Rock Me to Sleep, Mother, – Rock Me to Sleep!

A.N.

Chapter title from Elizabeth Akers' poem, "Rock Me to Sleep."

While stillbirth is not the subject of this chapter, it does feature heavily towards the beginning. It gets lighter towards the end, though; I promise

Also, you probably noticed that I changed their sons name. I think Harvey is a much better name, and I've never been quite fond of Glenn Rogers Sousa. I think Harvey Rogers Sousa has a much nicer ring to it.

After learning of her second pregnancy, Peggy was filled with absolute terror.

She had already failed one child. She couldn't be trusted with another fragile young one.

She sat in silence on the hospital bed, while the doctor gave her a sympathetic look. She had been going to old Dr. Paulson for as long as she'd been in New York. He knew what had happened to the perfect little Theresa. He knew that Peggy and Daniel's beautiful angel had been ripped away before she even had a chance.

"This will go better, Mrs. Sousa. I promise you that," Dr. Paulson said, laying a comforting hand on her knee. Peggy simply shook her head. As Dr. Paulson left the room, she wept.

When Daniel got home from work that evening, he found Peggy in the nursery, sitting in the chair and clutching Theresa's bear with a white knuckled grip.

Neither of them spent very much time in the room that was meant to be the bedroom for their children - they both had found it to be an oppressive place. They had both grieved for their daughter, had both cried so many tears for the little one, and had both come to terms with the loss. It still hurt. It would always hurt. They knew that. Perhaps they hadn't accepted it, but they both knew that there would be no accepting of a loss such as that.

Still, both he and his wife tended to give a wide-berth to the uninhabited room.

That was why the nursery was the last room Daniel checked.

"Peggy..." Daniel murmured, moving into the bedroom slowly. "Is everything all right, amada?"

"I don't know, Daniel," Peggy whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. "I just don't know..."

Daniel walked over to his wife, slowly kneeling in front of her. "What's wrong?"

After a few moments, Peggy looked up at her husband, swiping away her tears. "We're with child, Daniel..."

Daniel felt his heart soar. He reached for Peggy's hand, slowly taking it away from the bear. "Peggy..." Daniel murmured, feeling tears pricking at his eyes.

"I know Daniel. It's terrible... a mistake, an absolute mistake..."

Daniel felt himself flinching away from his wife's words. "What do you mean, a mistake? Aren't you excited, amada?"

"Excited? Excited! Daniel, everything I touch dies. I'm bloody cursed!"

"I haven't died, Peg…"

"And, by God, do I thank the Lord everyday for that fact. If I lost you as well… I don't know what I'd do, Daniel, and I don't want to have to find out."

"You don't need to worry about me. There's only two ways I plan on checking out of here; peacefully in my sleep at 90 years old, or protecting you."

Peggy gave a watery smile. "I can protect myself," she murmured, repeating her often said response to his promises of protection.

"Exactly. So now, let's turn our focus to protecting our baby."

Peggy through her arms around her husband, giving him a tight hug. "I love you. By God, do I love you Daniel."

Peggy was fast asleep. Her stomach had hardly grown, but Daniel still felt his hand covering the bump every evening as they fell asleep.

He wasn't asleep yet, though. No, he was wide awake, wrapped around his wife as tightly as possible. Maybe if he was close enough he could protect both Peggy and their baby.

Daniel was terrified. He hadn't said a word to Peggy; she was having a hard enough time on her own. He didn't want to add his own fears to hers.

So, instead, Daniel spread his hand across the expanding bump, trying to form an added layer of protection.

He knew it was pointless. Theresa's passing had been unpreventable. It hadn't been caused by some outside force - that was something Daniel could have stopped. No, the death had just been by chance.

It didn't stop Daniel from trying, though. Oh God, did he try.

He just hoped that this time he would succeed.

"Peggy... this is wonderful news," Edwin murmured, giving her an awkward hug.

Peggy had decided that it was about time to tell their friends - after all, her usual clothing was nearing a stage of being to snug. She was noticeably showing, and the family she had chosen deserved to know.

"Peggy! Daniel! Mazel tov!" Anna exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

Angie stood, moving to stand in front of her friend. "Congrats, English," Angie murmured, throwing her arms around Peggy. "This one... This one will be different," she whispered in her friends ear.

"Thank you, Angie," Peggy whispered, giving her friend a squeeze back. "All of you, thank you so very much. Daniel and I have been so nervous about this... I'm so blessed to have support from each of you."

"We both are," Daniel said, moving to stand by his wife.

The five continued to chat for an hour, at which point Angie said she had to leave. "I got a hot date tonight; can't be late!"

That left the two couples.

"Anna, Edwin," Peggy began slowly. "Daniel and I know you are unable to have children. I truly can't believe how unfair that is. I can't imagine two people better suited to being parents. That's why Daniel and I... Well, we were hoping you might be willing to act as our child's godparents."

