A/N So, I know it's been a long long time since the last update to this story, but hopefully most people in the Italian fandom have pushed me to reconsider my work on fan fictions because of their behaviors. So, simple as that, I'll be posting a lot more on and a less in Italian, so that I can translate all my works freely.
This means that the next chapters are going to come faster and I'll update as soon as I can, especially once July will be over. Hope you forgive me if I wasn't so active at the beginning on because I'm now changing my schedules ^^.
Let me know what you think! – xoxo
Ps - I'm fixing part 1 too!
/
Part 2
"It's e-nor-mous!" Kurt comments spontaneously, once he has stepped into the Smythe estate (he can't help but lifting his chest at the thought that it's about to become the Smythe-Hummel estate).
When Sebastian walks beside him, smiling a little, Kurt admits he is quite stunned about the fact that he isn't making fun of his spontaneous comment, but he is just smirking as usual. Kurt lifts his free hand, the one not holding one of the bags, and slaps Sebastian's left arm.
He can't help but being surprised, maybe even more than he is about the building itself: after they had that serious conversation, he has thought Sebastian would have acted like nothing happened, ignoring Kurt's pleadings for the sake of their parents' marriage; surprisingly, Kurt has to admit that Sebastian is trying harder than he'd ever expected.
They still spend a lot of time ignoring one another, as much as they can, paying attention to the one another's existence occasionally, just like they're doing now; but, at least, when they're around Burt and Marie, they try to make it work, laughing, joking between them (that mask is soon replaced by insults and murderous gazes whenever their parents leave the room).
There's clearly a part of Kurt that thinks that if they can act like they are joking, it has to mean that there is at least a little chemistry between them because, as much as the talks could sound forced, he isn't sure that laughs are too. At the same time, he knows he couldn't stand spending entire days without cursing him or insulting him or whatever, so, maybe – just maybe – things are right the way they are. Kurt would deny he'd want to know more about Sebastian because he is getting curious to rather admit that he is getting closer to him in order to find out his secret.
Yeah, because the most negative thing about the month they have spent together is that, no matter how hard he has tried, he hasn't been able to find out about it. He couldn't read the looks and the gestures that came out around some lines, jokes or talks, and a person like Kurt Hummel can suffer physically for unsatisfied curiosity.
When the thought crosses his mind, he turns to Sebastian, studying his face and the signs on his skin; he traces his freckles, almost as if they seal a secret the rest of his body isn't ready to confess, and then go down to his lips: he can't deny, sadly, that he has stopped a few times staring at Sebastian's mouth just like he is doing at the moment.
He obviously knows the boy beside him is Sebastian Smythe, the one that has tortured him for months and months in high school, one joke after another, and maybe that's the main reason he is able to move his gaze away every single time.
He also knows there is no real reason not to enjoy the show: while standing in the hall of his new residence, Kurt can't help but staring at his face and he has no idea why he is doing it (he tries to think that maybe the colored glasses of the artistic windows are making him more interesting, but oh, there aren't any colored-glassed-windows in the house so …).
"Haven't they caught you up jerking off while whispering my name yet?" Sebastian teases him, low voice, turning towards him, probably because they parents are right behind them, carrying bags around.
It's inevitable for Kurt to blush at that and he murmurs something while his skin is becoming redder and redder, making him feel like his face is on fire.
Of all the times that he has been caught staring, this is probably the worst, and he knows why: all the other times, Kurt has assured that Sebastian was doing something, anything, even eating, so that he could tell him that the was looking at him only because he was being terribly awkward (it's a lie, of course, because Sebastian is hardly awkward in his movements), in a vain attempt to bring down his ego.
Right now, though, Sebastian isn't doing absolutely anything but standing next to him and looking at him with a grin that promises nothing but whole days of joke if Kurt doesn't say anything to justify himself immediately.
