"Dean?" Castiel asked in the middle of eating his burger. "Are you alright?"
The brothers paused as all attention focused completely on Dean, who fidgeted awkwardly under their scrutiny.
"Fine," Dean replied, all but choking out the word. He tried to smile, perhaps that would mask the way his voice wavered in disagreement, but it came out as a grimace rather than a grin. It was clear that neither Sam nor Cas believed him, though they dropped the subject, Sam with a slow nod and a once-over that screamed this is not over, and Castiel with hesitant glances that didn't subside throughout the rest of the uncomfortable meal.
In retrospect, Dean should've anticipated an acknowledgement of his strange behavior. There weren't very many ways to avoid eating a sandwich subtly, after all. Guilt added itself to the noxious mix of emotions churning in him as he stared at his barely-touched meal, years of instinctual scrounging for Sam berating him for being so wasteful.
It wasn't as though he'd ordered the food purely to dismiss it, though. Dean was kicking himself for suggesting the one burger place in the area Sam knew he couldn't refuse, merely because he'd heard Cas' stomach growl.
Castiel reached across the table and took Dean's untouched food. The former angel seemed to be in his own little world as he inhaled the burger and carefully sampled the pie. There was no hesitation in Cas' movements as he broke a generous piece of pie off of the slice and brought it to his mouth, just innocent anticipation. There was complete faith in the hunter, something Dean didn't know how to handle. It absolutely repulsed him to think that the creature completely trusted the thing that had betrayed him, yet indignation was equally strong within the hunter. Accusations of betrayal were more numerous with the angel, who had destroyed Heaven, unleashed Leviathan, and tried to be God; why should Dean feel so guilty? Wasn't it Castiel's fault they were in Purgatory in the first place?
Castiel groaned, and the Winchester's wandering gazes immediately snapped to the distressed new-human. Dean made to get out of his seat, but Castiel motioned for him to sit. The former angel clutched his stomach, refusing to look at the food as he stifled another groan.
"You full?" Dean asked as he forced rising bile downward.
The former angel nodded sullenly, blinking up at the elder brother as he stood and motioned for Cas to do the same.
"You should probably get some sleep," Dean continued as he led the angel away from the table, Sam's attentive gaze fixed on the pair. Rather than give in to his ever-present discomfort, he ignored his brother's attention in favor of focusing on the task at hand. "I just got here, and I'm exhausted, and I drove here. I'm used to it; you aren't."
"I'm not all that tired," Castiel argued. "My stomach just aches."
"Well, resting will help with that too. You're human, and things are different with us. You'll be far weaker as a mortal than you were as an angel."
"I know, Dean, and I've accepted it," Cas murmured as Dean opened the door to the guest bedroom. The hunter didn't stray from the door as the former angel lumbered toward the bed and ran a hand over the soft comforter in complete fascination. He seemed perfectly content with his newfound humanity.
"You need anything?" Dean awkwardly asked after a motionless pause, both men staring at each other, Castiel's hand frozen on the bed.
Castiel shook his head and slipped under the covers without removing any clothing. The former angel stared at the ceiling with a strange intensity, as though demanding sleep from the powers that be, which, for all the hunter knew, was what he was doing.
It was then that Dean realized that Cas probably hadn't properly slept since he arrived fully human. Ignoring his discomfort and mounting self-deprication, the hunter strode forward until he reached the bed, Cas' attention focused entirely on him rather than the ceiling.
"You probably shouldn't sleep in those clothes; it's less comfortable," Dean explained as he crouched beside the bed and reached underneath. He pulled a long box out from under the bed and opened the cover, revealing a stash of clean, comfortable clothes. "These should work," Dean said as he selected a worn AC/DC shirt and grey sweatpants.
The hunter handed the former angel the items, both fascinated: Dean by Castiel's bemused and awed stare at the clothes, and Castiel at the action itself. Dean didn't understand his expression until their eyes met, green eyes confronting shining, gratified blue. The hunter blushed and turned away from him, giving the man privacy as he heard the rustling of sheets and clothes falling away from pale, smooth skin...
"Thank you," Cas said, his voice roughened further with exhaustion. It sent shivers dancing down Dean's spine, and he was thankful that he was facing away from him.
"You're welcome," Dean replied as he grasped the door knob. "Call me if you need anything."
"I will," He heard the former angel murmur as he stepped into the hallway and gently closed the door behind him.
Dean paused outside the door for a moment, listening to the faint sounds of Cas reentering the bed before returning to the kitchen.
Sam was toying absentmindedly with his rabbit food, though upon Dean's entry, his head whipped up and his mouth opened as Dean braced himself. "What is wrong with you and Cas?" The younger brother asked as he stood from the table. "You were weird earlier, and don't tell me you're okay, because I know you're not, and Cas knows it too."
"Sam, leave it alone. It doesn't concern you."
"Yeah Dean, it does. Cas is human, and that worries me as much as the next guy, and I want to help him too, but he's my friend too. I have every right to worry about him as you do."
"No you don't," Dean snapped. "You weren't in Purgatory with us; you don't understand what we went through."
"If Purgatory strengthened the bond between you two so much, then why are you the one acting repulsed by Cas' humanity? You couldn't even handle him eating with us. How does that qualify as a deeper understanding?"
