A/N: Yay! It's chapter 2! Exclamation point!
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Chapter 2: Filthy Idiotic Hypocrite
The following afternoon, Harry, Hermione, and Ron set out for Hogwarts.
"I can't believe we have to go back to this stupid castle again. I mean, I've seen more than enough of this place," moaned Ron as they walked through Hogsmeade. After eating lunch in the Hog's Head, it was finally time to head up to the castle.
"How can you say that, Ron?" protested Hermione. "Hogwarts was the best thing that ever happened to us!"
Harry couldn't help but agree. After all, school had been his first chance to escape his miserable life at the Dursley's. When he informed Ron of this, he merely looked at Harry and shook his head.
"I suppose it will be rather different this year for the students, won't it?" remarked Hermione. "There were all of those deaths and there'll be three new staff members too!" They walked through the huge front gates and up the gently sloping hill.
"Three?" asked Ron looking extremely confused.
"Yeah," replied Harry, relieved to be able to follow Hermione's thought process for one. "We need Defense Against the Dark Arts, Muggle Studies, and Transfiguration since McGonagall got promoted to headmistress."
"Hmm… well I'm not sure," suggested Ron, "but I think she might have asked Percy to come back and teach transfiguration." Harry and Hermione gave him looks of disbelief.
"Are you serious?" asked Harry and Ron nodded. "Ginny is going to go ballistic when she realizes that her brother is her new teacher."
"Yeah, probably," Ron replied, "but Mum said not to tell her about it. She'll figure it out herself when she gets here."
Harry felt bad for Ginny, but he was also happy for Percy. Harry had seen Percy quite a lot that summer and was beginning to see him as an actual human being. Maybe it had something to do with Percy quitting his job at the Ministry.
Harry led the way into the newly reconstructed entrance hall. Ron started walking towards the Transfiguration Department, only to be halted by Hermione.
"And where do you think you're going?" she demanded bossily. "McGonagall is headmistress now, she's got a new office."
"Oh, I knew that," said Ron, his ears turning scarlet. He meekly turned toward the staircase.
At the top of the stairs, they almost ran headlong into Mr. Weasley. He was wearing his least-shabby robes, and had a thrilled, excited look on his face that reminded Harry of a young Dudley on Christmas morning.
"Dad! What are you doing here? Mum didn't say anything about you coming to Hogwarts!" exclaimed Ron. His expression was a mixture of bewilderment and surprise.
"Well," began Mr. Weasley, looking rather sheepish, "don't tell anyone, but I've just been to see Minerva, Professor McGonagall to you of course, and she's been looking for a new Muggle Studies teacher, and well, she hired me, so now I'm Professor Weasley!" He said all of this very quickly in one breath.
The three looked at him in shock. Hermione was first to recover.
"Wow, Mr. Weasley. That's… great!" she exclaimed. "I guess you and Percy will both be at Hogwarts this year!"
"Er…Yes," Mr. Weasley told them. "I suppose we will. Please don't breathe a word of this to Molly or Ginny. I want it to be a surprise!" With these words, he started down the stairs.
"Mental," Ron said when his father was finally out of earshot. "Absolutely mental. He knows nothing about muggles."
"True," replied Harry, "and why is everybody so keen to keep your sister in the dark about all of this? She's going to have a fit when her dad and brother burst into Hogwarts." The other two couldn't help but agree with this point.
When they reached the ugly stone gargoyle, they gave the password and climbed onto the slowly revolving staircase. At the top, Harry knocked on the door and pushed it open.
The first thing he noticed was the assortment of pictures on the walls. Dumbledore was centered over McGonagall's desk, peering over the top of his half-moon spectacles at Harry. On his right, black eyes beady and penetrating, hair eternally greasy was Severus Snape. Harry's heart gave a lurch as he remembered that Snape had really spent sixteen years protecting him in memory of Lily Potter.
He then noticed Professor McGonagall sitting behind the enormous claw-footed desk. She smiled severely and nodded as they came in.
"Hello Professor!" Hermione greeted her cheerfully. "It's so good to see you!"
"Ah, hello Miss Granger, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley. Please, do take a seat," McGonagall offered, indicating the three hard straight-backed chairs in front of the desk. They sat down feeling rather uncomfortable.