"When will you understand that the universe doesn't revolve around you, Sebastian?" He asks, sharply, "I was admiring the charm of this stunning house."
"Better known as 'I want your mouth on me'." Sebastian teases and Kurt smashes his hand-bag on the back of his head.
He feels weird when Sebastian laughs, avoiding the bag, instead of snapping back with a few bad jokes. It would have be enough to shock Kurt for the next three years, but Sebastian pushes it even further: he turns fully toward him to gently rest his hands on Kurt's hips.
Kurt feels particularly stupid when his dazed eyes follow the gesture, but when lifts his gaze up again to meet Sebastian's, he sees that the boy doesn't have his usual malicious little light around his green gems. His fingers are holding Kurt's hips.
Kurt has no idea what's happening now but he just smiles, instead of smirking (which is so completely out of the schemes for them).
On this very moment, Kurt is sure that he would pay all the money in the world simply to be able to know what's going through Sebastian's mind as he feels his tight hold over his jeans almost as if he's touching his skin, indeed, under his skin.
He doesn't have much time to think, however, because Sebastian lets his hands drop from his waist as fast as he has grabbed him and seconds later the house is filled exclusively by Burt's comments, while Marie and him drag their suitcases inside.
He starts at the look on Sebastian's face, this time wondering, but Smythe is already looking somewhere else and a few seconds later he is already heading upstairs.
For a moment, just for a moment, Kurt's brain is crossed by the crazy idea that Sebastian has sent him some sort of coded message like a malicious 'up with me', 'follow me' or something. He realizes almost immediately what he has thought however, and he wonders if it's the air you breathe at the Smythes' place that makes you think stuff like this.
He's very relieved that he has removed the thought before his mind could begin to fantasize too dangerously, maybe about Sebastian's bedroom.
"Kurt," his dad forces him to turn around, catching his attention, "this is the last one. I dragged your bags so far, but I won't drive all six upstairs." He tells him, teasing him, with a smile on his face.
Kurt scowls, particularly because he feels lazy, he's exhausted from the cruel selection of clothing he had to make (because it had been painful for Kurt, every cloth was like a son and throwing some stuff away had been almost traumatic for him), but he doesn't complain. Instead, he walks quickly to pack up and lift a pair of bags from the floor, beginning to carry them up to the stairs of this stunning estate.
It's a bit complicated, but he manages to reach the first floor.
When he finds himself in the hall, however, he's not very sure where he's supposed to go: there are quite a lot of rooms and he has no idea what he's going to be his own. Plus, the fact that the doors are all closed doesn't help him.
He puts his bags against the wall, making sure the movement is gentle to avoid staining the wall, then he begins wandering around, exploratory. He utters a childish formula, one of those you say when you're a child to decide who would have the honor of starting a game, and he chooses the a door.
He stops in front of it, studying it, unsure about what to do, but soon realizes that he can't spend the whole day in the hallway. He hopes it's not one of those rooms where people hold skeletons in their closets (Well, maybe it's just the room where Sebastian keeps all his porn stuff) e puts his hand on the door-handle, pulling it down.
He pushes the door, opening it, and instantly freezes to the vision that appears before his eyes: his gaze immediately stops on Sebastian's back: it's naked, perfect, even tanned, hot, wonderful and he's ... out of adjectives right now, or maybe saliva, since his mouth is hyper-dry.
He sees his muscles twitch while his arms stretch out, extending in mid-air while he slips off his shirt thin.
Kurt's eyes are totally imprisoned, chained to such an unordinary show. It's almost erotic, to the point that he's not able to move out of his position. His gaze inevitably wanders down Sebastian's body, exploring the surface, until it's resting on his ass, perfectly covered by these tight jeans.
Kurt is sure he has never felt so turned on in his entire life just by looking at someone's back.
He spontaneously takes a step back, almost frightened out by his thoughts, when he sees Sebastian's arms fall down and approach at the zipper of his jeans. Unfortunately for him, however, his feet have stepped on a slightly upwards tile and Sebastian's ears haven't missed the sound caused by the contact.
