Beth sped towards the grocery store, fixating, although she knew it was unnecessarily, at the time on her dashboard's clock – 4:46 PM. School let out at 2:30, and she, along with all of the other teachers and student teachers, were expected to stay until 3:15, although she usually left between 3:30 and 3:45, when there seemed to be a mass migration of almost everyone leaving the school buildings. She'd ended up staying late today though, as the teacher she was assigned to, Mrs. Gonzalez, had asked her to stay to sit in on a departmental meeting about curriculum planning. She'd assured Beth that these types of meetings were important, and that it would be a good opportunity for her to be a part of one before she was actually a full-fledged teacher and had to participate in them regularly. Beth was anxious to learn more about the process of choosing and altering curriculum, although she knew that the meeting would throw her off of her normal schedule.
In the weeks that she and Daryl had been back in Hilton Head, she'd settled into a very comfortable routine for herself. Having a strict routine had never been important to her in the past, but she found great comfort in it now. One of her counselors had also placed great emphasis on setting a steady routine, suggesting that it would only help her in the long term. And, because today was Monday, her normal routine dictated that she would head to the grocery store after school, spending a good amount of time doing all she and Daryl's shopping for the week. Because she'd started cooking the majority of their meals at home, that meant that grocery shopping was more time consuming, but also more important. Generally, they ate dinner at home every night except Friday, which had become their designated end-of-the-week date night. And Daryl had started a new trend of making them breakfast for dinner on Sunday nights, leaving Beth with five other nights of meals to prepare. Daryl always offered to help her, which she thought was sweet, but she always shouldered most of the responsibility on herself, feeling a little like a freeloader at times, since they lived solely off of Daryl's earnings. She often struggled with wanting to make sure she was "pulling her weight" and contributing to the household, although Daryl always laughed when she mentioned it, telling her she was going overboard and didn't need to.
Beth had started planning out their meals ahead of time, insisting that it made the most sense – and Daryl hadn't ever argued with that. She also always bought a Sunday newspaper so that she could clip the coupons. She would sit at their kitchen table every Sunday afternoon with all of her coupons, which she'd organized into a small book, the Publix weekly ad circular, and a notepad, as well as a few favorite cookbooks. She spent a lot of time deciding what to cook for dinner each night, often letting her coupons and the items on sale that week dictate to her what she'd be making, and the other things that she'd add to her list as well. She'd learned that Daryl was very low maintenance, and that he generally didn't care about expensive brands or trendy foods. She packed his lunch every day and he always seemed very content to have the same things – two basic sandwiches, either ham or turkey, and cheese, a bag of chips, and a little something sweet, maybe cookies or sometimes even fruit. He also never minded if she bought things for him that were on sale – whatever brand, within reason, of deodorant or body wash or shampoo was on sale, that was just fine with him. The one thing that he was insistent on, though, was his beer – he'd been adamant with her that he only drank Budweiser. And so, even if it wasn't on sale, she always bought him that – it was a small price to pay, especially considering it was the one thing he'd been so specific about.
Beth felt a little bit frazzled by how much later she was in getting to the store today. She generally liked to be home by 5 o'clock, or a few minutes after. Daryl usually got home around 6, although sometimes he did call her to say he was working a bit later, but she liked to get home and take a shower and get everything out and ready to start dinner preparations before he came home. Today, though, she wasn't sure that she'd even make it home before he did, and for some reason, that escalated her heart rate a great deal. In the back of her mind she knew she was placing too much emphasis on the time, and fixating on a schedule that was really just arbitrary, but she couldn't shake the feeling of nervousness and frustration that she had as she quickly turned into Publix, found a parking spot, and practically ran into the store. As she started down the first aisle with her shopping cart, examining her list, she got a bit more anxious as she scanned the list, remembering now that it was a bit longer this week. It seemed that they'd started to run low on a lot of things all at the same time, and she dreaded having to buy all of them at once, although she knew she'd have to. All of this would mean more time at the store, more money spent, and many more groceries to carry into the house when she got home.
Beth was lost in her mind, half focused on the task at hand, and half worrying about the time and about getting home to get dinner started, when she turned a corner sharply, her buggy colliding with another.
"I am so sor…" Beth started to apologize, as she frantically looked up for her list, which had been the reason for her lack of attention to the person who's buggy she'd just rammed into. However, as her eyes jerked up to meet them, she saw a familiar, yet not particularly friendly face.
"Well… Hi, there. Beth, is it?" Andrea said, a rude expression registering with the weak smile on her face.
"Oh… Yes… Hi… I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I'm running late and have a long list this week and I'm just really trying to get home to start on dinner…" Beth said, realizing all of a sudden that she was inappropriately blabbering, and that this woman in front of her probably couldn't care less what was going on. She hadn't thought much about Andrea since that time they'd met, but now that she was face to face with her, and in the light of day, she couldn't help but notice how truly beautiful she really was, even if she was a good bit older than herself.
"Daryl's got you playing the role of the little woman for him, then, huh?" Andrea said, a smirk spreading across her face that Beth didn't quite understand the meaning of.
"What?" Beth asked. She didn't understand what Andrea was implying, or why she even cared about her and Daryl's relationship in the first place. Hadn't she been the one to cheat on Daryl and drive him away?
"He always did seem to be the traditional type. I guess he found himself a little housewife after all…" Andrea said.
