The day that I thought would never arrive had definitely arrived. I ought to know, I've been counting down the hours all night. I haven't been this nervous since, well, my first wedding. I just can't seem to calm myself down. This wedding to Mike is not nearly the ordeal that my first was. I spent a small fortune on just my wedding dress alone last time. It was a beauty; I was Princess Grace before Grace Kelly became her. Now I look at my gold dress that is a fraction of my first dress' cost and hope I make just as a good impression. I have chosen not to wear white again because I thought it would be in bad taste. I had already had three daughters and me and Mike both know we were not chaste during our five year courtship. Why should we have been? We were adults who were connected through our children and our grief. Rules don't apply to a relationship when both people start out broken.
That revelation was now hitting me. Yes, I was a broken person who met another broken person and we healed each other. We helped each other get where we are today and nothing can take that away from us. I don't care if it all goes wrong; I don't care if the kids get wild, I don't care if the wedding cake collapses or if I flub my vows. This day was going to be perfect with all the imperfections it may have, including the bride and the groom.
I can get out of bed now. I can now go downstairs and get my girls ready for this day. Bless my three little darlings because they know how hard our journies were. I shouldn't compare theirs with mine, though; they had lost their father and he was my husband. Pain is pain however.
"How happy are you three today?"
"Happy!" Cindy exclaims.
"Overjoyed!" Jan squeals.
"Estatic!" Marcia bursts out.
I just laugh and pull my daughter to me in a group hug. I think my own happiness may be rubbing off on them. When mama's happy, everybody's happy! We laugh all the way through our hair, makeup and dressing. It really felt like I had my three best friends in there with me.
"Hey, honey," my father says knocking. "Can I come in?"
"Yes," I say as the girls help me with my veil, my finishing touch.
He walks in and his jaw drops. I recognize that look; it was the same he gave to me when I first had gotten married. Tears well up in my eyes because I realize how awestruck he must be knowing that love found his daughter not once but twice. I go to him and hug him. He hugs me back and shoos the girls out of the room.
"Mike's here," he says, giving my cheek a kiss. "He's waiting for you."
"Thank you, daddy," I say, kissing him back. I always considered myself a daddy's girl. I was relieved when he understood why I didn't want him walking me down the aisle. He completely thought it made sense that Jan and Marcia would be walking me down the aisle this time. I am so lucky to have him and Mom. The butterflies come fluttering back when I hear the music playing outside.
"Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide now," dad jokes, taking my hand in his.
"I guess you're right," I say laughing.
It was a long walk down the stairs of my parent's house and then to the backyard. Through the backdoor I can see Cindy walking perfectly down the aisle while my heart swells with pride. I see the boys standing there so handsome in their suits and I can't believe I will soon have the honor of being their second mom. I can't really see Mike until I begin my walk down the aisle with Jan and Marcia by my side. He is so handsome he is taking my breath away. Then I look at the minister and I just pray that words will come out of my mouth to say my vows.
I do, in more ways than one. Everything that I thought I would never do again had been done again. Commiting to vows of love, honor, and cherish to my groom until death do me part. The sensation of him putting a ring on my finger. The excitement I felt when he finally kissed me. The tears I cried when me and Mike had our first dance. The delicious taste of white cake with vanilla icing in my mouth. The laughter that burst out of me when the bouquet I tossed was caught (by Alice) and the garter was ripped off my leg. For the record, I think that butcher friend of Mike's and Alice could really hit it off!
It really had been a magical day and I couldn't have hoped for better. Mike married me already and now here we are, waving our wedding guests, parents and children goodbye...