Sun Seekers
KaneHide
Chapter 2
Most days find Nagachika Daiki working himself to the bone from dawn until dusk. He tires over papers, speaks in clipped and hurried words like he is constantly working with a deadline and time is not a necessity he can spare. His co-workers grow used to it, this lonely way he chooses to exist as he works and works and works the day, with only the barest pretense of civility and teamwork keeping them chained together.
He knows the consequences of living such a life, of keeping such distance. He hears the words that are whispered behind his back and pretends he doesn't hear, even if their voices seem to grow louder, more demanding.
Selfish, they call him. Selfish for wanting to protect the only one he has left in this world.
He tells himself he's not alone, that he's not wrong. In between the hours that blur by the day, he finds a way to spare a second, but it is never a break, but a necessity.
He calls his son up in perfectly timed intervals to assure his own heart that he is only doing what's best.
'You need to learn to give him some space Nagachika-san. You should know how teenagers are. He'll grow to resent you sooner or later.'
Except he doesn't. All he knows of teenagers are strangers he meets on his way to his school, when his job had allowed him to leave early in exchange for an aching back. All he knows of their ways are the same whispers he hears within his own office, but with words that are simpler, yet meaner.
'Damn, it's that old man again.'
'Doesn't his kid ever get embarrassed over him? I'd die if I had to be picked up like this at my age.'
'What a clingy guy. You'd think he'd know better.'
'Aah, he looks so cold too! Are you sure they're even related?'
Privately, he likes to think that they no longer affect him. He keeps his stance rigid against the school walls, even as the crowd parts between him and tries to keep away. He likes to think the same thing as they do, that he is cold and untouchable by the petty fears and insecurities of raising a caged bird that might soon grow to resent him.
He isn't.
"-llo? Hello? Yo, dad, you still there?"
"Hm?" Daiki blinks, regains himself, and cradles the phone closer to his ear, "Yeah, I am. Sorry. I was distracted."
"It's fine," Hide replies. Daiki hears the smile even if he can't see it, and he feels his fears being chased away, "You hungry? Is that why you keep spacing off on me? Please don't tell me you forgot to bring those again! You get like five times grumpier than normal when you're hungry."
"I do not," Daiki retorts. His face is flushed but his eyes are twinkling in mirth, "And that was one time. Take it easy on your dad, why don't you? You damn brat."
"I'll start going easy on you once you do the same for me, old man! I got bruises on my bruises because of you!"
"It's not your old man's fault that you've been slacking off though, is it?" Daiki drawls. He leans back in his chair and sips his coffee, an easy smile forming on his lips at the sound of Hide whining piteously through the phone. Some of his co-workers catch sight of him and look away, already aware of who he is talking to based solely on the way his forehead is free of its seemingly constant crease, "If you keep on making excuses to skip training and get any weaker, you're never going to get a chance to win Kirishima-san's heart. Not that you had that much of a chance anyway."
"Rude! I personally think I'm starting to make some real progress with Touka-chan. She only hit me once for the pick-up line I made yesterday!"
"Oh really?" Daiki asks with a grin. He's about to ask for said pick-up line until he glances at the clock and realizes something, "Hide. Why are you still on the phone? Isn't it about time for you to go to class?"
Silence. Daiki's ears pick up the soft sound of something tapping against wood before Hide answers him.
"Yeah, actually. That's what I wanted to ask you about." he mutters.
"What is it?"
"See... I noticed we were running low on some supplies and stuff so I went to go get some from the store real quick, and I was totally planning to go straight home so I could get ready for class in time, but then something kind of happened on the way back-"
"What happened?!" Daiki snaps. Maybe a little too loudly. He abruptly stands up and glides past the doors, muttering a soft 'excuse me' as his co-workers immediately step out from his way. He heads for the private bathroom his position offers him, locks it, and plops down on the toilet seat with a groan.
"- and I couldn't just leave him there so I took him home and now he's in my bed."
"What did you do with the hostile one?"
"Knocked him out and called for help."
"And then you took a strange and unconscious ghoul back to our house when you wouldn't even take your own friends there," Daiki deadpans.
"This is different!" Hide protests, "For one, he's already a ghoul, we've got nothing to hide, and two, he really doesn't seem like a bad person! I would feel like crap if I didn't do anything to help him after probably making him faint like that-"
"Why didn't you just take him to Yoshimura-san-"
"Because he's not ready."
"What do you mean 'he's not ready'?" Daiki asks exasperatedly, "Hide, what if he wakes up and attacks you? You said it yourself, he was starving. There's no telling what he'll do once he wakes up. The food we have there is only going to last us for one more month, and that's practically nothing to a starving ghoul!"