Beth was a bit taken aback by that comment. She wasn't sure how to respond and she also didn't feel like any of this was any of Andrea's business. She tried to think of something to say, wracking her brain for a good response, but Andrea didn't give her a chance.
"All that home cooking must be doing him good, though… He's looking good lately" Andrea said, all of a sudden moving past Beth and into the aisle that Beth had just come out of. "Good luck to ya, honey…" she said as she'd passed by Beth, looking back at her one more time and giving her a somewhat sympathetic look.
Beth didn't say anything in response, and she was frozen to that spot for some time, although how long, she wasn't quite sure. She knew she shouldn't have been threatened by Andrea, knew that Daryl seemed happy with her now, and always said that he was. But Andrea was so beautiful, so sophisticated looking and mature, that it was hard for Beth to not feel a little bit insecure in comparison. She reminded herself to breath, counting backwards from 25, and focusing on something else, just as she'd learned to do during her time in Florida while in the treatment center. She finally put one foot in front of the other, pushing her cart forward, reminding herself that she was already running behind and that she needed to get herself together and get the rest of her shopping done before she lost any more time. She knew Andrea was trying to intimidate her, or make her feel inadequate by her snide comments, but she tried to remind herself that it was coming from a place of jealousy – Andrea had obviously realized what she'd lost in Daryl, and hated seeming him with someone else.
Beth rolled all of this through her mind as she continued through the store, marking off the remaining items on her list and going toward the checkout, her cart overflowing with stuff. After she'd hurriedly loaded it all into her car, she got in and headed towards home, hoping she could at least make it to the house before Daryl got home. She heard her phone ding twice, signaling text messages and she looked over at her phone, which was resting in the passenger seat, to see that the messages were from Daryl. He'd lectured her incessantly about not texting while driving, so she deliberately waited to actually read the messages, knowing she was only a couple of minutes away from their house. As soon as she pulled into the driveway and put the car in park though, she grabbed her phone, reading the messages.
Monday 5:56 PM
I gotta work late tonight. A lot going on. I won't be home for
regular dinner time… go ahead without me. Be home late. Sorry.
Monday 5:56 PM
Love you babe.
Beth wasn't sure why, but she started to cry. After her frantic afternoon and her awkward run in with Andrea at the grocery store, all she'd been focusing on was seeing Daryl at home. She was yearning for him, needing to feel his arms wrapped around her, reminding her that everything was okay and that he loved her. There were often days like this where Beth would experience some type of anxiety during the day and by the end of the day, she'd be counting the seconds until Daryl walked in the door. And she particularly felt like that today; now, though, she didn't even know when he'd be home and she couldn't hold her emotions together any longer. She sat in the car for a long time, telling herself she needed to get out, that she needed to unload the groceries and busy herself with putting them away instead of fixating on her emotions. But she just couldn't get herself together.
For some reason, she started to begin to replay her encounter with Andrea in her mind. Something about Andrea just rubbed Beth the wrong way, and it wasn't necessarily her knowledge of what had happened between her and Daryl. It struck Beth how arrogant Andrea had seemed, even a bit smug, but Beth couldn't understand what reason Andrea would have to be that way towards her. Then she remembered the last thing Andrea had said to her before walking away.
"All that home cooking must be doing him good, though… He's looking good lately."
Beth hadn't really registered that last part when Andrea said it, she was too caught up in her own mind about their run in and how awkward and uncomfortable it all was. But, now, she realized how strange it was. How did Andrea know how Daryl looked? When and why had she even seen him since that night, all those weeks ago, that they saw her at the bar? Daryl definitely hadn't mentioned seeing her to Beth and she couldn't imagine that he wouldn't tell her. Unless, that is, Beth reasoned, that he'd somehow run into her because of work and he'd been afraid to tell Beth because of his fears that it would upset her. She knew she hadn't been particularly stable emotionally, and could imagine Daryl wanting to keep her happy – and knowing he'd seen Andrea would have definitely upset her. But thinking that Daryl wouldn't tell her about it, especially after he'd seemed so adamant about staying as far away from her as possible, just seemed odd. And it made her stomach turn thinking about it.
She finally got herself together enough to get out of the car and unload the groceries, although she left many of them sitting on the kitchen table, only putting the things that needed to go into the refrigerator away. She was beating herself up, telling herself that she was being ridiculous and that she had no reason to have such a strong emotional reaction to what Andrea said to her. She trusted Daryl, didn't she? She was pondering over that when she noticed an unopened bottle of red wine sitting on the counter and, without really thinking about it, moved to the drawer where they kept the corkscrew and started opening the bottle. She knew she wasn't supposed to drink while on her current medicine, but she couldn't help but feel like she needed it – it would calm her down, she reasoned. She would just have one glass, she told herself, although she took the entire bottle and a glass into the bathroom with her as she ran a bath and undressed. This was just what she needed, she told herself – she just needed a nice relaxing bubble bath and a glass of wine to calm her down.
Beth slipped into the water, lying herself back with her head resting on the back of the large garden tub. She finished the first glass of wine, and felt a good bit calmer. She reasoned that she could have another, which she very generously poured for herself. As she drank it her mind swirled with thoughts of Daryl, whether or not he was keeping something from her about Andrea, and why he'd been working late so often lately, when he'd never done that before. She kept hanging on those words he'd texted her, though.
Love you babe.
She hoped with everything that she had that he really did. And those were the last thoughts she had before she faded into the darkness.