Chapter Two

"Er, are you Leopold Ackerley?" An unsure voice asked from above Leopold. Leopold hesitated before looking up. He had been unsuccessful in trying to convince Shacklebolt that the plan was ridiculous and he would have no part in it. All he did was get Shacklebolt angry enough to strike him with a Jelly Legs Jinx and banish him from the office. Leopold supposed that the situation wasn't completely Harry Potter's fault and that he shouldn't take out his anger and desperation on the poor guy. Nevertheless, Leopold couldn't help but curse Potter's good looking parents for passing on their good looking genes to their now good looking son.

"Yeah, I am. You're Harry Potter, I presume."

"What gave it away?"

"The impending sense of doom that followed you into my cubicle." Harry snorted, leaning against the flimsy wall of Leopold's cramped cubicle. He looked as uncomfortable as Leopold felt and that was at least a slight comfort.

"I get that a lot. I'm glad that you're going to enjoy this about as much as I am or less so. Try to talk Shacklebolt out of it?"

"With as much flattery as I could. He seems to think this is a good idea. Either that or he really wants to see me suffer. He must be trying to get me back for that time I accidentally arrested him while he was using Polyjuice for a case."

"I've learned that when the older generation gets an idea in their head, they are hard pressed to be talked out of it. I think we're in this for the duration, unfortunately. Which means this is going to be the most awkward couple of weeks of my life."

"At least you'll be able to recover from it. Shacklebolt is single handedly killing my sex life. I will never be able to find a girlfriend when this is over. That wand witch from the Leaky Cauldron will never look at me again." Leopold had to stop himself from wailing in anguish. Harry looked confused at the mention of the witch, but didn't question.

"Do you have any idea how long this is supposed to last?" Potter questioned, gazing about the cubicle in vague interest. His gaze rested upon his partner's nametag for a second before he looked back at Leo.

"Long enough to make sure the dangerously amorous vixens vying for your attention are thoroughly convinced you're a hopeless cause." Harry Potter paused, appearing to be deep in thought. Leopold was busy trying to think of a way to kick the guy out of his cubicle without actually telling him to get out. They were going to be spending an unnatural amount of time with each other soon enough, there was no reason why they had to add more time to that.

"Er, so your place or mine?" Harry asked abruptly. Leopold snapped out of his thoughts in time to give Potter a quizzical look and a raised eyebrow. He had the sudden, not exactly disturbing but slightly confusing, thought that Potter was coming on to him. As this situation was completely unique, Leopold didn't quite know what to do.

"Pardon?"

"To live. Your place or mine? My place is sort of depressing, but I have a house elf and an abundance of rooms. Plus there are loads of protective spells on it that I haven't yet had a chance to remove." For some reason, while Leopold was thinking of all the ways the pending fake marriage horrified him, living with Potter had not been addressed. Now that he thought of it, however, he felt stupid for not realizing it sooner.

"Merlin, what did I do to deserve this?" Leopold muttered. "I—uh, I don't know. Whichever works best for you, I suppose. I have a flat in downtown London, but there's, ah, only one bedroom."

"Grimmauld Place it is, then," Harry said, quickly. "Shacklebolt said we should start the, er, courtship as soon as possible. Someone sent me hexed flowers today with a dark spell modified to leave permanent kiss marks on whoever smells them, as the secretary found out the hard way." Leopold was stunned. He had never heard of women going to such extreme lengths for a man before. It was disheartening that it hadn't happened to him and shocking that it would happen at all.

"My God, Potter, are you part Veela or something?" Harry looked appalled at the thought, shaking his head in dissent vigorously.

"And now that you put that thought into my mind, I'm going to have nightmares for quite some time. Thank you for that." Leopold smirked. He was struck by how adult yet how naïve Potter seemed to be. He supposed things like that happened to a kid who didn't have a proper childhood. Or adolescence. Or life.

"So sorry for makingyour life slightly uncomfortable. I'll remember not to mention things like that while I'm busy being your wife." Harry frowned, rolling his eyes. He straightened up and turned to leave.

"This ought to be interesting," he grumbled, walking away. Leopold sighed, turning back to the reports he was attempting to write up. Interesting wasn't quite the word Leopold would have used to describe the situation. Ridiculous was the only word he could think of that he could say in front of a child.

"Leo! You're still alive!" Roger Davies exclaimed as he strode into the room, thumping Leo on the back. Leo sighed again, pushing the reports aside and letting his head droop into his hands.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Unfortunately? What did Shacklebolt want with you?"

"To give me a ridiculous mission that won't work and that he knows probably won't work but gave to me anyway to torture me."

"Bad luck, mate. What do you have to do?" Leo shook his head, hoping Davies wouldn't press the matter further. He didn't, he sat down at his desk instead, resting his feet on top of the reports Leo had cast aside. "Do I need a new partner, then?"

"I don't know. Probably and Merlin willing, not."

"Well that's good news. I was afraid I'd be stuck with a Hufflepuff. Or someone like Harry Potter. I work better with Ravenclaws. Though, I suppose Potter wouldn't be too bad, he could toss a few of his admirers my way, instead of driving them away like you." Davies snorted derisively, picking at his nails.

"Shut up. I went home with that witch from the Leaky last night, you know."

"After she had a pint or so of firewhiskey in her."

"Ergh, shut up, Davies. She did not have that much to drink."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Leo rolled his eyes, but smiled.

"And you realize that we've been out of Hogwarts for three years. House allegiance doesn't really count for much anymore." Davies ignored Leo, pulling the report out from under his feet to flip through it uninterestedly.

"We got a case while you were in with Shacklebolt, by the way. Apparently some goblins have been terrorizing towns in Wales."

"Ah! A distraction. Just what I need to help me not to think of the awful turn my life has taken."

"Stop being so damn dramatic, Leo."