Sebastian is turning abruptly toward him now.
Kurt can immediately read something in his eyes that he has never seen before: terror, Sebastian is blinking rapidly, licking his lips, he's in panic, and Kurt can't understand why; what's before his eyes (his back and, by the way he turned, so even chest and abdomen, and all of his muscled torso) is absolutely perfect.
His mind suggests the weird idea that an apparently self-confident guy like Sebastian could, in fact, feel insecure about his own body, the way he looks, when he's not fucking around.
It's a quite credible hypothesis: there are plenty of people who make jokes and brag when, in fact, they're simply unsure and trying to convince themselves of what they're saying, but Kurt also has to admit that Sebastian has never seemed this type of person, maybe because he has rarely shown insecurities.
Silence is lasting too long and the situation is getting very embarrassing.
"I'm sorry, I-" Kurt tries to explain then, "I was looking for my room and-"
"Could you knock?" Sebastian cuts, nervously and unkindly. "I know you already feel like it's your fucking house, but could you at least knock before entering my room?" He asks again and Kurt can't help but notice that he's being defensive, although he doesn't exactly know why he's felt the need to act like this.
It's a bad thought at that moment, perhaps, but he has the feeling that this is the first completely improvised dialogue they have: nothing planned in the gestures, words, just pure spontaneity.
"Y-yeah ..." He stutters at the thought, forcing himself to speak when he realizes that he hasn't answered his question. "You're right, I'm sorry, I-"
"Could you get out?" Kurt tries not to focus on Sebastian's hesitant tone of voice because it's something completely new, he isn't used to this, he doesn't know how to feel, what to do, how to react.
He decides that the best thing to do is simply to obey the order: he looks down, embarrassed, in an attempt to add something, but nothing comes out. He just simply takes a step back and closes the door without giving second looks to the body he has just admired.
He'll spend the rest of his day wondering exactly what has happened, because he can't really decode it.
/
It's been two days of nothing.
Kurt doesn't know why the fact that Sebastian hasn't spoken to him from that little incident makes him feel weird, because they're used not to say anything to each other for days, except for dinner time.
He thinks it's because the last words they exchanged were rather embarrassing and that, therefore, Sebastian wants to avoid creating some kind of strange environment at home, but he's not sure that it's the right explanation.
He is lying on the bed, eyes on the ceiling and arms lifted, while searching for a seemingly completely random way to force Sebastian to talk to him. He shouldn't want it, but he craves talking to him because he remembers the natural way in which Sebastian has placed his hands on Kurt's hips (a gesture Kurt's still trying to read into), and especially after all those thoughts he has also come to the realization that, now, he has seen Sebastian refrain from something that he still isn't sure about.
As days go by, the boy seems to become sort of a mystery to him.
He narrows his eyes, and quickly, Sebastian's body is back into his imagination.
Again.
In the last two days, of course, Kurt hasn't been able to remove the vision of Sebastian's muscles twitched at his natural movements and the way in which even his back seems to be extremely hot.
He wonders if it's even possible to be so attracted to a back.
And most importantly he can't help but wonder if what the rest of his body looks like.
However, it's not a thought that concerns him, especially when applied to Sebastian: he hates it that, when things have seemed to improve (Kurt just can't forget about those hands on hips, even though, however it seemed to him more like a possible fraternal gesture), they've found a good excuse not to talk to each other.
Sebastian is avoiding him: he has also stopped smirking at him evilly, to grin ironically and Kurt could swear he has never wanted it so much as he wants it now.
He can't help but wonder why it's happened: it's not the end of the world, he has seen Sebastian shirtless, just that. Of course, for Kurt it has been incredibly hot, but since Sebastian has such an unfortunate reputation, Kurt would never have imagined that he could feel embarrassed to show his body (he has, actually, really little to be ashamed for, c'mon, he's like living porn).
