Disclaimer – I do not own any of the characters from Harry Potter or Twilight that you recognise, I am borrowing them and I will return them later.
A/N – Thanks to the people who reviewed, it does mean alot. So this is the next chapter, and I know it is coming out fast but that is because I need to generate an interest for the story, and the first few chapters never seem to do that. So I decided, since I did already get a couple of reviews, when I really didn't think I would as I had no idea if anyone beside me was interested in this pairing, that I would get the next chapter out.
Remember, I am mixing the POV's up between Jacob and Draco, so chapter two – this chapter – will be done in Jacob's POV.
Chapter 2 – When you lose the one.
- Jacob's POV -
"Jacob, come on bro, you need to get out of bed" my friend Embry called, roughly pulling the bed covers away from my face to get a better look at me "you look like shit" he added, frowning no doubt at the messy unkempt hair, the rough facial hair across my chin and cheeks and the dark rings around my eyes.
"Embry, I know you are trying to be a mate and get me out there, but you do not understand, none of you do, you only know what this is like because of my damn thoughts that I know you are all bloody sick of hearing" I growled, turning over to the side so that I didn't have to look at him anymore.
"Jacob, your dad said that if you don't at least go into the kitchen and eat something he is going to call Dr Cullen and have him do a mental examination on you" Embry threatened, his deep and husky voice showing a fear that I never knew existed in him.
"Why don't you go and tell my dad to piss off. He doesn't understand what this is like. He never bloody imprinted and had them run away without so much as a goodbye" I sighed, knowing that if Embry did go and say that to my dad, I would be grounded for a week.
"Bella has been calling as well Jake, she is worried about you, can you at least call her so that she stops bugging the rest of us" he pleaded, sitting down on the end of my small single bed.
"Fine, I will call Bella and tell her that I imprinted, am not in love with her anymore, oh and my imprint already left, yeah, I can see that conversation going down well" I remarked, sitting myself up against the wooden headboard "and I will go and eat something to shut dad up as well, but don't even start on the phasing thing. I am not bloody phasing again, I don't need you all knowing more then you already do" I finished, knowing what he was going to say.
"If that is the best we can get from you then we will have to accept it I guess" Embry huffed, crossing his large muscular arms across his broad chest. "Here, I have the cordless phone for you, call Bella"
I reach out and grab the phone, gripping it tighter then is acceptable – almost to the point where it nearly snapped in half.
"Can you give me a little privacy while I call Bella?" I snapped, throwing an angry glare at my friend, who simply nodded sadly and left the room, not bothering to close the door.
The phone only rang for two seconds before someone picked up the receiver.
"Jacob, please tell me that is you" Bella pleaded, sounding like a mad women.
"Is that anyway to greet someone on the phone Bells, what if it was someone else?" I said, chuckling slightly at the way Bella always over dramatized things, and this was no different.
"Do not get smart with me Jacob Black" she chided "I happen to be mad because you have not returned one of my calls, your father told my dad that you are not eating, and Quil tells me that you haven't phased in about a week. What is going on Jacob? And if you dare hang up or change the subject on me I will drive over there right now" she finished, breathing heavily through her nose in anger.
"Ok, do you want to come around here today? I think it will be easier to tell you face to face" I said through gritted teeth.
I do not want to see her – I do not want to see anyone – the only person I am interested in seeing is...Him.
"I will get Edward to drop me off at the treaty line, it will be faster that way, can you meet me there? We can head to the beach and talk or something" she said, her voice back to normal – kind and caring.
"Can I get Embry or someone to pick you up, I really don't want your leech lover reading my thoughts at the moment" I said, growling slightly at the idea that Edward Cullen would know everything that was going on with me if he came within a ten foot radius of me.
"Sure, sure" she replied, making me smile at the way she used my term in everyday conversations now.
"Alright, well I will send one of them over there now" I said, making sure to sound slightly cheerful at the idea of seeing my best friend.
"Ok Jake, I will see you soon" she whispered before hanging the phone up.
Great – just bloody great – now I have to tell her. It is really nobody's business, if I want to be depressed I have a damn good reason too – sure, the only people who know why I am the way I am these days is my pack brothers, but even that is too many people. I just want to be alone – there is nothing they can do – there is nothing I want them to do. All I want is...Him.
