AN: This chapter picks the story line up after Rise, about 5-6 months after Kate's shooting.

Chapter 2- Fight or Flight

A couple of months had passed since Beckett returned to the precinct. Things had never quite returned to normal. She had taken on an even more serious tone. Castle tried to keep up his demeanor of jokes and laughter, but everyone could tell it was a show more than anything.

"It's been a rough day. Let's all head out to The Haunt for a couple drinks," Castle announced to the team as everyone began packing up for the night. They had managed to finally find their killer. It had been a tough case, stretching out for a couple of weeks, but after today's take-down, interrogation, confession, and booking, they were all spent.

"I'm in," Ryan replied.

"Let me call Lanie, I'm sure we'd both like that," replied Esposito as he walked off to make the call.

"I don't know guys, I'm pretty beat." No one was too surprised with Beckett's response. She had tried her hardest to avoid getting personal with anyone lately. Her sole focus was work, and a night out could lead her to let her guard down.

"Oh no, girlie! You will be coming with us," replied Lanie as she approached and wrapped her arm around Kate's shoulder.

"What timing, I was just trying to call you," Esposito said giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Oh, I saw the number pop up but was around the corner, so didn't bother answering."

Lanie and Esposito took off together, announcing that they would meet everyone there. Ryan had to make a quick stop first. That left Castle and Beckett, in an awkward silence.

"Come on, I'll flag a cab for us." He saw the look in her eye. "I won't bite, you know." She followed him out. Unsure of why she was doing this. She had spent the past few months intentionally keeping him at a distance. She wasn't trying to push him away completely, but she did want to make sure he didn't stay too close. She knew his feelings for her, but she couldn't reciprocate them yet. She didn't want to string him along, so instead she pulled away from him, from everyone really.

Nearly everyone was enjoying the time. They didn't all get out much in a social setting, so nights like this were a welcome reprieve. Lanie and Esposito were tearing up the new dance floor. Ryan and a couple of other guys from the 12th were over playing pool. Then there was Castle and Beckett. The silence between them had been awkward all night. It was almost a test of who was more stubborn, too bad that if either of them won this 'contest' they both ended up losing.

As Beckett finished her second drink, she knew she needed to call it a night. If she had more to drink then she might say things that she shouldn't. "I should be heading home now Castle."

"No, please, stay for a while, please." He knew that adding the second please might show his desperation, but with the few drinks he'd had, he didn't care as much. He had sat here enduring the silence off and on for the past two hours.

"Castle...I..." with the pause she grabbed her coat. "I can't." With that she turned and walked out, it was more like she flew out. She was running away. It was a 'fight or flight' moment and she just wasn't sure she had any fight left after the day they had.

From across the dance floor, Lanie and Esposito were watching. Lanie made a move to follow Kate. Esposito saw Castle follow and held Lanie back. "Wait, let him. He's the one she needs right now."

"I know." She laid her head back on his shoulder. They both let out a heavy sigh. The dance between Castle and Beckett had gone on for nearly 4 years now. They had kissed- true it was in the name of 'police business,' but a kiss was a kiss. They had fought and made up, more times than anyone could count. They had laughed and cried together. They had nearly died in each others' arms too many times.

The dance had taken on a different tune since Kate's shooting. They were both desperate for each other. If he pushed, she backed away. If he backed away, she lured him in. Each one of their close friends and family members had tried to open their eyes, but Kate (more so than Rick) fought against the inevitable tide.

By the time Castle caught up to her along the street, she was trying in vain to hail a cab. The rain had started pouring since they had been inside, and her frail attempt to shield the rain with her jacket was failing miserably.

"Kate, wait!" He yelled as he approached her. He gently grabbed her arm to turn her around. "Why are you running again?"

"I'm not running. I need to get home."

"You ARE running, and hiding. You have done everything in your power to avoid talking to me for the past few weeks."

"I HAVE talked to you," she shouted back, almost taken aback.