His mind begins to suggest that maybe he hasn't been careful enough, maybe his eyes had focused on that the perfect mass of muscles and he's missed something more important, maybe an embarrassing birthmark, or something like that.
He immediately discards the idea because, as awkward a craving as it might be, Kurt doesn't believe it could even freeze the dialogue between two people permanently.
The worst thing is that his brain doesn't manage to produce better excuses. He finds himself completely defenseless against what has happened, he doesn't know how to take it.
He wonders why there always has to be all of this mystery around Sebastian anyway: couldn't they have a normal conversation? Maybe a conversation in which Kurt doesn't have to think about it for hours and deduct a billion improbable things before realizing that he's not even able to come to a logical conclusion and has wasted his days lying on the bed in his room thinking about it.
But, probably, that's just the way Sebastian is, so Kurt would have to resign at the idea of not being able to live a day without thinking at least about these billion questions.
/
It happens sooner than Kurt hasn't expected.
He's sitting on the sofa in living room, relaxed back in his chair, eyes fixed on the reruns of Will & Grace on air, but feeling heavy into a state of drowsiness. Everything seems to be warm and welcoming, maybe because summer is coming, or maybe because his new home and his new family are warm and welcoming.
Or they should at least.
It has been exactly one week since Sebastian has given him the last word and he still can't find some convincing explanations.
He doesn't have much time to continue to torment himself with these thoughts in the state that preceded sleep and that seems to be when exactly these thoughts take over as during his waking life he has decided to ignore (a hard mission in fact, especially when Sebastian walks quietly for home, ignoring him though), but he feels the couch moving next to him.
He needs to blink a lot of times, before he can open his eyes, to look at his left.
He almost jumps off the sofa when he sees Sebastian, next to him, who's staring at him in almost terrifying way (Kurt can't think he's some kind of freak, otherwise he's not going to sleep is this freaking enormous estate like, never again) and, above all, extremely close distances.
He has no idea what's going on and, for a moment, he wonders if it's a couch dream, and he's still terrified because he's not used to the idea of dreaming Sebastian; he'd feel embarrassed by his own mind, guilty of having dare dared such a thing without his permission.
The seconds pass without anything happening, just looks, and only when Sebastian's insistent breath beats against his mouth, Kurt becomes aware that it would totally be a nightmare instead of a dream (it's a better option than 'dream', makes him feel comfortable with the idea of it), but Sebastian is really there, beside him on the couch, staring at him.
"Is there ... something I can do for you?" Kurt asks, his voice soft, yet subtle from sleep.
"Unfortunately, yes."
Now Sebastian's voice rings around his ears: Kurt can't even explain what the hell that is supposed to mean, but hearing it after a week is way more traumatic than he had imagined. The sense of anxiety is soon replaced by the need of having to know what's so serious to force Sebastian to talk to him after he had so firmly denied him that.
"So?" He asks when he realizes that Sebastian's not continuing, but he's merely keeping his disgusted grimace on his face, looking haughty.
Sebastian hesitates for a few seconds.
"We have to go to the seaside." It's what comes out from his lips, so softly that Kurt almost misses it.
Almost.
This makes him understand how reluctant Sebastian could be even at the simple idea of going to the seaside together.
Wait a minute.
Why on earth would they have to go to seaside together?
His expression becomes instantly confused, as he waits for an explanation: for some reason, he is sure that Sebastian doesn't want to share friendly experiences like this with him.
"Why?" It's his spontaneous question, as he watches Sebastian snort and lean back against the couch.
"Why, why, why?" Sebastian imitates him ironically, before turning back to him. "Can't you just say a fucking 'yes'?" he asks, and Kurt wonders what he's done wrong. He can't seriously still be nervous about such a thing, God: Kurt has just seen his naked back, nothing more.
