Disclaimer: The carol isn't mine, nor is Castle. But I sure had fun with it.
A/N: Fair warning; don't drink while reading my stuff. Since I'm obviously insane, as ya'll now know, *grin*, I had to write this. It was stuck in my head in an endless loop, and if I have to suffer through that, you have to too. ; )
After celebrating Christmas with the Castle's at the loft, Kate came home happier than she had been for so many previous Christmases. But they didn't have a long vacation; they had to get back to work soon. And so she was back home, cleaning up and getting things ready for boring, usual everyday life. As she finally went to put her jacket in the coat closet, she heard what sounded like paper rustling. She found the source to be a rectangular, folded sheet of paper in one of the jacket pockets. She took it out and hardly got to reading two lines before she started smiling in earnest. The goofball.
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the city
The power had been cut by the evil, Mc. Titti.
The Kat signal was shone through the night sky with care,
In hopes that Kat-IC soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug with their toffees,
While adults were sipping their yet unadulterated coffees.
And Kat-IC, in tight leather, all shiny and black,
Watched her plucky side-kick, Rickaffinate, nap.
When out in the sky, she saw the call of distress,
She sprang from their bed to see about the mess.
Away to the window she flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and smelled the New York trash.
She woke her partner and they set off to go,
To find the source of the signal, with good Samaritan below.
When, what the Samaritan said he had heard,
Messing with coffee? That's truly absurd!
With help from New York's finest, so lively and quick,
She knew that in moments their plan would stick.
More rapid than eagles, Titti's shipments were stopped,
And he growled, and lashed, and in anger, he hopped!
"Now Slasher! Now, Lancer! Wear pants here and quick!
Foiled though my plan is, we shall get the mighty Kat-IC.
To the garage! And abduct the best friend of Miss. Kat!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away to Smackdat!"
As they stood there and stared like he's off his rockers,
He explained that Imma Smackdat was her name, though a shocker.
So up to her house they went and kidnapped her,
By the end did they grab her, but also learned she's a smacker.
And then, in a twinkling, they heard in the lair,
The prancing and dancing Titti, so rare.
As they slowly backed up, and left him from fright,
Down the street, Kat-IC was planning through the early night.
She called upon Marlot Anderson, her creator and re-giver of life,
The one who cut through her bullet wound with a knife.
He'd injected her with adawomantium, a drug with such magic,
It healed all her wounds, saved her end from being tragic.
He told her the tale of how Alfred Titterman and he,
Went from best friend and lab partner to sworn enemy
His droll little mouth was drawn into a frown,
As he helped Kat-IC and Rickaffinate turn the situation around.
With a plan they set off to save Ms. Smackdat,
Using Marlot as bait, they'd lure Mc. Titti into a trap.
Titti didn't fall for a plan so weak,
But it was enough for Rickaffinate to be able to sneak!
While he tried to kill his nemesis, Titti didn't see,
That Rickaffinate had quietly set Ms. Smackdat free.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave Kat-IC the chance for which they had prepared.
Titti yelled out and winced as he looked on in pain,
The needle stuck out from one of his veins.
Kat-IC had struck him with his own evil nanobots,
And they ate at his flesh & bones till he was no more than a dot!
They all rejoiced, and as the clock struck twelve,
Marlot departed, happy, and too disgusted to dwell.
Now that city was saved from a caffeine-less plight,
Rickaffinate kissed Kat-IC all through the Christmas night.
~The End~
By the time she finished, she was lying down on her bed with a silly smile stretched across her face. She typed out a message quickly, and sent it to him. Then she set the paper on her bed side table and snuggled into her cozy blanket and fell into a peaceful slumber.
Minutes later, at the loft, Castle grinned into the darkness of his room as he read her message. "Good night kisses to the best plucky sidekick, Rickaffinate. - XO, Kat-IC."
A/N: I'm sorry. I had to do it! It's like a compulsion! And I dedicate it to all my twitter and fanfic friends, and readers. Ya'll are always awesome, and encouraging. And though this stuff is ridiculous, you still love me through it.