"Yeah, about cases. But that's it. You haven't once mentioned what has happened in the past few months. You haven't talked about the shooting or your mom's case. You're avoiding everyone."

"I have nothing to say about those things. They are.. they are in the past, ok? I'm over it."

"Over it? Ha! You are not over it. You have shoved it down somewhere deep within yourself. You've used it to reinforce the wall that you say you want to tear down. You are shutting me out Kate. What gives?" Tempers are flaring. The words each are throwing are stinging.

"'What gives?' What do you mean 'what gives?' I don't owe you anything, Castle! Did it ever occur to you that I don't have to share things with you?" She could say more. Throw in that they weren't realpartners, but she knew those words would cut too deep.

"Oh, so that's how you want to play things now?" By this point, their voices were in the midst of a shouting match. "You want to run, hide, pretend that no one cares? I care!" He paused, hoping that his words would cut through to her. "Damnit Kate, I CARE! That night...God I wished you could just remember!"

"Look Castle," her tone leveling out a bit. "Just...leave me alone! Why can't I have space?"

"I have given you space. I gave you three months of space. While you had your space I was in HELL. Third hand reports of how you were doing were all I had. That and the memory of you dying in my arms. Do you know what that did to me? I understand you have your walls. I understand that they protect you. What is it that I have to do to convince you that you don't have to protect yourself from me?"

She took a deep breath. Is this the time? Do I tell him now? The words came out as barely more than a whisper. "I do remember, Castle. I heard you, OK? I heard what you said." Her words weren't clicking with him. He blankly stares at her. "You told me that you love me. I heard you, I remember, but I couldn't...can't face it yet. I told you, I have to tear down these walls before I can be any good to you. I have to find out who killed my mother before I can be who you want me to be." As she stood there, rain pouring down, tears falling from her eyes, she allowed a brief moment in which she lost herself in his eyes. The moment was fleeting, but volumes of unspoken words were exchanged.

In a quieter, more tender tone, he pulled her into his embrace. "Kate, you heard me? You remember?"

"Yes, I do." It was barely a whisper. She had given up the fight.

"Why? Why did you lie to me?"

"Because I knew I couldn't say it back. I thought it would be easier to make you think that I hadn't heard than to tell you..."

"When I said I loved you that day, as you lay dying in my hands...I can't tell you what that did to me." A tear fell down his cheek. "I know you can't say it back, I know that." He held her as the rain washed the anger away. "But I also know that you feel it. You may want to deny it with everything in you, but you feel it, you're just afraid of getting hurt." He held her away from him so that he could look in her eyes. So that she could look into his. He gently shook her, wanting her to understand his next words. "I don't need you to be something different for me. This whole 'I can't be who you want me to be' is nonsense. I want you to be you. The you that I fell in love with over these years. You don't need to be anything else. I'm not going anywhere Kate. You are not in this alone."

She couldn't reply. They were lost in each others eyes. They stood there, in the rain holding each other as time ticked by. Finally, in silence Castle hailed a cab. He opened the door for Kate allowed her to get in and he climbed in beside her. He gave the address of her building. The cab left with two silent passengers in the back. There was a change though. While they remained silent, it was no longer an awkward silence. They had fought one last battle in the war. The walls were slowly crumbling.

When they arrived at Kate's place, Kate climbed out as Castle paid the driver. He ushered her to her apartment. They entered her place, still no words were exchanged. He settled her onto the couch, brought her a cup of tea, covered her with a blanket, and kissed her on the forehead. He turned to leave and heard the faintest sound.

"Stay." It was a single word, a plea really. He wasn't even sure at first whether he had dreamed it. "Please Castle, stay."

His response came in the form of a single word. "Forever." He walked back to the couch, took off his shoes and sat beside her. He lifted his right arm and rested it upon her shoulder. She snuggled into him, resting her head on his chest. Time passed- minutes, hours, neither were sure. She listened to the beating of his heart. He listened to the rhythm of her breaths. A content stillness took over the night and neither of them dared to break the magical spell that seemed to have been cast.

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