Tessa's eyes snapped open, and she sighed, rubbing them furiously. They were lined with crust from dry tears, and they itched. She sat up, and looked around her room, the bleak sunlight shining through the window, but not making the room seem any homier. Lately, she'd been feeling… out of place. Not belonging. The scene from last night washed into her mind like persistent waves crashing ferociously on the rocks of the shore. She kicked her feet, trying to rid herself of it, but to no avail. Tessa sighed and got out of bed, her bare legs shivering from the morning chill.
She threw her fuzzy bathrobe over her nightclothes and plodded down the hallway tiredly, turning when she came to the door into Jem's room. She turned the door knob quietly, and came in a softly as she could, closing the door silently behind herself. She tiptoed to his bedside, and he was laying on his side, in the fetal position. She drew a chair next to the bed and sat quietly, just watching him. The soft light fell onto his in such a way that made her reach forward and brush his cheek with the back of her hand. Tessa inhaled sharply; his face was as soft as a baby's. She slid off the chair and onto her knees, getting closer, resting her hand on his forehead and trailing her finger down his neck, smiling when he sighed in his sleep. A happy, contented sigh. He turned over slightly and she saw his face, the face of an angel in his rest. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, saying a prayer in her mind, when he grabbed her wrist with Shadowhunter reflexes.
"Good morning, Tessa." Tessa drew back, utterly embarrassed with herself.
"Jem- I… I didn't think you would wake." She replied, cursing herself silently for coming up with such an awful excuse. However, he smiled gently, and kissed her fingertips, which made her gasp. She drew her hand away quickly, quicker than she meant to, and his eyes drew away from her.
"I apologize for frightening you, Miss Gray." He was interrupted with a fit of coughing, and he saw Tessa's hand slowly creep toward the silver box on his night table. "No, Tessa, it's alright. Just the cold." She nodded, concern in her eyes. Did he know what had happened last night? Had Wi-… no, she dare not even think his name. She stood up and shivered, when she realized the window was open, the light blue curtains billowing gently, but a cold, foreboding breeze coming from behind them, despite the peaceful look. She clicked her tongue, "That's why you're so cold, Jem. The window is open." She closed the window and pulled the curtains shut, and turned around, to find that his eyes were trained on her. His washed out eyes, though beautiful, unnerved her, and she walked towards the door,
"Well, if that will be all then, Jem, I'll-"
"What is it about me that repels you so, Tessa?"
She paused "I beg your pardon?"
He stared at the ceiling, not meeting her gaze, "Why is it that when I try to get close to you, you pull away, and yet you are always coming to me, like you want me to?" he asked honestly. Tessa didn't know what to say, her heart was in her throat, and pounding a million times a minute. He looked at her, but she dare not meet his gaze head-on, for fear that he would see right through her with his penetrating eyes. She shook her head and silently flitted from the room, like a ghost that had never actually been there in the first place.