"I know. I took... precautions."
"Precautions?" Panic and anger starts to seep into his voice and his son immediately picks up on it.
"I'll be fine. It's fine. You can trust me," Hide soothes.
Daiki is silent for a minute.
"I'm coming home," He says lowly, and hangs up before Hide can say anything more.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Kaneki is drowning.
He is naked, his body swarmed by the thick, red liquid that falls from the sky and seeps into his mouth. It's refreshing, amazing, and absolutely divine, and he is horrified to realize that he is enjoying the taste of blood.
He wants to spit it out but his throat works against him and greedily gulps it down where he feels it settle in his belly. It fills up the hollowed cavern of his stomach until his ribs are drowned in the liquid and he can no longer see the unfamiliar organs that leer at him from his abdomen, flashing and throbbing like a beating heart against his bones until he hears nothing but its rhythm.
'please. i don't want this.'
Even as a ghoul, his tears taste hot and salty on his tongue.
'don't be rude, kaneki-kun.'
Slender hands start to rise up beside his head. Kaneki watches with wide, bloodshot eyes as they move to his face, caressing his cheeks, slipping their fingers through his lips to pluck at his tongue and brush against his teeth.
'i'm so hungry. aren't you?'
They stay there obediently, fingers warms and pliant on his tongue. Salty. Sweet. Tempting.
'eat.'
He bites down.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"HOLY SHIT!"
Kaneki shoots up at the sound with a gasp, his head pounding from being woken up so violently, and instantly meets panicked, brown eyes.
It's the ghoul from the alley.
'What is he doing here? Wait, no. What am I doing here? Where am I?!'
Kaneki licks his lips and feels something bitter catch on his tongue. He makes a face and swipes it away to find his finger stained with what is undoubtedly blood.
'What? Is this... mine?'
"Wow. Ok. Haha. That was stupid of me. Remind me never to do that again," The ghoul laughs nervously.
Kaneki looks up at him confusedly and finally spots the bleeding hand the ghoul is cradling to its chest.
'No... it's his? I bit him?!'
"I'm so sorry!" Kaneki chokes out. Guilt fills his eyes at the thought that he could have hurt this man, even if he is a ghoul. It's not as if he deserves it either, not after he clearly rescued and cared for him.
"It's fine," The ghoul chirps. He raises his hand to show it off, and Kaneki is amazed to see that it is already healed, "Totally my fault, bro! I shouldn't have stuck my fingers in there knowing how hungry you are but you started spazzing in your sleep and making choking noises so I got scared and thought you were actually choking on something." He laughs and wipes away the blood with a handkerchief he picks up out of nowhere.
"I'm pretty sure that's not what you're supposed to do if someone was actually choking in the first place," Kaneki replies. The ghoul chuckles and sheepishly scratches his cheek. He looks like a kicked puppy, pouting like that, and Kaneki is surprised when he finds it absolutely adorable.
"Sorry about that. Guess first-aid really isn't my strong point," He grins.
Kaneki smiles back, covers his mouth with a hand.
How strange, this feeling. Something curls in his chest and it feels like happiness. The air between them is warm and open, like a meeting of old friends.
It's what makes him speak.
"I'm sorry. I know you told me your name before, but I passed out right after, so my memory is somewhat hazy. Would you mind repeating it?" Kaneki asks shyly, fingers curling in the blanket.
The ghoul laughs freely, "It's fine! But speaking of which, you have to tell me yours too! I'm still calling you 'that cutie' in my mind, you know?" He winks and Kaneki sputters, "My name is Nagachika Hideyoshi, at your service! But most people call me Hide! What's yours?"
Still a little flushed, he answers, "K-Kaneki Ken. It's nice to meet you... Hide," The name rolls off his tongue smoothly and he likes the way it makes him smile.
"Well then, good morning Kaneki!" Hide greets. Kaneki is surprised he doesn't insist on calling him by his first name after so blatantly offering his own, but he is quietly pleased. Other than his mother, there is only one other person who calls him by his first name, and they are not particularly fond of him, "Actually, it's really night right now, but I thought it sounded better than saying 'good evening' so yeah. You've been out for a few hours."
"I'm sorry for troubling you," Kaneki replies.
"It's alright. I just want to know, what were you doing there? Don't you know those are hunting grounds for dangerous ghouls? We can't protect you if you wander off from the ones that are being watched over."
Watched? "I'm sorry. I wasn't aware of that. I just followed this scent, and then suddenly, I was..." he falters. It sounds so humiliating. What had he been thinking, just giving in to his instincts like that?
