Wednesday: Break My Heart
Finn would never have predicted, in all his life, that there would ever be a day when he couldn't take his eyes off Kurt. But here it was. He'd been worried since Monday. He hadn't said anything but he'd noticed how hard Puck's words had hit his...well, his brother. Kurt was basically his brother. Every other day they were at the Hummel house. On the other days they all had dinner at the Hudsons. He had no problems with telling people that their parents were dating and that made them brothers.
No one had given him crap about that in a long while.
Which had admittedly freed him up to pay a bit more attention to what was going on with this brother of his. He knew things that no one else knew. Like the bruises Kurt hid from the world. Underneath his layers. As though the layers would be enough cushion to stop new ones from blooming every time he was thrown across the hall into a locker. His skin lost those battles.
Thing was, Finn just didn't know what to do. They'd always just taken the bullying. All of them. They helped each other wash the slushies off and they walked to class together but they dealt with it themselves.
But there was something new this week. And it was Puck's fault.
There had been a Dalton boy in their school yesterday. Worse, the Dalton boy had been a Warbler blackmailing Kurt into coming back. At least that was Kurt's worries and Finn was inclined to believe the worst of all the other teams out there. So far they hadn't met a single nice one.
Now he didn't want to put Kurt down or keep him from finding a boyfriend. That definitely wasn't his intentions. He just wanted to keep Kurt and that Warbler from being the next Rachel and Jesse. The egging video had made it to YouTube and the show choir blogosphere. It was rather likely they'd seen it and Kurt was their most vulnerable teammate right now. Sure they could have gone after any of the girls but...well he kind of thought Puck was right about it being an all gay school. It was all boys after all. Finn wasn't stupid, he knew that there were all boys schools all over the country and those boys weren't all gay. Sam had been to one. But if Kurt was their chosen 'in,' then Puck probably had a good point.
And that wasn't even the worst part. Come Tuesday night, Kurt seemed to be falling for it. He'd been texting all day. Well, at least all the time when Finn was able to watch him. They didn't have all their classes together. Just English actually. And lunch. It was lunch that had him peering over Kurt's shoulder.
"Who's Blaine?" Finn expected the jump. What he didn't expect was the cringe. The way Kurt curled defensively on himself before he shoved his phone away and straightened himself back out and crossed his leg in that fancy European style of his as though it had never happened.
"He's no one, Finn."
"Is he that kid that was in here yesterday?"
"...He's no one."
"Kurt, talk to me. Are they still blackmailing you? Because we can fight that."
"What? No!"
"Kurt please I just want to help." His friend bristled. Kurt always managed to double his size, it seemed, when he was angry. Despite Finn being a giant it always made him nervous when Kurt got like this. He was pretty sure the smaller teen could take him, whether Kurt knew it or not. He had a strength, deep inside. Finn had seen it at football practices - a strength no one had expected. And he remembered Kurt cheering at those basketball games. He could hold up girls by himself when he wanted to.
"Really? Maybe you could help by telling Karofsky to leave me alone." The small teen hopped up and started to stomp away. Finn didn't let up.
"You know he won't listen to me, he's a...an idiot. A big stupid idiot."
"That's redundant."
"What?"
"Nevermind."
"The point is, I can't do anything about Karofsky. But this is something I can help with. If the Warblers are blackmailing you-"
"They aren't! It might surprise you, Finn, but they actually want to be my friends."
"Oh, friends huh?"
"Yes, friends. The blackmail thing was a misunderstanding. Blaine was trying to make a joke. He's kind of awkward like that sometimes."
"Sometimes? How much have you two been talking?"
"It doesn't matter. Finn, he's a great guy, and he gets me, ok? He just wants to be my friend." That stopped the giant in his tracks. 'He gets me.'
"You like him." Kurt spun back on his heels.
"What?! No. I just met him!"
"Didn't stop you from zoning in on Sam when you first met him."
"I was trying to figure out if he was gay or just dying his hair for other reasons. I deserve a chance to have everything the rest of you have, don't you think?"
"Yeah but you don't have a right to be a creep about it. You have a real problem with that. Just going after people like...like..."
"The way you went after Rachel? The way Artie went after Tina? Talk to them, maybe hit on them a little, try to get a feel for things, see if there is a shot. Even if there isn't being so hopelessly infatuated with them that you can't help but still bother them just because they're so attractive it nags at you and actually kind of hurts that they'll never be with you? That you're going to be completely alone while everyone around you gets to have that special someone that gets them."
"Its...Kurt, its different with guys."
"Gee, I'm sorry I happen to have a hard time not acting like a boy." Kurt glanced down for effect. "Oh wait, I am a boy. I can't act like a girl, that's not who I am. I'm just like you. I just happen to like men."
