"Listen - it's Deadpool, right?" Abby put her hands on her hips.
"Yepp," he said. "But you can call me Wade."
"Wade," She said. "No crazed killer is after me, ok? You've been here four hours - loitering is frowned upon by my jackass boss."
"Why aren't you creeped out by my hero-clothes?"
She shrugged. "You see a lotta freaks round here. It's New York, right?"
"You are perfect."
"I've been told."
Her phone rang, and she answered. "Hello?"
"I have your cousin Mary-Jane. If you every want to see her again, you will give me a bajillion or so dollars and clean my house."
"A shiny new dime and a feather duster."
"That'll do."
"Anyway, hi, Peter. I'm fine, and you?"
Peter, Mary Janes husband, loved to prank call her. She learned to expect it.
"Listen, I wanted to call and tell you to not be alarmed by the guy following you."
"You know this clown?"
There was a crash, and the building started to shake. Abby screamed, dropping her phone as the ceiling collapsed. Someone grabbed her, pushing her to the ground - Wade was on top of her.
"Stay still!" He commanded.
She closed her eyes, feeling the building falling around them. There was a groan from Wade, and the debris stopped falling - there was barley anything left of the building. She looked at Wade and gasped - a long, jagged piece of wood was sticking through his chest.
"Oh my God," She said as he rolled off of her. "Oh shit, oh God, oh NO!"
"Don't worry about it," he groaned, reaching to pull it out.
She slapped his hand. "Don't pull it out! Thats how Steve Irwin died, you idiot!"
She reached for his mask, and he grabbed her hands. "No," he said sternly. "You just can't."
"Don't be dumb," she snapped, yanking his mask off.
Her eyes widened, and she sat back in shock. "Oh, your poor . . . " She trailed off, looking at his scared face and blue eyes. She suddenly jerked with pain as something hit her in the back, and her world went dark.
"I think I might have killed him. Will Tony be mad?" Wades voice.
"If he had to be neutrualized - I just don't understand. What does the Goblin want with Abby?" Peters voice.
"The who?" Abby groaned as she sat up, rubbing her head. She looked at Peter, then chuckled. "Why am I not surprised?"
He was in his Spider-Man outfit, minus the mask - Deadpool stood next to him, with mask but minus a large piece of wood in his chest.
"How long was I out?" Abby asked.
"Four, five hours," MJ said, coming from the kitchen. She handed Abby a cup of tea.
"The Goblin knocked you unconscious," Peter said. "Deadpool took care of him."
"Thanks," Abby told Deadpool. "What the hell happened to your face?"
Deadpool chuckled. "Lil' bit of everything, doll."
"Alright," Abby groaned. "So who wants to explain first?"
"We could if we knew what to explain," said someone coming in the door.
Abby choked on her tea. "Oh – oh my God!" She coughed. "You – You're – Oh my God."
He smiled. "Captain America, at your service."
"Hold on," Abby said, taking a picture with her cell phone. "I have to twitter this. Can I twitter this?"
Deadpool beamed. "She's so sarcastic and neurotic. It's so nice."
"Seriously, though," Abby said. "I was just attacked by the Green Goblin – probably because my loser cousin-in-law is freaking Spiderman – and I've been followed around by a guy in spandex before the . . . diner exploded . . ." She trailed off, and then groaned. "I am so fired!"
"We have to keep her somewhere safe," Captain America said. "I was thinking she could stay with one of the Avengers – maybe Jessica?"
"She could go with Wolverine to the X Mansion," Peter suggested.
Captain America shook his head. "No, that would be endangering the students."
"I'll take her in," Deadpool piped up.
"I feel like the kid at the orphanage nobody likes," Abby groaned.
"Deadpool could keep her safe," Peter pointed out.
Captain America nodded. "And nobody really knows where he lives anyway. To Wades, then."
Abby laid her head against MJ's shoulder. "Now I feel like the kid at the orphanage nobody likes, so they give her to the psychopath."
Deadpool just beamed. "We're gunna have fun, Red!"