He is just about to give him a lecture about how rude he is, but Sebastian continues, anticipating him.
"I hate this, I hate that my mother wants us to stick together," he complains, looking at Kurt with contempt, "she came to me saying stupid things like 'oh, just when you were starting to get along, why don't you guys talk anymore?'. Why doesn't she get that I don't want to talk to you?" He is still bitching, while Kurt is thinking that he wants to know the answer to Marie's question too.
Why don't they talk anymore? He can't still be angry with him for something so childish, though it's obvious that Sebastian knows how to be childish.
"Okay, since you aren't going to explain things decently," Kurt interrupts him, having lost the thread of those unlimited complaints, "we must go to seaside together just because your mom wants us to? Don't you think you're old enough to decide?" Kurt teases with a playful smile that Sebastian doesn't return, however, in fact: the look he gives him is one of total and absolute disdain.
Kurt has no idea what he has done to be hated so much by the time he has seen him the first time.
"Yes," Sebastian cuts short. "We've got to go to seaside because my mother wants us to."
Kurt refrains from laughing, although the idea that his mother still orders him what to do amuses him, despite Sebastian's terrible temper.
"Okay, then," he says, quiet, "I am willing to go to seaside with you for the sake of this family if you stop ignoring me and pretending I don't even exist."
Kurt is sure he can read something more docile into the gaze that Sebastian gives him; simply, it's written in a language he doesn't understand, so he can't read through it.
He is tired of this aura of mystery, he wants to get to know Sebastian – he hates the idea of wanting to know him, but they have to live together and they'd be idiots to continue to ignore each other or behave badly - and he can't take any more.
"And ..." Sebastian replies, after several seconds of mysterious looks, "By that you mean that I should talk to you? Talk to you as if you were a human being or something? "
Kurt rolls eyes at these words because it's amazing that he has the nerve to even try to be funny when he is in a situation like this: he has to explain clearly because Kurt hasn't yet found a valid reason to his bad behavior, nor as regards the high school times, or the moment when he has stopped talking to him for the simple fact that Kurt had accidentally entered his room (without even knowing it was his).
"No," Kurt sighs, looking up at the ceiling, "I want you to understand that I am a human being and ..." he has to hesitate a bit before uttering these words, "that the way you're treating me hurts me."
He has no idea when he's really started to care for the way Sebastian treats him. Of course, first he thought he was annoying and he would have preferred that he stopped; but getting hurt is an absolute novelty.
And then, uttering these words, his greatest fear is that Sebastian could, in some way, make fun of him, show off the fact that Kurt cares about him or something, maybe even suggesting that Kurt is in love with him or has a crush on him.
Yet nothing like that happens.
Sebastian grins at him, but he merely bothers with his frustrating expression and not with words.
"Sorry," He replies and Kurt is obscenely surprised with the way that word is leaking from Sebastian's lips, sincerely, "I didn't mean to hurt you," He points out, however, a little ironic, but not enough to be chilly, "I didn't know it could ... affect you."
For a second, just for a second, Kurt imagines that Sebastian can be thinking something like, 'I didn't think you cared at all about what I do or I say', but clearly he has to dismiss that thought at the speed of light because Sebastian is talking to him and he isn't going to make things more strange than necessary, not right now when he has a slight chance to fix things.
"Okay."
But he does instead.
After the simple answer there's only silence.
Kurt isn't sure of the fact that Sebastian is looking at him, can't know because he is keeping his eyes down and utterly fails to find a way to lift his gaze.
He doesn't want to interrupt the moment and, instead, he's managed to create more tension than before - which is saying something, because before they were tenser than a violin string - not until Sebastian threatens to give him a heart attack, shifting fast along the couch and stopping an inch away from him.
Kurt blushes instantly, flushed evidently, as he lifts his gaze, not completely but enough to be able to stare at Sebastian's thin lips curved into a smile that Kurt definitely doesn't expect, not in such a delicate moment that should make Sebastian burst into laughing. Then he realizes he is staring at his mouth, and suddenly, his breath is lost, wandering on the skin of Sebastian's face; it makes him tremble, shakes him.