"Kurt this is going to get you in serious, serious trouble. You can't keep doing this, especially not here." He knew his words would hurt but someone had to say them. Kurt was going to hit on the wrong guy one of these days and get killed for it. Finn had seen it in a movie or something. The last thing he wanted was for a guy who was like a brother to die just because he was a bit flirtatious. Not to mention the trouble it caused for the New Directions. But mostly that dead thing. "First, what if Blaine isn't even-"
"He is."
"Are you sure?"
"He told me."
"Ok, fine. So he is. But what if he's just trying to use you to tear us down?"
"He's not like that!"
"Rachel thought Jesse-"
"Blaine is not Jesse, Finn, and besides we're not going to date! I just met him two days ago! Yes there's the possibility in the future, sure. But I don't want to just run around with anyone I could. I want it to really matter." His voice dropped to a hissing whisper. "Why do you think I liked you?" Things got way too personal way too quick but Kurt didn't relent. "You were the only guy in this school who treated me with any kind of decency. And last year, that was good enough for me. To play with the idea that someone might, I don't know, not push me when they walked past. That was what I considered myself worth then. Now I'm not saying you aren't still a catch but my standards have changed a bit since then and I respect myself a hell of a lot more and who knows if Blaine will be able to meet them. I won't just settle for someone just because he's got a gorgeous voice and looks like a dream. I need to know that he's actually going to be someone who will love me and accept me for all of who I am."
If people weren't staring so much Finn might have kept things going. But the entire hallway was casually peeking around their open lockers, or up from their cell phones, just to try and catch a glimpse of this. He could see some of the other football players laughing and pointing at them. No doubt he'd hear no end to the 'lovers quarrel?' jokes at practice today. Even with Puck, Artie, Mike, and Sam to back him up. Especially Sam. That kid wasn't the least bit scared of calling people out on their homophobia. It was kind of awesome.
"I just...Kurt I don't want you to get hurt, ok? I do care about you you know. Like a brother."
"...Finn, I know, but you have to trust me. I'm not an idiot. I'm not going to let them hurt me."
"Ok. Ok. I will. I do." He held his fist up and Kurt actually bumped him back. "So the guys were thinking we could meet up at your place and work on our performance after school."
"Actually I was thinking you guys could put it together and then come get me."
"Kurt, you're-"
"Just going to clash with everyone, pitch ideas and you're going to hate them all, and then I'm going to get upset and you're going to be upset and lets just skip it, ok? You guys plan things out then tell me what I'm doing."
"I'm really sorry about that, but...please don't skip today."
"Finn, it's fine. I'm over it. That's not the problem. I already made other plans. That actually include me and my ideas."
"What's that supposed to mean."
"I'm hanging out with some friends after school. I know Carole is cooking tonight so you guys don't need me for that. I just want to have some fun for once. So I'm going out tonight."
"Which friends are we talking about here. Kurt, are you hanging out with them?" His hand gestured vaguely in the direction of Kurt's phone. It had taken him less than two days to worm his way into being besties with an entire group of enemies.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to be a traitor. And besides, it's a fair opportunity to keep spying. They're our competition for sectionals and they are real competition. They invited me so anything I bring back to you guys is fair game."
"I don't like this."
"You don't have to like it. Just be happy for me Finn. I'm finally enjoying myself for the first time all year. I'm happy. Please don't take that away from me." That was where the conversation ended. Well, that was where Kurt ended it by spinning on his designer shoe heels and marching away before Finn could find the words to say. It didn't matter. He could have had a month to speak and he still wouldn't have been able to find the right words.
"So where is this cutie boyfriend of yours anyway?" Wes's girlfriend teased as she jabbed her finger into Blaine's ribs.
"He's not my boyfriend," Blaine sighed back as he reached over her to give Wes a shove. Since they both knew that this was all his fault. "He probably just got lost." While it was a very logical explanation, Blaine's history had him checking his phone again to see if there had been any texts. Still nothing. It had been complete radio silence for about three hours now. He was about ready to drive over to McKinley himself, with or without a license, and comb the place to make sure his new friend wasn't curled up in a corner battered and broken. "And I would really, really appreciate it if no one called him that today. Can you even imagine walking into a place and everyone just pushing you into the arms of some stranger?"
"I happen to know that you'd enjoy that," David laughed. "Hopeless Romantic Blaine Anderson, believes in love at first sight and you couldn't take your eyes off him all day Monday. Which means that you are in l-o-v-e love."
"I am not!"
"Mmhm," they all crooned. Blaine gave the nearest Warbler a shove.
"Seriously guys, lay off it, please. We've already been over this. Even if I wanted to, and I don't right now-"
"Right now."
"UGH! Even if I wanted to, Kurt...he needs something more than a fling."
"So don't be a fling," David's girlfriend told him. She sounded so wise saying it too. Like it was the most obvious thing and he'd just completely missed it.
"Well, I'm not sure if I'm ready to commit to someone like that. What if I'm not what he really needs?"