Anna was the first to react by bursting into tears. Edwin remained his stoic self, but Peggy could see the barest hint of tears beginning to form.

"Yes! God, yes," Anna exclaimed, throwing herself at Peggy.

"I... We are incredibly grateful, Peggy," Edwin murmured.

"What about... Rebecca if it's a girl and Raymond if it's a boy?" Peggy suggested.

The two were curled up together in their bed, each browsing through a book of baby names.

"Those are possibilities..." Daniel murmured. "Though I'm not sure about Raymond..."

"I'm not sure about Rebecca!" Peggy exclaimed, chuckling.

"Cora and Edward?"

"I knew a Cora... She was absolutely awful - completely stuck up. And there was an Edward in training with Steve - he was a terrible little prick."

"Alright," Daniel chuckled. "That's reason enough for me!"

"I think we should name the baby Harvey, if he's a boy..." Peggy murmured.

Daniel's eyes snapped from the page he was reading to his wife. "Peg..."

"He was your best friend, Daniel... I imagine he would appreciate you naming your son after him."

"Alright, but only if his middle name is Rogers."

It was Peggy's turn to look away from her book, her hand fluttering to her lips. "Daniel..."

"He was extremely important to both of us. Saved my life, and loved yours."

"Alright. But remember, it's you I love now, Daniel. I love you so very much."

"I know. And maybe... Eva?" Daniel suggested, liking how the name rolled off his tongue.

"My lord... They're perfect! Eva Grace or Harvey Rogers... How do those sound, Daniel?"

"Perfect... Absolutely perfect," Daniel whispered, pressing a kiss to his wife's crown or curls.

Daniel was once again in the waiting room of the hospitals maternity wing.

Peggy had gone into labor around two a.m.. Daniel had been surprisingly calm - God only knows how. He had calmly brought Peggy to the hospital, had signed all the necessary papers for admission, and watched as his wife was wheeled away from him.

It was when the door closes behind her that Daniel fell apart.

It's too soon... It's not been nine months. There's still a week... Something is going to go wrong!

The awful thoughts seemed to run through his mind on a loop; as soon as it would finish it would jump back to the first subject and start all over again.

So, he sat in the chair, his head in his hands, and tried to listen for the screams he had heard the last time he was there.

He didn't hear them. He didn't hear any screams.

He felt his heart break.

Daniel sat next to the bed that Peggy was in. She was still under the effects of the anaesthetics the nurses had given her.

Daniel was a father. The nurses had let him see their daughter for a few moments before taking her to the nursery, explaining that she needed to be kept in a clean environment to prevent infections. Daniel couldn't help the prickle of fear he felt - if the room wasn't clean, why was Peggy still there?

For now, though, he focussed on his wife. It had been three hours since Daniel had been allowed into his wife's hospital room, and yet she was still under. He found himself growing more and more agitated as each second passed. But still, he sat - clutching Peggy's hand like the lifeline it was.

"Daniel...?" A weak voice murmured, pulling Daniel back to the hospital room.

"I'm right here, Peg..." Daniel said, squeezing her hand and reaching with his free hand to caress her face.

"What happened?" Peggy said, her voice holding a tone of confusion.

"You brought a baby - our daughter - into the world."

"I don't remember... any of it. It's all a blank."

"Trust me, you were wonderful. You're always wonderful."

"Eva... Where is she? I want to see her!"

"Calm down, amada. She's in the nursery. I saw her; she was perfect, Peg, positively perfect."

"I need to see her," Peggy muttered, pushing herself into a sitting position. "Get me a wheelchair, Daniel; I have to see her."

"Peggy," Daniel said, pressing her back down onto the bed. "You need to relax, recover your strength. I'll find a nurse; I'm sure they'll bring her to you, Peg."

They're home; the three of them are finally home.

Peggy had been recovering in the hospital for a week, only allowed to see Eva at feeding times; even then a nurse was in the room, making sure Peggy stuck to the bottle feeding that they claimed was better for the baby.

Daniel hadn't been so lucky - he'd only been allowed to see Eva through the nursery window. He was pushed out of the room when Peggy was allowed time with their baby. The nurses gave two reasons; feeding was strictly for mother and child only, and that he might cause the baby to grow ill.

Now, though, it was over. They were together, watching little Eva where she lay, sleeping in her crib.

"She's perfect..." Daniel murmured, lightly trailing his finger over Eva's tiny fist.

"Obviously take after her mother," Peggy whispered, moving her fingers through their daughters thin brown curls.

"You're not wrong..."

"I don't know... She has your eyes. And chin."

"Luckily she got your nose and lips."

"She truly is perfect, Daniel..."

As the two stood by the crib, watching their newborn daughter, they both felt a bubble of hope swell in their chests.

A.N.

Here we are! Chapter two! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, also. I have no idea when chapter three will be up... Ideally it will be less than a week. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what angle I want to take with Harvey's story.