Chapter: Fluffy Clouds

It was with a mix relief and anticipation of impending doom that Zuko corrected their course to avoid passing over any populated islands on their way to the Boiling Rock. The relief was for the return to action and a break from the uncertainty of his position within the group. He had spent the years of his banishment in constant action, with a keen sense of purpose and direction. It felt good to be on the move again. The doom was for the knowledge of how stupid and reckless going to the Boiling Rock truly was. I might as well deliver myself to the palace in chains, he thought morosely. I really hope he has a plan.

Zuko glanced at his companion. He and Sokka had not spoken since they boarded his war balloon. This was the longest, Zuko had ever heard the Water Tribe teen remain silent. Even during fights, Sokka was full of banter and odd war cries. Now, the boy was just sitting there staring at the clouds as they passed with his arms braced on the sides of the basket.

Adding more flames to the furnace, Zuko examined his reasons for insisting on coming with Sokka. He had felt guilty for sharing with Sokka the information about what might be happening to the other boy's father. Zuko certainly had the knowledge of the prison that might make this crazy scheme possible. During his weeks with the group, he had developed an attachment to each of them and didn't want to see anything bad happen to any of them.

A less altruistic part of Zuko's mind whispered that this was also another chance to prove himself to the group. In protecting Sokka and possibly returning his father, Zuko would show just how reformed he truly was. And then there was Katara.

The waterbender was the major source of Zuko's anxiety these days. From the moment he had arrived at the Western Air Temple offering to teach firebending, she had been the most hostile and unforgiving. She had even gone as far as threatening his life if he did anything to hurt the group.

Katara has every right to hate me after what I did, Zuko sighed internally. He didn't like to think back to Ba Sing Se, although it had haunted him every day since leaving the city. He had never spoken of what had happened or what had almost happened in the crystal cavern to anyone.

More than proving himself to the rest of the group, Zuko knew that agreeing to this insane rescue mission had been about proving himself to Katara.

Once again unnecessarily stoking the furnace, Zuko tried to avoid looking at Katara's brother whose eyes at least in color bore an uncomfortable resemblance to the waterbender's. When he did finally glance back at Sokka, Zuko met the other boy's eyes and awkwardly looked away. After another moment of agonizing silence, Sokka observed, "Pretty clouds."

Looking up at them, Zuko replied, "Yeah, fluffy."

Neither boy knew what to say to the other. They had never spent much time alone together. Similarly, neither had grown up around boys of their own age, making conversation all the more challenging between them.

After another pause where both tried to seem interested in the clouds, Sokka began whistling. Zuko rounded on him demanding, "What?!"

"What?" Sokka responded in kind. "Oh, I didn't say anything." After yet another pause, in which Zuko seriously considered leaping from the basket, Sokka offered, "You know a friend of mine actually designed these war balloons."

"No kidding?" Zuko asked, grateful for any topic to interrupt the awkward silence.

"Yep... A balloon, but for war," Sokka stated with characteristic eloquence.

"If there's one thing my Dad's good at, it's war," Zuko said bitterly.

"Yeah, it seems to run in the family," Sokka commented, nonchalantly rubbing his neck.

You're the Fire Lord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood!

Zuko felt chagrin and anger rise at the echo of the words that stung so much even now. "Hey, hold on," he said rounding on Sokka as he had once snapped at another Water Tribe sibling. "Not everyone in my family is like that!"

Sokka waved away Zuko's protest. "I know, I know, you've changed."

"I meant my uncle." Zuko felt like he was drowning in his shame. "He was more of a father to me… And I really let him down." Understatement of the decade.

Seeing the misery in Zuko's expression, Sokka said, "I think your uncle would be proud of you. Leaving your home to come help us, that's hard." Sometimes, Sokka was every bit as good as Katara at emotional support and comfort.

"It wasn't that hard," Zuko admitted, still not facing Sokka.

"Really?" Sokka said skeptically. "You didn't leave behind anyone you cared about?"

"No, not really." His sister, Mai, and Ty Lee had certainly made efforts to include him while he had been home but he had never felt any sense of belonging or obligation to them.

On the voyage back to the Fire Nation after the fall of Ba Sing Se, Mai had tried to start something with Zuko. At first, he had attempted to be interested, if for nothing else but a distraction from what had just passed under the Earth King's palace and from the anxiety he was feeling about his return home.

One night, Zuko had broken down and confided some of his fears and trepidation to her. Mai had yawned and disinterestedly replied, "I just asked if you were cold. I didn't ask for your whole life story." She had turned and walked away from him, uncaring.

Zuko had been unable to even feign interest in her after that.

"My father and sister are not exactly warm and loving. I tried dating one of my sister's friends but that didn't last long."

"Which one?" Sokka said, sounding more interested.

"Mai."

"That gloomy girl who sighs a lot?" Sokka asked the incredulity obvious in his voice.

"Yeah," Zuko said, shrugging to convey his own disbelief at such foolishness.

Sokka sat back, offering, "My first girlfriend turned into the Moon."

Zuko heard the loss in Sokka's words. He had a brief flash of the boy standing with a pale haired girl wearing a purple parka at the Spirit Oasis in the North Pole. Unable to think of anything better to say, Zuko consoled, "That's rough, buddy."

After another much longer pause, Sokka seemed to shake himself out of his reverie and joked, "My sister has even worse taste in boys than you do in girls."

Zuko's attention snapped back to him at this. "What do you mean?" Zuko asked anxiously.

"Let's just say there was this guy we met along the way who filled her head with all these ideals just to manipulate her into doing what he wanted."

Zuko felt both guilt and fury flood him. "It sounds like that guy had no honor," he said forcefully, not meeting Sokka's gaze.

"Yeah, well, when we ran into him again later, he seemed like he'd changed, even tried to make things up to Katara," Sokka said oblivious to the emotional chaos he was causing the firebender. "I think she might've even forgiven him."

"Really?"

"Maybe, Katara isn't really good at holding grudges. Sure, she gets mad enough at the time but it doesn't really stay with her," Sokka said casually.

"Do you think that this guy deserved her forgiveness?" Zuko asked, not sure he really wanted an answer.

"I don't know, he didn't actually kill anybody after all," Sokka said rubbing his chin.

"Yeah but he hurt your sister and betrayed her trust."

"Oh don't worry, Katara got back at him. When she found out what he'd done, she froze him to a tree!" Sokka said smiling reminiscently.

"What?" Zuko barked.

"Yeah," Sokka sighed happily. "He wasn't even a bender so who knows how long it took him to get free! Served him right." He gleefully pictured Jet struggling, unable to move a limb against the cascade of enveloping ice.

Sokka was finding it much easier to talk about Katara's past love life than his own. "Of course, if Aang gets his way, I won't ever have to worry about Katara and boys again."

"What do you mean?" Zuko asked just a little too quickly.

Not noticing, Sokka replied, "That kid's been gone on her since we first found him frozen in that iceberg."

"Really? But he is so... young?"

"The heart wants what the heart wants," Sokka pronounced philosophically.

"Does your sister…" Zuko's words trailed off.

"I honestly don't know," Sokka said, frowning a little. "Before Ba Sing Se, she seemed completely oblivious to it. But after… something changed. I don't know what she knows or feels now. I just know that something is different."

Zuko felt distressed again. It always comes back to Ba Sing Se.

"But like you said, Aang's still young. Who knows what either of them will feel in a couple years," Sokka continued dismissively, lightening the mood.

"Hey, Zuko! Check out that cloud!" Sokka said, straightening up and pointing over the prince's shoulder. "It looks just like a koala-sheep!"