"Blaine, it's not like you're asking him to marry you. He's just a boyfriend."
"Hey, lay off him," Wes's girl chastised. "I think it's really sweet. Like a good romance. Like...Like uhm...When Harry met Sally. Not like those stupid romances where they see each other then get married three days later. They were actually friends first or well actually they hated each other at first and then they were friends and when they got together at the end it meant something." She paused a moment to bite on her lip. "Actually I think I'm jealous of your future boyfriend now."
"What! Standing under your window singing your favorite song with a bouquet of your favorite flowers isn't romantic enough for you?" Wes groaned.
"It was beautiful but ugh this whole Klaine thing is-oh hey I just gave you guys a celebrity couple name!"
"Hey hey hey! Shh!" David hissed. "There he is."
There he was indeed. Beautiful as he had been the last two days. By this point, Kurt was definitely proving that he wasn't just a figment of Blaine's imagination. Blaine started to let all his fears slip away until he noticed that something was different. His eyes weren't bright. Actually he was barely looking up at all. "You are so lucky you aren't a Warbler, New Kid," Wes laughed. "We don't like it when people are late to practice without giving us a reason."
"Well I happen to have a reason," Kurt informed them as he settled down in the last open seat. "I had to go home and change and when I got there Finn was apparently making cheese soup with a side of pasta so I had to make sure he had something to eat. That took a bit."
"Who's Finn?" That had him pausing a beat. Finn. It was so unexpected.
"He, uhm...it's a long, complicated story." So very unexpected.
"Oh," David whistled out. Wes's girlfriend rubbed Blaine's back as his shoulders sank down. He knew he shouldn't be feeling disappointed like this. It wasn't right. He had just been saying he couldn't date Kurt because he was pretty sure he couldn't commit to someone like Kurt needed but there he was, dreaming of that kind of commitment and falling apart as soon as it was pulled away from him. He really was hopeless.
"So you're ok?" Blaine asked his friend quietly.
"I'm fine," Kurt said quickly. Very quickly. He looked into Blaine's eyes for the briefest of moments. "So uhm, how does this work?"
"We ordered the food already," Wes explained. "Big appetizer type share things. Uhmmm...we didn't get you a drink because we didn't know what you wanted…"
"Coffee."
"Coffee?"
"Mmhmm. I don't even care if its good or mixed up the right way right now. I just need coffee."
"Long day huh?"
"You could say that."
If they tossed a blazer over Kurt's shoulders no one would ever have been able to tell that he wasn't one of them. He really did just fit right in. The way he'd just joined in and bantered with them was just so seamless.
"Blaine gets coffee like, every day at the Lima Bean," David said.
"I do not!" Blaine retorted.
"Lima Bean?" Kurt replied. "Me and my girls go there a couple of times a week and...I'm pretty sure I've never seen you in there. I'd recognize the blazers."
"Because I don't go there every day."
"Yes you do," Wes sighed. "Before school."
"Not every day!"
"Yes, every single day. Trust me. We've been keeping track. You haven't missed a day since...since you had the flu last spring." The short teen shifted in his seat for a moment before hopping up to go find someone to get the singing started. They were the only people in there at this early hour - the place didn't really start getting packed until six or seven typically, which was great for the Warblers because most of them headed home about then to get their homework done. Instead he stumbled on their waitress.
"Is everything ok?" she said, her eyes trailing over his shoulders. With a calm, cool smile he nodded and pointed back to the table.
"My, uh, my new friend needs some coffee. And uhm, some stuff to mix in it. Chocolate and creamer options I guess. I don't know what exactly he wanted."
"Do you want us to make him a mocha?"
"...Actually that sounds really good. Sure. Lets try it. I'll pay anyway. Let him try whatever he wants and just give me the bill." Her eyes tore away from his shoulders as she looked over to the table.
"He's the one not wearing the blazer?"
"Right."
"He's cute." She knew the Warblers well. She served them every single time they came in. "Is he going to be coming in more often?"
"You know...I actually really hope so." Blaine didn't miss the sigh that pressed out of her. He was as well versed with her crush as she was with the Warblers drink orders. As sweet as it was, he was glad, in this case, that she thought he and Kurt were together. Hopefully it'd be a gentle way to help her move on to someone she could actually have.
"Then I'll make sure to remember which one's his favorite for you."
"Thank you. Now, uhm, where's Pete? I'd like to get the music started."
"I'll let him know."
When he came back he found that the chairs had shifted. Now the only seat available was the one right beside Kurt. He hesitated. Especially when Kurt looked into his eyes again. Kurt was always looking at his eyes. Or at least at him. He'd noticed. He couldn't let himself jump to conclusions though. Honestly he was feeling the same way. Kurt was the only other out gay teenager he'd met. It was so interesting seeing him and talking to him and just...being out together with him. As friends. That was overwhelming in and of itself.