I walked slowly into the living room where I knew my dad would be – and sure enough there he was watching a programme on fishing.
"Hey, Embry, could you do me a favour and go and meet Bella at the treaty line? Her bloodsucker is dropping her off and I don't want him reading my mind" I asked, taking a seat on the floor near my dad's feet.
Embry smiled and nodded before holding his hands out to accept the keys to my Rabbit.
"I will be back soon" he said as he got up and left the room – the small wink he did in my dad's direction did not go un-missed by me – but I chose to ignore it.
"Jacob, are you going to tell me what is wrong kid, I am worried sick about you" my dad said, turning the TV off to spin his wheelchair around and get a good look at me.
"Can I tell you and Bella at the same time dad, please? I do not want to have to go through this more than once" I sighed – defeated.
He nodded slightly before taking off toward the kitchen "I am ordering pizza Jake, did you want something?" he called, lifting his head up as high as he could to see me.
"Sure dad, can you just get me a large peperoni pizza" I answered knowing that my eating was merely to keep my dad from going insane as I was not hungry at all.
The truth is that I have no energy to eat, or to drink, to bathe, to even bother getting out of bed most days. But I do not – or cannot – blame...Him.
Bella arrived ten minutes after the pizza was ordered. Embry threw my keys to me and stated he had to do a patrol of the perimeter and left.
"Jacob" Bella whispered, running over to me and throwing her small, petite arms around my waist. "Jacob you look so sick, are you ok? Please tell me what is wrong. Does this have anything to do with me? Is this about the way I keep pushing you away, because Jacob, as you found out not to long ago, I am marrying Edward, and I don't want you to go downhill because of..." but I cut her off by putting my large tan finger to her lips.
"No, Bella, this has nothing to do with you" I said, looking down into her deep soulful brown eyes "I promise I will explain in a minute, I just need to think of how best to tell what happened" I added, looking over at my dad, who was sitting near the dining table with his dark eyes glued to me and a sad look in his eyes.
"Take a seat Bells" I said, gesturing toward the wooden chairs at the dining room table and taking a seat myself.
"Wow, this is hard. First can I just ask one thing?" I began, looking between the two of them with unshed tears shining in my eyes.
They both nodded in unison, so I went on "can I just ask that once I start this story that you won't interrupt me, under any circumstances"
They both nodded again, effectively causing my throat to go dry.
"Ok, it all started last month" I began, looking down at my hands rather than at either of them "I imprinted on someone" at that they both gasped – but true to their word they did not say anything to interrupt me – and for that I am thankful.
"We got along really well. It was amazing, we had such a wonderful time together for the three weeks after I first met them, but a week ago we uh – well we – we took our relationship to the next level" I said lamely as I look up and see Bella smiling at me and my dad with his mouth hanging open like a fish – but again they both remained silent, so I continued.
"It was beautiful, not exactly what I had always imagined, but it was better than that – no offence Bella" I said, smiling at her as she put her hand in mine.
"But obviously this doesn't end happy as you can probably tell" I said laughing dryly at the thought of it all "the night that we – uh – made love - my imprintee took off, just left; no note, no explanation, no nothing. It was like I didn't even matter. But I thought I did, I thought that..." but I had to stop there, my throat was now so dry that it was starting to hurt, and my eyes were watering so much that I couldn't even see my hands in my lap anymore – it was all a blur.
"Jacob, honey, come here" Bella said, jumping up from her seat and throwing her arms around my shoulders – resting her head on top of mine "when I find out who this woman is that did this to you, I will make her pay – that much I promise" she said, placing a soft peck on my forehead.
This is hard, how can I tell them that I had imprinted, and made love to – a man. I had to tell them, there was no other way – they would probably find out when I died from this depression I am in anyway.
"Bella, there is no woman for you to 'make pay' for all of this" I whispered, putting my head into my hands as the images of him – and that night together – came back to me.
He was amazing – an angel sent down from Heaven. He had gorgeous blonde hair; so blonde that I would much rather refer to it as white, or silver. He had amazing, piercing and breathtaking grey eyes – the way he looked at me sent shivers down my spine and heat to my groin all the time. He had a slender and toned physique; not to muscular and not to skinny. He had soft pale skin without a single blemish or mark.
