Dedicated to: sitting on top of the monkey bars, free internet, the paper clip on word document and to my sister (you made me angry enough to write this, love you, seriously).
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Notes: Yeah I got a beta. :)
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What's it like to see a ghost?
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December 7, 2010 (Naruto)
"So I'm back, but I guess you probably know that. Well, someone suggested that we keep a record of our days in this hell, and I guess I've been a bit busy to keep up constantly, but I'm doing it now! So, um, where should I begin?
"I guess I can tell you a bit about my family; not that anyone who listens to this would really care, but it's better than nothing. I haven't had the best life, I mean, sure I guess that's what every 16 year old says, but I think I have a pretty good reason to say it."
Shallow breath.
"See, when I was five years old, my aunt got a call from the police department saying that my parents were found about three miles away, decapitated and drained of blood. At that time, I didn't know what that meant, all I knew was that mommy and daddy were gone and I had to live with my aunt. She's… well, for lack of a better word, psychotic as fuck. She always had this idea that if anyone was being fucked with by another person, that person should get their ass whooped."
Light chuckle.
"She told me that around the age of nine when I came home, beaten up. She told me that if I didn't beat the living shit out of this kid and make him bleed, then she would drown me in the bathtub.
"I learned that day. Because she coaxed me gently to the bathroom, told me to turn the faucet on in the tub and plug the drain. While it was filling up with hot, hot water, she sat me on her lap and stroked my hair. She said that I looked so much like my father and that I would grow up to be a great man. She kissed my forehead and grabbed me gently by the wrist to the tub. She made me unplug it; I did as I was told, because she was always right in my eyes. I went to grab the plug and she pushed my head under, holding me in place until I lost consciousness."
Deep breathing.
"I woke up, my head on her lap and her stroking my hair again. She looked down at me with glassy eyes and a small smile on her lips. She told me, 'I love you honey, and I want you to be strong. You don't want that to happen again, right?' I remember shaking my head no, and her dipping down to kiss my cheek."
Slight cough and the sound of a window shutting.
"She told me, 'I love you honey, so much.' and giggled. She was crazy and she made me who I am today."
Full out laughs and then the sound of panting.
"I don't know whether to thank her or curse her."
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"Karin, why are you such a bitch," a sweet voice yelled out scathingly.
Karin, who had red hair and eyes to match, stood up, her chair falling backwards. Mockingly, she bit out, "Sakura, why are you such a slut
Sakura, who was leaning up against the wall with a glare fixated on her face, smiled prettily. She flipped some of her pink hair over her shoulder and said, "Don't take your sexual frustration out on me, just because you haven't fucked a guy in your life, does not mean that you can hate on me because I have."
"Believe me, I have fucked plenty of people. But see here's the difference between me and you; all of the times, I was in a serious relationship." Karin spat out, looking disgustedly at Sakura.
Sakura rolled her eyes and turned away, heading up the staircase and out of sight. Karin glared at the spot she was just at and then stormed off in the other direction.
"Thank god," a tired voice called out to the silence. A bush of shockingly bright blonde hair was seen emerging from under the table, followed by blue eyes and a mischievous grin. "I thought they would never stop." He mumbled to himself, stretching his back and pooping out the kinks in it. Running a hand through his messy hair, he walked towards the hallway, intent on finding his friend's bedroom.
"Teme! Where are you Teme! TEME!" Naruto shouted, he banged on the walls with closed fists and gave a huge grin as a dark figure emerged from one of the rooms.
"Dobe, do me a favor and shut the fuck up," the figure said.
Naruto grinned and rushed to his room, he heard the figure grumble and enter as well, closing the door behind him.
"What the fuck do you want?"
Naruto grinned again and shrugged his shoulders.
"I dunno."
Teme, or more commonly known as Sasuke, glared at Naruto with his dark red eyes and seethed.
"You woke me up for nothing," Sasuke's dark voice questioned. The temperature in the room dropped and Naruto shrugged again, completely unperturbed.
"Well, bye Teme." Naruto jumped off the bed, waved and ran out all in a mere 20 second interval. Sasuke glared at the spot that Naruto previously occupied and walked to his bathroom. He turned on the fluorescent lights and stared at his reflection in the dirty mirror.
He sighed.
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December 7, 2010 (Sasuke)
"Let this be known that I still find this incredibly stupid; who cares what I've been through? But still, it makes sense in a strange way. Keeping a recording of our thoughts, so when people listen to it, they know what not to do."
Deep sigh, sound of footsteps.
"When I was little, you could say I lived a privileged life. I had money, I had a name people feared, and I got everything I wanted. But it didn't matter because I was still nothing. I was worthless and weak, or that's what my father said every time he scolded me.