The McKinley kid scooted his chair away from the empty one and let his eyes drop to the table.
"Oh, no, I wasn't, I mean," Blaine stammered as he took his seat. "I was just trying to remember if I'd forgotten anything." He tried to turn to his fellow Warblers for assistance but they were running off for the Karaoke station already. "Kurt I-"
"It's ok," the boy was quick to tell him.
"I really was just-"
"It's ok, ok?" Their waitress spun by and set down his coffee. "What's this?"
"Mocha?" Kurt lifted the cup up and blew across the top.
"It smells good."
On stage, the senior Warblers started their number. Blaine's heart clenched on their words. His eyes snapped up to see if they had done this for their girls or for some other reasons. "I remember what you wore on the first day you came into my life, and I thought, hey, you know, this could be something."
"This is a good song."
"Yeah?"
"Mmhm. It'd be better if Finn and Rachel hadn't been singing it all summer. But I like it. It's a really nice duet. I'd sing it with someone. Though I'd have to be Taylor Swift, of course."
"If that's what you want." Given the sound of Kurt's normal speaking voice he was sure Kurt could do the female role justice. Maybe even better than David and Wes were handling it. They both had deeper voices. It was nice, of course, but just maybe he and Kurt could do it better.
"I remember every look upon your face-"
"The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste." Wes's girlfriend clasped her hands over her cheeks to hide the blush.
"You make it hard for breathing.
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's ok.
I'm finally now believing."
Blaine caught a smile, small and sweet, as Kurt stirred at his coffee. He looked like he could get up and dance. He'd need a partner, of course, for a song like this.
"Kurt?"
"Hm?"
"Uhm...do you uh...uhm, I know you said you're the only out kid at your school, but...are there others?" He set his spoon down and clasped his hands together over his knee. Then he took in a very deep breath before he finally answered.
"A few."
"Is...that jock you were talking to yesterday-"
"What?" Kurt's eyes snapped up.
"The tall guy. Kind of, well, uhm, dopey?"
"Finn? No. Definitely no. He is very, very, very straight." The slightly dejected sigh that followed hurt a bit, but at least now he knew Finn wasn't Kurt's special someone. That was what he got for jumping to conclusions.
"But there are others?"
"Mmhm."
"Are you. Uhm. Is...do you have a boyfriend?" That question garnered an even longer pause.
"No." Their eyes met for just a moment before Blaine turned away. "The other people I know are girls. They're both dating boys right now. And I don't know if they're actually lesbians or if they just sleep together for fun."
"If there was another guy at your school, would you date him?"
"...well with my luck the only guy that would ever get interested in me would be the most disgusting man alive." His comment was followed by a very hard eye roll that almost had Blaine grabbing for his hand.
"I'm sure that's not true."
"I'm only attracted to straight guys and only awful men are attracted to me. Its just a fact of life."
"Shhhh!" the girls hissed.
"And I'm thinking, ooo, I can't live without you
'Cause baby, two is better than one.
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
But I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two is better than one.
Two is better than one."
"That was beautiful," Wes's girlfriend crooned as she leaned in as though she was going to kiss him. But she didn't. She hopped up and sashayed herself over to the dj and leaned in to whisper a song to him. He nodded and turned to his computer to cue it up.
"What are you singing?" Wes asked her when she came back.
"Oh, just a little number by the greatest singer of all time. One Miss Whitney Houston. Who's in?" Wes and David shook their heads and laughed. On instinct, Blaine waved them off. This was a 'girl's number.' He wasn't opposed to singing with them or singing girl songs (actually he quite loved doing both of those) but usually when the girls asked they didn't actually want any of the boys to join in. They didn't want deep voices messing up their harmony.
"I will," Kurt spoke up beside him. He was practically jumping out of his seat at the invitation. It was probably the most excited Blaine had seen him since, well, the Teenage Dream performance.
"Oooooo, New Kid has some balls." Before Blaine knew what was happening Kurt had been grabbed from both sides by the girlfriends and yanked up onto the stage.
On second thought, he was more excited than he'd been Monday. As he stumbled up beside them and got sandwiched between the two girls, the three of them broke out into giggles. Kurt was clearly the kind of man that girls loved to hang out with. That was something Blaine knew the rest of the Warblers who were struggling to find dates would appreciate. The longer Kurt hung out with them, the more reasons Blaine found to insist he belonged among their kind.
The girls wrapped their arms around Kurt in a hug, which he returned briefly before crossing his arms protectively over himself. Still, despite that he never lost that glowing smile.
"Slight problem!" the dj called. "I can't find a good file. You'd think they'd have it, it's so popular-"
"How are you with acapella?" David's girlfriend asked.
"I don't do it often but it can't be that hard," Kurt said, glancing over to the trio of boys at the table.
"Was that a jab?" Wes asked him.
