A/N: I've just come back to this fic after forgetting totally about it. My writing style has changed a little since I started this, and I think it shows. I had about half of this chapter done before, and finished it when I rediscovered it! I haven't decided what perspective the rest of the fic is going to be in, so let me know what you think.
"I am going to kill someone today. Hopefully Wufei." I stood in my room, nursing the cup of coffee I'd rescued from the kitchen at some point during my escape. The black liquid was almost gone, and I was still not quite myself. Of course, having a bombshell dropped on you first thing in the morning was not something that set you up well for the day. I sighed, one hand reaching up to finger the cross that hung around my neck, a symbol of my past, and my present. What would Sister Helen think if she could see me now? Probably the same as everyone else in this shack, bastards that they are.
A tentative knock on the door woke me from my reverie. "Duo?" Quatre's soft voice came through the wooden door, accompanied by the smell of fresh coffee. I would do anything for another cup of java at this particular moment, so I opened the door, rather reluctantly, letting the blonde boy enter.
Quatre wordlessly handed over the coffee. Wonderful kid, is Quat. I looked at him expectantly. He'd probably come to talk about the fucking mission.
"We're sorry, Duo." I raised an eyebrow at him, and he had the grace to look even more ashamed and repentant. "We really are! It just… took us by surprise. We thought you'd see the funny side, eventually…" He trailed off, flashing me those big baby blues of his.
I must admit, had I been in his situation, and one of the others had received that mission, I would be laughing my ass off, too. But then, the idea of Heero, Trowa or Wufei in a dress is goddamn hilarious! Hee-bunny would stand there, arms crossed, jaw clenched, and death staring anyone who looked at him funny, much like he did normally, in fact. But then insert that image of him into a little frock, and it's impossible to keep a straight face. 'Course, if you try to imagine Wufei in a dress, its not possible to stop laughing for about three days. Honestly, he'd go off on one of his 'injustice' rants, pacing and glaring. To be honest, when I imagine it, I pop him into a little black number, with his hair loose and red lipstick on…
This particular mental image made me snort into my coffee, and Kitty-Quat looked up, hopefully. Our eyes met, and I burst out laughing.
"Duo?" he asked, a bemused smile on his face. Probably thought I'd gone off my rocker completely.
Between gasps and bursts of laughter, I described my little mental depiction of 'Fei-'Fei. He found it just as amusing as I did.
"You okay about this mission, Duo?" he asked, once we'd calmed down. I sighed.
"Yeah, Q. Just be glad it's me and not one of the other guys!" He snickered. "So, when is my uniform arriving for this school, then?"
"Oh, I'm not sure. It didn't say on the email, but since you start in a week, I'd imagine it would be here soon."
It arrived two days later. The mission hadn't been mentioned again, although Wufei kept smirking at me. It was okay though, since I got to thrash him at sparring. He sulked all day after that.
Anyway, it was Tro-baby who brought the package into the living room, where the rest of us were arranged. 'Fei and Hee-chan were going over some specs for their Gundams, Q-ball was working on some mission plan or other, and I was curled up in my chair, reading an old, pre-colony book, called A Clockwork Orange. Damn, but it was hard work! Good though.
Trowa dropped the parcel onto the little coffee table, and sat down next to Quat on the sofa. He looked at me. I looked back. Suddenly, everyone was paying attention, and I could see Wufei's eye twitching. For some reason, I had the sudden urge to spar with him again. Cocky bastard.
I licked my lips and stood, regarding the parcel with something like trepidation. It's just a box! I pulled my flick knife out of my belt and stabbed the tape holding it shut, with perhaps a touch more violence than was necessary.
