Chaper 2: I'll Be So Good To You

Haymitch Abernathy was late as usual, and he really did not care, but Effie Trinket could be incredibly scary when she was angry. That woman was something. She might be tiny in stature, but she had a formidable spirit that somehow manifested in her choice of clothing. Not that Haymitch was complaining; the tight pencil skirt she was wearing showed off her bum very, very nicely.

"Are you listening to me?" Effie screeched.

Haymitch winced. Oh right, she was speaking to him.

"Really Mr. Abernathy, it's our third meeting and I cannot put up with your tardiness any longer. How do you think you can take care of two children when you act like a child yourself?"

Haymitch rolled his eyes. "I sincerely apologise, Ms. Euphemia Trinket." He smirked as Effie recoiled at his use of her full name. He knew how to get on her nerves and he made use of that knowledge very frequently. Too frequently, he mused, but it was worth seeing her lose her cool. "I was busy not getting married and not cancelling my wedding."

Effie gasped audibly, shocked that Haymitch had dared to speak of the taboo topic. It was funny really, her colleagues at the office had started using "you-know-what" to reference Effie's broken engagement. Someone, probably Octavia (she was always a little ditzy), had thought that they were talking about Voldemort. Not like that made any sense.

"You...you...you vile, audacious man!" Effie sputtered, scowling at Haymitch."This is absurd! The children cannot have you as a guardian, you are ill-mannered and dirty and..."

"Okay, okay, you two, stop flirting. Let's get down to business." Cinna commented at last, absolutely sick of waiting.

"I am not flirting!" Effie snapped, turning to glare at Cinna. Why in the world would she, Effie Trinket, associate attorney at the top Law firm in town, double awardee of the "Lawyer of The Year" award, be ever interested in that stupid, old doofus? They were all blind, every single one of them. Even Plutarch had started teasing Effie about Haymitch.

"Alright," Cinna continued, completely ignoring Effie. "We have one last week to decide, and it seems to me that we are in gridlock. As you all know, I am really hoping we do not have to take this matter to court. It will not do any party any good, and the children might very well be sent to foster care instead."

"You're just saying that because you know Haymitch will lose." Effie smiled at Portia's response. Sharp and to the point, her young friend was going to make it big someday.

"Not necessarily." Cinna sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Portia, Effie, We are not here to make enemies. We are all here for the good of the children, right?"

The pair nodded.

"Very well. As we all know, only one of you can take up the guardianship of the children. The court would deem it too messy and stressful for the kids if you want to split the guardianship."

Haymitch snorted. He had actually been the one to suggest the idea, but it had been promptly shot down by Cinna. The court was too damn stringent. A split guardianship was obviously better than foster care in any case. At least the sisters would be together.

"Effie, you know perfectly well that it takes a lot to take care of a child. Right now, we have two children, and they desperately need all the care and concern they can receive. I'm not saying you don't have the heart, but you know it's true that you don't have the time to take care of them." Cinna stared pointedly at Effie, trying to make her flinch.

Effie simply resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She had to admit that Cinna was a very skilled lawyer, but still, he was not as experienced as Effie. She knew every trick in the book and some out of it, and of course, she refused to yield.

"I will find the time. It's better than letting them stay with him and learning all his bad habits." Effie snarked.

"And if the kids stay with her, they're going to die of boredom. The stick's so far up her ass, I'm not even sure she knows what humour is." Haymitch chimed in.

Cinna groaned.

"Fine then, we shall meet in court." Effie replied smugly, folding her arms.

Cinna slumped into his chair. Why the hell did he agree to this?

The meeting continued on without much progress, thanks to the quarrels that tended to break out when either Haymitch or Effie started speaking.

"Okay, look." Portia finally interrupted, when Haymitch started mimicking Effie's accent. "We are going to take a short lunch break, and then we will continue this in the afternoon. I need some coffee. You two gave me a headache."

With that, Portia and Cinna hurried out of the meeting room, eager to escape the argument that was brewing again.

Effie gathered her files and got up to leave, but Haymitch blocked her way.

"Look, I have been thinking." He started.

"Well, congratulations." Effie snapped, completely ignoring Haymitch as she manoeuvred to reach the door.

"I have a proposal." Haymitch snatched her files away rudely, forcing her to face him. He took in a deep breath.

"Will you marry me?"

"What?!" Effie shrieked and stumbled back, crashing into a chair.

"That's my proposal." Haymitch shrugged, grabbing Effie's arm to help steady her. She could not help but notice how strong his grip was. His hands, they were rough like how Seneca's weren't.

She tore herself away from his grip and averted her eyes.

"This isn't funny, you know." She murmured. Despite how Effie acted in front of her friends and colleagues, breaking up with Seneca was painful. She knew she was the one who broke it off, but still, it hurt. There were years of memories between them and if there wasn't love, at least there was some fondness. Seneca hadn't even bothered to give Effie a call since the incident.