"Oh, no, me? Make jabs at you? My competition for sectionals this year? Never." There it was. That smile, those gleaming eyes. Kurt fitting in perfectly, again.
It was like he'd always belonged in Blaine's life. Like he'd always been there. Like he'd always be there. Blaine tried hard not to feed that notion. They were from very different worlds. Someday he'd go to Harvard or whatever other school Dalton boys got fast tracked to and Kurt would...well he could probably go to Harvard too, Blaine didn't know anything about that part of his life. For all he knew Kurt dreamed of being a future president. But somehow Kurt seemed more NYC bound. He was a big city kid stuck in a small town.
"Come on competition, let's hear what you've got," David laughed. So the trio started their song. Acapella.
"There's a boy I know," Wes's girlfriend started, pointing out to her main man. "He's the one I dream of. Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above, mm mm."
Two girls and a male soprano. Blaine knew he shouldn't have been surprised. But he was. The oos coming out of Kurt were some of the most beautiful sounds he'd ever heard. He wanted more. He wanted Kurt to sing.
"Oh I lose control, can't seem to get enough, uh huh,
When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love.
Whooo."
If Blaine closed his eyes he could almost imagine it.
David's girlfriend leaned in. The girls were stunning, of course. Their school didn't believe in competing so they just showcased their talents all over everywhere else they could. Both of them wanted to go on to do something with music.
"How will I know?
(Don't trust your feelings.)
How will I know?
How will I know?
(Love can be deceiving.)
How will I know?"
Wes and David were completely silent, completely still. Blaine wasn't even sure if they were breathing. Actually, he realized he didn't care. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward to hear Kurt better. The McKinley boy was watching him again.
"How will I know if he really loves me?
I say a prayer with every heartbeat.
I fall in love whenever we meet.
I'm asking you what you know about these things.
How will I know if he's thinking of me?
I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak).
Falling in love is so bitter sweet.
This love is strong, why do I feel weak?"
"Oh, wake me," Wes's girlfriend crooned.
"I'm shaking," David's girlfriend echoed.
"Wish I had you near me now," they all sang together. Then a marvelous thing happened. Blaine's dream came true. The girls left it to Kurt to take the lead while they filled in with the echos and back-up harmony. It sent shivers straight up Blaine's spine. When he dared to break their locked gaze he saw his friends were mesmerized too. Kurt could sing.
"Said there's no mistaking, what I feel is really love,.
Ooo tell me (Oh tell me),
How will I know?
(Don't trust your feelings.)
How will I know?
How will I know?
(Love can be deceiving.)
How will I know?
How will I know if he really loves me?
I say a prayer with every heartbeat.
I fall in love whenever we meet.
I'm asking you,
'Cause you know about these things.
How will I know if he's thinking of me?
I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak).
Falling in love is so bitter sweet.
This love is strong, why do I feel weak?"
His cheeks turned red as he leaned back and gave the girls a nudge forward. Blaine felt his own cheeks turning red when Kurt's eyes pulled away from him and trained themselves on his very fashionable shoes. They'd just had that moment. Just like Teenage Dream. It was unmistakable. There was...well there was just movement deep inside Blaine's soul. He could commit to a guy that could sing like that.
But he couldn't. This was not the time or place. Kurt needed a rock, not a sappy hopeless boyfriend.
"If he loves me, if he loves me not.
If he loves me ooo, if he loves me not.
If he loves me, if he loves me not.
How will I know?
How will I know?
How will I know?
Hey how will I know?
How will I know?
How will I know-"
"If he really loves me?" they left Kurt to sing back to them by himself. Blaine's eyes snapped up just in time to see the public school boy looking frantically between them. They just wrapped their arms around his shoulders and kept going. He couldn't escape their hug. Instead he shrunk down. It was all he could do. And it was the cutest thing Blaine had seen him do yet.
"I say a prayer with every heartbeat.
I fall in love whenever we meet.
I'm asking you 'cause you know about these things.
How will I know-"
"If he's thinking of me?" They did it again.
"I try to phone but I'm too shy-"
"Can't speak," Kurt echoed. It was like the girls were doing it on purpose. For reasons other than musical sound. But it did sound beautiful. So maybe not. Blaine hoped he was just reading too much into it.
"Falling in love is-"
"So bitter sweet-"
"This love is strong-"
"Why do I feel weak?"
At least he wasn't having any trouble keeping up with their surprise twists and turns. Blaine kept waiting for the time when they left him to sing and he missed the cue. It never happened. The dapper teen couldn't help but think how perfect Kurt would be during one of their impromptu improved performances. He wouldn't even need practice. He'd just fit right in. Just like he was doing now. Fitting perfectly into Blaine's life right where Blaine needed him.
"How will I know?
How will I know?
How will I know?
How will I know, ooo?
How will I know, how will I know, hey how will I know, how will I know?"
