It had been nearing the three hour mark since Joker and Shepard had come up into her cabin. Silence ensued for a majority of it until Joker let lose. She could FEEL the anger radiating off of him as he sat on the leather couch. She remained still on her bed, sitting cross legged, patiently waiting for the pilot to say something. ANYTHING.

Finally, his voice came out choked with emotion. Emotion Jane had only ever head once from him. And that was when he had come up behind her while she was talking to the Illusive Man. He had grabbed her into the tightest hug he could imagine and simply held her. He spoke of how thankful he was that she was alive and how guilt ridden he felt that she had died. He made love to her that night so beautifully that she almost thought she was actually dead.

"Why? Just...I want to know why you thought you couldn't tell me that you were pregnant. After all we've been through, you couldn't have come and told me that? Do you not remember what I asked you two nights ago? Or does your mind change as often as your sexual partners?"

Ouch.

She visibly wince before ducking her head down in shame. She heard Joker's sharp exhale and still did not lift her head.

"Don't do that shit. It's disturbing. I should be the one with my head down." A thud made her look up and Jane had seen that Joker had tossed his cap onto the coffee table, his hands running through his hair in frustration.

"I've loved you since the day you told me to get the fuck off the ship or you're dying with me. I fell in love with the way you recklessly throw yourself into harms way to help the greater good. You DIED saving me. Shitty, isn't it? Not knowing you love someone until they're dead." He laughed softly while shaking his head. Finally, his green eyes sought hers and he gave a shake of his head.

"Jane, you aren't sixteen anymore. You aren't alone. You have people that depend on you and you have people to depend on. What hurts most of all throughout all of this is that you felt like you couldn't come and talk to me about this. We're adults. Well, I am. And the fact that you did this behind my back..I feel betrayed. I feel like I mean nothing to you. I feel like I did back at Flight Academy. Just..left out. It's not a fun fucking feeling coming from you, Jane. My Fiance."

She shut her eyes tightly before opening them and glancing at Joker. His head was resting on the back of her couch, his eyes staring up at the ceiling.

She made a horrible mistake.

Slowly, very slowly, Jane moved off of the bed and towards Jeff. Once she got close, she settled down next to him, placing her hands on his own. He didn't pull away, so Jane took that as a sign to continue.

"I've never had the opportunity to grow up with a real family. All my life I've been alone. The Reds were all I knew growing up. I didn't understand love and affection. I didn't understand the need to talk about feelings and to trust someone. I didn't believe in it. But then, I joined the Alliance and the Military became my family. My subordinates became what I never had."

Squeezing his hand, she continued.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't believe it. My first thought was that I'm not ready. I must have gone back and forth on whether or not to keep the baby. But Jeff, abortion was NOT the first thing on my mind. The first that was, I hope they have your heart."

Jeff scoffed before tilting his head towards Jane. Disbelief was all over his face. Jane wouldn't let him speak.

"Instead...life gave me a child who would never live. I did not and would never selfishly kill OUR child. This baby..never would have lived. I don't...I don't know if it's my fault but he just..wasn't forming.." She stuttered before ultimately clamping her mouth shut and closing her eyes. But she needed to finish. She exhaled shakily before opening her eyes and looking into Jeff's.

"There was no heartbeat because there was no heart. It was a mess of limbs inside me and Doctor Chakwas knew, without a doubt, that this baby was already gone. Jeff, I didn't tell you because..it seemed unfair to you. I wanted so badly to give you a chance at happiness by giving you a healthy baby. But then..this happened and the last thing I wanted to do was to give you more bad news in this world of horror. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for doing this to you. For not giving you a say. It was selfish and I feel...I feel like I don't deserve you."

"Shut up Jane. You sound stupid."

"Wha-?" She couldn't believe what he just said. Shut up? Really?

"You've spent the majority of your career making other people happy. Not once have I heard you talk about YOUR happiness. Yeah, I'm still mad. I'll stay mad. I'm a guy. But I'll be fine. I just can't believe you thought you would be okay keeping all of this to yourself. I'm supposed to be your..boyfriend or whatever. It's an unwritten law that girls should always go to their boyfriends for problems. It's in the handbook, somewhere." Sitting up more properly, Jeff reached up to caress Jane's cheek softly. She leaned into the touch before moving closer to rest her head on his shoulder. His hand went to the back of her head where he gently ran his fingers through the red tresses.

"I feel like a dick for blowing up on you."

"And feel like a bitch for keeping my pregnancy a secret."

"Yeah..let's not do that again."

One more chapter? Or should I end this?

Loves!