It only took about a week. After Carlisle had made the decision, we quickly strategized a smooth exit from Aberdeen with Jasper at the helm. Again, I didn't question, I just did what I was told, and I found myself flying across the country holding Alice's hand.
"Are you scared?" she asked.
"No. Apprehensive maybe. A little sad." She nodded understandingly. Jasper threw a wave of calm at me, and I thanked him with my eyes.
It was harder than I would have thought it would be, leaving Washington. In the grand scheme of things, I had spent very little time there, a little more than four years, yet I could feel myself missing it much more than I ever missed Phoenix. Perhaps because Phoenix came to me as a dim human memory and Washington was ingrained in my faultless recall.
I had said goodbye to Charlie, though he'd never know. Leaving him was the hardest part about the move, and about my vampirism in general. I understood the reasons why I could no longer be a part of his life, but my heart still ached for the father I was only beginning to know. When I went to bid my silent farewell, it was the first time I had seen him since my transition.
Oddly enough, Rosalie accompanied me on the trip to Forks. She said she understood my longing for what I left behind in my human life. We ran through the woods from Aberdeen and it was just about twilight when we reached the small two story house that had been my home. Charlie was just getting home from work. He parked the cruiser and headed inside, but he didn't whistle like he used to.
I watched from a distance through the windows as he hung up his gun belt and turned on the TV in the living room. Charlie couldn't stand awkward silences, even with himself. My chest tightened when he walked into the kitchen, poured a bowl of cold cereal and sat down in his recliner in front of Sports Center. Cereal for dinner? I wanted so badly to drop into the unused kitchen and put together a lasagna that would turn my stomach, but I wouldn't have cared because it was for him.
Charlie, poor Charlie. So broken from his inability to save me. I found it fascinating simply to watch him run through his normal routine. I would have stayed in those woods for weeks if I could have. When it was about one AM, while I was listening to the rhythmic hitch of his breath, Rosalie gently laid a hand on my shoulder and I knew my time was up.
"Can I say goodbye?" I whispered tightly to her.
She looked pensive, worried, and then nodded once.
I scaled the wall to his bedroom and ducked in the window.
Charlie was in bed asleep, one small worry line creased between his brows. I crossed the room slowly, sat on the bed and touched his hand. He grumbled and snored a bit. Bringing my lips to his ear and clutching his fingers, I used my most delicate voice.
"Charlie, I love you. I miss you every day and I will miss you for the rest of my life."
If I hadn't had perfect senses, I wouldn't have been sure I heard what I did. He mumbled low and garbled words that were almost incoherent. "Love you, Bells."
Tears that would never fall stung the back of my eyes. I couldn't leave. I had to make this work. He was my father, he was all I had, and I needed him.
Not true, a little voice in my head rang, you have a family. You have responsibilities. Leave the past behind you.
My Jiminy Cricket was right.
I ghosted my mouth across Charlie's cheek. "I love you, Charlie. Goodbye."
I almost made it out the window before the dry and painful sobs racked through my body.
***
Rosalie carried me back. I was crippled with sorrow and unable to make the run by myself. By the time we got home I had recovered and she never made any mention of my emotional breakdown. I never brought it up either.
My mind came back to the present and the plane ride to Chicago. This had become standard practice for my family but it was the first time I was making a real move with them. I was nervous and excited to see our new house and imagine what our lives would become, but I was most apprehensive about school.
We had a while to go, of course. It was early May when we left Aberdeen so we would wait out the summer before enrolling. I thought that was probably a good thing. I needed a break before I was able to try again.
But we had already decided to keep our current scholastic standings, except for me. Rosalie was burnt out on high school and ready for a break, so she and Emmett would be starting as seniors, to give them a little more time in the area without having to endure yet another secondary education. I decided to try my hand at junior year with Alice and Jasper, and I was almost excited about it. I'd been 17 for nearly four years and I'd still yet to graduate. I thought it would be nice if Chicago had that milestone for me, something to tie me to it.
Carlisle had accepted a job at County General Hospital and Esme was excited about refurbishing the mansion we'd purchased to live in. The district? Washington Square. Carlisle winked when he told me, and I knew he'd chosen it to help me feel at home. I smiled when I thought about it. Yes, I had lost one father. But I had also gained one that loved me just the same.
There was a town car waiting for us when we arrived at O'Hare. Carlisle had all our belongings, including out cars, shipped ahead of time so we wouldn't have to travel with any baggage. This brightened my mood a little, I couldn't wait to see my precious truck.
I never thought I'd be a trucker. But I had loved my old behemoth of a Chevy and was heartbroken that I had to let it die with my human image. Carlisle insisted, and I knew he was right, it just stood out too much. Glumly, I agreed with him.
About a week later, I came home from hunting with Esme and there it was in the driveway, a big red satin bow across the top. A 2007 Chevy Silverado, America's best truck, in a brilliant, gleaming platinum color. I had never been so happy in my life, it was a thing of great beauty. I must have thanked my family for several days straight. And it was waiting for me in Chi-town. I got antsy just thinking about it on the ride home.