The shortest Warbler took in a sharp breath when they finished. How perfect was this kid anyway? Even as Kurt was acting shy his voice was as strong as ever. So unafraid. Blaine didn't stir until Wes and David stood up to applaud. The girls half-curtsied before running to their men.
Blaine was much slower to stand. He straightened himself up and yes, there was a part of him that wanted Kurt to pounce on him like the girls had pounced on his friends. Kurt didn't of course. He bowed, nice and low, then stepped off the stage with all the grace and charm of a man who owned all the Earth around him. Whatever was going on at McKinley wasn't making him afraid of himself. Just as Blaine was going to speak - compliment Kurt, tell him how great that was, anything - the senior Warblers broke away from their kisses and got in his way.
"Ok, if you ever do transfer to Dalton, you don't even have to audition, you're in."
"Wait can we do that without Thad's permission?"
"Uhm, oh! I know. This place has video recording. Lets get that and show him. If anyone complains, eh we're just checking out the competition."
"You know its funny that's exactly what I told Finn when he asked why I was hanging out with the Warblers," Kurt laughed. Blaine skirted around the group. He couldn't even get close. It was like they'd met a celebrity.
"Oh-ho-ho then it really is only fair that we show everyone just what you can do."
"But really, name the price. How can we recruit you?"
"Thank you, really, thank you," Kurt sighed. "But I am not for sale. I like McKinley. It's home. I want to stay there if I can."
"We'll give you Blaine as your personal tour guide! Since he's the one who brought you to us in the first place." The two pushed him forward. Both teens bashfully stepped away from each other.
"As much as I love backwards handholding, I'll have to pass."
"Fine, fine, alright."
"We need to do something to break the tension now," Wes decided. "Blaine, its your turn. You're the only one who hasn't had a song yet."
"Ah, uhm, I really don't have an idea what I'd even sing," Blaine fumbled. "Are there any Katy Perry songs I haven't done yet..."
"I think there's one or two you haven't hit at least ten times yet, if that counts. But you know that those songs are in high demand."
"Wait, an all boys school wants their boy rockstar choir to sing...Katy Perry pop songs all the time?" Kurt mused in such a smooth voice that Blaine felt his own cheeks turning red. Bright Eyes was finding this all too funny. He was so focused on Kurt that he didn't notice David over at the station picking out his song.
"Alright Blaine, by the power of the vote we have decided which song you'll sing," he declared as he rejoined the group.
"Woah wait hey!" There wasn't much room for protesting.
"If you don't we won't let you sing any Katy Perry at sectionals."
"We're doing Katy at sectionals?"
"We might if you sing this song."
That sold him. No matter what the song was, he was going to do it for the chance to croon out something - hopefully Teenage Dream just so he could find Kurt in the audience and point at him again - to steal the hearts of everyone judging him. And that didn't just mean the judges. He ran up to the stage and grabbed the microphone.
Then the music started.
"Are you serious?" he groaned.
"Sing it Blaine! All of it."
"Did it have to-There you see her," he transitioned. His part came up too soon for him to finish his sentence. "Sitting there across the way. She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her."
The two girls pulled their boyfriends up to dance with them. Blaine tried to look through the moving bodies, though, to catch Kurt's eye. This song wasn't one he wanted to have a 'moment' with Kurt over but he did want to see that twinkle. He wanted it to help him get through this embarrassment.
"And you don't know why,
But you're dying to try,
You wanna kiss the girl."
Kurt was playing with his coffee and pushing around the food that had arrived while he was singing. He most definitely was not looking up. Blaine couldn't blame him on this one. Granted Teenage Dream was about sex, but it never said the word. How Will I Know was all about, and very vocal about, love, but there was no physical action. Besides, two friends could love each other. As friends. Blaine loved the Warblers. That didn't mean he wanted to kiss most of them. Just some of them. Sometimes. But he was doing a good job of getting over all of that and he was pretty sure none of them knew he'd ever harbored such thoughts.
Except the gay senior that hadn't been out of the closet. But he was gone off to San Francisco now. Probably dating every man he met. It really made Blaine feel gross inside that he didn't even get a shot. He would have made a great boyfriend. Even if their relationship would have just been a fling. Actually the fling would have been a good thing. Quick and painless, just for fun.
Someone like Kurt could never be a fling.
Wes and his girlfriend spun between them and obscured the boy who wasn't looking up.
"Yes, you want her-
Look at her, you know you do.
Its possible she wants you too.
There is one way to ask her.
It don't take a word, not a single word.
Go on and kiss the girl."
"Ok, boys, you all have to sing too." Wes and David jumped up beside him. He tried to get Kurt to come up too but the non-Warbler just shook his head and averted his eyes again. He wouldn't even let the girls get him up to dance.
"Sha-la-la-la-la-la-my oh my,
Look like the boy too shy,
Ain't gonna kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-ain't it sad?
