Logan folded his paper in his lap. "'Ats a step t'ward honesty." He said, he was nicer this time. Kurt peeked up with one eye and looked at Logan's stony face. He wasn't smiling, but somehow Kurt knew he was on the inside. Maybe it was the past four days together, but Kurt was getting better at hearing Logan's silent words. Like right now he could feel Logan silently asking "Hey, whats going on? You can talk to me." in a calm voice... While his face said a firm "You think YOU'VE got problems?!"... but Logan was only looking at him, otherwise expressionless.
They stared at each other for a long moment, as Logan waited for Kurt's next words. "I just hate this..." Kurt whispered, looking back into his pillow to cover the tears that were welling up again. Logan waited patiently to see if Kurt wanted to continue that thought, but he didn't. "Bee'n sick?" He asked, looking almost surprised. Like sickness couldn't possibly make someone so sad. He was right. Sickness couldn't make someone this sad... but thinking for four days could.
Thinking about the mother that had abandoned him, the circus that had eventually cast him out, the church rafters he had been evicted from... Everyone else seemed to think that being at a new school for a couple of years would make his nightmare of a life suddenly evaporate like it had never happened. Like he would be born anew the moment he set foot on X-man property. It didn't work that way. He knew that, and Logan knew that. They hadn't mentioned it, but both of them knew what it was like to truly hurt.
"No." Kurt stated into his pillow. The pillow was starting to get wet around his eyes, Kurt hadn't even realized he was crying. "'Z'it 'bout that Pride girl?" Logan grunted, beginning to pick his paper up again. Kurt's eye's shot open and he lifted his face up just high enough to stare at Logan, trying to cover his purple cheeks with his hair. He hated being blue, whenever he blushed people thought he was sick or choking. "How do you know about zat?" Kurt asked, shocked. He hadn't told ANYONE about his crush on Kitty.
"Other than watching ya stare at her for the whole damn year? Or when you cried in yer room for two days when she hooked up with Lance?" Logan grumbled. He sounded irritable, but it meant a lot to Kurt that anyone had noticed. It was horribly embarrassing, but he was noticed. Logan gave him a wicked grin that left feeling slightly uneasy. "Not ta mention you should hide that diary a' yers better bub." With that Logan flicked his paper up again to cover his evil smile.
"You read mien diary!" Kurt shouted in his heavy German accent. It was actually only normal volume, but after days of overwhelming silence he felt like he had screamed it. Logan chuckled, "Under yer mattress isn't much of a hiddin' spot." Logan's voice sounded harsh, but was laughing with actual joy. Not mocking him, or making fun... he had probably just felt as bored as Kurt did. Kurt pulled his chin up firmly and sat up straight, distracted from his mourning. "And... and es not a diary. Ets a journal." Kurt said, attempting to retain some dignity.
Logan ignored this statement and instead responded with "Not much of a fan of the stuff.. But ya got some nice poetry in there, kid." Logan growled the compliment. Kurt was glad the paper was in front of Logan's face, because he was turning indigo. "Danke." He muttered, looking down to where the journal hid as though he could see it through the mattress. Logan read his journal? Kurt's face burned at the thought of someone seeing the innermost parts of his heart like that... and without him even knowing!
Logan folded the top portion of his newspaper down and locked eyes with Kurt in a soul piercing gaze. "Ya want a better hide'n spot?" Logan growled mischievously, giving Kurt a quick wink. Kurt swallowed and tried to ignore the pending fear of what Logan would do next. He was blue, and furry, and Logan had spent much more time staring at him today than he usually did. Kurt nodded slowly, his eyes wide, now feeling very self conscious. Logan rose out of his chair and stepped toward Kurt, turning momentarily to set down his coffee and newspaper.
In seconds he was at Kurt's bedside, standing on the side of the bed that had the journal under it. They hadn't been this close.. ever really. Most people stayed an arms length from Kurt, and EVERYONE stayed an arm and claws reach away from Logan. Kurt jumped in surprise, inhaling Logan's scent. Even though Logan had taken a shower that morning, Kurt felt like he was breathing in a century of war, blood, and forests... It was a scent that suddenly made Kurt hunger for adventure, to simply run headlong into the open arms of the world... It was the scent of fearlessness.
This was the first taste of fearlessness Kurt had ever known, and it made every strand of hair on his entire body stand on end. He breathed in again slowly and deeply, letting the scent linger in his lungs. it was better the second time. It was hard to breath quietly with his sinuses, and the fact that he could smell anything at all let him know how strong Logan's natural smell usually was. How much Kurt wished he could smell properly at that moment...
Logan leaned back with the journal in his hand, giving Kurt a soft smile. Logan's eyebrows raised when he saw how puffy Kurt's furry friend had become. Without really thinking about it Logan ruffled the kids hair, slightly surprised at its softness. The blue boy leaned into his hand like a friendly cat against someone who had just scratched their ear. In a second Logan realized that... this boy... no, that Kurt was completely starved for any kind of affection.