But more importantly – he had a brilliant personality – some would call it mean. He was a complete and utter snob when I first bumped into him. He clearly thought he was above anyone and everyone – but he was still perfect...Perfect for me.
"Jacob, son, are you ok?" my father asked, his low dulcet tones echoing in the small kitchen.
"Sorry dad" I said, trying, and failing to look into his eyes and smile at him "I was just thinking"
"Jacob, are you going to tell me why there is no woman I can hurt for doing this to you?" Bella whispered, using her hand to wipe the stray tear away from my face as it slid down my tan cheek.
"There is no woman, Bells, because – because – I – um – well, I imprinted on a man" I stuttered, silently hoping that neither of them would catch what I had said.
The silence is deafening and I am too afraid to look up – I don't want to see the disappointment and rejection on my father's face. I don't want to see the anger and rejection on Bella's face either – there is no way I can deal with losing my imprint, my dad and my best mate in the space of a week – I really would do something reckless and stupid to get myself killed then.
"Jacob, what was his name? I will get Charlie to look into him and see if we can find him" my father said, placing his hand under my chin and forcing me to look at him – I could have stopped him if I wished too – wolf boy with super strength after all.
"Draco, his name is Draco. Draco Malfoy" I answered, smiling at the thought of the one person I know I can't live without – even without the imprint I would love that boy. He is truly amazing. I want to – no – I need to find him and make it clear to him how much I care for him. Make him see how much I adore him – and more importantly – to tell him the truth. To tell him what I am, what my tribe is.
"Ok, Jacob, I will go and call Charlie now and have him do some detective work" my dad said, rolling over toward the wall phone we have in the kitchen – dad really does not work well with the cordless one.
"Dad, wait, he doesn't even live around here, in fact, I doubt he even lives in this country – he has the most amazing and beautiful British accent" I said allowing my small amount of hope to dwindle – there was no way that Charlie Swan of Forks Washington would have the connections or resources to find out anything about an angel who no doubt lives in England somewhere.
"Well there is no harm in trying kid" he said; the smile evident in his voice "and as soon as we do find him we will go to him. I will start saving now to send you to bloody England if I have to. I have read about what can happen to people who are away from their intended for a long period of time" he added, the smile he had in his voice gone now – instead it held subtle hints of fear and anger.
"Jacob, I am so sorry, do you know why he left?" Bella asked, stepping away from me so that she could look at me as she spoke.
"No, he didn't leave me with a reason. He just disappeared after we..." and I stopped again, choking as a dry sob racked through my body.
"Well, imprint or not, when I find out where he lives I will ask Edward if I can borrow some money and fly to England and give him a piece of my mind, and my fist" she said, breathing through her nose again – she does that when she is mad.
"Bella, please, don't, I care for him greatly, and I don't want him hurt, not even by my crazy best friend" I said, swiping at my eyes as the tears that I reserved for when I was alone at night came rushing toward the surface.
"I won't make any promises Jacob" she said, smiling at me and handing me a bottle of water from the fridge and a tissue from the bench "so, what do you want to do tomorrow? Do you want to catch a movie or something?" she asked, carding her delicate fingers through my dirty hair.
"You don't have to spend time with me just because I am heartbroken Bella. I am a dude, we deal with these things on our own" I said, laughing at the scowl on her face.
"Don't be such a guy Jacob. I want to spend time with you, I want to help you...The same way that you helped me when Edward was gone" she said, taking my large hand into her small one "it will be ok Jacob, and if Charlie can find this guy we will both go to England and get him back for you"
"Thanks Bells" I said, giving her hand a small squeeze before taking a sip of cold water for my dry throat.
"If my dad fails at finding him I have a backup plan, but it will require knowing where you two – um – uh – made love" she stuttered, her eyes looking desperately around the room and her cheeks flushing a brilliant shade of scarlet.
"Why would you need to know that?" I asked quizzically – this girl has lost the plot.
"Well, I will get Edward to track his scent, follow it all the way to his house if we can" she answered, a broad smile on her face as she spoke of her bloodsucking lover.
"Wow, I am idiot, I didn't even think of that. I have the whole wolf super power thing and I didn't even think to try and follow his scent" I growled, angry at myself for not thinking of it sooner.