Dean stormed away, unable to channel his fury into words. He couldn't handle his brother's presence, couldn't handle anything about the situation. All he wanted was to be on the road without this crap. No angels, no apocalypse, just the seemingly hopeless hunt for their dad. Why couldn't life be simple like that again?
"Profound bond, my ass," Sam muttered.
That was the final fucking straw. Fury tinged Dean's' vision blood red as he surged forward, catching his younger brother unaware as he pinned him against the wall. How dare he insult their relationship.
"Shut your fucking pie hole before I shut it for you. You don't know shit about our relationship," Dean hissed, slamming Sam once more into the wall before releasing him.
The younger Winchester stared at his brother in equal parts annoyance and amusement. He opened his mouth, snarky reply nearly bursting from his lips as a low shriek interrupted their argument. Dean pushed past his younger brother, their previous conversation far from his mind as he motioned for Sam to stay in the kitchen; he'd go see what was wrong with Cas.
Apprehension quickly replaced his anger as the hunter reached the closed door. Bursting into the room, Dean beheld the strange sight of a former angel writhing in bed sheets, screaming at a product of his imagination. Strange as it was to imagine Castiel with an imagination, Dean couldn't help but wonder what would send him into a frenzy.
Another shout tore itself from his lips, and Dean sprang into action. He jostled Cas' shoulder, verbally consoling the former angel as he awoke from his slumber with the knowledge that it was all just a dream, that everything was fine. Cas jolted awake, blinking confusedly up at Dean before flinging his arms around the hunter. Awkwardly, Dean sunk closer to him and returned the favor, straining to listen to the words tumbling quietly into the silence. After a moment of waiting, he finally began to understand the rambling.
"It wasn't all a dream, Dean. It wasn't a dream."
Dean shuddered, ashamed of himself and grieved by the knowledge of Cas' pain. He tightened the embrace and internally kicked himself. All this time, Sam had been right, he was repulsed by the angel's newfound humanity, his hand in permanently crippling his celestial friend, but how much more so would Castiel be? It was a complete downgrade, to fall from angelic grace into murky humanity.
"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry."
Two weeks passed with little change. Dean and Sam acted as though their altercation didn't exist as they assisted Castiel; however, the tension was palpable, an annoying, tangible presence that everyone felt.
To make matters worse, Castiel withdrew from more serious topics. Whenever he could sense that Dean was trying to start a conversation about his reoccurring nightmares or their time in Purgatory, the former angel ignored all advances or changed the conversation. He never fled from Dean physically, though he didn't allow Dean anything else.
For all of his silence, Cas didn't want to be alone. He clung to Dean's presence far more than what was expected, though the hunters quickly grew used to the strange dynamic. It was odd, to see the former angel earthbound, to watch him flee mentally rather than physically. The elder hunter drew comfort in Cas' presence, suffering through the guilt in favor of the knowledge that Cas was, if nothing else, alive.
During the two weeks, they didn't go on a single hunt. They had their hands full as it was, dealing with a newly-mortal angel; adding a hunt to the mix would be too much. Sam, however, grew antsier with every day passing as more and more strange absences and/or murders came to his attention.
The younger Winchester currently sat on the chair beside the couch, laptop resting atop his thighs as he sighed and peered closer at the screen. Dean sat on the couch, Cas right beside him, their arms touching as the former angel fiddled with the remote and Dean stared at the screen, a rerun of Dr. Sexy M.D. providing decent, if not overdramatic, background noise.
Dean, of course, knew exactly why his brother was sighing, and it grated on his nerves. If Sam wanted to go on a hunt, what was there to stop him?
"You wouldn't mind me working alone?" Sam asked as Dean vocalized his question.
Dean replied in the negative, and that was that. Within the hour, Sam left for Arkansas, and Dean and Castiel were all by themselves, side-by-side on a dilapidated couch with an overdramatic soap opera blaring in the background. Immediately, Dean saw the error of his ways.
They hadn't been properly alone since the day Dean had found Cas, human and lost in Bobby's home, and neither of them knew what to do. Or, to clarify, Dean was absolutely lost and Castiel just continued to stare at the screen, actually paying attention to one of the new interns weeping pathetically about how much they loved Dr. Sexy...
Dean shifted on the couch, suddenly unable to stomach the inane drivel filling the silence. Surely Cas would want to talk when it was just the two of them.
"Cas," Dean began as he lowered the volume. "We need to talk."
Cas glanced at the hunter apprehensively but made no move to stop him.
"Is everything okay?"
"Why wouldn't it be? We're resting in Bobby's home, I'm human, and Sam is off hunting by himself."
"Cas, we're doing our best to help you," Dean replied, unsure of the sincerity of his words. With anyone else, he would've immediately interpreted their words as sarcasm, but he wasn't sure with Cas. For the first time in years, Dean had no idea how to interact with Castiel.
"And I appreciate it, but you don't have to stop hunting entirely. Coddling me will only hurt you in the long run. I can help you hunt, if you'd let me. I want to be a hunter, like you and Sam."
Dean didn't know how to reply to Cas' request. It would be nice to have an extra set of hands, but Dean worried about how his humanity would factor into the equation. He almost replied in the negative, but then those big blue eyes were pinning him with a painfully hopeful gaze, and he relented.
The result was the widest grin the hunter had ever seen on Cas' face, and warmth stirred within him at the sight. His concern melted away as he found himself smiling in return. If Castiel could still find joy despite falling so low, maybe there was hope after all.