"I'm serious. We will do it for the children." Haymitch frowned, not at all used to Effie's sudden change in demeanour. For a moment there, she had looked almost...fragile.

"What do you mean?" Effie looked up, with a baffled look on her face.

"If we get married, we won't have to go through all that legal bullshit. We can adopt the kids right away." Haymitch sat on the table, staring intently at Effie. "If we go to court, the case might take weeks, hell, even months, to be resolved. The kids can't wait that long."

"But…But a marriage?" Effie inquired gingerly, still not totally convinced that Haymitch was not playing a cruel trick on her.

"Sweetheart, you're a lawyer. You of all people should know that marriage is just a piece of paper." Haymitch shrugged. "After this whole debacle, we can just get a divorce. All we need to do is sign some papers."

Effie let out a shaky breath. She did not totally buy the idea that marriage was just a piece of paper, but she understood what Haymitch was trying to say. It was almost scary how much sense Haymitch was making. He might be a rude drunk most of the time, but he could be incredibly astute when he wanted to be.

"And if we do," Effie considered her words carefully. "If we do get married, we will get the freedom to decide the guardianship of the children. The court wouldn't care who the children stay with. In the eyes of the law, both of us will gain custody."

Haymitch leapt off the table and grinned. "You know, Effie, I like you better when you're not being a bitch."

"I like you better sober." Effie retorted, and blushed instantly.

"Oh, so now you like me? Always knew you had a thing for bad boys, sweetheart." Haymitch wiggled his eyebrows playfully, watching Effie squirm.

"Please, you did not just call yourself a bad boy." Effie waved his comment away. The man was being terribly childish and she refused to play along.

Effie chewed on her lower lip. "So this is it then? Are we doing it?" She looked at Haymitch uncertainly.

"This is it." Haymitch nodded. "Welcome to your new life, Mrs. Abernathy."

There was a long, awkward pause before Effie ventured to speak again. The way she looked up at him, with those impossibly blue eyes, Haymitch was almost certain she was going to say something cheesy.

But of course, she was Effie Trinket, and she always managed to find a way to surprise him.

"I will draft a pre-nuptial agreement by Monday. Shall we meet on Wednesday at the Registry of Marriages? I will email you the time and all." Effie picked up her files and turned to leave.

"And by the way, I will still be using my maiden name, Mr. Abernathy." She winked and left the room.

That woman was infuriating.

Portia could not help but giggle, as Effie explained to her the agreement she made with Haymitch.

"I always knew there was something between you two!" Portia laughed, "I even made a bet with Cinna about how long it will take for you guys to get together."

Effie pursed her lips, but her assistant was too lost in her glee to notice.

"Thank goodness I bought that dress for…" Portia paused and evaluated her thoughts, but she decided to continue anyway. "You know, for you previous engagement. I will finally have a chance to wear it now!"

"You do realise we are not having a wedding right?" Effie furrowed her brows. "We are probably going to the Registry during lunch and be back before the break's over."

"Yeah, but you're going to need a witness to sign the papers," Portia smiled brightly at Effie. "And I know for the fact that Cinna is Haymitch's witness, so naturally, I'll be yours!"

"How exciting." Effie replied dryly.

"Yes it is!" Portia grabbed Effie's hand and sighed. "I wonder how Haymitch is preparing."

Chaff slapped Haymitch on the back and guffawed so loudly, the other customers in the pub turned to look in their direction.

"Let's raise a glass to Haymitch Abernathy," Chaff announced, lifting his glass. "Our lover boy here is getting married!"

The other patrons cheered and hooted, and some even approached Haymitch to offer their congratulations.

"Fuck you Chaff." Haymitch mumbled, burying his head into his hands, as another customer approached the pair. At least he managed to get some free drinks from the staff.

"Fuck you for not telling me earlier." Chaff chuckled, ordering another drink. "Frankly, I am fucking offended you didn't ask me to be your best man."

Haymitch groaned, taking another swig of his whiskey. "It's not like that. It's purely professional."

Chaff snorted. "Don't give me that bullshit. You like her."

Haymitch spluttered and some whiskey dribbled down his lips. He wiped it away with his sleeve and cringed almost instinctively. He could practically hear Effie complaining about his lack of manners. "Trinket? Seriously? She's a fucking spoilt brat."

"And yet you're marrying her." Chaff raised an eyebrow. He didn't understand Haymitch sometimes.

"That is unfortunately true, my friend," Haymitch lifted his glass and clinked it with Chaff's. "Here's to the last week of bachelorhood."'

Author's Notes: Hello everyone, thank you for commenting, liking and following this story! I am really glad to hear that you guys like it, and I am so relieved to hear that the names I used were acceptable. I am really grateful to all those who commented, your comments made my day. I hope you like this chapter too! Unfortunately, I will be rather busy with school, and I won't have the time to post the third chapter for a while. Please be patient with me! Have a great day ahead :-)