AGAIN! GAH! Leave comments/and feedback please!
"I do not know. Sigyn has always been way that though. She's always trusted us to do make the right decision and been there to defend us when we didn't. Do not doubt her now; she just needs to mend herself, then who knows?" Sif shrugged, tipping down a cup of mead.
"I don't doubt her character, I doubt whether this is good for her to live like this. Loki's mind is unstable, but that was the longest he has been stable since his return to Asgard. Is it worth having him turn on her like that?" sighed Thor, " You didn't see her eyes after he threw her."
"No, but I was the one who slipped restberry in her drink so she'd be able to find peace this night. I saw the bruises too, though she wouldn't speak of them. Why don't you tell her what happened? Did he at least realize what he did? Once it faded."
Thor nodded, looking into his drink as he recalled watching Loki's eyes fade from blue to green, then red as his skin turned blue and ridges formed along his body. "He asked if she was badly hurt, and won't speak to anyone."
"I think what hurts most was knowing that he did that to her. After all, wasn't she the one who waited for his return and begged for you to take her to him once he came back?"
"Has he asked of the child?"
…
Stroking her silvery red hair back from her face, I smiled at Hela's yawn. "Go to sleep, skatten min. You've been up much too long."
"Fóstra, with Father locked away, you won't leave me too?" Her fleshed side of her face moved in concern, the pale bone side remained as neutral as always.
I stared at the Hela before pulling her to my chest, how could she even question that? She was the only child in my life.
"Hela, I'll never leave you. Your mother and I love you very much. She's coming, actually."
…
I sat on my balcony, legs crossed as I looked out across Asgard, contemplating our predicament. A week had passed since I had seen him, sometimes, like after he first left, I remembered things that made me weak and desirous of him. I woke from sleep, dreaming I was in his arms, only to feel alone and violated by my own mind. .
Deep within, I worried that I might stop breathing altogether if I did not remind myself to. As if I might crack and fall apart if I thought of much else. I wondered at times, that I managed to remind myself to breath- I did not want to, at times.
…
Thor was, if anything, too kind. Sometimes he would sit with me, late at night. In my maiden rooms, I had moved back to when Loki was gone. His rooms, our former rooms, served only to remind me of the loss of him. The bed, now empty, a cradle lying unused in the corner, and the carvings he had crafted. . .
He lay next to me, one night. A silent guardian against the night terrors as I saw the images of what Loki had done on Misgard. I picked them up from the others when they returned, far too fast for them to block the projections as I searched for word of Loki. And from the glance I had of him when the All Father banished him to isolation. Thor kissed my forehead as he hummed me to sleep that night.
Sif came with my breakfast to find Thor's arm clutching me tight to him, her biting words after he left asking if I had intended to never choose between the two.
I turned my head away, hoping to hide the tears that rose to falling, unwilling to admit he'd only done that when I had started shaking and could not awaken from the dream of Loki enjoying a slaying of people. I was tired of everything.
Unbidden, I mentioned that I could not help I was desired and she was not. The cruelty did not assuage any pain as I hoped it might.
I wished, not for the thousandths time, that everything would go back to where it was before. I just wanted my husband and a baby- we had tried for a long time to no success.
It would make the separation easier, I thought, to have something to hold. Something happy. Something I didn't have to share with Angrboda when she came to take Hela. I wasn't mad with her, I just. . . She had Hela, Fenir, and Jori.
Occasionally, I would wonder if my inability to carry a child was the reason Odin denied him. We couldn't carry on the line- something that mattered on and off again. And with Hela living, it proved to be my fault.