"Well, you had alot more on your mind when you woke up and he was just gone, it is understandable that you didn't think of something like that" Bella said, trying desperately to make me feel better – but it wouldn't work – nothing did. The only thing that could possibly make any of this better is Draco.
"So, Jake, what is he like?" she asked, a slight amount of venom in her voice as she spat the word he.
"Draco, his name is Draco. And he is amazing, I really don't think you will like him at all, I don't think anyone will to be honest, but I do. He is simply perfect in my eyes" I said, knowing that my voice was cracking again at the thought of him.
"Aw, sweetie, come here" Bella crooned, bringing her arms around me, effectively burying my face in her shoulder.
The tears I saved solely for myself dripped delicately onto her blue jean jacket. Aching sobs wracked through my body, and my arms and legs shook with the tenacity that they do when I am about to phase. My heart aches and my brain feels numb
I felt Bella release her grip on me and step away only to feel the strong and comforting arms of my father wrap around me. "It will be ok son. I will make sure it is all ok, even if it is the bloody last thing I do" he soothed, using his hand to rub circles on my back as I cry into his shoulder – gasping for air and breathing raggedly.
"I just miss him so much dad. It hurts, it hurts so badly. I feel like such a girl, and I don't want to feel like this. I want to be strong, I want to be me again, but I just feel like I will never be me again – like I will never be whole again without Draco" I cried, burying my head deeper into his shoulder – the way I did when I was upset in my childhood years.
"I know son, I know" my dad soothed, his deep voice calming me enough to lift my head up and take a drink of water in an attempt to sooth my dry and scratchy throat.
"Wow, I am sorry. I didn't want to break down in front of you guys" I sighed, wiping frantically at my red eyes to try and stop the flow of tears.
"Don't you dare apologize Jacob Black, I would much rather have you balling your eyes out or breaking everything we have in this house then have you keep all of this to yourself, because son, it will kill you" dad said, grabbing a tissue and handing it to me "I swear kid, if you get like this at ANY time of the day or night you come straight to me, understand? I will not have this take its toll on you, because we will find your Draco and make him see reason, we will find out why he left and the two of you can work something out" he added, taking my hand into his "promise me Jacob, promise me that when your thoughts get the better of you and you begin to feel the way you, clearly, have been for the past week that you will come straight to me, or to Bella" he said, looking over at Bella who nods enthusiastically.
"Sure, sure" I answered, making sure to give them both a tired smile just as the pizza arrived at the front door.
"Now, I am going to call Edward ok? I will need you to tell me where you last – uh – seen Draco" Bella said – spitting Draco's name like he was the devil.
"Do not say his name like that Bella" I growled, my body heating up more than usual and my limbs shaking with the effort of trying not to phase in the house or with Bella standing so close.
"I'm sorry Jacob, I will try and be nice about him, but he hurt you, and that does not sit well with me at all, because, like I said to you when you were still chasing after me, you are like my little brother" she said, coming over and putting her hand on my arm "please forgive me"
"Fine, I will forgive you this time, but do not speak his name in that way again" I growled "and we had sex in my room Bell's, when my dad was with yours. We only ever came here when dad wasn't around though. I didn't want them to meet, and Draco was not to keen on ever having to meet dad either to be honest" I finished gazing longingly at my bedroom as images of Draco writing beneath me assaulted my brain.
"Oh well, do you think it would be ok for Edward to come here then?" she asked peeking over at my father who was having a conversation with the pimple faced delivery boy.
"Wait until my dad goes to your place tonight ok? I don't want to have to explain about why a leech is in the house. I will tell the boys that he is allowed to cross this one time – but you need to come as well"
"Ok, thanks Jake. I will be back around later then, when your dad gets to mine. Goodbye honey" Bella said, kissing my cheek as she left the house, waving to my dad on the way out.
Bella is a great friend, my dad accepted that I imprinted on a male as though it was normal, the pizza smells good, my dad wants me to go to him when I am down – which is just about all the time. But most of all there is a small glimmer of hope that I will find Draco, and if I do then I will tell him the truth, I will make him see how much he means to me. I will try and make us work together because there is nothing I want more then that at this moment in time.
"Draco, wherever you are, please know that I miss you so, so much. I hope you are ok" I whispered aloud to myself.
Please read and review. It means heaps to me.