What's happening?
Is Sebastian going to kiss him?
Kurt has no idea what the real reaction of his body is: he doesn't know if it's just quivering in terror or longing to reach Sebastian's mouth; Sebastian's neck leans forward slowly too. He is leaving Kurt a choice, but Kurt doesn't know what to do because he has no idea what his body really wants, so how is he supposed to choose?
However, Sebastian denies this - or perhaps he realizes that he can't wait for Kurt: his lips part dangerously close to those of Kurt who is shivering and isn't sure what is shaking him about this (it could be the desire to taste these lips, it could be the reluctance to do so, and, actually, it could be both).
They are there, a few inches separating them now.
"Sebastian!"
Marie's voice coming from the entrance makes them both startle, almost threatening to make that kiss an accident caused by involuntary movement of their bodies. Sebastian almost loses his balance and Kurt realizes only now that his back has slightly bent back along the couch, and Sebastian's arms are surrounding his hips.
The footsteps coming from the other room become closer and closer, and when Marie seems now to have reached the end of the hallway, Sebastian snaps to return to a standing position, back straight, sitting on the couch.
Kurt, of course, does the same, although he is still shocked, because the last thing he needs is having to explain to his father and Marie something even he isn't sure about (not that he feels guilty: he hasn't yet forgotten the secret language between Sebastian and his mother and wants to know absolutely what that is about, so he isn't the only one who wouldn't be completely honest in the house by the way).
When he returns mentally sober, though, Kurt turns to Sebastian, meeting his gaze fixed upon him: it is surprising and it shocks him even more, but Kurt decides that wisest thing to do is pretending he hasn't noticed.
Marie comes into the room and the two boys turn to look at her, seeing her smile and greet with one hand, while with the other she's holding a full shopping bag.
"Hey," She greets them both, walking towards them, without realizing what she's just interrupted. "Hey, Kurt. Have you guys talked about ... that little thing?"
For a moment, Kurt notices the annoyed grimace on Sebastian's face, as if he feels deeply uncomfortable because of something which Kurt isn't even sure about, as usual.
"Yes, mom," he answers, however, just when Kurt had opened his mouth to reply, "it's okay. We talked about it, Kurt agrees and there's no need to make such a deal for ... a damn day at the seaside!" He tells her, but he instantly gets a slap behind his head that makes him groan unhappily.
"Don't use that tone of voice with your mother, Sebastian." Marie scolds him, strict, before she's smiling to Kurt. "I hope you don't mind, Kurt. I just thought if you spend some time together, it might be good for you and our family. "
Kurt shakes his head and instantly smiles back - even though there is nothing to smile at the idea of going to the seaside with Sebastian, especially after he has … tried to kiss him? - Before he curls his lips wryly.
"I'll do my best not to kill him," he says with a laugh, pointing to Sebastian, "but I can't guarantee anything."
"This isn't funny." Sebastian opposes instantly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I hate you already separately, but at the moment I'm definitely starting to hate you even more when you are together and I don't think I can stand it if you ally."
Both Marie and Kurt giggle to Sebastian and that only unnerves him even more; Kurt thinks it's because he isn't used to being put with his back against the wall, so it's normal that the situation confuses him.
When Sebastian glares murderously at him however, he doesn't look amused, or playful, and Kurt wonders if he is really going to pretend that nothing was happening only a few seconds ago. What would have happened if Marie didn't walk in? Was Sebastian going to kiss him?
It isn't even one of the biggest problems: if Sebastian kissed him, Kurt would resist it? He isn't sure, because he was helping to cut the few inches that between their lips, just a little earlier. For a moment, he thinks that this is all the fault of the damn afternoon if he has seen his body, his perfect back, and his defined muscles; if it wasn't for that, he probably wouldn't have thought before he slapped Sebastian. That vision, however, had confused him a lot and he has to admit it, that body had impressed him, making him all too interested in studying its lines again as if they were the outlines of a masterpiece.