"My father was a difficult man; not ever really happy, and always serious. Always. But I needed his approval – his affection. I wanted him to be proud to have me as a son."
Snort.
"That was a shitty plan. He didn't care for me, my mother was gone, and my brother was a fucking freak. It was a pretty fucking dim childhood. But things took a turn; I started noticing… changes in my father, I guess you could say. He would sometimes space out, and that was a big deal because to him, any time wasted his fucking blasphemy. But other than that… he would smile and buy me toys and love me. And then the next second I was being beaten by him, while he yelled and bitched at me for nothing. Mood swings."
Deep sigh.
"I started finding syringes lying around the house, and powder stuff; I didn't know it was Coke back then.
"Things were changing with me too, I guess. I didn't care for his approval; I didn't really care for anything but school. But even then school was hell. I would get bullied because I was rich and supposedly a snobby little brat. But I never came home with bruises or scars because I was smart. I hid them from my father. He didn't tolerate weakness.
"I fucked up one day – forgot that my father was home more. I came home beaten, bloodied and scarred. I had tears in my eyes; weakness. My father saw that and got angry. He hit me more, screamed like a psychopath. 'Crying is for girls! Are you a girl? Do you have a vagina? Do you like boys? No? Then stop your fucking crying!'"
Harsh laugh.
"He left me that night, to do what, I don't know. But what I do know was that when he came home, he found me in my room with a handkerchief covering my eyes. He said nothing to me and walked out. I remember giving a half smirk and wincing as I felt around for the knife I had just used.
"You see, that night I had just slashed across my eyes with a rusty butcher knife. I haven't cried since."
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Sakura stared at her reflection in the grimy window in her small bedroom. She sighed as she saw from a distance smoke rising up in the air. They were at it again; destroying people's lives because it was a part of the destructive ritual.
She closed her eyes, and twirled a lock of her pretty pink hair between her fingers. She wouldn't admit it, but Karin's words stung.
She knew that what she did was horrible, but she made up for it right? She wasn't a completely horrible person, she didn't destroy marriages and relationships (was there a difference? you basically give up yourself either way…).
No, she didn't destroy them, if anything; she showed the wife what a fucking scum bag her husband was.
She was helping; or that's what she said to make the nightmares stop.
"Sakura" A voice called out questioningly.
Her eyes snapped open and she smiled her stunning smile.
"Yes, Sasuke," She asked, and batted her eyelashes. It was a habit to do that; it would never change.
He tossed her a pair of all black pants and uttered one word, "Fix."
She smiled prettily again and nodded. He left her room, the door closing softly behind him and her smile wavered. Not because he was a jerk, not because she had to sew his pants, and not because she wished she was anywhere but here.
No, but because of the small tiny little voice in the back of her head that whispered to her.
"You're so dirty."
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December 7, 2010 (Sakura)
"I'm back; always will be. Because I'm not going anywhere. Because this is what my life has come to. This is what I am."
Erratic breathing.
"I am not evil. I am not a home wrecker; and I do deserve a happy ending. What I do…what I do is wrong and I know this. But it's what I've grown up believing, you see, and I desperately hope you understand. But this is what I have known all my life. When I was a little girl… when I was pure, clean and untouched, my mother taught me a life lesson. She would spit these little lessons out randomly on everything. This one was different; see, her relationship with my daddy back then was deteriorating fast. He was cheating, she knew it and even I, at age 10, knew it.
"She sat me down one day, after she dolled me up. I remember the outfit perfectly; it was so pretty. Green little dress, with white socks and white flats. She braided my hair and patted me softly on the cheek. I remember her saying, 'Kura-chan, I love you and want nothing but the best for you. You're intelligent, beautiful, witty and the best thing in my life. So I'm going to tell you what will make you so successful in life; something that will put you over the top and extravagant.' I remember looking at her with a small smile on my face. Anything she said to me was wonderful. I loved her so much."
Deep breathing.
"She told me that I had to be a whore; like, becoming a whore was the way to go. She said it would make me beautiful, and that my daddy wanted me to do it. She said that he would be so proud of me. Back then I didn't know exactly what a whore was; all I knew was that it made people happy. She fed me those lies. Instilled them in me until I was perfect at it. She said one last thing before she let me off on the prowl."
Short laugh, quiet sigh.
"She said I had to pick a target, someone easy and familiar. I picked my daddy, and the little scumbag wholeheartedly agreed. That was the first day I was unclean."
Beat of silence.
"I'm a good person; I'm not some bimbo whore. I have morals, and I have a conscience. I have a heart and feelings and I would appreciate it if they weren't tramped on every fucking second of the day!"
Heavy breathing, minute of silence.
"I'm a good person… I'm a good person… I'm a good person… I'm… a… good… person?"
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an: There you have it, my update for the week. Hope you like it and review please?