Our home, of course, was breath taking. Old, like us (well, some of us anyway). And it was enormous; six bedrooms each with their own bath. It grated on me a little that I finally had my very own bathroom and I couldn't even pee in it. I guess you win some and you lose some.
The summer passed very quickly. I spent most of it learning Italian from Alice who would get screechy and frustrated when I didn't conjugate verbs. Conjugation is so stupid. Everyone knows what you mean, who cares if you use the wrong form? Personally, I couldn't be bothered with one word that bent six different ways, but it really grated on Alice and she was my teacher so I was trying.
The truth was, my whole family was a shit ton smarter than me. They had spent decades, centuries even, filling 24-hour days with knowledge. In comparison, I was kind of dumb. It was really unnerving for me, so that summer, when I was not (a direct) menace to society and I had a whole lot of time to kill, I decided to tackle it one obstacle at a time. My first official move had been to learn Italian. I picked it because it was rhythmic and romantic, and I wanted to be able to understand the words in Puccini's operas. By August, I was fluent. It was a drop in the bucket to the accomplishments of my family.
When September finally rolled around, I was really confident about my self control. I interacted on a daily basis with humans in the Windy City and I had been diligent about hunting once a week. I wasn't going to push myself to discomfort, I decided to work within my limits and try not to kill people. So far, so good. I never wanted a repeat of what almost happened that fateful day in the cafeteria.
I sort of glutted myself the night before school started. So much so that my eyes were light blonde, the lightest I've ever seen on any vampire. I wasn't sorry though, it was a precaution I was comfortable with, even though it was a little gross hearing the blood sloshing in my stomach when I walked. I silently thanked the vampire gods for preventing me from gaining weight after I pigged out. Being supernatural had so many benefits.
So that morning, a Thursday, we started over. It was my second first day of school as a vampire. For my brothers and sisters of course, the number was much higher.
Our school was enormous, but I still had a class with Alice and one with Jasper, and lunch with Emmett. The day passed fairly quickly and I found myself in the cafeteria with Emmett much sooner than I anticipated.
"How's it going?" Emmett asked with a grin as we sat at a small round table on the far side of the room.
"Good! Better than good. I totally don't even want to eat these people," I said, gesturing to a stringy-haired girl with pimples who was forcing a slice of pepperoni pizza into her brace-face.
Emmett grimaced and set to tearing up the food on his plate and I took the moment to listen to the conversations happening around us.
"…and they're all like, together, like dating. Even though they're brothers and sisters!" a curly haired girl was whispering fiercely to her table. Oh good, the Cullen scandal begins on day one. I was hoping we wouldn't have to wait long to be fodder for the masses.
I watched in my peripheral vision as the group of "popular" kids gawked at us.
"Don't let it bug you, kid. They don't understand us and they don't want to. It's better that way," Emmett said, pushing gloppy green Jell-O with some disgusting fruit suspended in it around his plate.
I listened anyway, I couldn't help it.
"…so pale."
"They're all so… beautiful."
"The blonde one is in my history class, she's a piece of ass."
From what I understood, this was pretty standard banter when people learned of our… unique family situation.
"They're dating?" For some reason that voice stood out to me. It was smooth and even, he enunciated perfectly. I looked over to see who it belonged to. A boy with bronze colored hair, sculpted into careful disarray, was gazing at us through piercing green eyes. He was, for all intents and purposes, the most beautiful human I'd ever seen.
"No," the curly haired gossip informed him, "the big one is with the blonde one. I think she's the odd man out," she snorted, jerking her chin towards me. "My mother is a nurse at the hospital where their father is the new head of cardiology. She's been telling me this stuff all summer."
A little piece of me wanted to tell her to mind her own fucking business and palm her nose up into her brain. I also wanted to tell her about Frizz-Ease serum and how it could work wonders for her damaged cuticle; I would have seen those split ends from my table even if I didn't have perfect vision. I stared daggers at her.
"Ahh, if looks could kill," Emmett said wistfully.
"Teeth can," I suggested and he laughed and clapped me on the back. "You'll get used to it."
We parted ways shortly after, he to trigonometry and me to biology. When I walked into the room, I picked an empty lab table near the back and sat in the chair closest to the window.
It was then that the beautiful boy walked in.
Sit by me, I willed him silently, if for no other reason than so I can stare at you for an hour a day.
I gave him my most non-threatening smile and tossed my hair over my shoulder. I do human girl SO well.
He acknowledged my (non discreet, semi embarrassing) flirting and headed over to my table.
When he was halfway there, I involuntarily dug my fingers into the wooden leg, leaving the imprint of my hand behind.
His scent, his blood. It was like nothing I'd ever smelled before. I needed it, there was no other choice. He was like honey and lilac and sunshine and I have never wanted anything on my lips more than what was in his veins.
And he sat right next to me, running a hand through that unbelievable hair.
I stopped breathing.
"Hello, I'm Edward Masen," he offered with a devastating smile that crinkled the corners of those vibrant green eyes.
Nice to meet you, Edward Masen.
You're magnificent. It's unfortunate that I have to kill you.
A summer's worth of Italian came racing back to me when I thought about how his blood sang to me, called out like symphony written specifically to torture me.
La mia cantante.
What's Italian for "I'm fucked?"