I sat up in my bed quickly. The dream was so vivid that it took a moment for me to realize that I was in my room and that I was safe. On the couch in my room, Jacob lay there peacefully asleep. I got up out of bed and went to the double doors and opened them. I felt the cool breeze on my face.

I felt someone come up from behind me and then caught Jacob's familiar scent. I smiled knowing that he would have awakened if he sensed that I was in any kind of disarray. I turned around to see him standing directly behind me. A confused look on his face as he looked at me.

"What is wrong?"

"I just had a bad dream. It is nothing huge. You can go and lay back down if you want."

"You don't want to talk about the dream?"

"It didn't make a lot of sense to me. It was like I was staring into nothing but mirrors around me. A thousand faces that were all mine. Then I started running."

"That does sound confusing," he smirked.

"You're very funny, Jake."

"I try to be."

I closed the double doors and went to go sit on my bed. Jacob followed me and sat down at the foot of the bed. The wave of confused feelings hit me again as I looked at my best friend. He could sense it and looked at me again with curiosity.

"Don't give me that look. I don't know what is wrong. I just have some things to work out in my head."

"Anything that I can help out with?"

"Not really. It is girl stuff. I'll talk to my mom about it later."

"Are you sure?"

"Jake, you're not a girl. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"No thank you."

He smiled again and patted my hand. I looked at him. I was so confused. I didn't know if it was okay to feel this way about him. I grew up with him. He is like family to us.

He went to go lay back down on the couch. I knew that there was no way to go back to sleep right away so I grabbed my robe and opened my bedroom door.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No. There is no need. Get some sleep Jake."

He grumbled something and then turned his back to the door and closed his eyes. I shut the door to my room and went downstairs to see if my mother was there. I found her reading a book in the living room. She looked up and smiled.

"Nessie, what are you doing up?"

"I needed to talk to you. I'm kind of confused about somethings."

Mom patted the spot next to her on the couch and I sat down next to her. She put her book in her lap and smiled.

"What is on your mind?"

"What exactly is our relationship with Jake?"

Mom frowned slightly.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I am having these feelings. I am not sure that it is okay to have them. I grew up with him as a member of this family but I want more. I want more with him."

"Where do you want me to start?"

"Just start at the beginning."

She sighed.

"When I was human, Jake was my best friend."

"So how did he become to stay with us?"

"Let me finish, Nessie. There is more to the story than that."

I tried to sit still. The suspense that mom was putting me through was awful.

"Your father and I started dating during my junior year in high school. There was a time that your father was gone. During that time, I spent more time with Jake. We became close."

I listened trying to imagine my mom trying to deal with my father being gone. They had said on countless times that they could not live without each other.

"Jake and I became so close that it was almost impossible to send him away after your father returned. It broke my heart to break his."

I then understood what she was saying.

"You fell in love with him?"

"In a way, yes, I did fall in love with Jake. He was my best friend but in a sense he was much more to me than that. "

"Did Dad know?"

"He knew. He didn't like it but he was never angry with me for it. He knew that by his leaving me would have consequences. At that time, the consequence was Jake."

"So it's probably not a good idea about the feelings I have for him to go any further?"

"Nessie, the day I was changed, all those feelings for Jake and the feelings he had for me died. We are truly as we should be."

"Why didn't anyone ever tell me about your past relationship with Jake?"

"It's complicated, Nessie. There is so much more to the story than what I can tell you."

"So what do I do?"

"Talk to Jake about how you feel. He will listen and answer all of your questions."

"Thank you for listening."

"Thanks for not getting grossed out," my mom said with laughter in her voice.

I got up and headed back to my room. There was no doubt in my mind that Jacob was upstairs pacing the room waiting for me to come back upstairs. When I entered, he stopped and looked at me.

"I told you to get some sleep."

"Occupational hazard, I guess."

"Can we talk now?"

He sat down again on the foot of my bed. I joined him. It was hard to have all of these feelings for him and keep them in check while trying to be serious with him.

"Jake, I need to know what is going on. I am confused by a lot of things and mom can only answer so many questions."

"I will answer as honestly as I can."

