DISCLAIMER: I do not own FoR or any of its characters. I also do not own the songs that I'm going to use for they belong to Dido. This plot is a product of my imagination. Any similarities to other fan fictions are unintentional.
NO ANGELBy bishounen lovah
Part 2: Tokiya
The rays of sunlight poured from the window and fell on my face, slowly rousing me from my sleep. My brain started to function again and almost instantly I recalled what had happened the night before. My eyes shot open and my hands groped the area beside me.
Intense disappointment overwhelmed me when I realized that I was alone in bed. I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes again. I strained my ears, trying to hear if she might just be outside my bedroom but all I heard was the ongoing traffic outside and the annoying footsteps from the leaser upstairs. From the open window I could hear the neighbor's radio blasting.
"…And you've just heard 'Nobody Wants to be Lonely'…a great collaboration of famous artists Ricky Martin and Cristina Aguillera," a male deejay said as the song concluded. "My partner is currently out of the booth giving a piece of her demented mind to one of our brave listeners who strongly believes that she's a gloater. But don't let her scare you, folks…her bark is worse than her bite.
Since she's distracted right now, I'll grab this golden opportunity to introduce our second feature song from Dido's 'No Angel' album. This song might sound familiar to you guys especially to those who watch the hit sci-fi TV show 'Roswell'. Yup. Dido sang the opening song and it's called 'Here With Me'. Feast your ears with this…"
I didn't hear you leave; I wonder how am I still here,
I don't want to move a thing, it might change my memory.
I wasn't really listening for I was too caught up with my thoughts.
Fuuko, I thought as I turned on my side to gaze at the area where she laid just a few hours ago. The cushion and the pillow were still dented by her body. I could still smell the heady scent that was distinctly hers. I took the pillow, hugged it to my bare chest and buried my nose against it. Long strands of my unbound hair slid over my shoulder and the side of my head, further enclosing her fragrance.
Memories of what happened last night flooded my mind. There were too many but I could recall every single detail nevertheless.
Last night had been a mistake. A big one. Fuuko must surely be angry with him right now. However, I knew that if I searched my heart thoroughly, I would find out that I do not regret making love to her. Not a single bit.
Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide.
Around nine o' clock last night, she called me using her hand phone. She didn't talk any sense so I knew that she must be drunk. I quickly went to the local bar where we usually hang out and sure enough I found Fuuko downing what seemed like her fifth beer.
Apparently it was the third year anniversary of her breakup with Raiha. Just the mention of that man's name makes my blood boil. But of course I didn't let anyone, especially Fuuko, know that I hate that man's guts. He had hurt Fuuko badly and to me that was unforgivable.
Ever since UBS, Fuuko and me had steadily became good friends. Among the others, I found that I could only find solace with her. At first I found it ironic that I would find comfort from that she-monkey but then I realized it made sense after all. Yanagi-chan can only remind me of the sorrow of losing Mifuyu-neechan. Koganei and Ganko were too young while Recca and Domon were just plain irritating.
Only Fuuko had understood how to handle me and my moods. She always teased and bugged me but at the same time knew when to stop. She had been my anchor…my only connection to sanity. Without her, I would have drowned from intense sorrow and hatred.
She's my best friend.
And I love her dearly.
At first I thought it was just a friendly type of love or maybe brotherly even. But then it came to the point that I frequently missed her and her annoying antics, couldn't stand to let her out of my sight for more than ten minutes, and had dreams of her every night. It wasn't until my dreams turned lustful that I finally admitted to myself that I was totally madly in love with her.
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me.
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me.
I am angry with Raiha because of what he did to Fuuko, betraying her like that.
I am angry with Fuuko because after all these years, she's still pining over Raiha. She couldn't forget about that baka…is probably still in love with him.
Most of all, I am angry with myself because I couldn't tell Fuuko how much she meant to me. I am too much of a coward to tell her that I would rather die than lose her to Raiha.
I'm afraid to profess my love because I don't want to lose her. If I told her that I loved her it would surely put an end to our friendship. I knew that if I told her she would feel awkward about it since she didn't love me back and eventually she would start evading me.
No, I couldn't have that. I would rather I kept my love a secret than to lose her completely. I'm quite satisfied to be just her buddy…at least I try to be satisfied.
But for the first time in my life, my emotions got the better of me.
Looking around the room, my eyes fell on the neatly folded pile of clothes on the other side of the bed. I sat up, grabbed the cloth on top, threw my legs across the edge then slipped my boxers on. I noticed a couple of love bites on my chest and another one strategically hidden on my inner thigh. Flashes of memories started to fill my mind.
I don't want to call my friends; they might wake me from this dream.
And I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been.
Fuuko was too drunk last night to go home by herself. I could have taken her home but walking several blocs to her apartment, half assisting half carrying her was not my idea of a romantic midnight stroll. So I took her to my apartment since it was nearer. I had no malicious intentions when I decided that. I do not take advantage of weak women. And at that moment, Fuuko was too drunk to have any strength to even push a cat off her.
At least I thought she was.
The moment we entered my home she started to throw herself at me. I was too shocked to ward off her advances, not to mention too needy of her. As each kiss became more and more heated, I lost the sense of control that I prided myself with. It wasn't until when I tasted her salty tears that I jerked back to reality.
Fuuko must have thought that I was Raiha. She must have been relieving her past affairs with him.
A bitter taste suddenly developed in my mouth then. I may want her so much that it made my heart ache with unbearable pain but I did not want to take advantage of her bruised feelings especially when she was under the impression that I was her ex-lover. So I started to pry her arms off my neck but she had a death grip to it. It wasn't until she spoke up that I ceased my protests.
"Onegai. Don't leave me, Tokiya," she tearily whispered to my ear.
Tokiya.
For the very first time she spoke my given name. Not Mikagami. Nor Mi-chan.
Tokiya.
I had always wanted to hear my name pass her soft lips. And now that I did a sudden rush of inexplicable feeling surged my mind and body. Without giving myself to have second thoughts, I swept her off her feet and carried her to my bedroom where we made exquisite love.
Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want but I can't hide.
Even now my body is still reacting to the memory of my lips on her lips, my body on hers. Skin touching skin. My senses heightened by the feel of her long hair tickling my body. And her hands that touched areas that drove me almost to the brink of insanity.
It was a night that I will never forget.
And regret.
Even if Fuuko regrets what happened between us, I will cherish that moment forever.
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me.
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me.
But what if she decides to end our friendship because of what had happened?
I closed my eyes as I felt the fear clutch my heart. I could not bear the thought of losing her much less losing her in actuality.
But then I realized that it was that fear that kept me from being the free man that I could be. All these years I hid my emotions behind my indifferent mask. And even if Fuuko had managed to melt my icy heart I still hid what I felt for her for fear of losing her.
Now that our relationship had taken a leap forward, I should not let the fear of rejection threaten me. We know each other intimately, mentally, emotionally and now physically. It's time for me to take the chance and tell her how I really feel. It wouldn't matter anymore if she does not love me in return.
I will make her fall in love with me. So help me God I will.
She is the only woman for me and all be damned if I let her slip through my fingers again.
With my mind made up, I strode towards the bathroom to take a quick shower. I need to find her first before I lose all of my courage and chicken out.
Today is the day when I'll confess my undying love to Fuuko and I won't let it end until I do so.
I won't let the sun set until I have her in my arms again.
To be continued…