"But I think Kurt and I would be a wonderful duo!" Marie complains, and when Kurt looks up to meet her gaze, she gives him a wink, looking for his collaboration.
Kurt nods instantly, turning to Sebastian but he has already worried about looking bad in anticipation, as if to warn Kurt that he would surely suffer the consequences of what he is going answer. Clearly, however, that look isn't enough to scare Kurt because he needs this conversation to ward off the dangerous thought of his new step-brother's lips and back.
"Exactly," He replies and Sebastian's look, if possible, becomes even grimmer, "We win on you separately, then the alliance will make us invincible!"
He isn't sure he can seriously talk about his feud with Sebastian in front of Marie that might think that he's insulted him or something - that is exactly what happens (when Sebastian doesn't stop talking to him for days), but she doesn't need to know it, so - but his stepmother simply laughs, making Sebastian even more nervous, so much so that his arms against his chest tighten further as if they were a shelter.
"You're not going to win this." He points out instantly. "Simply, sometimes, I get pity and decide to let you win it doesn't mean anything except that I have a big heart in spite of what you say about me."
Kurt isn't sure what the gaze Sebastian is throwing at him means, so he just swallows, intimidated by these green eyes that are peering attentively.
"Seb," Here comes another slap at the back of his head and this time Sebastian moans with a resounding 'ouch!', "How many times have I told you not to embarrass Kurt with your nonsense?"
Sebastian is about to argue with some kind of unpleasant words, but Kurt seems willing to anticipate.
"Don't worry, Marie," he says, with a comfortable smile, so that the woman immediately turns a grudge - caused by her son - in a sweet smile, "Sebastian and I have known each other for a long time, actually, so I'm very used to the way he behaves." He doesn't even notice Marie's expression of surprise to the fact that they knew each other, because he is busy watching Sebastian carefully, as he says these words. "I've learned to accept him as he is, seen that it seems obvious to me that Sebastian has no intention to change and, since it's necessary for the good of this house, I might as well get used to like him, despite everything."
Since there is still something that eludes him, Kurt isn't able to decipher exactly the silence that surrounds all three after he's uttered these words: Marie is silent, rolling her eyes, almost nervously, and Sebastian stares into space, unable to turn to Kurt back and return the gaze.
And Kurt hates not knowing what is happening. He needs to figure out because he can no longer bear to live in this house without knowing. He is beginning to have a pathological need to know. It's not about his curiosity anymore; it's about his sanity.
A few seconds pass, they remain silent and Kurt has absolutely no idea of what he has said to cause the tension, but there seems to be something terrible fragile – he doesn't know what - that would simply break if he opens his mouth to alter the apparent calm.
"Well," Marie breaks the silence, startling both boys, who have been swimming in an ocean of thoughts, "then I think you should begin to get your bags ready."
Her tone of voice is warm and accommodating and again Kurt wonders how it is possible, seen the muffled air they were breathing a moment before. For a brief second, his eyes catch the movement of Sebastian's shoulders that makes him realize that his stepbrother is breathing slowly, almost in relief at the change of topic.
"Right, Mom." He says, turning to Kurt and immediately seeking his complicity.
For a moment, Kurt reads in his eyes that he is simply frightened at the idea that the argument can't change, Kurt can insist on that point, out of curiosity, and he wants to, he wants to do it so much because he can't survive without knowing what is happening between these walls, his curiosity would kill him. However, Sebastian's docile look, right now – has he got double personality or something? - convinces him just to smile.
"I agree." Kurt whispers, and he's surprised from the warm tone of voice he has used in pronouncing these words.