The former transfiguration professor began to speak, "Well, you three know why I asked you to come, so I'll tell you exactly what our problem is. As you are aware, you are a year short on your schooling. Most of your classmates didn't learn anything last year either. Technically, you have not taken your examinations, so you cannot get a job."
Hermione's mouth opened in horror. Harry and Ron could see her panicking and tried to calm her down. It didn't work.
"B-but professor, I've been d-dreaming of the day my hard work p-pays off for years," Hermione burst out. She began sobbing onto Ron's shoulder. Ron, looking rather amused, patted her awkwardly on the back, a tender look in his eyes.
"Miss Granger, please do get a grip," Professor McGonagall told her sternly. "What I meant was that under ordinary circumstances, you would have to repeat a year. As your headmistress, however, I am quite happy to grant you diplomas."
Harry was very relieved by this statement. This didn't even begin to cover the extent of Hermione's jubilation. With a flying leap, she launched herself out of her chair, jumped across the table and hugged McGonagall fiercely.
The only person in the room more surprised by this action than Harry and Ron was the teacher herself. Then again, Harry reflected, neither one was really the hugging type.
"So that brings us back to your respective career paths," remarked McGonagall after a surprisingly fast recovery. Hermione had now returned to her seat and was blushing furiously. "When I met with you in fifth year, you were considering some…interesting possibilities. Mr. Potter, I know you cherished an ambition to become an auror. A practical choice, I'll admit. Many were killed recently and the Ministry is in chaos. Are you still interested?"
"Er, I guess that would be pretty cool," Harry replied. Now that Kingsley Shacklebolt was Minister of Magic, Harry didn't oppose the government nearly as much. "Yeah, I'll go with that."
"Excellent," said the professor, "that's one done. Now Miss Granger, you said you wanted to get a ministry job and campaign for elf rights. Quite honestly, I think that would be an utter waste of your talents. Please tell me you've reconsidered." At this statement, she looked straight at Hermione as if the idea insulted her personally.
"Really professor, there's no need to worry," Hermione assured. "Although I do plan on carrying on with S.P.E.W., I also know that I can't make a career out of it. I want to do something more stable for a living. I'm not trying to copy Harry of anything, but I'd like to try being an auror."
"A very responsible decision," commented McGonagall, "although I still don't see why you carry on with this spew business."
Hermione looked appalled at this statement. Harry and Ron had learned long ago not to mess with Hermione's ideas and were able to sense the imminent danger.
"It is the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare. S-P-E-W," Hermione reprimanded her indignantly. "NOT "spew". And we're helping a group of oppressed, enslaved individuals who deserve equal legal status and the right to carry wands!"
McGonagall looked slightly dumbstruck hearing this outburst from such a polite, well-behaved ex-student.
"My deepest apologies," replied McGonagall, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She turned finally to Ron, a look of slight concern on her face. "Now Mr. Weasley, last time we met, you had plans to go to culinary school."
Harry looked at Ron, who was steadily turning pink, then burst out laughing. Ron, a chef? Since when had Ron shown the slightest interest in cooking? It might have been a joke, but McGonagall didn't make jokes.
Hermione had a different view though, and shrieked, "RON, YOU FILTHY IDIOTIC HYPOCRITE! All those days in the woods you complained about my cooking and YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LIKES TO COOK???!!!" Harry could barely stop her from leaping on Ron and beating him to a bloody pulp.
"Erm, actually I just said that to freak out Umbridge. I always thought it would be kind of interesting to be an auror. Mum wants me in the ministry, but I don't want to sit in a cubicle all day." He glanced at Hermione, who still looked angry, and then to McGonagall, who gave him an appraising look.
"I still hate your guts, Ronald Weasley," Hermione spat at him, glaring. Harry couldn't help but roll his eyes. If a teacher hadn't been in the room, his two friends probably would have been snogging already.
"Well, I cannot honestly say I'm surprised," McGonagall told them. "Three for auror training then." Raising her voice so she could be heard by somebody waiting on the stairs, she called, "Alastor, you're needed in here!"
A/N: So…What do you think? Good? Not so Good? Your socks don't match? Tell me! Review!