"Are you still hungry?" Hide asks seriously.
Kaneki pauses. Now that he thinks about it, he feels... better. There is still a little part of him that feels unsatisfied, hungry, but it isn't as bad as before. The haze in his mind and the feeling of phantom hands curling around his body has faded, leaving him weak but peaceful.
"No," he replies, "I... I feel alright. Thank you."
"No problem. Helping others is kind of in the job description," Hide winks and sticks his tongue out, "Bonus points if they're as attractive as you are."
"Do you flirt like this with everyone?" Kaneki blurts out, flushed.
Hide only winks at him again.
"Ok, but for real, let's talk about you Kaneki," Hide says, scooting off the bed to pull a chair over. He sits down and crosses his legs, aiming a questioning look at him, "'Scuse me for being a little blunt, but you were being kinda stupid back there, you know that? A starving ghoul is a dangerous ghoul, both to others and to themselves. You're lucky the ghoul you ran into already started eating. God knows how much worse he would've reacted if you dropped in while he was still hungry."
Oh.
...right.
Kaneki averts his eyes, "I'm not a ghoul," he mutters.
Hide raises an eyebrow, "Right. That too. You're a half-ghoul aren't you?"
A half-ghoul. Not fully human. Not even ghoul.
"Um, Kaneki?"
A raspy voice abruptly invades his head.
Fucking anomaly.
"Kaneki?"
Tears start to stream down his face and he chokes out a sob, hiding his face in his hands. How could he forget? How could he be careless enough to forget what he's turned into?
"I'm not a monster!" Kaneki suddenly shouts. Unbeknownst to him, his kakugan flares.
Laughter, mean and feminine fills his head.
'no, dear. you're a ghoul.'
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Hide remembers a point in time when he suffered from nightmares every other night.
His father would find him, sobbing, terrified, wrapped entirely in his covers, and takes him into his arms like he did that night. He'd cling to him, crying 'I'm not a monster!' at invisible soldiers.
He cries out at cold eyes in the midst of a blazing fire until the words are burned into his throat.
Kaneki, crying and desperate, reminds him of himself.
Hide uncrosses his legs.
"Kaneki," He bites his lip.
Back in the alley, when Kaneki had crawled away from him in fear, Hide had felt the alien sting of rejection grip his heart. It was an unpleasant feeling he despised more than anything. It was the reason why he pushed himself to be as bright and cheerful as he appeared to be, to lessen the chances of anyone rejecting him.
But there was rejection in Kaneki's eyes back then, sheer and absolute horror swirling among them just by looking at him. For the first time in years, Hide had felt all of his insecurities begin to swarm him.
'Why are you looking at me like that? Aren't we the same? I'm not a monster. I didn't kill him. Why are you so afraid of me?'
He was close to panicking until his intuition kicked in and he realized all he had to do was turn off his kakugan.
Hide won't admit it, but he was relieved when Kaneki had fainted after his introduction. It made it easier for him to rein in his own emotions and calmly decide what to do with him.
He isn't given the same chance now, but he thinks he knows what to do.
He hugs him.
"Kaneki," he whispers, voice warm, "It's alright. You're alright. You're not a monster, ok? You're not."
Kaneki stiffens in his arms and Hide fears he might have messed up. But then he shudders and melts into his arms, and Kaneki cries like a child in his embrace.
He shushes him, humming lullabies under his breath until Kaneki's sobs are reduced to sniffles and he falls into an uneasy sleep.
"And to think things were going so well," Hide murmurs.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Hide is sitting at the couch, texting one of his classmates to lend him notes for the classes he missed earlier when his father comes barrelling through the door.
"Where is he?" Daiki snaps.
"Good evening to you too, dad," Hide drawls. Daiki's eyes immediately fall to his hand, clean and bandaged, and he marches over to him.
"What happened to this?" he demands. His eyes are fierce but his hold is gentle as he studies Hide's hand.
"Remember the precautions I was talking about? Well, I may have messed it up a little bit at the end." Hide chirps. He patiently lets his father continue inspecting his hand even as his grip tightens at the admission.
"What did you do, Hide?" Daiki says exasperatedly. Hide hums, and Daiki's gaze follows his to the innocuous red pouch lying on the coffee table and the syringes surrounding it.
"Damage control!"
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Reply to Anonymous Reviews:
Guest: Thank you! I've always wanted an AU like this too, so I finally decided to try and write it myself. Hopefully it turns out alright. :)
TheSwedishDragon: I love you too! Hahaha. XD Thank you so much for the comment. I hope you enjoyed!