Marie looks at the scene smiling and decides it is the right time to walk away, stepping backwards and continuing to look at both, until she's disappeared behind the columns that lead to the kitchen. Kurt follows the movement with his eyes before returning to Sebastian that, surprisingly, is still looking at him that way (for some well-motivated reason, Kurt had thought that after Marie'd disappeared, Sebastian would have put his Sebastard armor back in an attempt to hide moment of weakness Kurt had caught just before, hoping that he forgets about it).
"Thank you."
It's a shock.
Hearing these little words uttered from Sebastian Smythe's lips is amazing and Kurt finds himself admiring the way it warms his whole body for the simple and sincere tone of gratitude in these words.
Kurt simply decides to nod though with a smile on his lips and he can't help but wonder why they haven't spoken for a week if, in the end, Sebastian, in fact, somewhere inside him, really can try to be more pleasant. Maybe it's simply the fact that Kurt had glossed over that mysterious topic and had avoided asking questions that has softened him and Kurt doesn't know if it's something permanent or if it would be gone after a while, maybe right after this conversation on sofa that now seems to be coming to an end.
"So ... I think we should get our bags ready." Sebastian speaks again, standing up from the couch and running his hands on himself to fix his clothes on what appears to be a gesture of nerves. "Before I change my mind again and I refuse to show in a public place like a beach with a prude like you."
Kurt lifts both eyebrows, but he is even pleasantly surprised not to find the usual grin on his face; it's simply a playful smirk. Not to mention when he finds himself in front of Sebastian's hand sticking out towards him, arm outstretched, and a slight nod of the head to tell him to take it.
He hesitates a little, not at all used at this – whatever it is - then reaches out and grabs it, taking advantage of Sebastian to pull himself up. It's a sudden movement and they find themselves face to face again.
This time they remain silent, only staring at each other, eyes and lips, lips and eyes, until Kurt decides that he is really tired of not understanding: he isn't interested in the family secret, and he only just wants to understand a little more about Kurt&Sebastian and what is happening, he keep on living in a situation like this: one day Sebastian hates him, another day he brushes his hips, the next day he wants to kiss him and maybe he's going to insult him again tomorrow. He has no idea what is going on within Sebastian's body, but he wants to help make things clear (okay, maybe he just wants to help himself to reach these lips).
His hands reach out – one leaving Sebastian's - and he grabs his face, as he leans on the tips of his toe in an attempt to reach out and take him by surprise.
Unfortunately for him, Sebastian is sober enough to push with his hands on Kurt's hips, in order to get him back to its normal height.
"Kurt," he murmurs his name, as if to warn him that he is talking seriously, "don't do it. You might be really disappointed, really. "
Kurt feels instantly confusion and excitement merge inside his head: Sebastian is telling him it is for Kurt that they aren't kissing, so does it mean that he wants to kiss him? And why on earth should he be disappointed? Of course, Sebastian is the person he is, but it means nothing, it's only a kiss and Kurt has decided now that he wants to.
"You can change, and-"
"No." Sebastian interrupts him instantly, letting go of his hips and quickly taking a step back. "I can't. I'm serious, we shouldn't do this, for many reasons, and believe me, you'd be disappointed. "
He doesn't add further explanation and simply gives him a serious look, before showing him his shoulders and walking away.
Kurt curses himself instantly because of the stupid trying to speed things up not only ruin a moment when Sebastian wasn't insulting, indeed he seemed to intent on anything, but Kurt had probably altered the course of their day to spend at seaside because, of course, Sebastian is going to build a new wall between them again after what had just happened.
Idiot, He tells himself mentally, hitting his head with a slap. Now he had to stand an entire drive and a full day on the beach with Sebastian at his side that is probably going to be silent, when he could have experienced something very, very different and all this happened only because he can't wait.
You'd be disappointed.
His mind is going to be filled with these words for hours, as he hasn't yet quite clear what it means exactly.
He'll find out soon, anyway.
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