I nodded.

"Mom says that you two were in love. Is that true?"

"At one point in our lives, yes, we were in love with each other. It was more on my side than I believe it was on your mother's side."

"So what happened between us?"

"What do you mean?"

"I need to know why you are so connected to me."

He smiled, "Your mother didn't tell you?"

"No. She told me to ask you and you would tell me."

"There are many things that happen when one of our tribe becomes a wolf. Not only can we hear each other's thoughts, but we also imprint."

"What is imprinting?"

"It is where we find our soul mate. When we imprint we become whatever that person wants. Whether it be their sibling, their best friend, or later their lover."

"What does this have to do with us?"

"When you were born, I imprinted on you."

I sat there shocked. I didn't know what to say. Does that mean the feelings I have for him is because of this imprinting? Is my free will gone?

"Do I have any free will?"

"It's not like that Nessie. It's not like that at all."

"It sounds like it is."

"Nessie, maybe I didn't explain it right. Please, it's not like that."

"You know what? I am just going to pretend this conversation never happened. Thank you for being honest with me."

"Nessie."

"No, Jake. It is bad enough to find out that you were in love with my mother when she was human. Now, I find out that you imprinted on me. It sounds like I have no choice. That I have to be with you. That isn't exactly fair to me is it?"

"Nessie!"

"No! Enough!"

I got off my bed quickly, grabbed his pillow off of the couch, and threw it into the hallway.

"Find somewhere else to sleep. I do not want you in my room any more."

Jacob looked at me and then sadly turned away. I slammed the door behind him and curled up on my bed. So these feelings of mine for him might not have been a natural thing? It hurt to think that I might not have really had the choice to fall in love with Jacob. He couldn't have my mother so he went after her daughter? That is truly sick!

I started crying softly. In the darkness of the night, in the many trees surrounding our home, I heard a wolf crying. His cries joined with mine.

"Just shut up Jake!"

When I woke up, my father was sitting on the couch. He was watching the sunrise.

"Good morning Nessie."

"Morning Dad."

"I hear that you and Jacob had a little fight?"

"I guess you can say that."

"Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"Not really. I want to talk to you about something else."

"Okay."

I didn't feel much like talking so I got up off the bed and touched my father's hand. I showed him what I wanted to do.

"Are you sure that you want to do that?"

"Positive. I need time to think and work through some things. I cannot do that with Jake around."

"Jake left for La Push last night."

"Still, I know he will come back. I just want to be alone right now."

"I will talk to your mom and call Charlie and run the idea by the both of them. I am sure that there will be no problems."

"Thank you for understanding."

"I was at that point once in my life too, Nessie. I understand more than you know."

Dad left me to get ready for the day. I could hear him talking to mom first about what I wanted and then heard them on the phone with Grandpa Charlie. Then I heard my mother's graceful steps on the stairs and then the knock on my door.

"Nessie, can I come in?"

"Sure mom."

She came in and smiled. She sat down on the couch.

"We talked to Charlie. He loves the idea. He said whenever you are ready."

"I will pack today so I can be settled before school tomorrow."

"We just got here and you are already wanting to move out," she said, in a sad tone.

"It is not about you or dad. I just need to work out some things and I cannot do that knowing that Jake might come back."

"I understand. Let me know when you are ready. I will take you myself."

"Thank you."

She left me to my packing. I didn't have much to pack. Like mom said, we just moved back to Forks so most of our belongings had not arrived yet. Two hours later, I went downstairs with my suitcases.

"Mom, I am ready."

She came in from the kitchen and helped me with my luggage. When we were heading out of the front door, Jake was walking up.

"What is going on?"

"Nessie is going to stay with Charlie for awhile."

Jake looked at me.

"Don't go Nessie. We can talk and work this out."

"Jake, I need time away. I need to think and I cannot do that with you around. When I am ready to come home, you'll be the first to know."

With that I walked by him and put my suitcase in the back seat of my mom's car. I shut the door and got into the passenger side of the car. My mom placed my other suitcase behind her in the back seat and then got into the driver's side. We drove off with Jake watching us.