Ain't it a shame, too bad,
He's gonna miss the girl."
The trio couldn't help themselves. They started dancing in the same formations that they always did. Together, in unison - the way the Warblers did everything. Even the girls joined in with a giggle. But not Kurt.
"Now's your moment
Floating in the blue lagoon.
Boy, you better do it soon,
No time will be better.
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl.
The center-stage Warbler let himself get caught up in the song. He spun and danced with his friends around him. Safe and sound and happy.
"Sha-la-la-la-la-la don't be scared you've got the mood prepared. Go on and-Where's Kurt." The seat was empty. He darted down to the table, the song completely forgotten. His friends scattered around him.
"Maybe he just went to the bathroom," one of the girls said.
"He's so in love he can't bear being separated for a second," Wes teased, jabbing his finger into Blaine's ribs.
"His jacket's gone!" Blaine declared, peering into the empty coffee cup. "He left. He left!" He couldn't have been gone long. No matter how the others would act or what they'd say tomorrow, Blaine hurried out the door. When Kurt had come in, he'd been upset. He hid it well but...he'd been upset.
Ok so maybe Blaine was overreacting. But he'd rather overreact than under react. He didn't want Kurt to end up like he did. Well, worse than he did since he was pretty sure Kurt couldn't afford Dalton.
He bolted out the door and looked around. When he didn't immediately spot the fashionista he pulled his phone out. "Oh come on!" he heard from behind a rather large car.
"Kurt? Are you ok? You just kind of hurried out of there-" When he rounded to the driver's side, he saw something horrifying. Tears. Lots of them. Kurt's face was completely scrunched up, lips pulled back, brows pushed together. Fist balled up against his window. "Kurt what happened." He hurried over but he didn't touch. He wasn't sure if Kurt was a hugger or if he would be ok with a sort of stranger hugging him. Besides, Kurt had pushed away everyone else when they tried to touch him.
So he did the only thing he could think of to do. He held out his hand.
The bright eyed public school new kid boy didn't accept it right away. He just looked at it and leaned against what Blaine could only assume was his car. Kurt didn't strike him as the stealing type. The longer the hand remained offered, the closer Kurt leaned. Until he took it. And held it tight, wrapped up tight like a child holding on for dear life. Like this was all he had. Blaine stepped closer. "He kissed me."
"What?"
"He. That guy. The. The one I. He."
Judging by the reaction, this kiss wasn't a good thing. The cycle of moods hadn't really raised too many flags earlier but seeing Kurt like this now made him suspicious as to just how bad this kiss was. Maybe all those emotions had just been his way of processing it. "It's ok. It's ok. Take your time."
"You know how...how when boys pick on girls, in elementary school, the adults always say 'well maybe he likes you.' As though that makes what he did excusable."
"...Kurt." Blaine couldn't help it. His hand curled tighter. He didn't like where this was going. "Who kissed you?"
"The neanderthal."
"The...the kid that's been...the bully? The one who's making your life hell? That neanderthal?" The beautiful boy in front of him nodded his head. His bottom lip puffed out as he tried to reign in his tears. His top lip almost disappeared as his mouth pulled itself back. Anything to hold in the sobs.
"That neanderthal."
"Do you want to sit down?"
"Yes." He held his keys up. His hands were shaking. Now Blaine understood why he was swearing. So he took the keys. He unlocked the door. He even held it open so Kurt could clamber in.
"Give me just a second. Don't go anywhere." The command was to ensure that Kurt didn't drive off. He didn't look like he would but Blaine didn't want to take the chance.
As he hurried around the car, he checked his phone.
Is everything ok? - Wes
Blaine are you ok? - David
Do we need to come out there? - David
Blaine seriously, just tell us that you're safe. - Wes
I'm fine. Kurt just needs some time. I'm going to stay with him. Don't wait for me.
He tried to open the door. It was locked. When he glanced up he thought he caught Kurt smiling a little as he unlocked the door. It took Blaine less than a few seconds to hop himself up inside the car. The re-locking did catch him off guard though. Definitely a clear message. Just one person was allowed inside. And that person was Blaine. He silently vowed to never violate that trust.
"Want to talk about it?"
"No. Yes. I...I want it to have not happened. I want to go back and...and not know."
"Not know what?"
"Blaine! He's like us. The guy who's been making my life impossible. The guy who...who's bullied me for as long as I can remember. Always there, always pushing me shoving me calling me names. He pushed me down the stairs last year. I mean not all of them but some. He broke my Lady Gaga costume-"
"Your- no wait nevermind that's not important right now."
"I'll show you later. I worked really hard on it, I made it from scratch. I'm pretty proud of it."
"You...wow."
"I make a lot of my own clothes. Well, I get pieces from the store, put them together, make them my own."
"I knew I hadn't seen anything like this in the stores." Blaine reached over and tugged on the sleeves.