It was not as bad as I had been expecting. I pulled the blazer out of the box, holding it up so the others could see. It was black, with the school's logo embroidered on the breast pocket. Oh God, breasts. Sure enough, beneath the fitted white shirt was a bra. With some sort of…gel stuff inside. I held up the thing, and my face must have been hilarious, because Quat started to laugh. I could see Wufei out of the corner of my eye, still desperately trying to keep a straight face, and Heero was bent suspiciously low over his keyboard. Trowa looked me straight in the eyes and said, "You'd think you've never seen a bra before, Maxwell." Totally deadpan. I have a new respect for the guy, seriously. Of course, this was the final straw for Wuffers and Heero, and Quat looked like he was having an aneurysm of some sort, he was laughing so hard.
"And you have, Circus Boy? Last I looked, Q-Ball didn't wear 'em." Ah revenge. It tastes so sweet.
Wuffers seemed to be choking on his tongue, and Heero smacked his head on the table, still chuckling. Tro was still straight-faced, although the corner of his mouth quirked up. His little blonde lover was somehow managing to look scandalised, embarrassed and amused all at the same time, and was bright red with the effort.
I pulled out the next item in the box, a black pleated skirt. My amusement turned to horror as I noticed how short the thing was! I held it to my waist to measure it's length, which made Trowa chuckle. It came about halfway up my thigh.
Beneath this was another blazer. I pulled it out, a little confused. It was cut slightly different to the other, with broader shoulders and a narrower waist. I frowned, setting it aside and picking out the next items in the box. Another shirt and skirt, again different to the first set. Q's laptop bleeped, and he flipped it up without thinking about it.
His eyes went wide as he scanned the screen, once, twice, and a third time, his nostrils flaring. Trowa looked over his shoulder and read the new email, before catching my eye. "What's that about? New mission?" I asked. Tro shook his head, and began to read. Beside him, Q was turning red again.
"We have received new information vital to 02's mission. The daughter of the school's owner is starting when 02 does, and may be privy to some of the data we are looking for. Of course, befriending her and discovering what she knows will be a vital part of this mission, as well as investigating the school itself.
"The danger level of this mission has significantly increased, as the security surrounding the school had been doubled, because of the presence of such a high-profile young woman. As the previous mission data stated, this girl's father is involved in the upper echelons of the Romefeller Foundation, and the school is suspected to be a cover for his activities. In addition to this, we have received reports of the presence of Mobile Dolls in the area, which suggests that the school is being used as either a production plant or testing area.
"Therefore, 05 will be sent to accompany 02, as this mission has become vital. We will need the presence of two pilots."
The smile had disappeared from Wufei's face, and he looked incredibly pale. I felt a grin growing on my face. Wuffers in a dress! I avoided Q-ball's eye, knowing he was thinking much the same as me. Trowa caught my eye briefly, before continuing to read.
"Please inform 02 and 05 that the waxing strips at the bottom of the parcel are to be used on all visible body hair. Including chests."
Wu looked at me. I looked back, utterly horrified. Waxing! He mirrored the expression on my face, and there was silence in the room.
"Waxing!" spluttered Heero, causing the other two to start laughing. Bastards. I hate Heero. I looked at Wu. I think he'd gone into shock, because he was incredibly pale, and his eyes didn't seem to be focusing properly. Heero was practically peeing himself in his corner. Fucking bastard.
I held out Wufei's skirt, an action that Heero, Trowa and Quat all seemed to find hilarious. Poor Wu just kind of looked at it, like it was some sort of alien device. I must admit, his face was hilarious. I bit down a chuckle as he stretched out a tentative hand to take the garment offered to him.
"Who's laughing now, Fei-chan?" I grinned. Heero shot me a sharp look, and I realised that I'd just demonstrated that I knew exactly what I was saying when I called him 'Hee-chan.' Oh well, he didn't seem too bothered, and was still laughing his ass off at 'Fei's now murderous expression.
I turned and legged it, making out of the room just as he lunged toward me. His shout of "MAXWELL!!" followed me all the way upstairs to my room, where I could lock the door against him until he calmed down.
Ha, Wufei in a dress…..