"What does a boy who only wears uniforms know about stores?"
"I don't just wear uniforms!" Kurt reached over and grabbed back at his sleeve. "I don't. How about we meet at the mall on Saturday and I prove it to you?"
"Ohh, hmm. That sounds like a plan." He looked down at his steering wheel. After a few moments of silence his forehead dropped down. "I used to dream of what it'd be like, you know."
"What's that?"
"I used to...wonder what it was like, to not be the only one. At McKinley. To not be alone. For there to be someone I could, I don't know, maybe...maybe take to Breadstix like everyone else gets to take someone to Breadstix."
"Isn't that the pasta place downtown…"
"...You've never been to Breadstix? We have to fix that."
"Ok. So. Someone to take to Breadstix." The boys stared at each other as they both realized what they'd just done. If Kurt said it, Blaine would go with it. 'It' being anything about Breadstix being a date. He didn't.
"Right...I can't believe it's Karofsky. I just. Karofsky. He's my secret gay McKinley dream? It's so...I'd rather kiss all the girls in school than let him kiss me again. I feel like I need to go take twenty showers just to make sure every little bit of him is off of me. It's disgusting. Its like I can't get the smell out of my mind. The feeling! I want it gone. I want it all gone. And you know, the worst part? No, not the worst part. There's a lot of worst parts about this. But just this morning Finn and I were arguing about, well, how...how creepy it can be for guys to have someone hit on them. And...and he was right. I've been...so awful. I didn't mean to but...yeah it's really awful. When you don't want someone hitting on you. And they do."
There was a wave of nausea Blaine couldn't deny. "I...I'm sorry...I…"
"No, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rant-"
"No, that's fine. That's. Totally fine. I promised you I'd be here. I'm here. I'm here for you. Whatever you need."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. So...what happened after the kiss?"
"...He tried to kiss me again...He didn't. I'd never let him. Never. Blaine what do I do."
"Huh?"
"What do I do now? I can't just. I mean obviously I can't tell anyone. You don't count. Right? You won't tell?"
"I won't tell. I know how important closets can be."
"So, besides that...he just revealed a very deep secret to me. Very deep. I can guarantee that absolutely no one knows about this or even suspects it. And I don't know what to do."
"...Maybe I can talk to him?"
"You?"
"...Yeah. Tomorrow. I'll come at lunch like I did yesterday. And...we'll just figure things out as we go." After all, that was what he was doing with this...friendship. Friendship was all this would be. Since apparently Kurt didn't even see him as a romantic prospect. Since apparently he didn't want anyone to hit on him, at least not now. Blaine had been very right about how this wasn't a good time for them to date.
"Do you want to go get dinner?"
"Where at?"
"Breadstix." Or...maybe it was?
"Sure, if you want."
"I'm feeling like eating something bad right now. Don't judge me."
"Never." He offered the keys back to his new friend. When the car turned on, 'Two is Better than One' was on the radio.
"That's eerie."
"It could be worse. It could be playing Kiss the Girl."
"I've never heard a Disney song on the radio."
"It could happen."
"You're dreaming. Are your friends going to be ok with this?"
"Yeah, I told them not to wait. I'm hanging out with my new friend. They might get jealous but they can deal with it."
"Blaine, please don't think I'm weird, but can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"I have a reason."
"...Uhm. Ok?"
"Can I have a picture of you?"
"A picture?"
"Yeah. I uh. I do this thing. In my locker. Where I uhm. I...I just put up things that inspire me. Inside. Because if I put it on the outside people would destroy it. But on the inside it's all safe." There was a hidden message in there. Blaine could just feel it. "And I'd like to put a picture of you in there."
"I inspire you?"
"You do."
"I'm just a friend doing what I'd like my friends to do for me."
"I know."
"Ok, please don't think I'm weird but…"
"Yes?"
"I have a reason."
"Blaine!"
"Ok, ok!" He looked over to see Kurt smiling at him. He really hoped he'd have that smile in his life long-term. "I know I've only known you since Monday but...I think you really have the potential to be the best friend I've ever had." They fell into silence for a minute. Blaine felt his hands starting to get a bit sweaty. "I'm sorry I said it'd be weird."
"No, it's...I've never had a guy for a best friend before."
"Oh."
"So what do we do?"
"Uhm. Well. We. We get coffee. A lot."
"I like the sound of that."
"Yeah? Uhm. We also sing stupid songs whenever we feel like it."
"Sounds fun."
"We go to the mall on the weekends?"
"Ah, gotta be careful with that one. Rachel, Mercedes, and I almost always go shopping on the weekends."
"Oh the curses of having a best friend who has many, many girlfriends."
"Hey my best friend has dozens of boyfriends how do you think I feel about that." Blaine caught his eye again.
"Kurt Hummel I think this is the start of something beautiful."
"Blaine Anderson, I think you're right."